De-Evolution

Today at work everyone I saw had a comment for me… from "Man, you look really red," to "What the hell did you do to yourself?" to "What were YOU doing this weekend?" One person even said they were having a hard time looking at me because I looked like I was in so much pain.

I've pretty much gotten used to the fact that I'm dumb. The sunburn wasn't really bothering me so much today. I knew I had small blisters on my face, but I also knew you couldn't really see them from a distance. So, I was trying to convince myself that it didn't look that bad.

Turns out… not so much. My whole face is actually swollen. I kinda noticed it in my forehead, that it was sticking out slightly further than usual. But, really, how many people would know my face better than I do? I didn't think people would notice much.

Until I looked in the mirror when I got home. Turns out it was more swollen than I thought. Swollen so far in fact, that my forehead is encroaching upon my eye sockets.


(My eyes look really brown here. Odd.)

That's totally not normal!! Plus, it kinda makes me look really confused.

Not really sure what the hell I'm talking about?



I think this is what I would have looked like 30,000 years ago. You put some flint tools in my hand and have me do some cave drawings, and I'd blend right in.

I could be the most brilliant of all the Cro-Magnons. Because lord knows I'm quickly dropping in the ratings of the Homo sapiens. And I do mean daily.

End Blog.

The Perk of Missouri

Ha Ha!!

I just bought gas for $1.96 a gallon.

I wish I had somewhere to drive.

Henry and I are ready to go.

End Blog.

Stupidity at its Finest

While in the sun, if you know you're getting burnt and are already in pain, yet continue to stay in the sun... you're probably in store for a miserable existence in the coming days.

I haven't been this sunburnt in... well, probably all of my life. But, I think I may have helped my situation yesterday the tiniest bit. I recently learned in my first aid class that to treat sunburn you should cool down the skin with damp, cool, wet towels. It gets the heat out from under your skin. If you don't do this, it stays in there and the layers of skin continue to act like blankets heating your flesh and making your sunburn worsen to the point where blisters form. Yay, second degree burns!

So, when going to sleep last night, I covered my arms with a wet towel and tried to keep my upper body cool while covering my legs with enough blankets so that I was warm enough to go to sleep. It was an uncomfotable, restless night. But, I finally got some sleep.

I woke up this morning, still in pain, and went to the bathroom to check out the damage. I'm still way red, but my arms don't look any worse than yesterday. There may be one or two small blisters that pop up, but overall, I think I did a good job in helping my situation, though I'm not ready to wear things with sleeves yet.

Sadly, one thing I can't do is sleep with a wet towel on my face. (I tried.) My nose has been a little stuffy recently and with the towel nearby, breathing became an issue.

So, now I'm horribly disfigured.

I actually have blisters along my hairline, nose, and chin. It is taking all the will power I have not to pop them. (Gross, I know.) I'm totally one of those people. I pick at scabs and pop zits and blisters have performed minor surgeries on my own ingrown toenails and a wart I once had on my foot. I'm not usually a huge whimp when it comes to pain or pus or blood. And as these things go, this is nothing like the back pain I had for a month in June of 2005. That was the worst pain I've ever experienced. (It's been over a year since I've had any back issues! Rejoice! It's something that usually surfaces about twice a year.)

I know things could be way worse, so I'm not really complaining about the slight uncomfortableness of this pain. The left side and back of my neck hurt a little, the very tops of my shoulders where the red line begins hurt, and my lips are in a constant state of ouchiness. Mostly I feel bad about doing this to them because it was easily prevented but I'm a lazy idiot. I suppose I'll learn from this, eh? Luckily this is not a bathing suit burn. Things could be oh soooo much worse.

But really, blisters on my face? That sucks.

A lot.

End Blog.

Ouch

I went to the air show today. Wanna see what I brought home with me?




SUNBURN!!

Ignoring the mess in the background and the happy expression on my face... please note how amazingly red I am. This is not a photoshop trick. I am actually THAT color.

I have a line from my watch that's just as pretty as the ones you see here.

Damn you stupid ball of fire in the sky! Leave my flesh alone!

I'm just thrilled that I had the insight to wear jeans and spared my legs from this pain. The weather people LIED TO ME. It was supposed to be "in the low 80s, overcast, with chance of showers". What was the weather today? NOTHING LIKE THAT! It was 92 degrees, not a cloud in the sky, kinda windy.

So, also my lips are chapped. Or burned. Or... well, they hurt too.

And because of the wind, there were no paratrooper people jumping out of planes. The thing that I wanted to see the most, the Golden Knights, didn't perform. Boo.

I guess the Blue Angels were cool too. But, I'm not sure it was worth being this color.

Someone needs to be a responsible adult and give me sunscreen next time they take me outside. I can't be trusted.

Probably the next time I go outside I'll just spontaneously burst into flames.

Forecast for tomorrow? 72 degrees, scattered showers.

Dear people going to the air show: Take lots of water and sunscreen with you. The weather people have no idea what they're talking about.

(For shits and giggles, scroll down to the photo from the Ren Fest (now that was a beautiful day) and look at what a white girl I am. 20 minutes in the sun and I was totally fucked. Totally.)

I'm ready for fall.

End Blog.

Forces of Evil

The forces of evil combined in my apartment today.

I finally decided that I MUST do laundry so that I have something to wear tomorrow. And while I was pulling clothes out of my laundry basket, a black medium sized spider ran through the clothes and disappeared beneath them.

So, there's a spider in my laundry. Which is a really awesome excuse for not doing laundry.

Except I really needed to.

So, I dumped the clothes in the machine and tried to touch them as little as possible. Either the spider escaped or is currently getting a nice bath... er, death.

Why can't spiders be really big, furry, have half as many legs, and like to bark? I wouldn't hate them so much then.

End Blog.

Too Funny Not To Post

Your Bumper Sticker Should Be

"I've made smarter things than you by eating fiber"

What Bumper Sticker Should Be On Your Car?

Hehe. It's probably true for some.

End Blog.

Ren Fest Drunken Antics

Soooo... maybe this is where all my brain cells went.

But, c'mon. Don't I look like I'm enjoying myself with my new swine friend? They actually had to tell me to look up in this picture because I was speaking to him.

His name is Hamlet. He likes beer.

End Blog.

I'm a Genius!

Please read that headline again and note how it is just saturated and dripping with the most sarcasm you have ever heard in your entire life.

Now, let me tell you about my morning.

My hair was unruly because I showered last night and slept on it wet. After deciding I didn't have enough time to make it look normal, I pulled it into a ponytail and sat down at my computer. Because, if there's one thing I know for sure, it's that I can't leave my apartment in the morning without changing an away message and checking my email. It's a sickness, I know. I'm severely addicted to online life. I've come to terms with it. You should too.

This morning required that I reply to an email quickly and then I headed out of the door with two blockbuster videos I needed to drop off in the mail. On the way to the car I realized that, indeed, I hadn't left the house on Sunday like I thought I was going to, so in turn, I hadn't filled my gas tank. So, now I have mail and gas to take care of, which was probably going to be pushing the limits of arriving at work on time.

I briefly entertained the idea of not dropping off the mail, but decided that it really wasn't going to take me that much longer. So, I headed to the mailbox at the leasing office, parked my car, and ran to the box to toss them in. I've done this many times. I always park in the same spot and I always leave my car running. One thing I've never done, however, is somehow manage to lock my doors in the process.

I get back to my car, pull the handle, and stare at the door when it doesn't open. Locked? It's locked? How could it possibly be locked? I tried another door. And another. And another. Then I tried the back hatch just to be certain. All locked. I'm still not sure how it happened. I must have bumped the keyless entry pad sometime after entering the vehicle. Regardless… I was now stuck with locked running car and no keys to my apartment to get the spare for my car.

I had a dilemma on my hands. And to top it off, the car was running on fumes. The gas light was already on and the needle was on E. So, if I didn't somehow beat the clock, I was going to be stuck with a car that was out of gas as well. There was really no telling how much gas was left in there.

So, I called Daniel and asked if I could screw up his morning so he could bring me the spare key to my back door. And, sweetheart that he is, he agreed. In the meantime, I ran back to my apartment, on the weird off-chance that somehow my door was miraculously unlocked. I checked the main door. Locked. As I knew it should be because I locked it five minutes earlier. Then I checked the back door. And the knob turned and the door opened.

Thank goodness! I immediately called Dan and let him know he didn't have to come save my morning and then I got my spare key and left the way I came. And I ran all the way back to my car.

Now, you may be wondering the same thing that I am… why, exactly was my back door open? And how long do you think it's been this way? I hardly ever use that door. But, I didn't think ahead enough to find my other spare key and lock my back door while I was leaving, either. So, it was open all day. I felt a little bad about that, but I also realized that it could have been like that every day for the past month…

Anyway, I ran back to the car and went to the gas station. I was sweaty and my heart was pounding. I'm like, SO out of shape. I contemplated taking up the treadmill. I still think that might be a good idea. I also think I should hide random keys all over the fricken place.

So, I currently have 10 minutes to get to work. Realizing that's impossible, even if I had a flying car, I come to terms with being late. Sort of. I filled my tank (highlight of the day, gas was $2.29 a gallon – eat that DC!) and headed to work. I ran 4 yellow lights and arrived about 15 minutes late. I walked in at the same time as one of my coworkers. So, I guess it wasn't all bad.

Later at work, when I was resealing a bag of evidence, I forgot to put all of it back in the bag before closing it up. So, I had to open it again, in a new spot, and reseal the darn thing again.

I seriously think I may have misplaced my brain. If you find it, please send it home.

To make up for this morning fiasco, I took myself to Chipotle for lunch.

I've come to find that Chipotle makes just about everything better.

I think I'll go lock my back door. Although, the randomness that it was open this morning was such a time saver.

I hope that karma balanced out in the world and someone had a really remarkable day. And if the person having a bad day gets to determine who gets the good one, I had the perfect individual in mind this morning. So, I hope that worked out well for her.

End Blog.

Shawnee Mission

"Shawnee Mission KIA, just a short drive. Shawnee Mission Parkway and I-35."


I know that for all of you who don't actually live in KC and listen to the radio here, that you don't understand this. But every time I hear "Shawnee Mission" this commercial jingle pops into my head.

Last night I drove through Shawnee Mission on I-35 and was disappointed to find that you can't actually see the KIA dealer from the highway. You can, however, see a myriad of other dealerships. Like Jaguars and BMWs. Things you wouldn't associate with KIA's at all. So, I suppose this is why they need an annoying jingle that you'll remember.

But man... I'd really like to be able to hear the name of that town without singing that.

End Blog.

No! I Tried To Move Away From You!

Blech. I just found out Bush will be in Kansas City on Friday.

Something about raising money for Senator Jim Talent’s re-election. Booooooo. Can't they do this in the capital or something? Hang out in Jeff City for a bit? No, too small? How about STL?

Sigh. Well, if I can't stop it, then I shall take this opportunity to say: Vote for Democratic challenger Claire McCaskill! I base this solely on her supportive position for stem cell research. Yes, I'm uninformed about all the other issues, and I can vote. I'm an American, damnit!

Oh, and this is the only time you'll ever see me post something with "Bush" and "talent" together.

End Blog.


AH! Edited to add:
On Saturday former President Bill Clinton travels to St. Louis to speak at a fundraising brunch for Claire McCaskill. So, are you telling me I finally made it to MO and moved to the red city instead of the blue one?

Damn.

Newsworthy?

For some unknown reason there was a photographer from the Kansas City Star at the Lee's Summit Hospital this evening while I was taking my first aid training class. He took my picture as Kelly wrapped my "wound" with a pressure bandage. I signed something saying they could use my likeness. I gave them my social security number.

And I have no idea why.

So... I might be in the paper. For some reason.

I don't get the paper so I'll probably never know if I make an appearance there. But... odd, no?

The good news is I'm now certified to administer first aid for the next three years. Although, first aid is not CPR. That's a whole different class. And, as it turns out, you don't even have to do the breathing part anymore so I'm sure that class is rather boring.

Anyway - if you get the paper, keep a lookout for my mug. I'll be the one on the left all bandaged up and probably laughing.

End Blog.

The Weekly Blogthings You All Love

You Are a Life Blogger!

Your blog is the story of your life - a living diary. If it happens, you blog it. And make it as entertaining as possible.

What Kind of Blogger Are You?

No kidding,eh? I figured we start small.

You Have a Phlegmatic Temperament

Mild mannered and laid back, you take life at a slow pace. You are very consistent - both in emotions and actions. You tend to absorb set backs easily. You are cool and collected. It is difficult to offend you. You can remain composed and unemotional. You are a great friend and lover. You don't demand much of others. While you are quiet, you have a subtle wit that your friends know well. At your worst, you are lazy and unwilling to work at anything. You often get stuck in a rut, without aspirations or dreams. You can get too dependent on others, setting yourself up for abandonment.

What Temperment Are You?

Phlegmatic?
adjective
1: resembling, consisting of, or producing the humor phlegm
2: having or showing a slow and stolid temperament

Phlegm -
noun
1: inactivity; showing an unusual lack of energy
2: apathy demonstrated by an absence of emotional reactions

Well, that was educational, now, wasn't it?

Your Observation Skills Get An A-

Hardly anything gets by you... You have a great memory and eagle eyes

How Observant Are You?

Dude, I'm also a really really good guesser. I love multiple choice tests.

Your Kissing Purity Score: 46% Pure

You're not one to kiss and tell... But word is, you kiss pretty well.

Kissing Purity Test

Less pure than you thought!

Your Quirk Factor: 62%

You're so quirky, it's hard for you to tell the difference between quirky and normal. No doubt about it, there's little about you that's "normal" or "average."

How Quirky Are You?

I only put this one up because the picture is so damn awesome.

You Are a Natural Flirt

Believe it or not, you're a really effective flirt. And you're so good, you hardly notice that you're flirting. Your attitude and confidence make you a natural flirt. And the fact that you don't know it is just that more attractive!

What Kind of Flirt Are You?

Um... yeah, I don't believe it. Effective? Doubtful. Although the hardly noticing part is probably true.

You Are Most Like John F. Kennedy

You live a fairy tale life that most people envy. And while you may have a few dark secrets, few people know them.

What Modern US President Are You Most Like?

Woo! Dark Secrets!

You Are: 90% Dog, 10% Cat

You're a dog at heart - and it's not a bad thing at all! You love unconditionally, and you're extremely loyal. And while you may act silly at times, you're really quite smart - and a good learner!

Are You More Cat or Dog?

No kidding. This is why I get along so well with them. Mostly likely I was seperated from my litter at birth.

You Passed 8th Grade Math

Congratulations, you got 10/10 correct!

Could You Pass 8th Grade Math?

All with my own noggin, too. Even though the calculator is handy and I use it to add and subtract in my checkbook.

You Passed 8th Grade Science

Congratulations, you got 8/8 correct!

Could You Pass 8th Grade Science?

Although the person who MADE this test couldn't have passed 8th grade science, since they don't know the difference between a neuron and a neutron. Do I get extra geek points for knowing that they're not all that bright?

Your Political Profile:

Overall: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Social Issues: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Ethics: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Defense and Crime: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal

How Liberal Or Conservative Are You?

Heh... Defense and crime - 75% conservative. Guess we know who I work for, now, don't we?


You know you love these.
*hangs head*
I really shouldn't be allowed online some nights.

End Blog.

The Magic of Beer

Here’s what I remember of the Renaissance Festival: It was magic.

Now, considering the combination of a giant turkey leg, a jousting match, a fire eater, an actual magician, talking to random street characters and consuming three beers… I’m sure that really all I needed was the three beers to make the above statement.

I had remained relatively sober all weekend – partially because I thought people might need my help driving (and I’m such an upstanding citizen), and partially because I was on call and hoping something would happen that would require my considerable lack of forensic expertise. The second didn’t happen, although I was a fantastic driver both Friday and Sunday nights. (Saturday was spent at home without alcohol as well.)

So, considering that I don’t drink all that often and am by nature a lightweight… well, three beers and I was way more drunk than I had any right to be. It was kind of surprising how bad it got so quickly.

Man, I had such a good time.

And Beth, thank you for not letting me fall over my own feet and take a header into the wooden benches. You’re a peach.

Although, this does make one wonder if the Ren Fest would have been just as entertaining without alcohol. I seem to think not.

The only disappointment is that we never ran into the schizophrenic narcoleptic. Maybe she had fallen asleep somewhere.

If I can get the Andersons to email me pictures, I might let you see them if they’re not too embarrassing. I’m pretty sure there’s a good one of me offering some of my beer to a stone pig. (Huzzah, Beer!)

Yeah, you read that right.

End Blog.

Alumni News

So, they've finally started construction on my old undergrad science building, well loved Garber. Ah, the mornings I would roll out of bed and walk across the street to class… and right up this sidewalk.



What sidewalk? Yes. Exactly. There used to be one there. In fact, see this here area that's all torn to pieces? I once had to pretend to be a squirrel here for a demonstration on competition in my Animal Behavior class. We were searching for peanuts. I loved Dr. Goodman so much.

Speaking of Animal Behavior... that was held in room 224. Ah, beloved 224. The hottest room in Garber, and the most hidden, tiny, cozy place to have class. Poor 224. Of course, Senior Seminar was here too, so I don't feel so bad about them ripping the place down.

And then there is 204 - the classroom that I think I had every single psych class in.



Look at what's happened! It kinda makes me sick. I loved this place and it's dingy-dirty-horribly lit corridors.

Oh, and they are making a huge change that I can't agree with. They're putting windows into the science building! Since when have scientists ever needed sunlight?

Oh, the many days I walked into lab while the sun was out and been completely shocked stepping out of the building into the darkness of night. One good thing about not having windows? No distractions. Don't give college students windows. They'll look out of them! Especially if it's a nice day. It's a mistake, people. I don't know why you don't listen to me.



Windows! In physics class? This should never be. Wrong wrong wrong. Bad planing. You'll rue the day, LVC!

Oh, my poor, poor building. I know it's for the best, but I hate seeing it like this. And even though it's being renamed with the weird hyphenate-Garber, I'll still only ever call it Garber.

It's sad to know that the psychology department has long since moved from the building. I spent many a happy classroom experience in psych. I wonder what's been going on in this room without them this whole time...



(I'm pretty sure this is still 204, but they kinda all look similar now that they're trashed.) I can almost see Manza standing in here teaching over the rubble.

Really makes me wonder where the heck classes and labs are being held right now though. I mean, we don't have any other suitable place for any of the labs. I suppose you could teach the big o-chem and genetics classes in Chapel, and the smaller lectures anywhere else... but where are they holding labs? WHERE!?



'Cause it's not here.


How crazy is my love for LVC now that I'm gone? I just found out we're ranked in the top 2% in alumni giving in US News. I'm sure they must somehow brainwash us all at graduation with this overwhelming sense of goodness that came from the place, because I didn't love it this much while I was there.

We did surely get a quality education though.

They hired a new visiting assitant professor in the psych department. I don't care what she's teaching, if I were there I'd take her class. She's British. How much fun would an accent be! Well, I mean one that wasn't Cullari's. It took me a little while to figure out what the heck he was saying... though I did finally figure it out. Though, it wasn't so much his accent as his tendency to mumble, I suppose.

Oh, man... it's still plaguing me.

Where are labs being held? Why don't I still know anyone at LVC so I can ask them?

Oh... right... because I graduated from there in 2003 and any freshmen I knew from that time period just graduated last year! I'm getting so old.

Oh, hey, the colloquium this year is "Democracy and its Discontents". I'd so love to go to anything they're putting on. Sadly, as a freshmen, I bet I would have cared less. In fact, I know I would have. Because my colloquium was about gender issues, if I remember correctly, and I only attended the mandatory three that were required of me. And now, I'd really love to go to them. I really didn't take advantage of college. There's so much learning you can do there! Who knew?

Oh, oh... I feel that I'm about to burst into the alma mater!

To Thee dear Alma Mater, this ringing song we raise
A song that's fraught with gladness, a song that's filled with praise
We cannot help but love Thee, our hearts are full and free
Full well we know the debt we owe, to dear old LVC!

Mostly people only sang the last line.

Sigh. Maybe I should pay my student loan bill.

End Blog.

Something I Could Live Without

As I sat down in the bathroom, I noticed a bug of some sort crawling along my pajama pants. I jumped, brushed it away, and grabbed some toilet paper to smoosh it into the floor and kill it - but good. And when I reached for said toliet paper, I found a giant spider sitting on the side of the bathroom counter sink, inches away from me and my toilet paper.

All the while I'm sitting there on my toilet, in the midst of peeing. Which, I found, is something that doesn't stop when you're surrounded by insects and totally freaked out.

This is not my idea of a good way to head to bed.

Now my heart's all fast and quick from the jumpiness. You can't sleep like that.

There's just something about things that creep you out while you're vulnerable like that... I mean, it was a hard choice. Finish peeing or get the hell away from it? Then regaining muscle control to actually perform one of those tasks.

I know it sounds like I'm living in a shit hole. That's not the case. There are just... bugs here. And even the idea of a roommate who will kill them for me wouldn't have worked in this situation. Because how many times can you actually get your roommate to pee with you?

Never.

On the bright side, this is the first spider I've seen since I talked to the apartment management. But, also the first other weird random bug...

(I never thought I'd post a blog about peeing. Or one that had the word 'toilet' in it so many times. What is my life coming to?)

End Blog.

Weeds

So, I rented season one and watched it. It was enjoyable and I figured it was something I'd continue to watch on a "this show is pretty cool" basis. That is, until the final episode of season one.

It had a wonderful holy-shit! cliffhanger ending. I gasped in shock.

Then, I immediately downloaded what's been aired of season two. So far the second season's better than the first.

This is great TV. You should watch it. Congratulations, Showtime. You've got a winner on your hands and a big fan in me. I'm enjoying the crazy things you keep throwing at this woman.

I also like how random Andy gets when he's high – "I'm so glad our last name isn't Drew. Because then you'd be Nancy Drew and I'd be Andrew Drew." (Makes me laugh. But trust me, not the greatest dialogue to use as an example.)

Kevin Nealon and Elizabeth Perkins are great in this. And so is Mary-Louise Parker. I'd say more wonderful things, but I don't want to spoil anything else in case you decide to watch. (Which you should.)

Oh, also, the music is brilliant. I want to hug whoever is doing the music. (Not like that other Showtime show.)

Sadly, I've seen all there is to see right now and I have to wait for more episodes to air – or be leaked to the internet. Marathons of shows are so evil. Serial dramas like this should air daily. I got too invested too quickly and now I might be going through withdrawal.

TV: My Anti-drug.

End Blog.

Today Is My Half Birthday

No one remembered.


End Blog.

Seven Random Actresses

Guess who I saw on TV for the first time in ages while watching the Emmys tonight. That's right, Gillian Anderson! Who knew that she hadn't fallen off the face of the planet? Sadly, she's been doing these weird period pieces that I have absolutely no interest in. I hate watching people in big huge dresses and corsets. Anyway, she was nominated for Bleak House, this miniseries about the injustices of the 19^th century English legal system. Bleck. Totally not watching that. Even the name sounds like it's something awful. Gilly, I miss you, but not that much. As a side note, I like your real hair color.

This also seems like a lovely time to bring up Mariska Hargitay. Now, I know this is hard to believe, but I don't watch any of the Law & Orders. I doubt I ever will. But from the few moments I've actually caught her on TV, I really like her. And I'm totally psyched that she beat out Kyra Sedgwick for outstanding lead actress in a drama series.

And speaking of actresses I can't stand…

I'm thinking about going to see The Black Dahlia when it comes out just so I can see Mia Kirshner in a role that I know I'll like her in: that of a corpse. I'm still wondering how Showtime let The L Word kill off their most endearing character while Jenny remains on the canvas. Man, I hate Jenny. Which, in turn, has soured me towards Mia Kirshner in general. (Much like Sedgwick. Anyone even know what else she's done?) But also, Hillary Swank is in that movie, and we know that everything she touches turns to gold. I mean, I even liked The Next Karate Kid. Did you see 11:14? Because you should. I love movies like that. (Okay, you're right. For a second there I forgot about The Core. So maybe not everything she touches…)

Oh, hey, speaking of Showtime series, I just started watching Weeds with Mary-Louise Parker and Elizabeth Perkins. From what I've seen so far, it's quality. I'll probably rent the second disc this week and finish the series, then look into acquiring season two as its aired – whenever that may be. I'll have to do some research on the matter. (Sweet! I just looked it up, the second season's just started, we're three episodes in.) It's a bummer that I don't have Showtime, but I'm already paying like 85 bucks for my cable and internet access, and I don't even watch TV as much as I used to.

I got side tracked… this was just going to be about the Emmys. Oh well… I guess that's what you get during these unplanned stream of consciousness posts.

(I swear I just heard the TV play a Wachovia commercial. Missouri doesn't have Wachovias! I might be going crazy. I hate not being able to see my TV the same time I'm typing. The set up in DC was so much better for multitasking.)

I need to stop typing or I might ramble forever.

End Blog.

Hey, Christian Fundamentalists!

Look over here! I just found out something really interesting.

You have Bible references for everything - little tidbits of information on all sorts of things... like why stem cell research is bad, and abortions are wrong, and how marriage is only between one man and one woman...

Well, I got news for you!

Have you read Leviticus 19:19 recently? No?

Well, here you go, I won't make you look it up on your own.

"Ye shall keep my statutes. Thou shalt not let thy cattle gender with a diverse kind: thou shalt not sow thy field with two kinds of seed: neither shall there come upon thee a garment of two kinds of stuff mingled together."

You better go throw out all of your blended fabrics right now.

Ya damn sinners!


End Blog.

Pluto's Out

Recently astronomers decided to boot Pluto from our solar system and downgrade its status as an official planet. I was saddened by this news until today when I realized something extraordinary.

This is totally gonna fuck with astrologers.

And what's more fun than that?

End Blog.

A Profile of My Very Own

Today I found out that my DNA's finally been run at the lab in case I end up contaminating anything. I'll be entered into CODIS sometime soon. Woo!

Once I found this out, and being the total geek that I am, I asked to look at my profile. Then we did the statistical calculations to see how unique I am. Ready for it? Ready?

I don't think you're ready.

You don't look ready. You should prepare for this. I'll give you 30 seconds.

*Plays the Jeopardy Theme*


My profile appears in one out of every 3.722 quintillion individuals. (There aren't even that many people on the planet.)

That's 1 in 3,722,000,000,000,000,000 people!

I know that you're probably just as interested as I am... So, here it is, folks:



Pretty, ain't it?

If you look closely, you'll notice that three of the same loci were duplicated. These are internal controls to make sure things are copasetic. There are thirteen loci tested (plus the amelogenin - for sex determination) between the cofiler and profiler plus systems. This is the standard that law enforcement uses.

Spiffy. Now all my illegitimate children can find me.
Wait a minute...

End Blog.

Hateful Generalizations

Today must be a statewide holiday for everyone with a Missouri license plate. They get to make stupid decisions, drive recklessly, and have accidents all over the road, causing slow traffic and requiring police attention. What a fun, fun day!

People on the roads annoyed me both going to and driving home from work today. So, for everyone's education, let's go over some basic rules of the road.

1. When it's raining and you have your windshield wipers on, TURN ON YOUR FREAKIN' HEADLIGHTS.
2. When it's pouring, slow down. Just a little bit. Please?
3. When it's barely drizzling, you don't need to slow it down to 30mph. The highway minimum is 40. That means all the time.
4. Please, control your temper on the road. Yes, that asshole in front of you is doing 30mph, but you swerving around him and speeding off down the road only ends in tragedy. Like when you lose control of your brand new Mustang on the slick roads and cross the muddy median into oncoming highway traffic. Which only causes more traffic and rubberneckers and a ruined Mustang.

You have insane thunderstorms here all the time. Why the hell don't you know how to drive in the rain? I'm not looking forward to the winter snowy months. It's amazing that all of you are not dead by now.

(PS - To the man in the black Taurus that I let merge into my lane: I'm not talking to you. You were very polite and friendly and patient and safe. And, you're welcome... but you didn't need to wave thanks three separate times. And I could see your hand through the window, so you needn't have put it down to wave as well.)

End Blog.

More Random Blogthings

Yep, I'm that bored again.

You Are Dr. Bunsen Honeydew

You take the title "mad scientist" to the extreme -with very scary things coming out of your lab. And you've invented some pretty cool things, from a banana sharpener to a robot politician. But while you're busy turning gold into cottage cheese, you need to watch out for poor little Beaker! "Oh, that's very naughty, Beaker! Now you eat these paper clips this minute."

The Muppet Personality Test

Hey! I'd get to hang out with Beaker all the time. I love that li'l guy.

Your Lucky Underwear is Orange

You have an intense personality and crave extreme emotional experiences. And your lucky orange underwear will help you take it to a whole new level. Adventure and danger don't phase you - in fact you enjoy dicey situations. You're the first to take a risk, and the first to get the payoff. And while your risks sometimes result in great rewards, they also sometimes result in devastating failures. If you want to have intense moments without always risking all you have, put on your orange underpants. They'll help you experience life with rich emotions, no matter what you're doing.

What Color Is Your Lucky Underwear?

Hey! I actually have a pair of orange underwear. I didn't know they were lucky. Maybe I should wear them more.

Your Penis Name Is...

El Presidente

Penis Name Generator

Hey! I actually don't have a penis. ¿Pero es muy divertido, no?

You Are Mexican Food

Spicy yet dependable. You pull punches, but people still love you.

What Kind of Food Are You?

That probably explains my penis's name, eh?

You Passed the US Citizenship Test

Congratulations - you got 9 out of 10 correct!

Could You Pass the US Citizenship Test?

Huh... pretty good for a girl who hated history. I didn't know what year the Constitution was written. (But at least we know I'm not Mexican now.)

End Blog.

Who Ya Gonna Call?

Spider-Busters!

I talked to the building management people after work. They're sending over exterminators for my spider issue. Although, it'll only help the situation, not solve it... "Living on the ground floor at this time of year..." blah, blah, I don't care. Knowing that they're coming gives me peace of mind.

I freak out when things move in the corner of my eyesight - even when it's a reflection of the ceiling fan on a glossy surface, or myself in the mirror in my bedroom.

I should have asked them about their dog policy and if it's changed, but she was getting ready to show an apartment and I didn't really need to take up any more of her time. I just wanted less spiders. Hopefully I'll have that soon.

I haven't killed one today. But... the night is still young.

End Blog.

Eight Legged Freaks

Someone should have warned me that there are 400 billion spiders in Missouri before I moved here. Maybe I wouldn't have come. (Yes, that's how many live here with me. I'm not exaggerating when I say this – I've killed a spider every day for four consecutive days. I even dreamt about spiders last night.)

I am so sick of being freaked out by damn spiders every day. I do not like them. I can not live with them in harmony. Yet, I hate killing them simply because you have to get close to them to do it. Yes, in this area, I'm the worst "girl" you'll ever meet. I hate them. Hate hate hate.

In addition, they can get away from you and hide so thoroughly that you can't find them… and you know they are there, just lying in wait, so they can kill you in your sleep.

One got away from me this evening. I do not like that fact. (It also broke my daily killing streak.)

On a brighter note, the spider web that was built in the corner my bathroom has caught one of my own hairs and a white feather, presumably from the down comforter I use. The spider that has been in residence there has disappeared. I'm hoping he starved to death, but I'm sure that didn't happen. I think that instead, a larger spider living in my apartment probably ate him.

I know I'm next on the menu.

I've had a conversation with my spider plant, Mr. Spidey. He's not interested in protecting me. Damn useless plant.

End Blog.

Waiting by the Phone

I'm currently back near the top of the list for getting called out on crime scenes. I would have gone to a double homicide shooting in Liberty last night if they could have found a primary able to go on the call. But, no. Alas, they were all busy or unreachable, so our CSTs took the case instead. Bummer.

In addition to this, there's been a serial murderer out in Cass County. You may have heard about the case, as it made national news over the weekend. Our people were there. One of the new DNA hires that went through crime scene school with me got to go out on scene. She worked 23 hours over the weekend – but not outside digging up remains. Our people were working the basement indoors so I haven't seen any of them in the press. But, you can see the news story here. I think all the people outside are highway patrol. (I hear they stole some of our equipment, too. Okay, maybe "borrowed" is a better term.)

I'm really rather jealous. I would have loved to be out on this scene. And the upsetting part was she came to work Monday complaining about how she got little sleep. "Trust me, you're lucky you didn't have to go." Whatever! I would have been thrilled and psyched to be at work on the weekend. I'm sure she doesn't understand how much I love my job. Even in the down time they had when they were waiting around for the other agencies and eating doughnuts (they actually did that), I would have been happy as a clam. (Oh, and I think that's a perfectly acceptable breakfast, by the way. Why are so many people concerned with health food? We're all dying of cancer eventually anyway. Eat what you like.) Not to mention all the comp time she just got. Hello, you have vacation days now. There's nothing to be complaining about in this situation. Not even a little.

Man, I'm so close to working something huge! But you know when I finally do get called out, it'll be to something rather boring and probably in the middle of the day like last time.

I mean, not that I want there to be more serial killers and murders shooting people just so I get to work an interesting case. I'm just saying… it's about time for me to see something spectacular. I'm ready.

Put me in, Coach.

End Blog.

Support Free Speech

So, tonight I went to a free screening of Shut Up and Sing about the Dixie Chicks. As far as music documentaries go, it was pretty excellent. I was impressed. (I also sat right next to one of the filmmakers. He wrote down, like, every single one of my reactions. It was kinda weird.)

I'm not sure when this movie will be coming out, but you should see it. Some people in the focus group complained about the timeline switching back and forth between 2003 and 2006, but I really enjoyed the way the movie was cut. Especially involving the political aspects of their "controversy".

If you forget what it was all about (or never really knew), before the war started (what feels like eons ago), Natalie, the lead singer of the Dixie Chicks, made an unscripted comment between two songs at a live concert in London at Shepards Bush. At the time there were anti-war protests going on in London and she commented on how she was with them - she was on the good side - and that she was embarrassed that the President of the United States was from Texas. (It's her home state, too.)

That one tiny little statement had people burning her CDs, country stations banning them from the radio, and a weird feud with Toby Keith. Natalie received death threats. The red heart of America went a little crazy, as they tend to do, and completely over reacted - basically killing their career. They went from the top female group of all time to not being played on the radio. They were suddenly unpatriotic sluts and they did nothing wrong.

The movie is about recovering from that backlash, not stepping down from their viewpoint, and finding a new audience. The newest album is good. And more emotional and personal than any of the others they've done because it's the first one that they've written on their own.

The girls are likeable and real.

And you watch this film and see things like news stories confirming that Iraq has weapons of mass destruction, people saying that the war will be over in two weeks, and that the President's approval rating is at an all time high... and then you look at the world today and how wrong everyone was.

I like these women. They speak their minds. They sing well. They're funny and sarcastic. And they're all around good people. And they also have an attitude that's way more punk rock than country. That's what makes them so great.

And, if for no other reason, you should see this movie because Natalie actually says George Bush is a "dumb fuck" in one of the scenes. The audience cheered to thunderous applause in that moment. It was a brilliant moment. I shall remember it fondly.

And now, to make sure I do nothing else to help their career, I shall go listen to their newest album which resides on my computer's hard drive. (Again, I do not condone the illegal download of copyrighted music. I'd totally never do that.)


End Blog.

My Ass Has Been 302ed

Well, it's official. The girl who can't ever technically be my psychologist because we're best friends has finally decided that it's time for me to be involuntarily committed into an institution. We all knew it would happen sooner or later, but I never thought it'd be for this reason.

In fact, I will let her use her own words in explanation - from an email I received this evening:

"I just saw a picture of you on your blog. You need to eat. I could 302 your tiny ass, you know! Go eat. Anything. Just eat."

Just so you know, I am not underweight just because I currently weigh less than I did when I lived with you and you somehow made me eat every three hours, even if I wasn't hungry. I also fit back into the pants that I popped the buttons off of senior year. Remember those? I still have them. I can even put things in the pockets of those pants, like I could when I bought them.

But, let this be a lesson to you, J. If you don't live with me (like you should), then I return to my former (normal) weight. So, in short, I blame you for my skinny ass.

Sue me, I'm a social eater. Otherwise, food isn't as interesting as most of the world seems to think it is.

End Blog.

Chicago Pictures

Hey, look, I finally got around to developing my pictures from Chicago!

The good news is the camera works and I didn't carry it around for nothing.

So, here are a few of the good ones. Plus, four photos in a series merged together to show a panorama of the skyline from the Shedd Aquarium. (I didn't bother fixing the levels so it looks like one picture. It's late and I don't want to play in photoshop right now.)



Chicago skyline from the south.


I believe aliens will someday emerge from this and destroy the world.


This is a picture of me taking a picture of my reflection in the giant kidney bean seen above.


Oh, those wacky Christians. They just had to go protest at the Gay Games.


Sunset from Navy Pier.


Ferris wheel and carousel on the pier.

There are more. I'm not sure how ambitious I'll be in scanning them in. These will have to entertain you for now.

End Blog.

The Closer Rant

I'm ranting. If you don't want to hear me complain, you don't have to read this one. =) You're welcome for the warning. That's how much I love you.


Okay, I watched the TNT original for the first time tonight. I don't know why I bother watching law enforcement shows. They all piss me off beyond belief.

I would never, ever, ever... ever want to work with Kyra Sedgwick. Man, I hate her character. She's arrogant and she doesn't follow rules. She'd be a nightmare in court. And her accent isn't even cute. There's something not right about the southern drawl she's got going on. And maybe it's because I only know the South Carolina accents and not the Atlanta, Georgia ones... but, all around, quite possibly one of the most annoying shows ever made. (At least for me.)

I've seen one episode, so I only have a few things to complain about. They are the following:

1. If you have a triple homicide, Detectives are not going to be collecting evidence. That's why you have CSIs.

2. To my knowledge, no one uses the term "ballistics" to refer to the firearms and toolmarks section. Ballistics deal with the motion, behavior, and effects of projectiles in the air. The terms are not interchangable.

3. Brenda (Kyra Sedgwick's character) was wearing the worst shade of lipstick I have ever seen. Oh, my eyes!! And she even reapplied it, I think just to piss me off.

4. This should go without saying by now, but... I can't help it - they keep screwing it up. Evidence doesn't go in clear plastic bags. The only exceptions to this rule (at least in our department) are valuables like jewlery and money.

5. This show has a lot of interrogation in it. Now, I am not, nor will ever be in that portion of the system. But, I do know that as soon as people ask for a lawyer, all questioning must stop. Immediately. In addition to that, I didn't see anyone say anything about a Miranda waiver. Which wouldn't really bother me if we didn't follow a guy into the interview room and just start askin' him questions. Even if they were told of their rights when they were arrested, I'm pretty sure policy would have them sign a form once faced with officers in a small room. Also, you need a warrant or signed consent for a suspect's buccal swab. It's not perishable evidence like hair standards and fingernail scrapings.

I know that you're sick of me nit-picking entertainment. I apologize. But, legitimately, you have to at least give me the lipstick one. I mean, it was horrible.

I know you're asking why I don't just turn the channel. I'll tell you why. I keep thinking that it'll get better. And then I'm too invested to not see what happens, however far-fetched the scenario turns out to be. No matter the giant leaps in logic and serendipitous moments, I feel the need to watch until the show is over.

I guess I need closure. But, I do not need The Closer. No, this I can do without. Please do not let me get to the point where I get involved with a TV police drama. I need those shows somehow blocked from my television. They just annoy me.

It's sad, really. I mean, I'm sure that doctors can't watch ER or Grey's Anatomy because they can't seperate the story from the setting, and I'm the same way with police shows. Which, I'm not even a police officer. I can only imagine what they think of these shows if I have such a problem watching them.

And while we're almost sort of on the subject...

Criminal Justice and Criminology have very little to do with Forensic Science.

Just so you know.

Because I think too many people out there had no idea until they read that sentence. One of them has to do with science and scientific theory. The other has a whole lot to do with... well, I'm not really sure. I imagine psychology, law, sociology, judicial process, and law enforcement... but, little hard science.

Anyway... I bring this up because I'm sick of seeing commercials on TV telling you about how you can major in Criminal Justice because it's trendy and they want to associate it with CSI. I'm sure that people are confusing the two. They are not the same.

Okay... I think I'm done ranting. Sorry for that.

End Blog.

The Rest Is Silence

So, I know Death Cab For Cutie has been around for a while - as I've had their music downloaded on my computer for some time - but I finally thought I'd peruse the collection of "new downloads" I have on my computer from well over the past six months and finally listen to them. (I'm nowhere close to getting through all of it yet.)

Surprisingly, the two songs I can't seem to get enough of right now both received a decent amount of radio play, I just didn't realize they were by the same band. And my favorite parts of the songs just so happen to be the chorus. Which never happens - So, these people must be good.

The two songs I'm currently obsessed with (nearly as much as I was in love with Howie Day's Collide) are:

Crooked Teeth

(I'm a war of head versus heart,
And it's always this way.
My head is weak, my heart always speaks,
Before I know what it will say.

And you can't find nothing at all,
If there was nothing there all along.
No, you can't find nothing at all,
If there was nothing there all along.)

I like to sing that last part at work when I'm looking at evidence to find things. Yes, I know I'm a complete dork.


Song 2:
I Will Follow You Into the Dark

(If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark)

It's such a depressing song, but every time I hear it, it really impresses me. It's so unbelievably pretty.

I also like The Fray right now. And KT Tunstall's song Black Horse and the Cherry Tree. Also, Panic! At the Disco has a catchy tune (I Write Sins Not Tragedies) that reminds me of Gibberish by Spock's Beard. And I like Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol. By the way... What has happened to titling songs recently? They're never what you expect them to be! All I have to say is thank goodness for Google or I'd never find anything.

I have no idea how new these songs are. I have a feeling that Kansas City might be a bit slow on getting new music, although not as slow as the two year radio gap that happens in Pennsylvania.

But, should you not know any of these songs, I suggest getting them. That is, unless you have a totally different taste in music - in which case, disregard this whole post. (Except for that old Spock's Beard song. No one knows them, but that song is the coolest thing, ever. No, really... ever.)

End Blog.

Snakes on a Plane

"I am guaranteeing that Snakes on a Plane will win best movie next year. Does not matter what else is coming out. The new James Bond... no snakes in that! Ocean's 13... where my snakes at? Shrek the Third... green, but not a snake. No movie shall triumph over Snakes on a Plane. Unless I happen to feel like making a movie called Mo' Motha-fuckin' Snakes on Mo' Motha-fuckin' Planes." ~Samuel L Jackson

Yes, we all bought into the internet hype and Sam Jackson's cocky attitude and are going to see this flick tonight. There will be an after party. Good times will be had by all.

Sam guaranteed it.

(I still can't believe Julianna Margulies is in this movie. I think she might be a flight attendant.)


End Blog.

Lord of the Flies

So, between me and my coworker... today we got pissed off at the flies and brought their reign of terror to an end. We killed at least 27 flies between us today.

They were the loudest, slowest, laziest flies, EVER. And pretty shiny green. Ooo... shiny.

Once again we have a no fly zone in the trace lab.


Although, today when my boss asked if they were annoying me, my response was, "No, of course not. Work's exactly like a picnic today." I love that he hasn't fired me yet.

End Blog.

The Flies! The Flies!

One of my coworkers had been on vacation all last week and had evidence sitting at her bench the entire time she was gone. She claimed that she had gotten everything into the freezer that need to be there... but today when she opened up one of her bags, like 25 flies all escaped and are currently flying around the trace lab.

So, obviously everything that needed to be in the freezer didn't make it there and the little maggots inside grew up and took to the skies when finally freed of their paper bag prison. So, flies are buzzing around us now as we work. I'm less annoyed than others and find it rather humorous.

But, again... not something you'll ever see on CSI. I really have no idea why they haven't contacted me about writing an episode yet. (Other than the fact that I'd turn it into an office comedy.)

I mean, c'mon, think about it. It would be great. Greg would superglue himself to something and Grissom would look at him disapprovingly. Then Sarah would open an evidence bag and a whole bunch of flies would escape into the lab and Grissom would look at her disapprovingly. Then she'd totally blame it on Nick and he'd swear it wasn't his fault. Later we'd see Katherine through the glass with a flyswatter as Grissom watches her disapprovingly. (It'll be great silent, physical comedy. Marg could pull it off.) I haven't worked out all the bits yet, but, I'm telling you... it'd be the best episode, ever. The funny X-Files were always the best, too.

Hey, speaking of the X-Files, two of our automated systems in DNA are named Scully and Mulder. The other two are named Watson and Crick. And they are actually referred to by these names. So... see! It's not weird that I've named my computer Fred and my car Henry.

Oh!
More work related news:

I have to be there at 0700 tomorrow for lab-wide training on ferrotrace. (It detects iron on hands and gloves so you can see if someone was holding a metal object. They used it in Vietnam to see if people were previously holding grenades to determine if they were friendly or not.) Boo. Double boo. That means I have to wake up an hour earlier than normal! Me loves my sleepy.

This is what I look like when I'm not pleased. (You know, if you could see me.)

Huh, this turned out way more random and incoherent than planned. Oh well. Deal.

End Blog.

At Worst, I Feel Bad For A While...

This here is Lily Allen. She's from Britain.

It's my new goal in life to make her big here in the US. Because I find her songs sorta "poppy" but at the same time hilarious. She has one about her brother smoking pot. And one about guys trying to pick her up at a bar and all the excuses she uses. And well, this one, above - called Smile. (Ahem... I do not condone the illegal downloading of music.)

I dare for this to not get stuck in your head all day. But, in a good way. Not in a Justin Timberlake way.

End Blog.

Foxy Lady

Saint Exupery's The Little Prince Quiz

You are the fox.
Take this quiz!

You can read this story here. (The fox is in Chapter 21. It's my favorite chapter of all.)

Surprisingly, I took the quiz before reading it... and man... I totally agree with this test 100%. The fox and I share the same philosophies.

Tame Me.


I highly recommend this story if you have the time to read it. I wish it hadn't taken me 25 years to do so.

End Blog.

Phoenix Rising

So, I got a call today while at work from the Phoenix Police asking me if I was still interested in the Forensic Scientist job I applied for back in October of 2005. I told them that, unfortunately, no, I was no longer interested. After getting off the phone and telling a coworker about it, we decided that my response should have been...

"Depends. I have six months of training under my belt now. If you can offer me well over what I'm currently making, I might be interested... but, I'll have to call you back. I'm in the middle of working a rape case."

Not that I'd leave. For several reasons:

1. I like my job and the fact that I get to do biological screening as a trace examiner. Not many departments are set up like that.
2. I really like the people I work with.
3. I totally don't want to move for many, many years. Moving's hard work. (Although, I'm still not completely unpacked, so moving now would probably be the best time.)
4. I don't know anyone in Phoenix. Not that I know many people here... but the ones I do know, I like a bunch, so it's a plus to the location.

You know, if they would have flown me out there, I would've gone on the interview for a nice little vacation. I've never been to Arizona.

Anyway, I found it humorous that 10 months later, I'm finally being called to set up an interview. And I thought KC took forever.

Oh! We're starting to interview for an opening in our department for a trace contract position. My boss told me today that if I wanted to, I could sit in on some of the interviews because he'd really like my opinion. How cool is that?

I mean, I think I had five people sitting in on my interview. It was intimidating as hell. I can't wait to do that to someone else! Woo!

Still love my job. In case you were wondering.

End Blog.

Biggest Geek, Ever

I totally brought home two Science and a Discover magazine from work today. I never have time to read them there. And there's a whole thing about NASA going to the moon, and an article about stem cell therapy, and a whole 5 pages about cilia! Also, I've learned that the US is designing nuclear warheads again because there's fear that our current stockpile of 10,000 might be reaching their "expiration date". Uh huh... I believe that.

Oh, and Riya.com! Wow, like, check it out. I'm not even sure what to say about it, other than if the government used this technology people would be up in arms about Big Brother watching. Internet stalking has reached an all new level. Except, these people are willingly volunteering their information onto the internet, almost a form of exhibitionism. People enthusiastically participating in "Big Brotherism" for entertainment. But no... Bush isn't allowed to wiretap and screen for terrorism... that's an invasion of our privacy. I love the apparent paradox. This sight is really quite amazing - and also not fully functional - yet. But I can bet it's going to be very big.

But... yeah, anyway... I'm a big geek. I'd also like to point out that the only forensic related item in any of these publications was an ad for CSI: Miami. Isn't that completely insane? The only other ads were for the United States Mint, Oreck vacuums, some motivational speaker dude, a new scientific breakthrough in weight loss (completely the wrong audience, I think), an investing firm, and videos that claim you can have better sex for a lifetime. The TV ad seemed so out of place.

Anyway, I got off track here...

None of this reading will further educate me for my job. This is why I brought them home to read them - since I couldn't justify doing it at work. But the fact that I really really want to read them while I'm not getting paid for it... that's the part that makes me a super geek.

But, hey... if you ever want to have a conversation about cilia... I'm your girl.

End Blog.

Random Quiziness

Which Of The Seven Deadly Sins Are You?

You are the third deadly sin: Lust. Lust is said to be a sin of the flesh, craving touch. This "sin of the flesh" is said to lead to "uncleanliness". Also associated with fury and lechery.
Your Animal: The Goat.
Your opposite: Chastity.
Your element: Fire.


Take this quiz!

This picture totally reminds me of the book Red Dragon.

Soooo... the quiz came up with lust. Interesting, no? I mean, okay, I knew it wouldn't be gluttony... but, c'mon, if I'm any deadly sin, wouldn't you think I'd be sloth? (Not that the questions have ANYTHING to do with the actual outcome of this quiz. But, you see, this is me being boring, and sitting in front of my computer because I'm too lazy to move and do something interesting.)

Plus, like, my mom reads this. So, I've never lusted after anyone. Ever. *Waves to Mom* Hi!


End Blog.

Almost More Annoying Than Hey Ya

Okay, so kill me, I hate Outkast's song Hey Ya. (Hate with unbridled fury!) Rightfully so, methinks. But, I gotta tell ya, Justin Timberlake's Sexyback is running a frighteningly close second on the list of Songs that I Despise.

Firstly, he totally sounds like a woman. I don't know what kind of weird mixing process it went though, but, I hate it. And that's not all… it just so happens to be one of the most repetitive and irritating songs ever recorded. More reason for hate. I'd also like to kill the person yelling "Yeah!" in the background. Hate hate hate. Oh, and I can't understand the words in the chorus - the "Go head be gone with it" part. (I looked it up.) Yeah. Did you know that's what he was saying? Does that actually make any sense?

Ugh. Hate. Worst. Song. Ever. And the stupid radio won't stop playing it. Double ugh.

End Blog.

Another Movie I'll Never Have To Watch Again

Right along side of Million Dollar Baby… we have World Trade Center. Two movies that you should see once and only once.

There were 11 separate occasions where I had tears streaming down my face. Now, I know this wouldn't be true of the average person. I think the average might be three. Maybe four. But, well, me and crying are like the bestest of pals, so… eleven. And I say separate because there were tears, they stopped, and then there were more. And when I say tears, I mean more than one – and not just getting all misty eyed because then we're talking more.

Now that I've made that statement… probably at least half (maybe more) were because of good things. I was like, smiling and laughing and crying all at the same time. So – way better than Million Dollar Baby tears (by far), if we're keeping track of emotions.

It was a good movie. Not the best movie, but worth seeing. And it doesn't need to be on the big screen, you can rent this one. The movie wasn't about the effects and the most spectacular scenes involving the buildings falling are the ones we all saw that day on TV. Everyone in the movie is doing exactly what we all did – they're glued to the set - and you see a lot of grainy TVs.

I'd like to take this moment to say that I loved the Marine. And if you know any Marines, you will love the Marine too. He also has the best line in the movie.

Maggie Gyllenhaal looked a whole lot like Rachel Ray in this movie. I'm not sure why, but I had that thought twice throughout the film's run so it must be true. Maria Bello looked way older than I thought she was, but as it turns out, she's 39. Who knew? Nick Cage was, indeed, covered in ruble most of the movie. So many times I wished I could brush the dust and dirt caked on his face away for him. So, turns out, he wasn't as annoying as I imagined he would be and I actually cared about him. But Michael Peña was the star of this movie. He was really brilliant. I see many good things for him in the future. (PS – If you don't know him, he was also in Million Dollar Baby and Crash. So me saying that I see many good things for him… well, no shit, right? He's freakin' awesome. I'm by no means insightful in pointing out his wonderfulness, but I think that more people should recognize it. RECOGNIZE!)

So, in sum… see it once, cry a bunch, swoon over Michael Peña's acting abilities, and appreciate The Marines, the fire department, and the police for what they do. And always remember to tell those you love that you do indeed love them, even if you're sure they already know.

End Blog.

Carnie Wilson

We all know her. We all love her. (Okay, maybe you don't, but I have no complaints.) But, like, randomly... I was thinking...

That the hell kind of name is Carnie?

It evokes images of circus freaks and carnivores. I think that beach boy musta fried his brain in the sun too long to name his daughter that.

Is it a nickname? What could it possibly be short for? Why am I so remarkably obsessed with it? But most importantly, why haven't I ever thought to ask this question before?

Troublesome.

End Blog.

My EW Rant

Awesome. My Entertainment Weekly arrived an entire week late. And, on top of that, the newst one still hasn't come by mail. I still don't know what the new releases are this week, but I now have a good idea of what I missed last week. It's actually quite sad how much of my life revolves around the cinema anymore. (I thought I might sound a little bit less sad if I used the word cinema. I think that completely backfired, don't you?)

Yes, my life's so uneventful that I actually care about this. You know, I have no idea "What to Watch" on TV. Not that I've been watching much TV anyway. (We're not counting the 8 hours of Gilmore Girls yesterday. But seriously, without guidance I will somehow find the only marathon on air.)

I also like to know the new DVD releases so that I can update my Blockbuster queue. (Lisa Kudrow's critically acclaimed HBO show The Comeback is finally out. I'll let you know if it's worth it.)

I will say that was one good thing about my mail carrier in DC. I dunno why the mail system worked so much better there, but every single Friday, without fail, my EW was in my mailbox. Friday. The day when you want it most. And sadly, at that point in my life, I didn't even have the money to go to the movies... and forget about a drink or twizzlers.

Stupid EW.

End Blog.

PS - I wanna see World Trade Center (because of Maggie Gyllenhaal and Maria Bello (did you know she was from Norristown, PA?)) which is releasing on Wednesday. Who wantsta go with me? C'mon! You know you want to...

08.07.06

I wanted to just point out that the date today is kinda cool, no?

And that it was Hershey's birthday. She was fun and loveable dog that was well liked and is missed. Oh, guess who doesn't have a dog anymore.

That's right. Me.

Just making sure we all remembered that.

End Blog.

The Next Eight Hours

Someone help!

I've stumbled upon a Gilmore Girls Marathon on ABC Family and without your help, for the next 8 hours I will be watching this show. Sadly, I fear, I've probably seen most of these episodes.

Sigh. I guess my day's been planned by TV programmers once again. Damn you weekend marathons. Damn you.

End Blog.

Things I've Been Meaning to Blog About

Again, in summarized list form because, once again, I am lazy.

1. I know you're wondering, and have been for a long time, why I never commented on the Dr Pepper logo change. Well, here you go: Because I really love it. It's classy, it's advertising its 23 flavors, and it's got a spiffy "Est. 1885". And it's still the right color and stuff. So, in summary, that maroon/red is probably my favorite color, I like that they're the oldest soda company in America and finally making it known, and no, prune is NOT one of the 23 flavors. Glad that's all out of the way.

2. I have currently made more money in the past 5 months than I made in all of last year. I know because I did my taxes last year and couldn't believe that I was still alive making so little. I've also built my savings back up to where it used to be. This also means that since I have more money, I'm spending more money. I don't see this as a bad thing though. I'm not living like a pauper anymore. I bought new clothes. I eat out often and I've seen every movie I wanted to in the theaters. Man, I missed that so much. Movies rock.

3. I mentioned weighing 116 in the previous blog. The Big Mac and the random cakes that have been brought into work the past two days have not helped. Even at night (when I traditionally weigh more) with all my clothes and shoes on, I weigh 119. I don't know how this happened. I don't work out. I've kinda had the urge to look in on my fitness room at the apartment complex, but I haven't actually done it. (Remember, lazy.) I think the problem lies in the temperature outside. When it's super hot out I don't really have interest in eating. Does that happen to anyone else? I know I'm not eating right – or enough – or something. I just have no desire to fix the situation. Someone come force feed me if you someday read on here that I only weigh 105. Because then I'm probably in trouble. Though, I'm not fretting yet at 116. All my clothes still fit the same.

4. Ah, this one's big. This happened while I was in Chicago and never got to fully rant about this topic. So, let's dive in. I hate the president. He vetoed stem cell research because it's immoral. That man makes me so angry.

Firstly, I don't really like that we're using the term "embryonic stem cell research". Whatever you may think, what they are using for this research is a blastocyst. It's a hollow ball of about 150 undifferentiated cells – which is the whole point of the damn research. There is no brain or heart or spleen or, well, anything yet. It's a bunch of fricken cells that are no more than 4-5 days old. Embryos and fetuses have fundamental tissues and organs. We are NOT killing babies – but by NOT doing this research, we are killing people.

Scientists can get these cells to proliferate for a year or more in the laboratory without differentiating. Refresh my memory, Mr. Bush… how long does it take to make a baby? This research is not hurting human life – it's helping it. The person who is being irresponsibly immoral here is you. That's right. You. Not the scientists. Because you're preventing those with life threatening illnesses from getting a treatment that could save them pain, suffering, and even death.

You have ignored 72% of the American people, bi-partisan majorities in both houses of Congress and our nation's leading scientists. You have dashed the hope of millions of Americans suffering from Parkinson's, Alzheimer's, Multiple Sclerosis, cancer and diabetes.

Get this: In a recent study, scientists directed mouse embryonic stem cells to differentiate into specific neurons by introducing a particular gene. When transplanted into the brains of a rat model of Parkinson's, these stem cell-derived neurons reinnervated the brains of the rat Parkinson model, released dopamine in the brain, and improved overall motor function.

There is ABSOLUTELY NO REASON why we haven't cured this disease. So, thank you Mr. President. For everything.

It kinda makes me think that all the Secret Service folks on Bush's detail really ought to ALL go for Starbucks at the EXACT same time every single day so some hero with a rifle can load up and take potshots. Not that I want Cheney taking over the reigns. How many more years of this do we have?

The next candidate for president should run on a platform supporting this research. They should get 72% of the vote. It all makes me very angry.

I get the value of life, really, I do. My problem is that I value those who have been living in the world more than a few cells that could maybe someday become a person. The whole situation really makes me want to donate my eggs to some stem cell research company. Lord knows I don't want kids of my own.

5. I'm calming down. That went on entirely longer than I intended. Next topic: Middle America. What does that term really mean? And I'm not talking about geographically speaking – not El Salvador and Guatemala and stuff, and not even the Midwest of the US… but, like… when people in politics refer to Middle America, what does that mean? People who are neither right nor left in the political climate? To me the term has a bad connotation and I don't even know why I have this weird prejudice if I don't really know what it means. I feel like I associate Middle America with those in the Bible Belt. Which would explain my feelings towards them, I suppose. But like, someone should correct me on this. Middle America = Bible Thumpers. (I admit I'm quite ignorant sometimes.)

6. I can no longer remember anything else I was going to talk about. So, I think I'll go watch my new Blockbuster DVD - Sarah Silverman: Jesus is Magic. Maybe, if you're lucky, I'll let you know how it was, but my guess is most likely Magical!

End Blog.

Weight Loss

When I got up this morning and headed for the shower, I decided I'd weigh myself on the way. The scale told me I weighed 116 pounds for the third day in a row.

Today I had a Big Mac and fries for lunch.

End Blog.