Friday, September 29, 2006

Thieving Bastards

Okay, so I know you're not really going to believe this... but I was robbed today.

I came home from work and a pillow I hardly really use was sitting on my chair. My back door was unlocked (which, no way, I LOCKED it after the car incident!) and the screen to my bedroom window was out. That window was also unlocked. I'm missing a large jar that I threw all my silver coins into... and that's it. It used to sit right in front of that window. So, if you took the screen out and could open the window, you could grab it easily. But, my shades have always been drawn and you can't even see into my apartment from the outside.

I haven't discovered anything else missing, but that doesn't mean I'm not missing anything. I suppose I don't own anything truly valuable. And pretty much everything else looks like it hasn't been touched. Just the missing coins and that random pillow that was moved.

I don't care that I lost the money, but I want my freaking jar back! It's not even a jar. It's an old Snapple bottle of "Rain". Where I was saving my money for a raining day.

Not to worry, everything has been locked back up and the screen's been replaced. But... you know, this is how this shit starts. Petty thievery, peeping... rape and murder...

I can't believe nothing else is missing. But I know for sure it was taken. I mean, the screen was out.

I feel like I should have done something other than touch the screen to put it away. Like print the damn thing or something. I mean, jesus, I'm a freakin criminalist! I shouldn't stand for this. But I've already screwed up my crime scene. Because it was a jar of mostly nickle and dimes. There were a few quarters, but they were only ones I've collected since I've been here, as quarters were a commodity and used to go directly towards laundry.

I wonder how much it amounted to. Probably not even 30 bucks.

I should probably report this to someone though, no? It makes me a little uneasy. Especially since my door was previously unlocked for an unknown length of time. They probably come in my apartment and chill everyday.

You know, come to think of it, I did have to sign back into to my IM when I returned home today. Someone's taking advantage of my internet. Maybe they downloaded some free porn. Wouldn't that just be great?

I'm totally going to be a rape/homicide and my own department probably won't even be able to work it because they know me.

Excuse me while I go about booby-trapping my apartment...

End Blog.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Survivor: Racism Lives!

Okay, so I'm going to try to watch Survivor this season and Blog about it, by request (much like the US Olympic Curling team did back in February). This is difficult for me because it comes on at 7:00pm and I'm still not used to Central time, even though I've been here for several months. So… no guarantees, but I shall try. Although, I promise no entertainment whatsoever. You shall take what I give you.

I'm starting tonight with, I think, episode two, but I could be wrong. Here's what I missed so far according to the recap: There are four tribes named insanely stupid things which are separated by "ethnicity". I shall call them Whities, Asians, Hispanics, and Blacks, as I'm sure they want me to - Otherwise they wouldn't have given me those ridiculous names to try to remember. One team has already thrown a challenge in order to kick off one of their members (Billy, the dude in love at first sight) and some insanely muscle bound dude named Yul was sent to Exile Island. If this was a contest on who has the best abs, he's already won. But, it's not... so he got an immunity thingie and I expect he'll be smart in using it to his advantage.

So, here we go. The episodes starts...

With all the hype of separating these tribes by race, I'm currently pissed off. It's the second episode and they've already integrated them! I mean, c'mon. If you're going to do something, commit to it, damnit! I mean, if you're going to toy with racism and stereotypes, let's go all the way, man!

Pussies. I'm so disappointed. I mean, I wanted to see the Asian engineers build their own ship and sail off the island. What's that you say? Not really how the show works? Siiiigh. Fine, now that television isn't even doing segregation right, let's move on.

Oh, and by the by… White girls can't use the phrase "The sister on the end" when referring to black women. I think it's against the unwritten rules somewhere. I'm surprised there wasn't a huge cat fight right there in the sand. I mean, I fully expected this show to be just like Jerry Springer. Obviously I'm in for heavy disappointments.

So now they're all together and talking about how they're a group and none of them see color… bullshit. Since they were all just separated by race you know that they're all still thinking about it and the friendships they originally made. Especially since people are making comments like "I think we can get into an alliance with some of the Asians" and "we understand each other because we have similar interests and backgrounds".

So, basically, they're all tainted with racial undertones for the remainder of the show, regardless of their adamant refusal that it's not happening. Okay… maybe this will be interesting. I like the denial - and the creative editing.

Moving forward, we find that the red team is split into Becky, Yul, Jonathan and Candice v. everybody else. I'm okay with this. It seems all the smart people have gravitated toward one another. Although the "everybody else" category is simply because they aren't showing those people enough that I know anything about them. Which means they must be dumb, right? Okay, maybe not dumb, but at least not charismatic.

Then the coolest thing happened. A guy got eaten by an octopus! Okay, not really, but that would have been really cool. Instead they caught an octopus and made a girl scream a girly scream by waving an octopus in her face. You know, 'cause that's what you do when you catch an octopus. But the screaming was really annoying. For that simple fact, she should be the next person kicked off the island.

And so comes the challenge... Which, I thought there would be more of, but apparently the show is more about the drama between people than the challenges - so I might be able to get into it after all, if I just pretend it's being aired on MTV. Hey, why are there not Survivor marathons? I probably would have started watching this show much sooner if I had stumbled upon one.

Anyway, blah blah challenge stuff… and the blue team wins because they have Rebecca, strong black woman! on their team. At least, that's what I believe.

And then Candice gets sent to Exile Island. She's voted there unanimously by the other team. But I don't know why. I feel I missed something important last week... or this week. I'm not that great at giving this my full attention.

So, we are forced back into the drama of the alliance of smart people trying to work the magic of the game. I like the four people who've formed this partnership so I'm rooting for them… and I'm worried that they aren't going to get the numbers they need and consequently Becky will be voted out. So, on with the persuasion of the weaker links.

Jonathan handles his race, Yul handles his. This thing is totally working out... no?

So Yul reasons with Cao Boi (who will henceforth be known as Cowboy) and wins him over with something that resembled logic. And Jonathan gains sainthood by talking to Jessica for more than five continuous minutes. That's Jessica "Roller Girl" (is that a job?) otherwise known as, "Like-why-the-hell-like-are-we-not-like-kicking-her-off-like-this-very-second?"

And they vote and everyone says that it's not personal, they're playing a game. How original…

And so Cecelia gets kicked off. I didn't even know her. I'm not sad. And I expect that the Whities and the Asians are going to make minorities of everyone else, but quick. I guess we shouldn't really be surprised, right?

I think this is one of those shows that slowly grows and gets better as people are removed. I really will try to stick around. This was somewhat entertaining.

End Blog.

Oh… PS – In case you were wondering (since they didn't actually figure it out in an hour for once), I'm with Sara Sidle on this one - Malibu Barbie was totally the killer on CSI tonight.


Basically, Blog has become my own little scrapbook. Deal with it.

Here's a news story from KMBC-TV 9 (CBS) on the case I covered:

( - there's a picture of her and video of this story at this link.)

KANSAS CITY, Mo. -- The body of a 22-year-old mother was found in the trunk of a car in the parking garage of Liberty Hospital Tuesday night.

Liberty police said they found Heather Robbins after receiving a telephone tip just after 9 p.m. The cause of death was not released, but investigators said they believe Robbins was killed at her home in Plattsburg.

Officials said surveillance video showed the car being dropped off in the parking garage, but it's not clear who was driving.

Police said the woman's boyfriend, Joseph Hill, 20, of Raymore, turned himself in and has been charged in the case. Officers said Hill told them that he had been in a fight with the victim.

The victim's father, Raymond Robbins, reported his daughter and her 9-month-old son missing from their home Tuesday evening.

Police said the infant was found with Hill. The child is safe and is in the custody of Social Services, officials said.

Raymond Robbins said he wants his grandson to know the good things about his mom.

"She always looked for the best in people," Raymond Robbins told KMBC's Chris Nagus. "I'll try to convey to him that his mother loved him and wanted the best for him."

Friends told KMBC's Peggy Breit that Robbins and Hill had a history of domestic violence.

Raymond Robbins said his daughter saw good things in Hill, and she convinced him to do the same.

"She could talk me into things, and that's the problem She talked me into letting Joe come back way too many times," he said.

The victim's father said Hill would often visit at the family's home.

"Jeckyl and Hyde. When I was here, he was happy-go-lucky good-natured. When I wasn't here, all hell broke loose," Raymond Robbins said.

He said he's distraught and filled with guilt over his daughter's death.

"Probably can never forgive myself for letting that happen," Raymond Robbins said.

He said he believes Hill is the person responsible for his daughter's death and he's hoping for a life sentence.

"I don't want him to come up for parole, and then say he deserves a second chance. Heather didn't get a second chance," Raymond Robbins said.

Hill is being held on $1 million bond.


And this is a less informative news article from the KC Star:

Body, of woman, 22, found in car at Liberty Hospital
The Kansas City Star

The body of a 22-year-old woman was found late Tuesday in the trunk of vehicle left in a parking garage at Liberty Hospital.

The woman’s identity has not been released because her family is still being notified. Authorities in Clinton County said she lived in rural Plattsburg and would not say how she died. Her death is being investigated as a homicide, said Corey Sloan, spokesman for the Northwest Missouri Major Investigation Squad. Investigators said the homicide occurred in Clinton County.

An autopsy was being performed today. A number of details surrounding the slaying are not being released because a possible suspect remains at large, Sloan said.

Relatives reported the woman and her 9-month-old son missing just after 6 p.m. Tuesday. Sloan said the sheriff’s department soon went to the woman’s residence in the 1400 block of S.W. Town and Country Lane in rural Plattsburg to look for the missing woman and her son.

Around 9:45 p.m., Clinton County dispatchers received a call from Liberty police who said they had information that there was a dead body inside the trunk of a vehicle at Liberty Hospital. Police soon found the body of a 22-year-old woman inside the vehicle, and she was later identified as the missing woman, Sloan said.

Sloan said authorities did not know how Liberty police received information that the body was in the car at the hospital. The vehicle belonged to a relative of the deceased woman, he said.

The 9-month-old boy was later found unharmed with a 20-year-old male acquaintance. Investigators have identified the man as a person of interest but did not immediately know his relationship to the woman or the child. The man was taken into custody by Cass County authorities.

The boy was later placed in protective custody. Investigators have not found out how the man and the child ended up in Cass County. Sloan also said they did not know whether the man was arrested or turned himself into authorities.

End Blog.

We're Fricken Geniuses! Wait... Geni?

I just got home from Trivia Night up at O'Dowd's in Zona Rosa. The people I associate with are geniuses. No lie. I can't tell you how much I like smart people and how they are in such short supply.

Apparently as a whole we really know a ton of random movie, music, and television facts. Even the most obscure things. I mean, can you name the theme to Air Wolf in one note? Do you even know that Air Wolf was a television show? What about the first names of both Brooks and Dunn? Or the movie that featured the song Relax? How about the TV show featuring a guy named Hyden Fox? Yeah, we were the only people in the bar that nailed that one down. Alone, I would have never been able to dominate this game, but the team... let's just say five heads are better than one.

This is the second time we've stumbled upon a trivia night and kicked everyone's asses – we won by 155 points. So, I now have a pretty sweet looking Warsteiner mug and the joy of hearing the announcer say that our team won. Which was really the whole point of trying to win anyway. We weren't in it for the prizes.

Team name? Mike Hawk's Great Adventure.

Say it out loud, you'll get it. It's the only reason we wanted to win.

End Blog.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

CSI: Liberty, MO

I got called out on scene last night at midnight. I hadn't been to bed yet, which means I ended up going out and working the scene until about 0720 hours, and then starting my normal work day. As it turns out, I'm pretty useless after I've been awake for 30 hours, so I decided to go home and get some sleep at lunchtime.

I'm happy for the work and the experience, but this was a sad situation. In this job I'm often reminded of how the world is not as great as I'd like it to be.

From the Kansas City Star:

Raymore man charged with killing Plattsburg woman found in trunk

Associated Press

Prosecutors have charged a Raymore man with the murder of a 22-year-old Plattsburg mother whose body was found in the trunk of a car in a Liberty hospital parking lot, law enforcement officials said Wednesday.

Joseph L. Hill, 20, is charged in Clinton County with second-degree murder and armed criminal action in the death of Heather J. Robbins, said Corey Sloan, a spokesman for the Northwest Missouri Major Investigation Squad.

Hill was being held on $1 million bond in the Cass County jail until he is transferred to Clinton County to face the charges, officials said. Authorities said there were no other suspects in the death.

Robbins' relatives reported about 6:15 p.m. Tuesday that she and her 9-month-old son were missing, Sloan said.

Three hours later, the Liberty Police Department received a tip that Robbins had been killed and her body was stashed in a car parked at Liberty Hospital, Sloan said. Shortly thereafter, officials found her body in the trunk of her 1997 white Mitsubishi in the hospital's east garage, authorities said.

Robbins was stabbed, officials said, but the cause of her death isn't yet known.

Authorities later found the infant with Hill in Cass County. Sloan said Hill is the child's father.

The baby, who was taken into state custody, is in good condition and state officials have not found any signs he was mistreated, Sloan said.

Robbins was not admitted for medical treatment at Liberty Hospital.

"From what I understand it was a crime that happened offsite somewhere and for some reason they chose to leave the body here," hospital spokeswoman Jennifer Benz said.

A spokesman for the Liberty Police Department said authorities were watching videotapes from the hospital's internal security system to find out when Robbins' body was left in the garage.

I'm part of the crew that found this body and pulled her out of the trunk. This news story is highly accurate. If I catch anything else that's printed, I'll be sure to post that as well.

End Blog.

Monday, September 25, 2006

You're A Cop, I'm a Cop?


So, I got pulled over today for speeding. I was in a 35 mph zone, headed down the road to a 45 mph zone. I could SEE the 45 mph sign. Which, of course, means I was doing 50. The cop clocked me at 50, in a 35, and pulled me over.

Gave me a verbal warning.

Asked me to slow down.

Absolutely. Thank you, Officer.

I have no idea if he saw the police badge hanging around my neck or not. Maybe it would have been the same warning for any Joe Shmoe on the road this afternoon. In fact, that very well may be the case – because I caught him pulling someone else over in my rear view mirror just as I was getting back into traffic.

Everyone speeds right there.

You can SEE the 45 mph sign taunting you in the distance. Beckoning your foot toward the floorboards. So, really, it's not our fault… much.

End Blog.

Transformers: Robots in Disguise

On Friday morning a transformer blew at work causing the power to go out. Now, for the lab, this is not a big deal because everything essential has a back up power source. So, we lost a few lights, but mostly everything was in working order. Well, that is until something happened to the exhaust on our generator.

At least, through the confusion, I think that's what the problem was. Although, as it turns out, two wires to something that looked sorta important also melted together after said important-looking-machine overheated. Really, I have no idea what happened. All I know is the power went out, there was a weird smell, the firemen showed up, I went to lunch, I came back… and we lost the rest of our power little by little, until I was able to go home.

That's right. I had a good weekend that started 2.5 hours earlier than it should have. I suppose that's one of the perks to working in a building without windows. When the power goes out, it's pitch black. Well, that and none of the microscopes or computers had power. But, there are still lots of things you can do without power.

Aaaaanyway… point of the story – I got to go home early Friday. Sadly, I would have still liked a longer weekend.

Although, today at work went well. There were some residual computer problems from things shutting down improperly, but most of the bugs were worked out by mid-morning. And I still haven't finished the case I've been working on since Friday. I kinda like these long cases were there's lots to look at.

Okay, I'll say it again… I really love my job.

End Blog.

Playing Catch Up

I've been "busy" recently and haven't posted anything for your reading pleasure. I know. Here are a few highlights that should have warranted a blurb (in list form, your favorite!):

1. My skin is totally peeling all over the place. I quarantined myself from the lab one day last week so I wouldn't get my DNA all over every sample submitted. If I show up in a profile sometime in… ooooh, April or May of 2007, this is why. Remember that. (That's how long our current DNA backlog is.)

2. I went to my first gay bar with a few friends of mine one night last week. (We also got horribly lost in the city and ended up in Kansas. I do not blame the woman reading the map – not only because that woman was me, but because the map was not detailed enough to be helpful. "I don't know, there're only six roads on this map!") It was karaoke night, but upstairs the dance floor was still open. You know what's cool about gay bars? They play a whole shitload of Madonna. Three songs from her newest album! Three! Seems I'll have to go back someday. (Also – wow… gay men really know how to dance on poles. It was impressive.)

3. Beth and I went to see Hairspray at Starlight. It was freakin' awesome. I loved Penny Pingelton the most! And I got to drag Sarah along as well to mooch off of the free orchestra tickets Beth scored at work. Had a great time in the cool "autumn" night. Then I was insanely sleepy at work the next day. I made a mental note to myself not to do things after work two nights in a row. I must be getting old.

4. Tom's in town from Indiana this weekend/week. I spent most of the weekend with him and the Andersons. We went to Worlds of Fun "Halloweekends" and rode some of the rides and went in a haunted house. I got scared a good four times – where I actually jumped back and screamed. Man, I hate haunted houses. Then we went to IHOP. I haven't been there since at least January. Why is it that I only like breakfast food if it's served at night and there's chocolate milk involved?

5. We went back to the Renaissance Festival, and I have to say, it's better when you're intoxicated. Although, this time we sat in the section that cheered for the "evil" knight during the joust. It's way more fun to cheer on the bad guys. After that we went to the Yard House for dinner and drinks. Surprisingly, their food is way good. I expected it to just be a beer place, since they have 130 to choose from. But, t'wasn't.

6. I had a dream last night that I had surgery of some sort on my face and arms. I'm sure it has to do with the disfigurement from the sunburn. =) Oh, and just to make sure you know… I didn't wear sunscreen at all this weekend while I was outdoors. I'm fine, by the way. No damage this time. Damn freak sunburning in September. That happens to no one but me.

Soooo… needless to say… I spent a whole bunch of money recently. Of course, I have more than I used to, so I'm not complaining. I'm far from the brokeness level I was at this time last year, when I was coming close to being unemployed for an undetermined length of time and was trying to save as much money as humanly possible.

Wow. I've come a long way since then. Go me.

I should be spending more money soon. I need to go buy something really nice to wear to court because I'll be testifying eventually – and I'm taking a courtroom testimony class that I actually have to "dress for court" for. So… yeah. Shopping.

Can't you feel the excitement?

Okay… yay. You're all caught up.

End Blog.

Monday, September 18, 2006

Missing Since 09/11/2006

I'm leaving out a Chipotle burrito and a Dr Pepper tonight, just like milk and cookies for Santa. I'm hoping it'll come home for that.

End Blog.


Today at work everyone I saw had a comment for me… from "Man, you look really red," to "What the hell did you do to yourself?" to "What were YOU doing this weekend?" One person even said they were having a hard time looking at me because I looked like I was in so much pain.

I've pretty much gotten used to the fact that I'm dumb. The sunburn wasn't really bothering me so much today. I knew I had small blisters on my face, but I also knew you couldn't really see them from a distance. So, I was trying to convince myself that it didn't look that bad.

Turns out… not so much. My whole face is actually swollen. I kinda noticed it in my forehead, that it was sticking out slightly further than usual. But, really, how many people would know my face better than I do? I didn't think people would notice much.

Until I looked in the mirror when I got home. Turns out it was more swollen than I thought. Swollen so far in fact, that my forehead is encroaching upon my eye sockets.

(My eyes look really brown here. Odd.)

That's totally not normal!! Plus, it kinda makes me look really confused.

Not really sure what the hell I'm talking about?

I think this is what I would have looked like 30,000 years ago. You put some flint tools in my hand and have me do some cave drawings, and I'd blend right in.

I could be the most brilliant of all the Cro-Magnons. Because lord knows I'm quickly dropping in the ratings of the Homo sapiens. And I do mean daily.

End Blog.

The Perk of Missouri

Ha Ha!!

I just bought gas for $1.96 a gallon.

I wish I had somewhere to drive.

Henry and I are ready to go.

End Blog.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Stupidity at its Finest

While in the sun, if you know you're getting burnt and are already in pain, yet continue to stay in the sun... you're probably in store for a miserable existence in the coming days.

I haven't been this sunburnt in... well, probably all of my life. But, I think I may have helped my situation yesterday the tiniest bit. I recently learned in my first aid class that to treat sunburn you should cool down the skin with damp, cool, wet towels. It gets the heat out from under your skin. If you don't do this, it stays in there and the layers of skin continue to act like blankets heating your flesh and making your sunburn worsen to the point where blisters form. Yay, second degree burns!

So, when going to sleep last night, I covered my arms with a wet towel and tried to keep my upper body cool while covering my legs with enough blankets so that I was warm enough to go to sleep. It was an uncomfotable, restless night. But, I finally got some sleep.

I woke up this morning, still in pain, and went to the bathroom to check out the damage. I'm still way red, but my arms don't look any worse than yesterday. There may be one or two small blisters that pop up, but overall, I think I did a good job in helping my situation, though I'm not ready to wear things with sleeves yet.

Sadly, one thing I can't do is sleep with a wet towel on my face. (I tried.) My nose has been a little stuffy recently and with the towel nearby, breathing became an issue.

So, now I'm horribly disfigured.

I actually have blisters along my hairline, nose, and chin. It is taking all the will power I have not to pop them. (Gross, I know.) I'm totally one of those people. I pick at scabs and pop zits and blisters have performed minor surgeries on my own ingrown toenails and a wart I once had on my foot. I'm not usually a huge whimp when it comes to pain or pus or blood. And as these things go, this is nothing like the back pain I had for a month in June of 2005. That was the worst pain I've ever experienced. (It's been over a year since I've had any back issues! Rejoice! It's something that usually surfaces about twice a year.)

I know things could be way worse, so I'm not really complaining about the slight uncomfortableness of this pain. The left side and back of my neck hurt a little, the very tops of my shoulders where the red line begins hurt, and my lips are in a constant state of ouchiness. Mostly I feel bad about doing this to them because it was easily prevented but I'm a lazy idiot. I suppose I'll learn from this, eh? Luckily this is not a bathing suit burn. Things could be oh soooo much worse.

But really, blisters on my face? That sucks.

A lot.

End Blog.

Saturday, September 16, 2006


I went to the air show today. Wanna see what I brought home with me?


Ignoring the mess in the background and the happy expression on my face... please note how amazingly red I am. This is not a photoshop trick. I am actually THAT color.

I have a line from my watch that's just as pretty as the ones you see here.

Damn you stupid ball of fire in the sky! Leave my flesh alone!

I'm just thrilled that I had the insight to wear jeans and spared my legs from this pain. The weather people LIED TO ME. It was supposed to be "in the low 80s, overcast, with chance of showers". What was the weather today? NOTHING LIKE THAT! It was 92 degrees, not a cloud in the sky, kinda windy.

So, also my lips are chapped. Or burned. Or... well, they hurt too.

And because of the wind, there were no paratrooper people jumping out of planes. The thing that I wanted to see the most, the Golden Knights, didn't perform. Boo.

I guess the Blue Angels were cool too. But, I'm not sure it was worth being this color.

Someone needs to be a responsible adult and give me sunscreen next time they take me outside. I can't be trusted.

Probably the next time I go outside I'll just spontaneously burst into flames.

Forecast for tomorrow? 72 degrees, scattered showers.

Dear people going to the air show: Take lots of water and sunscreen with you. The weather people have no idea what they're talking about.

(For shits and giggles, scroll down to the photo from the Ren Fest (now that was a beautiful day) and look at what a white girl I am. 20 minutes in the sun and I was totally fucked. Totally.)

I'm ready for fall.

End Blog.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Forces of Evil

The forces of evil combined in my apartment today.

I finally decided that I MUST do laundry so that I have something to wear tomorrow. And while I was pulling clothes out of my laundry basket, a black medium sized spider ran through the clothes and disappeared beneath them.

So, there's a spider in my laundry. Which is a really awesome excuse for not doing laundry.

Except I really needed to.

So, I dumped the clothes in the machine and tried to touch them as little as possible. Either the spider escaped or is currently getting a nice bath... er, death.

Why can't spiders be really big, furry, have half as many legs, and like to bark? I wouldn't hate them so much then.

End Blog.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Too Funny Not To Post

Your Bumper Sticker Should Be

"I've made smarter things than you by eating fiber"

Hehe. It's probably true for some.

End Blog.

Monday, September 11, 2006

Ren Fest Drunken Antics

Soooo... maybe this is where all my brain cells went.

But, c'mon. Don't I look like I'm enjoying myself with my new swine friend? They actually had to tell me to look up in this picture because I was speaking to him.

His name is Hamlet. He likes beer.

End Blog.

I'm a Genius!

Please read that headline again and note how it is just saturated and dripping with the most sarcasm you have ever heard in your entire life.

Now, let me tell you about my morning.

My hair was unruly because I showered last night and slept on it wet. After deciding I didn't have enough time to make it look normal, I pulled it into a ponytail and sat down at my computer. Because, if there's one thing I know for sure, it's that I can't leave my apartment in the morning without changing an away message and checking my email. It's a sickness, I know. I'm severely addicted to online life. I've come to terms with it. You should too.

This morning required that I reply to an email quickly and then I headed out of the door with two blockbuster videos I needed to drop off in the mail. On the way to the car I realized that, indeed, I hadn't left the house on Sunday like I thought I was going to, so in turn, I hadn't filled my gas tank. So, now I have mail and gas to take care of, which was probably going to be pushing the limits of arriving at work on time.

I briefly entertained the idea of not dropping off the mail, but decided that it really wasn't going to take me that much longer. So, I headed to the mailbox at the leasing office, parked my car, and ran to the box to toss them in. I've done this many times. I always park in the same spot and I always leave my car running. One thing I've never done, however, is somehow manage to lock my doors in the process.

I get back to my car, pull the handle, and stare at the door when it doesn't open. Locked? It's locked? How could it possibly be locked? I tried another door. And another. And another. Then I tried the back hatch just to be certain. All locked. I'm still not sure how it happened. I must have bumped the keyless entry pad sometime after entering the vehicle. Regardless… I was now stuck with locked running car and no keys to my apartment to get the spare for my car.

I had a dilemma on my hands. And to top it off, the car was running on fumes. The gas light was already on and the needle was on E. So, if I didn't somehow beat the clock, I was going to be stuck with a car that was out of gas as well. There was really no telling how much gas was left in there.

So, I called Daniel and asked if I could screw up his morning so he could bring me the spare key to my back door. And, sweetheart that he is, he agreed. In the meantime, I ran back to my apartment, on the weird off-chance that somehow my door was miraculously unlocked. I checked the main door. Locked. As I knew it should be because I locked it five minutes earlier. Then I checked the back door. And the knob turned and the door opened.

Thank goodness! I immediately called Dan and let him know he didn't have to come save my morning and then I got my spare key and left the way I came. And I ran all the way back to my car.

Now, you may be wondering the same thing that I am… why, exactly was my back door open? And how long do you think it's been this way? I hardly ever use that door. But, I didn't think ahead enough to find my other spare key and lock my back door while I was leaving, either. So, it was open all day. I felt a little bad about that, but I also realized that it could have been like that every day for the past month…

Anyway, I ran back to the car and went to the gas station. I was sweaty and my heart was pounding. I'm like, SO out of shape. I contemplated taking up the treadmill. I still think that might be a good idea. I also think I should hide random keys all over the fricken place.

So, I currently have 10 minutes to get to work. Realizing that's impossible, even if I had a flying car, I come to terms with being late. Sort of. I filled my tank (highlight of the day, gas was $2.29 a gallon – eat that DC!) and headed to work. I ran 4 yellow lights and arrived about 15 minutes late. I walked in at the same time as one of my coworkers. So, I guess it wasn't all bad.

Later at work, when I was resealing a bag of evidence, I forgot to put all of it back in the bag before closing it up. So, I had to open it again, in a new spot, and reseal the darn thing again.

I seriously think I may have misplaced my brain. If you find it, please send it home.

To make up for this morning fiasco, I took myself to Chipotle for lunch.

I've come to find that Chipotle makes just about everything better.

I think I'll go lock my back door. Although, the randomness that it was open this morning was such a time saver.

I hope that karma balanced out in the world and someone had a really remarkable day. And if the person having a bad day gets to determine who gets the good one, I had the perfect individual in mind this morning. So, I hope that worked out well for her.

End Blog.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Shawnee Mission

"Shawnee Mission KIA, just a short drive. Shawnee Mission Parkway and I-35."

I know that for all of you who don't actually live in KC and listen to the radio here, that you don't understand this. But every time I hear "Shawnee Mission" this commercial jingle pops into my head.

Last night I drove through Shawnee Mission on I-35 and was disappointed to find that you can't actually see the KIA dealer from the highway. You can, however, see a myriad of other dealerships. Like Jaguars and BMWs. Things you wouldn't associate with KIA's at all. So, I suppose this is why they need an annoying jingle that you'll remember.

But man... I'd really like to be able to hear the name of that town without singing that.

End Blog.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

No! I Tried To Move Away From You!

Blech. I just found out Bush will be in Kansas City on Friday.

Something about raising money for Senator Jim Talent’s re-election. Booooooo. Can't they do this in the capital or something? Hang out in Jeff City for a bit? No, too small? How about STL?

Sigh. Well, if I can't stop it, then I shall take this opportunity to say: Vote for Democratic challenger Claire McCaskill! I base this solely on her supportive position for stem cell research. Yes, I'm uninformed about all the other issues, and I can vote. I'm an American, damnit!

Oh, and this is the only time you'll ever see me post something with "Bush" and "talent" together.

End Blog.

AH! Edited to add:
On Saturday former President Bill Clinton travels to St. Louis to speak at a fundraising brunch for Claire McCaskill. So, are you telling me I finally made it to MO and moved to the red city instead of the blue one?



For some unknown reason there was a photographer from the Kansas City Star at the Lee's Summit Hospital this evening while I was taking my first aid training class. He took my picture as Kelly wrapped my "wound" with a pressure bandage. I signed something saying they could use my likeness. I gave them my social security number.

And I have no idea why.

So... I might be in the paper. For some reason.

I don't get the paper so I'll probably never know if I make an appearance there. But... odd, no?

The good news is I'm now certified to administer first aid for the next three years. Although, first aid is not CPR. That's a whole different class. And, as it turns out, you don't even have to do the breathing part anymore so I'm sure that class is rather boring.

Anyway - if you get the paper, keep a lookout for my mug. I'll be the one on the left all bandaged up and probably laughing.

End Blog.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

The Weekly Blogthings You All Love

You Are a Life Blogger!

Your blog is the story of your life - a living diary.

If it happens, you blog it. And make it as entertaining as possible.

No kidding,eh? I figured we start small.

You Have a Phlegmatic Temperament

Mild mannered and laid back, you take life at a slow pace. You are very consistent - both in emotions and actions. You tend to absorb set backs easily. You are cool and collected.

It is difficult to offend you. You can remain composed and unemotional. You are a great friend and lover. You don't demand much of others. While you are quiet, you have a subtle wit that your friends know well.

At your worst, you are lazy and unwilling to work at anything. You often get stuck in a rut, without aspirations or dreams. You can get too dependent on others, setting yourself up for abandonment.

1: resembling, consisting of, or producing the humor phlegm
2: having or showing a slow and stolid temperament

Phlegm -
1: inactivity; showing an unusual lack of energy
2: apathy demonstrated by an absence of emotional reactions

Well, that was educational, now, wasn't it?

Your Observation Skills Get An A-

Hardly anything gets by you...

You have a great memory and eagle eyes

Dude, I'm also a really really good guesser. I love multiple choice tests.

Your Kissing Purity Score: 46% Pure

You're not one to kiss and tell...

But word is, you kiss pretty well.

Less pure than you thought!

Your Quirk Factor: 62%

You're so quirky, it's hard for you to tell the difference between quirky and normal.

No doubt about it, there's little about you that's "normal" or "average."

I only put this one up because the picture is so damn awesome.

You Are a Natural Flirt

Believe it or not, you're a really effective flirt. And you're so good, you hardly notice that you're flirting. Your attitude and confidence make you a natural flirt. And the fact that you don't know it is just that more attractive!

Um... yeah, I don't believe it. Effective? Doubtful. Although the hardly noticing part is probably true.

You Are Most Like John F. Kennedy

You live a fairy tale life that most people envy.

And while you may have a few dark secrets, few people know them.

Woo! Dark Secrets!

You Are: 90% Dog, 10% Cat

You're a dog at heart - and it's not a bad thing at all!

You love unconditionally, and you're extremely loyal.

And while you may act silly at times, you're really quite smart - and a good learner!

No kidding. This is why I get along so well with them. Mostly likely I was seperated from my litter at birth.

You Passed 8th Grade Math

Congratulations, you got 10/10 correct!

All with my own noggin, too. Even though the calculator is handy and I use it to add and subtract in my checkbook.

You Passed 8th Grade Science

Congratulations, you got 8/8 correct!

Although the person who MADE this test couldn't have passed 8th grade science, since they don't know the difference between a neuron and a neutron. Do I get extra geek points for knowing that they're not all that bright?

Your Political Profile:
Overall: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal
Social Issues: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal
Personal Responsibility: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal
Fiscal Issues: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal
Ethics: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal
Defense and Crime: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal

Heh... Defense and crime - 75% conservative. Guess we know who I work for, now, don't we?

You know you love these.
*hangs head*
I really shouldn't be allowed online some nights.

End Blog.

The Magic of Beer

Here’s what I remember of the Renaissance Festival: It was magic.

Now, considering the combination of a giant turkey leg, a jousting match, a fire eater, an actual magician, talking to random street characters and consuming three beers… I’m sure that really all I needed was the three beers to make the above statement.

I had remained relatively sober all weekend – partially because I thought people might need my help driving (and I’m such an upstanding citizen), and partially because I was on call and hoping something would happen that would require my considerable lack of forensic expertise. The second didn’t happen, although I was a fantastic driver both Friday and Sunday nights. (Saturday was spent at home without alcohol as well.)

So, considering that I don’t drink all that often and am by nature a lightweight… well, three beers and I was way more drunk than I had any right to be. It was kind of surprising how bad it got so quickly.

Man, I had such a good time.

And Beth, thank you for not letting me fall over my own feet and take a header into the wooden benches. You’re a peach.

Although, this does make one wonder if the Ren Fest would have been just as entertaining without alcohol. I seem to think not.

The only disappointment is that we never ran into the schizophrenic narcoleptic. Maybe she had fallen asleep somewhere.

If I can get the Andersons to email me pictures, I might let you see them if they’re not too embarrassing. I’m pretty sure there’s a good one of me offering some of my beer to a stone pig. (Huzzah, Beer!)

Yeah, you read that right.

End Blog.

Friday, September 01, 2006

Alumni News

So, they've finally started construction on my old undergrad science building, well loved Garber. Ah, the mornings I would roll out of bed and walk across the street to class… and right up this sidewalk.

What sidewalk? Yes. Exactly. There used to be one there. In fact, see this here area that's all torn to pieces? I once had to pretend to be a squirrel here for a demonstration on competition in my Animal Behavior class. We were searching for peanuts. I loved Dr. Goodman so much.

Speaking of Animal Behavior... that was held in room 224. Ah, beloved 224. The hottest room in Garber, and the most hidden, tiny, cozy place to have class. Poor 224. Of course, Senior Seminar was here too, so I don't feel so bad about them ripping the place down.

And then there is 204 - the classroom that I think I had every single psych class in.

Look at what's happened! It kinda makes me sick. I loved this place and it's dingy-dirty-horribly lit corridors.

Oh, and they are making a huge change that I can't agree with. They're putting windows into the science building! Since when have scientists ever needed sunlight?

Oh, the many days I walked into lab while the sun was out and been completely shocked stepping out of the building into the darkness of night. One good thing about not having windows? No distractions. Don't give college students windows. They'll look out of them! Especially if it's a nice day. It's a mistake, people. I don't know why you don't listen to me.

Windows! In physics class? This should never be. Wrong wrong wrong. Bad planing. You'll rue the day, LVC!

Oh, my poor, poor building. I know it's for the best, but I hate seeing it like this. And even though it's being renamed with the weird hyphenate-Garber, I'll still only ever call it Garber.

It's sad to know that the psychology department has long since moved from the building. I spent many a happy classroom experience in psych. I wonder what's been going on in this room without them this whole time...

(I'm pretty sure this is still 204, but they kinda all look similar now that they're trashed.) I can almost see Manza standing in here teaching over the rubble.

Really makes me wonder where the heck classes and labs are being held right now though. I mean, we don't have any other suitable place for any of the labs. I suppose you could teach the big o-chem and genetics classes in Chapel, and the smaller lectures anywhere else... but where are they holding labs? WHERE!?

'Cause it's not here.

How crazy is my love for LVC now that I'm gone? I just found out we're ranked in the top 2% in alumni giving in US News. I'm sure they must somehow brainwash us all at graduation with this overwhelming sense of goodness that came from the place, because I didn't love it this much while I was there.

We did surely get a quality education though.

They hired a new visiting assitant professor in the psych department. I don't care what she's teaching, if I were there I'd take her class. She's British. How much fun would an accent be! Well, I mean one that wasn't Cullari's. It took me a little while to figure out what the heck he was saying... though I did finally figure it out. Though, it wasn't so much his accent as his tendency to mumble, I suppose.

Oh, man... it's still plaguing me.

Where are labs being held? Why don't I still know anyone at LVC so I can ask them?

Oh... right... because I graduated from there in 2003 and any freshmen I knew from that time period just graduated last year! I'm getting so old.

Oh, hey, the colloquium this year is "Democracy and its Discontents". I'd so love to go to anything they're putting on. Sadly, as a freshmen, I bet I would have cared less. In fact, I know I would have. Because my colloquium was about gender issues, if I remember correctly, and I only attended the mandatory three that were required of me. And now, I'd really love to go to them. I really didn't take advantage of college. There's so much learning you can do there! Who knew?

Oh, oh... I feel that I'm about to burst into the alma mater!

To Thee dear Alma Mater, this ringing song we raise
A song that's fraught with gladness, a song that's filled with praise
We cannot help but love Thee, our hearts are full and free
Full well we know the debt we owe, to dear old LVC!

Mostly people only sang the last line.

Sigh. Maybe I should pay my student loan bill.

End Blog.

Something I Could Live Without

As I sat down in the bathroom, I noticed a bug of some sort crawling along my pajama pants. I jumped, brushed it away, and grabbed some toilet paper to smoosh it into the floor and kill it - but good. And when I reached for said toliet paper, I found a giant spider sitting on the side of the bathroom counter sink, inches away from me and my toilet paper.

All the while I'm sitting there on my toilet, in the midst of peeing. Which, I found, is something that doesn't stop when you're surrounded by insects and totally freaked out.

This is not my idea of a good way to head to bed.

Now my heart's all fast and quick from the jumpiness. You can't sleep like that.

There's just something about things that creep you out while you're vulnerable like that... I mean, it was a hard choice. Finish peeing or get the hell away from it? Then regaining muscle control to actually perform one of those tasks.

I know it sounds like I'm living in a shit hole. That's not the case. There are just... bugs here. And even the idea of a roommate who will kill them for me wouldn't have worked in this situation. Because how many times can you actually get your roommate to pee with you?


On the bright side, this is the first spider I've seen since I talked to the apartment management. But, also the first other weird random bug...

(I never thought I'd post a blog about peeing. Or one that had the word 'toilet' in it so many times. What is my life coming to?)

End Blog.