Saturday, February 23, 2008

The Free Go

You may not know this about me, but I'm a seriously awful bowler. I remember bowling with my parents when I was much younger - probably between the ages of 7-10 or so, and I have to tell you, I was much better at it then. And we weren't even using the magic bumpers or anything.

Since then, I have lost all bowling talent. And that's why I invented the "Free Go". Here's how it works:

Make sure you get two balls to play this game. One must be really light (think 6 pounds) and then something else that looks like you actually know how to play (an 8 or 9 pound ball usually works for little weakling girls like me). Now, throw the light ball down the lane, but don't give it too much power. It'll knock over a few pins (if you're lucky!). Usually this will not reset the mechanism that re-racks your pins. Don't ask why, it's a big mystery. I think if the computer likes you, you get to go again. So, while your pins are rolling about on the lane, take the other heavier ball and toss it down the lane as well. You'll likely pick up a few more pins... and if not, the heavier ball will register whatever it is that resets the pins.

VoilĂ ! The Free Go.

Now both of your balls will be returned to you and you can try this again. The key is to get some pins down on your first light-ball turn, because if you get a gutter ball, the machine will reset itself. The second key is to not push the reset button... or let anyone else near the reset button who would push it for you, thinking that they are being helpful... or trying to prevent you from cheating.

Listen up. The Free Go is NOT cheating. It's a FREE turn given to you by the all knowing bowling gods. It would be wrong to upset them. It's totally cool to throw another ball down the lane if they don't reset your pins. They want you to. It's just that most people only have one ball... so they push the button to get their ball back and go again. This is silly and unnecessary. Get two balls.

It doesn't work every time. It's an art that must be mastered. I am very good at it. We all have talents.

With this technique, my score nearly broke 100. I would have done it too, if it wasn't for frame nine where I got two gutter balls.

Look at that score! (N would be me.) One of the spares was a two ball spare (a "real" one), the other was a four ball spare, and that strike? It was a two ball strike. I was the second best player that game.

...I also got the most Free Gos. Think how you could improve your game!

Also - Yes, I do think that you could throw MORE than two balls down the lane in the event that the second ball also does not register the reset of pins. However, I have no idea how many pins and balls it can handle and I get nervous of putting three down there at a time. But, by all means, check it out. I'm sure that anyone can be a great bowler if they try hard enough.

End Blog.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Excuse Me, But There is a Monster on Your Pencil

"I have captured this monster and skewered its head for you, Miss."

"It will cause you no more harm, Fair Lady."

In case you can't tell what she's looking at in this photo - it's this finger puppet monster. (Grrr... Arrrgggg) Never fear, I am now safe from its tyranny.

Also, this is the same spot Sad Remy was looking at me from in the picture below. It's a popular spot.

End Blog.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Random Puppy Pictures!

Remy being antisocial. She never lays on the floor, much less on the floor under the table, away from people. I wonder if our guests are not wearing out their welcome in her mind?

Sad Remy looking over the back of the love seat towards me, sitting at my desk.

Someone chewing the tag off of a squirrel!

The tan dogs, chillin' on the love seat. I'm not sure how much love there is though... Rem seems on edge. She never put her head down to rest. So unlike my lazy dog.

Yay, random drive-by dog pictures!

End Blog.

Nonessential Personnel

I woke up to a snow/sleet/freezing rain mess this morning. I didn't want to drive into work, but I'm a good employee, so off I went. I spun the tires a few times and had to drop the Escape down into a lower gear twice, but I made it safe and sound.

However, about 10 minutes into my commute, I saw this on 35 south right after the entrance ramp from 210 west.

It's an eighteen wheeler on its side with an SUV resting against a set of its tires... facing the wrong way. I'm not quite sure how it happened, but EVERYONE slowed down to look at it. I even had enough time to take this wonderful photo. Camera phones are spiffy.

After arriving at work, they sent us home five hours later. All department members deemed "Nonessential Personnel" were allowed to leave. (That's me.) Sweet! So, I went home after lunch.

On the way, I was prepared. I figured there wasn't much chance of getting that JB Hunt truck off of the road in five hours. I was right. On the way home traffic slowed again, and to my left, they were trying to hoist the truck back to its wheels. I didn't get a really good look at it because traffic was still moving a bit and I was blindly snapping pictures in the direction of the truck. Here's what I got:

The red truck is the one trying to right the fallen JB Hunt truck.

There's the truck still resting on its side.

And here's the side of the truck as I passed. You can see the chains wrapped around the middle of the trailer.

Anyway, this was my entertainment for the day. I got home slightly before 2pm and let all the dogs outside. Remy's a much bigger wuss about the cold and snow than our visitors are, but she wanted to play with them a lot more than they wanted to play with her.

You know, even though this weather got me out of work early, I am still really sick of it. I'd really enjoy it if we could get some warmth soon. I'm super tired of the 19 degree weather. I mean, I still haven't taken down my Christmas lights because it's been just too damn cold to do it.

I'm sure I should probably do something productive with my newfound time off, but I think I'm going to take a nap. Because I can. And I'm that lazy. And it's freakin' freezing outside and too crappy to really go anywhere.

So... Happy snowy Thursday, everyone.

End Blog.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008


I'm dogsitting for a coworker friend of mine. I have two of her three dogs here because I guess she felt like she couldn't pawn all three of them off on me at the same time. It's a good thing. I already think that three dogs in my house is a few too many. But that's mostly because I still haven't gotten that pesky back yard all fenced in.

I guess that doesn't really sound fair. Two of the dogs are very good. One of those two dogs is mine. And the third? Well, she's only six months old, so she has an excuse for her absolute craziness.

Yep. That's the back of the couch. I swear, she thinks she's a cat.

I caught her standing on top of my end table, too, but didn't take a picture of it before yelling at her to get down. The yelling seemed more important at the time, although now I wish I had that picture.

I'm sure she's going to get into all sorts of other shenanigans while she's here. Remy's already trying to get her to play, but she's still a bit intimidated by her size. I'm sure that won't last too long, though.

Also, she tried to kill elephant by shaking him to death. It was quite hilarious. Little dogs are SO different from the kind I'm used to.

Let's hope elephant survives.

End Blog.

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Super Tuesday

I did my part! Yay democracy!

Thank you 19th Amendment!

Why's the right to vote called suffrage, anyway? Because the government makes you suffer through the election process for a year?

End Blog.

Monday, February 04, 2008

Missouri Bellwether

So, I learned an interesting thing now that I'm living in Missouri: They have voted for the president who won the office every year since 1904, except in 1956. They call Missouri the Bellwether for the nation because it has a 96% accuracy in voting for the next president.

I have hope that the state will go democratic this year, as it did in the 2006 Senate race when Claire McCaskill won. It was a really close race and we stayed up watching CNN and FOXNews probably too late to be completely functional at work the next day.

But, tomorrow, it's just the primaries, so we shall see how that goes. I'll be voting after work. And this year, if the bellwether is off, we can blame me moving here! Lord knows my vote did nothing in Virginia. At least I'll feel like I'm making a difference in Missouri.

End Blog.

Sunday, February 03, 2008

Superbowl XLII Campions

Oh man, I thought I was going to have a heart attack several times during this game. Everyone thought it would be high scoring. Everyone thought the Giants would lose. Well, everyone was really wrong.

But there were lots of times that Remy just couldn't watch. It was too stressful. She had to pull her hat down over her eyes.

Like, the whole fourth quarter.

I mostly screamed, "Eli! Throw the ball!" And I was so happy that Plaxico got that touchdown pass. He totally deserved to score.

And we won! Today was an awesome day. The only thing that's gone wrong in February so far was that damn groundhog seeing his shadow. Let's hope I feel the same after the Super Tuesday elections.


End Blog.