Friday, August 25, 2006

Hateful Generalizations

Today must be a statewide holiday for everyone with a Missouri license plate. They get to make stupid decisions, drive recklessly, and have accidents all over the road, causing slow traffic and requiring police attention. What a fun, fun day!

People on the roads annoyed me both going to and driving home from work today. So, for everyone's education, let's go over some basic rules of the road.

1. When it's raining and you have your windshield wipers on, TURN ON YOUR FREAKIN' HEADLIGHTS.
2. When it's pouring, slow down. Just a little bit. Please?
3. When it's barely drizzling, you don't need to slow it down to 30mph. The highway minimum is 40. That means all the time.
4. Please, control your temper on the road. Yes, that asshole in front of you is doing 30mph, but you swerving around him and speeding off down the road only ends in tragedy. Like when you lose control of your brand new Mustang on the slick roads and cross the muddy median into oncoming highway traffic. Which only causes more traffic and rubberneckers and a ruined Mustang.

You have insane thunderstorms here all the time. Why the hell don't you know how to drive in the rain? I'm not looking forward to the winter snowy months. It's amazing that all of you are not dead by now.

(PS - To the man in the black Taurus that I let merge into my lane: I'm not talking to you. You were very polite and friendly and patient and safe. And, you're welcome... but you didn't need to wave thanks three separate times. And I could see your hand through the window, so you needn't have put it down to wave as well.)

End Blog.


Anonymous said...

He must have thought you were also very friendly and polite, as Missouri drivers go, say, one in a quintillion(or 3).

Lil'motherf*cker said...

I'm going to be a bit of upset right now. There are more than that many friendly Missourians.

Nikki said...

I did title it "hateful generalizations". I realize there are a great deal of good drivers... it just didn't feel like they were on the road with me on Friday while it was raining and we were driving through construction zones.

But really, what's the deal with the headlights and windshield wipers? That IS a law here, right? I've never seen so many people completely ignore it.

Oh... and, PS... technically, people on the road think I'm a Texas driver. So I can give y'all a really bad name if I want to.