The Closer Rant

I'm ranting. If you don't want to hear me complain, you don't have to read this one. =) You're welcome for the warning. That's how much I love you.


Okay, I watched the TNT original for the first time tonight. I don't know why I bother watching law enforcement shows. They all piss me off beyond belief.

I would never, ever, ever... ever want to work with Kyra Sedgwick. Man, I hate her character. She's arrogant and she doesn't follow rules. She'd be a nightmare in court. And her accent isn't even cute. There's something not right about the southern drawl she's got going on. And maybe it's because I only know the South Carolina accents and not the Atlanta, Georgia ones... but, all around, quite possibly one of the most annoying shows ever made. (At least for me.)

I've seen one episode, so I only have a few things to complain about. They are the following:

1. If you have a triple homicide, Detectives are not going to be collecting evidence. That's why you have CSIs.

2. To my knowledge, no one uses the term "ballistics" to refer to the firearms and toolmarks section. Ballistics deal with the motion, behavior, and effects of projectiles in the air. The terms are not interchangable.

3. Brenda (Kyra Sedgwick's character) was wearing the worst shade of lipstick I have ever seen. Oh, my eyes!! And she even reapplied it, I think just to piss me off.

4. This should go without saying by now, but... I can't help it - they keep screwing it up. Evidence doesn't go in clear plastic bags. The only exceptions to this rule (at least in our department) are valuables like jewlery and money.

5. This show has a lot of interrogation in it. Now, I am not, nor will ever be in that portion of the system. But, I do know that as soon as people ask for a lawyer, all questioning must stop. Immediately. In addition to that, I didn't see anyone say anything about a Miranda waiver. Which wouldn't really bother me if we didn't follow a guy into the interview room and just start askin' him questions. Even if they were told of their rights when they were arrested, I'm pretty sure policy would have them sign a form once faced with officers in a small room. Also, you need a warrant or signed consent for a suspect's buccal swab. It's not perishable evidence like hair standards and fingernail scrapings.

I know that you're sick of me nit-picking entertainment. I apologize. But, legitimately, you have to at least give me the lipstick one. I mean, it was horrible.

I know you're asking why I don't just turn the channel. I'll tell you why. I keep thinking that it'll get better. And then I'm too invested to not see what happens, however far-fetched the scenario turns out to be. No matter the giant leaps in logic and serendipitous moments, I feel the need to watch until the show is over.

I guess I need closure. But, I do not need The Closer. No, this I can do without. Please do not let me get to the point where I get involved with a TV police drama. I need those shows somehow blocked from my television. They just annoy me.

It's sad, really. I mean, I'm sure that doctors can't watch ER or Grey's Anatomy because they can't seperate the story from the setting, and I'm the same way with police shows. Which, I'm not even a police officer. I can only imagine what they think of these shows if I have such a problem watching them.

And while we're almost sort of on the subject...

Criminal Justice and Criminology have very little to do with Forensic Science.

Just so you know.

Because I think too many people out there had no idea until they read that sentence. One of them has to do with science and scientific theory. The other has a whole lot to do with... well, I'm not really sure. I imagine psychology, law, sociology, judicial process, and law enforcement... but, little hard science.

Anyway... I bring this up because I'm sick of seeing commercials on TV telling you about how you can major in Criminal Justice because it's trendy and they want to associate it with CSI. I'm sure that people are confusing the two. They are not the same.

Okay... I think I'm done ranting. Sorry for that.

End Blog.