Super Nik!

I totally caused a police car chase to turn into a police foot chase on Thursday. I am a superhero.

I was leaving work and pulling out into traffic on Troost. There was a bus that was close by and then a few cars waaaaaay up at the top of the hill. I waited for the bus and then pulled out because I didn't realize there was this car that was driving at like 80mph on a road where you should only be doing 35 (so I thought I had a lot of time to pull out). Anyway, long story short - I did not.

I heard tires screeching before I saw the car behind me in my rear view mirror, which swerved left to pass, lost control of the car, spun out, and ended in front of me, almost facing the wrong direction. Then it pulled up onto the grass/sidewalk of the building next to work and a dude got out of the passenger seat. I thought he was coming after me to kill me. He got out before the car stopped and slipped and fell on the wet grass. (Which is funny now, but not at the time.)

And then the dude in the driver's seat got out. And I was scared to death, thinking, "I am so dead. Right here. I'm going to die right in front of work." Fear of death imminent, I froze, unable to think far enough in advance to DRIVE AWAY from these crazy road-rage-filled men.

And then the weirdest thing happened. I heard sirens behind me... and these two dudes RAN AWAY. (And uphill... dumb. And in the same direction. Dumb.) Three police cruisers came up, and an officer jumped out of his car and ran after them, and then the police cruisers drove off, following them the best they could.

And I think, had it not been for me pulling out of my work parking lot, the car chase would have continued.

I watched the news all night but nothing about it came on. The next day at work, I asked around. Apparently the driver was stopped on 71 highway for some sort of violation and when they found out who he was, they discovered five warrants for aggravated assault. FIVE! So, knowing he was about to be arrested, he took off, police chase ensuing.

So, Superhero that I am, I stopped the car chase and made them flee on foot. The driver was arrested in my work parking lot. Apparently he ran up around the block and must have jumped the fence to our back parking lot. He was standing around talking on his cell phone, like he belonged there. Good thing we knew he did not. He was arrested and is currently in jail on $8,000 bond.

I mean, talk about stupid criminals! He was standing on police property!

No word on the passenger - who he is, why he ran... All I know is he was wearing jeans and a red and white horizontal striped shirt, a red baseball hat, and is kinda clumbsy...

Anyway, the good news is that they didn't hit my car. (Whew! I mean, it was really, really, really, close!) I never saw the car coming AT ALL. Or I had absolutely no idea it was going that fast.

The bad news is that I thought I might die and seriously needed to calm down my heart rate after witnessing all of this.

It's not easy being a superhero crime fighter.


End Blog.

I'm Totally Supposed to be Here

Does it look like she's smiling? Because I'm sure she is. I can tell she's pleased with herself that she's up on my bed. That rascal.


End Blog.

Eye Spy

Yesterday I made Beth drive 15 minutes to Lenscrafters to help me make a decision because it was simply impossible for me to choose new glasses on my own. Then I decided to ignore her choice at least three times. Beth is one of the best friends a girl could ask for.

The story unfolds as thus:

On a whim I decided to get new glasses. I've had mine for over six years and haven't had an eye appointment is as long, either. I wasn't wearing them all last week because I was basically completely sick of them and seeing as how my vision isn't that bad, I regularly don't wear them. Lenscrafters had an appointment open and so I took it.

After I filled out my preliminary info, I went back and did the fun glaucoma test, watched a little farmhouse go in and out of focus, and looked in this thing where I was supposed to see 9 diamonds and instead saw 12. This seemed to trouble the woman doing the tests for the doctor, but I was unsurprised as things like that happen often to me. Then I was temporarily blinded with a bright light so they could get a picture of my retina… which was kind of cool to see, so I wasn't all that upset.

I had a quick eye exam from a doctor who introduced herself as Sally, even though her name is Sarvitree. Turns out my prescription has gone down. My left eyes is now a -0.25 and my right a -0.50. She told me I didn't need to wear glasses all the time if I didn't want to, just for things like driving at night and stuff.

Also, we talked about my double vision issue and I learned that it usually happens in much younger kids. It's a problem with convergence. She gave me eye exercises to do. I suppose that eye exercises would be the first step in my work out regime. I mean, if I can actually set aside time and do them, maybe that also means I can set aside…

Eh, who are we kidding? I've had this problem for years and it's really not that big of an issue. I've learned to deal with it since it only comes up on a few occasions. I'm not going to do eye exercises.

Anyway, after that she put drops in my eyes to dilate them and sent me off to look at frames for a while as we waited for them to work. I picked out several different frames, in every style – wire frames, rimless, half rimless, plastic… once I found a shape that I thought worked for me, they all pretty much seemed the same. And then I was having trouble distinguishing colors because my pupils were the size of dimes. Also, it made me a little dizzy.

We went back and finished the eye exam where she looked at my retinas and told me I have very healthy eyes. The exam over, I gave her my five dollar copay and went on my merry way… back to frameland. (Insurance really is super awesome.)

I had about 9 pairs of glasses picked out and called for reinforcements because this was a choice I just couldn't make on my own. Enter Beth.

The pair I was most fond of (but refused to buy) were wire framed… but purple. After trying all the glasses on once for her, Beth almost immediately shot them down. She settles on two that she liked the most and we debated over them… forever.

She decided on a pair of very fine black wire frames glasses approximately three times. And each time I was like… really? And then I put on the second pair of glasses and each time she would say… no, I like those, too. But she always picked the black wire frames as her choice.

After talking to the salesman who told me Lenscrafters has a 30 day guarantee, where you can bring back your glasses and exchange them for any others if you diddn't like them for any reason… I went with the ones Beth didn't pick.

They're plastic and dark and totally scream, "Hey! I'm wearing Glasses!" But they're kinda cute. And seeing as how I don't have to wear them all the time anymore… I went with it. If they annoy me before 30 days are up, I can always take them back.

Plus… these were less expensive.


And after I got home I realized they kinda look like Tina Fey's glasses, just a little.



End Blog.

Vet Update

Turns out Rem's heartworm free. Hooray!


End Blog.

Remy's Health Evaluation and Pictures

The following is a recounted tale (tail?) of our vet visit and new and highly adorable pictures of Remy. Because I love my dog.

Remy and I went to the doctor on Friday. She's 60 pounds, which was exactly the weight of dog I was shooting for previous to the apartment rules lifting the weight maximum. Although 60 pounds is a pretty perfect size for a dog. According to Doc Stelzer, she's all around healthy, although, maybe, she might have a slight heart murmur. But it's nothing to worry about.


Rem got three shots and some blood drawn for a heartworm test, so I could finally get her on some heartworm meds. Because I've been a bad mom for the past four and a half months and not provided her with any. She got a rabies shot good for 3 years and one shot for all of the following: distemper, hepatitis, parainfluenza, and parvo, and then one for kennel cough, just in case she need to be boarded somewhere some day. She took it all magnificently well, except for the tight restraint she was in for the blood draw, though she didn't seem to mind the needle too much.

We have to wait until tomorrow for the results of the heartworm test. Meanwhile, they sold me Heartgard assuming that she doesn't have any issue. It's a little chewy beefy treat. I'm sure she'll love it. That's way better than taking a pill. Why didn't they think of this before?


We also got a three year license for Kansas City. So we're all legal and stuff now. And she has two shiny metals for her collar. One is green and one is blue. She now jingles when she walks around.

So, all told, Remy spent $166.36 on Friday. We have to go back in September for a second in a series of shots. But, she seemed relatively happy. I also may have spoiled her rotten because she was so very well behaved at the vet.


I couldn't have adopted a better dog. I love her very much.


End Blog.

Remy says: "This blog is boring. Yawn."

Have Some Birthday Pi

Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday, dear Albert.
Happy birthday to you.

It's pi day. And Albert Einstein's birthday.

So, have a piece of pi for our good buddy, Bert.


I actually have nothing further. Things are kinda quiet and boring right now. But, at least you now know I'm still alive.


End Blog.

My Least Favorite Day of the Year

The Monday after daylight saving will forever suck. I hate this day with a passion. I want my hour back... or to never lose it again. This is the stupidest thing we do. It should be banned for all eternity.


End Blog.

Universal Truth #734

Every surface in a Waffle House is sticky. Don't ask questions, the food is cheap.


End Blog.

I'm in Charge Here!

I'm the acting supervisor of the trace section until Thursday when my boss gets back. Idn't that the funnest?

I'm super cool.


End Blog.

Oh, PS, I got my annual raise. Sweeeeeeeet! *spends it all in one place*

Remy, The Fetchiest Pup

This is a boring video of my dog playing fetch. But, she listens and she's off a leash and this is a big deal for us. Hooray!

I love my puppy.




End Blog.

Kansas City's Most Prolific Serial Killer

Lorenzo Gilyard's trial is this week and I've been privilaged enough to witness about 7 hours of it first hand. He's only being charged with 7 rape/homicides, even though his DNA links him to 13 of them. 13!

I watched expert witness testimony in this case for training purposes, since I suppose some day it could be me up there. The justice system at work! It was interesting to see a cross exam and what sort of things they do to confuse the issues and make juries doubt experts. And I learned why it's awesome that the KCPCL makes identification statements regarding DNA testimony.

I hope this guy ends up in jail for the rest of his life. It still baffles me that he claims he's innocent. No one coincidentally has sex with 13 prostitues that all end up dead later. It doesn't happen. I just doesn't.

Thankfully we caught him (not that I had anything to do with this case) with the aid of federal money and new technology. I love that we're putting away bad guys 20 years later.


End Blog.

Happy Birthday to Me

Today I turned 26. I also went to work for the first time on my birthday like a responsible grown-up type person. It turned out to be a beautiful day as I was driving home. 64 degrees in February. I had my windows down. When I got home I took Remy to the park across the street so she could run around like a maniac. She came back when I called her and everything. What a good dog.

Afterwards, I met Beth and Daniel to drive up to Bravo! for dinner. In the 30 minutes between the park with Remy and driving to Beth's, huge storm clouds rolled in. Apparently we were under a tornado warning. The following random, unedited video is a good snapshot of my birthday. Oh, and just FYI, that van in the video is also purple.

Good times were had by all.

Also, this is not my fixed camera. They did not call me to pick up my camera as it is apparently not fixed by the date that they said it would be fixed by. Instead, I bought my camera again. If my camera gets returned to me in the next 13 days, I can return it for a refund. Otherwise... I'll have two.

Think of all the crazy video fun, then.

Oh, and Beth made my cake for me. She's fricken awesome.



Coolest cake for a 26 year old, ever. I also made soup out of my ice cream in the middle of the Italian restaraunt we were in. I ROCK.

End Blog.

Flying High

I took a ride in the police helicopter today!

My job Rocks.

FYI.


End Blog.

Manufacturer's Warranty

My camera had to be shipped back to Cannon. For fixing. Because Best Buy wouldn't replace the camera or fix it themselves.

Le sigh.

It should be done and ready for pick up on my birthday, but that was not specifically guaranteed.

Nikki is not happy. Nikki was also very annoyed at the Geek Squad and probably treated the helpful man poorly, even though it wasn't his fault. Oops.

I think the Geek Squad probably gets a lot of people taking frustrations out on them.

Sometimes technology is sucky. Boo.


End Blog.

Digitally Challenged

My BRAND NEW camera is having issues. And my girls are in town. I want to take pictures. Soooo, it seems I'll be heading to Best Buy to see if I can get it replaced.

Why do I have such horrible luck with digital cameras? WHY?

It's not like I even dropped it or anything. The LCD screen just isn't working anymore. All I get is white. Which, somehow seems slightly better than black, but... still not helpful. I can't get to any of the menus and I can't see the pictures that I've taken. Although, it does still actually have a viewfinder, so I can frame pictures, which I couldn't do with my last camera when it broke.

But this shouldn't have happened within three months of getting it.

So, with luck, I'll get it replaced.

Because, sadness is a broken camera. Much like happiness is a warm gun.


End Blog.

The Ultimate Bowl Game

For a long time I've been talking about how I don't think the Superbowl should be played by the two best teams in the leagues, but rather, by matching up mascots to play each other. This remains somewhat difficult if I'm restricted to stay within leagues (conferences?), but I've finally sat down and tried to figure out the best match ups that we should have the privilege of watching in Superbowl format.

Evenly matched mascots, taking on one another. This is what America really wants. Trust me. I have my finger on the pulse of America.

For example:
Titans v. Giants
Jaguars v. Panthers
Jaguars v. Lions
Ravens v. Cardinals
Ravens v. Eagles
Ravens v. Falcons
Ravens v. Seahawks
Raiders v. Buccaneers
Raiders v. Vikings
Chiefs v. Cowboys
Chiefs v. Redskins
Chiefs v. 49ers (they pushed lots of natives off of their land)
Bengals v. Lions
Texans v. 49ers (you know Texas and California really want to fight each other anyway)

Regular season games would include the following (in all combinations for multiple listings):
Colts v. Broncos v. Chargers
Falcons v. Eagles v. Cardinals v. Seahawks
Patriots v. Texans
Cowboys v. Redskins v. 49ers
Vikings v. Buccaneers
Panthers v. Lions

Some other interesting match ups may be as follows:
Texans v. Saints
Steelers v. Jets
Dolphins v. Seahawks


But really, we should get serious about this. There are several teams that don't have fair mascot rivals. So, I propose, we either eliminate these teams and vote them out of football, or create proper opposing adversaries for them.

Buffalo Bills
Miami Dolphins
Pittsburg Steelers
New York Jets
Chicago Bears
St. Louis Rams
New Orleans Saints

So, we need another very large grazing animal (unless we pair the Bills with the Redskins or Chiefs, but that doesn't seem like a very fair fight - or, alternatively, the same grazing animal, we can just name the team the Bison), another water dwelling creature (I suggest a shark), we should bring back the Oilers, get another mechanical flying machine mascot (missiles, rockets?), have another type of bear – like the Grizzlies, another small grazing animal ( like sheep or maybe a team named Aires), and a get team named the Angels and we'll be all set.

The following teams I think we should get rid of entirely:
Cleveland Browns
Green Bay Packers

These mascots were named after a guy and a sponsor, respectively. They have dumb mascots. I object.

Or, they can only play each other in the "Dumb Mascot Bowl". Because they suck.

And so, this is how it should be from now on. Then we won't have ridiculous things happening like baby horses beating the shit out of gigantic bears at the end of football season. This makes so much more sense when you think about it practically.

I am an evil genius who will revolutionize the world. Follow me.


End Blog.

IQ

I took an online IQ test tonight and scored a 138.

There was lots of other information they gave me about myself, but mostly it confirmed one of my major theories in life. 90% of the world is dumber than I am.

"For each scale, we determined how many people received scores above and below yours. Your "percentile" represents what percentage of people scored lower than you. In other words, 90th percentile means you scored higher than 80 to 90% of people did.

How are the percentiles determined? These percentiles were determined based on the one million users who have already taken our test. We then adjusted these percentiles based on a nationally representative IQ distribution to make sure that no level of intelligence was over- or underrepresented in the analysis. Thus, the percentiles we present reflect your score compared with people in the United States in general."

That's right folks. I be S-M-R-T.

I got three questions wrong. Two of them were totally legit. One I didn't know how to do the math, one I decided I didn't want to try to do the math in my head and guessed, and the third I was just really stupid on.

The question asked which didn't belong and pictured graphically a square, a circle, a tall rectangle, a long rectangle, and an octagon. The correct answer is obviously a circle because it doesn't have corners/sides. However, I picked the octagon because the other four were common geometric shapes and I deemed the octogon less common. Plus, it had a bajillion sides and looked wrong, like it didn't belong. Whoops.

So, at least we know I'm a natural blonde. =)

Still though, the world would be better with more smart people in it, though I fear if that happened, I'd be out of a job. Just like Leno, I gotta love the stupid criminal.


End Blog.

The Boot Prints of Doom

Look at all that doom. DOOM!





Right outside my window!

I should move because of all the doooooom!

So, if you see someone wearing boots with this tred, kill them for me, k?


End Blog.

Ice Capades

I was cleaning off the snow from my windshield this morning and as I pushed the snow to the ground, it fell all over me. Snow's cold.

Anyway, as I was walking around the front of my car to get back inside, I saw all this snow sitting on top of my shoes. So I thought I'd just stamp my feet a whole bunch and clean them off. I wish this moment had been captured on film.

Clearly, it was too early for me to be thinking. And, well, I sorta just jumped to stamp my feet at the same time. Into a big puddle of ice. (For lack of a better term) My feet landed, immedately gripped to nothing, and slid right off into the parking lot, the rest of my body following. It happened so fast, I didn't even have a chance to catch myself.

Feet slipped, I hit the ground on my left side - knee, hip, shouder, head. Oh yes. Head. I went right down. I bet it was utterly hilarious. No one saw it.

I think my hip might be bruised. It still kinda hurts, but everything else seems in order. At least I didn't break anything. That would have been bad.

Have I mentioned recently that I hate snow?

Because I do.


End Blog.

Bet Max!!!

(Special Guest Blogger - Brenda the Ying and Yang of Luck)

Returning home from a night on the town of ole Kansas City there are two things that Nikki and I thought were blog worthy.

1) MB has washer fluid that jettisons outside of her car to wash off her headlights! This extreme cleaning action elicited gasps of pure geek-ing fascination from both Nik and I. Of course, the gasping from the two of us prompted MB to jump out of her car and yell that she indeed needed to witness the magical spectacle as well. Some may think that they have already heard of magical washer fluid, but they have not seen the amazing feat that the luxury vehicle that MB drives shows the public.

What better way to have others in traffic be envious of you than to show that you're bored and need your headlights to be cleaned off. I know I would hit the button and then look at the other cars from my elevated state (because I'm a luxury SUV with fantastic tire height as well) and waggle my eyebrows.

Most likely this would be followed by the noise, "Eh? Eh?" I do understand that the lowly peon would not hear this, but I would then gesture to how fantastic my car was and they would understand that they need to not let me merge into lanes because I was a) annoying and b) so fantastic that I'd find a way with my superior washer fluid shooters around them.

AND

2) Kathy Griffin is again brillant!

Many are nodding their heads. Most are nodding vigoriously. Most are more correct than the many. (Isn't that sentence just annoying as hell?) So I had my de-virgin-izing of the casino this evening at the lovely Ameristar in Kansas City, which is but a stone's throw away from Nik's apartment.

And by stone I mean a pebble being thrown by a giant, most likely Goliath, because he likes doing that.

As we enter into the land of lights and whistles I as ADHD as I am can't concentrate. Because.... lights and whistles.

After we finally settle down at some crazy penny slot machine called "Great White" I proceed to show the Yin of my Luck. This being the bad luck... and I own it, I'm that bad. As I finally am down to the remaining ten cents one of my friends gave me to gamble I called and she gave the fantastic 'bet it' advice. I did, ladies and gents, lose all my ten dollars.

While MB and Nik didn't. They won over twenty. Each. Can you feel my lips purse and grimace occur at the same time. Yes? Good then we'll move on.

Craps followed as MB tried to let me know what was going on. I understood that you got chips and you placed them on felt and people rolled dice. I nodded when appropriate, but really I was there to listen to people yell and say things like, "I ain't fraid of no ghosts!" Which amused me every single time the gentlemen would say it.

We tracked down a slot machine with a pulley that I could giggle and crank down on.

After Nik played Cops and Doughnuts and giggled herself silly, while MB and I were baffled by the crazy game we played we moved on and spent a good while at video poker. Where thankfully, it took me a lot longer to lose some money.

Remember when I said Kathy Griffin is brillant? It's because at anytime this could be heard out of Nik or I... we then got MB to say it as well. "Bet Max!" Which would be followed by fake smoking and swizzling of a straw in our drink.

As we left I exclaimed that there were penny slots that looked fun. I started to bet safe.

Nik did not. She would continue to "Bet Max!!!" and actually won 25.00.

I was not doing so well, as I was sitting in between MB and Nik, allowing them to win and continuing to be bad luck, to myself.

I decided that I only had 14.00 and I tried to bet Nik that in three "Bet Max(es)!" I would not win. Because I am the yin of luck.

I was going to Bet Max, while saying it, every. single. time. until I zero'ed out.

Funny thing about losing complete hope and just trying to make yourself laugh. You make money.

Return on the money you lost, recoup your dinner costs, and then some.

Kathy Griffin rocks.

End Nikki's Blog.

The Never Ending Reservoir

Having your first car as a 1967 Mustang teaches you many of life's important driving lessons. It does not, however, teach you certain things. Such as: a whole bottle of washer fluid does't even begin to fill your entire washer fluid reservoir thingie. Who knew? I kept pouring and pouring and pouring into this tall, skinny, little thing and it... just never got full. I never even saw the top of the liquid, and all of a sudden I had poured the whole darn thing in there. I kinda felt like a magician.

I have no idea where all that blue fluid went, kids! Watch me pull a rabbit from my motor!

Of course, you have to remember that in my first car, the washer fluid sprayer consisted of me sticking my hand out of my side window with a bottle of windex. Eventually when I upgraded to the real workings of a the pedal at my foot that would work my washer and wipers, the little tank that held the liquid was tiny. I thought they were all like that!

They are not.

I have absolutely no idea how much that thing holds. It completely fascinates me!

Magic! Right there, hiding in my car the whole time!

I'm now assuming that they've never topped off that fluid when I got my oil changed, even though they said they did. I've been running off of the same washer fluid for two and a half years. I'm beginning to think that maybe my car can hold more washer fluid than gas at this point.

I'm telling you... amazing thing, that is. I've come a long way from my bottle of windex. (Oh, how I remember how much fun that was in the rain!)

*hugs crazy magical car*


End Blog.

Sinking Feeling

Dude, my calves are freezing. That whole thing about hot air rising is so true. The rest of my body is fine. My calves and feet are popsciles. I've taken to sitting Indian style in my chair and lowering it as far as possible so my knees fit under the desk. I'm quite short now. But my legs are thawing.

I wonder if my dog is cold laying on the floor. I think I might worry about her too much.

It's way cold here. The low tonight is -1. But it might get all the way up to 27 tomorrow!


End Blog.

AIM Update 6.0.28.1

[rant]

Last night I said I was going to avoid this update because I heard mumblings of people trying to "figure it out". When people say that, I know that there's a huge change coming. Everyone who uses AIM regularly shouldn't have to "figure out" anything. Avoid it, I told myself.

Today when I came home, my computer was off. OFF! I also had to reset all my cable channels on my TV, so through my amazing deductive skills, I postulated that the power went out here today at some point. Although none of my clocks were blinking.

Anyway, upon restarting my computer, AIM asked me if I wanted to update. Did I remember the grumblings from the previous evening? Of course not! So, I updated AIM. What a foolish mistake.

Why is it that the more cartoony something looks, the better it's supposed to be? I feel like I should have big clown hands to use this. I HATE the new look. I hate the new size of the window. I hate just about every single feature. It's ugly. And I can't make the window any smaller. Do you know why this is bad? Because I keep it docked on the right hand side of my screen... eternally. Yes, it had ruined the right side of my screen, but it doesn't matter because it's always there. But you know what? It doesn't fit in its spot anymore. That's right, the smallest you can make the damn window is a good 8mm bigger than it should be.

Yes, I'm complaining over 8mm. On a computer screen, it's a big deal. Plus, I only have a 15 inch monitor anyway. I like my 15 inch monitor. But I want those 8mm back. Screw you, AIM. The windows are all... they're just wrong. They have stupid rounded corners and they're too big and... the whole thing just sucks.

I hate change. There was NOTHING WRONG with the previous version. It looked like my classic windows. And now it's all completely different. I hate it. Hate hate hate hate. I don't like the new icons. I don't like the little Zzz thing that comes up when people are idle. I don't like that the menus have changed. I have to "figure it out" all over again.

I was also upset that I had to restore all of my preferences.

[/rant]

I'm sure I'll get used to this. Eventually. But I won't be happy about it. Just so you know.


End Blog.

Still Waitin' On That Global Warming

When I arrived at work this morning it was 2 degrees outside. I’m not even exaggerating. That was the actual temperature. With the wind chill it felt like -9. The roads were fine, but the parking lots at both my apartment and at work were total sheets of ice. I came very close to falling several times. But, I did not. Sorry to ruin that visual you were forming.

When I let Rem out this morning, she took forever to pick the perfect spot. This annoys me to no end on freezing cold mornings such as this. I’m not a morning person. I hate cold weather. I’m very impatient in this regard. It just doesn’t matter where you go, Rem. It doesn’t matter.

But, this morning, as we were looking for said spot, even she was cold. She started shivering and lifting her little feet like she didn’t want to put them back down in the snow. Even her whiskers were frozen. Well, duh. Be quick about it and you get to go back inside where it’s warm. Sometimes I wonder how smart she is.

For example: She got a stuffed bear for Christmas. She likes said stuffed bear. She plays with said stuffed bear. We play with said stuffed bear together. I say the word bear all the time in conjunction with this toy. Anytime I ask her where her bear is when it’s not around, she brings me a bone. Not a bear, a bone. Maybe she can’t hear well. Maybe she likes to completely ignore me.

Maybe she just thinks it’s fun to annoy me. It probably is. I mean, lots of people do it. I don't know why my dog should be any different.


End Blog.

2006 in Review

I have been informed by the intrepid blogging community that it is a tradition amongst bloggers to repost the first sentence or two of every blog entry they made that year. I'm a bit late. Deal.

Being that I have written 237 blogs in 2006, this post is somewhat long. But, it's also somewhat funny… at least, to me. I especially like how it starts. (PS – Don't let me start a blog with the word 'so' ever again. I find that annoying upon review.) I think the quality of my blogging declined over time, but I'm going to blame that on... anything but me. You pick. Just not me.

Enjoy.


Disclaimer to the Universe:
Please do not jinx me for finally being optimistic about this job. Thank you.

I’ve been having the weirdest dreams lately where really odd things are happening and I refuse to wake up because I can’t imagine what I’ll do next, it just feels so bizarre.

I am not: dead. Yet.

I’m excited to watch the opening ceremonies of the Winter Games tonight.

I posted prematurely. I don't know what I was thinking. There's more crackpot mayhem on TV now.

Whoa... what happened? All of a sudden there are celebrities all over the place. Susan Sarandon, Sophia Loren, Yoko Ono, Peter Gabriel. Isn't the Olympics about sports? I forget.

But I love sports movies.

My plan to influence the Neilson ratings single handedly has been found out.

The luge is the strangest sport around.

So, this Valentine’s Day was not as cool as last year when I went to the morgue.

The Search Continues… for the most insane Olympian.

Lindsey Kildow may not be winning metals, but she’s got the absolute right idea about national television.

More insects in my diet.

For those of you living in a bubble... I'm moving.

Okay, so I got a call from the US Women’s Curling team asking that I please comment on them, or their sport, and to be my witty, wonderful self.

Yes, I have very odd concerns.

For the duration of the women’s figure skating competition, I will be cheering for Joannie Rochette of Canada.

Free.

I took a personality quiz online and decided to share it here because for once it seemed to really apply, almost in its entirety.

Nikki, on her way out for the evening, turned off the overhead light in her bedroom and headed for the door.

We went to Moxie’s tonight.

Yesterday I was introduced to Midwestern weather.

Today Alison berated me for not having an emergency kit prepared for bad weather.

You Are Dr. Pepper

I’ve been doing a lot of reading of scientific journal articles at work and have come across words that I didn’t necessarily know… but apparently was supposed to.

Henry just turned over 10,000 miles today on the way home from work.

Ovine – Relating to or like a sheep.

I know you’re sick of these but I’ve finished the first section of reading I was given, so hopefully there won’t be more for a little while.

There are some geniuses out there with a lot of extra time on their hands who have taken it upon themselves to re-tool the trailers of some of our most beloved movies and turn them into something else.

I got one email today.

The term room temperature is misleading.

Another great thing about moving out of my old place...

Thanks to Brenda and Beth... I've stolen this. So, me too.

There’s been a big news story for the past several days about a home invasion where the victim shot and killed two men who allegedly kicked in his door.

On this day in 1979, there was a major nuclear accident at Three Mile Island in Middletown, PA.

Update - Training advancement.

Hey, did you know there was a setting in here where you could allow anyone, even non-members to post comments?

You know who I don’t hear about anymore? Tai Shan, my little Butterstick.

Lebanon Valley College is tiny and in the middle of nowhere.

Today during my reading I came across a biology term that sent me right back to freshman bio, finals week, when I was helping J cram for our last exam.

I’ve decided I want to change my job title from “Criminalist” to “Crime Fighter” simply because it sounds more superhero-y.

Study Fails to Show Healing Power of Prayer

I wanted to share this conversation I had recently with all of you, but I had to sort of recreate it since there was no way I was to know at the time that it’d end up being so hilarious (to me at least).

I could listen to this song on repeat for days.

I have often wished that I had a way to see into the future, limited only to a few days and specifically for the purpose of knowing what the gas prices will be – lest I accidentally ruin something important.

Today in history (April 13), Commander James Lovell spoke the infamous words, "Houston, we've got a problem," aboard the ill-fated flight of Apollo 13.

Q: WHO'S THE 4TH PERSON ON YOUR RECEIVED CALL LIST?

The Police really know how to celebrate.

I went out and shot some pool tonight, in addition to standing around and watching other people shoot pool… which, worked as I’d hoped and I was invited to play with some other people.

Overall, you scored as follows: 11% scored higher (more nerdy) and 89% scored lower (less nerdy).

Many people don't really think about it, but the best thing about claiming Jesus is a Zombie is that all the Christians can't get mad at me.

I have lots of Madonna music.

My dog is turning 5 today.

Imagine my surprise this morning as I was driving to work when I saw that the 14 cent "Wednesday Price Hike" came a day early.

My entire morning was spent editing and updating my case reports after they had been rejected by peer review.

Today in history in 1999, the deadliest school shooting in US history occured at Columbine High School in Littleton, CO.

The only people that are going to be in the trace section at work on Monday are me and my boss.

Jake Gyllenhaal is the perfect man.

I was the supervisor of everyone in the trace section for an hour today.

Today we filed a bunch of older case evidence in the walk-in freezer.

I wrote a blog and stupid Microsoft Word shut down on me.

I was in the shower this morning looking forward to lunch today and I figured something out - A plan for my future should something go horribly wrong.

I totally rocked my cell ID test today.

Okay, they weren't mine.

Dear Blog, Today was an awesome day.

I was reading the April 15th issue of Science News today at work.

Sucks.

Okay, so I signed up for the Blockbuster online whatever-it's-called-thing and have been getting movies sent to my apartment and getting an additional free rental every week at Blockbuster.

Attn: Green Car Drivers

I moved really far away from all of my favorite people.

Damn! My missions were thwarted by a friendly customer service rep!

I really don't know why it took me so long to see this movie.

3 boxes weighing 47, 47 and 48 pounds

I have three rings that I wear every day.

CMT has had a marathon on all day of this show.

Is it wrong that all I wanna do is sleep in this new bed of mine?

There are a whole bunch of things I should do tonight before leaving for the weekend.

You're not going to believe this. I totally vacuumed.

Yay! Multiple dog weekend!

I used the plural form of this word because I doubt that one person would have done this on their own.

I find that when I travel for long distances, I get attached to traffic around me – especially cars that drive like I do - with cruise control set at or slightly above the speed limit.

I saw my first lightning bug of the season tonight.

A businessman walks into a bank in Washington, DC and asks for the loan officer.

The radio station I was listening on the way home from the grocery store (I remembered where it was and everything! My checkbook says I haven't been there since 4/23. Isn't that amazing?) tonight was playing things I haven't heard in a long time.

Woo! 666!

Damn! I accidentally fell asleep waiting for the show to come on Bravo tonight, and when I woke up, it was half over.

Iraq's al-Qaida leader al-Zarqawi was killed.

It's 11pm and whoever it is that lives above me is vacuuming.

I got my dinner comped tonight at Ruby Tuesday's because I found a hair in my meal.

Heh... remember the last time I went to the morgue? What a fun day.

For those weak of heart or stomach, you might not want to read this. For people who continually ask me if I've seen a dead body today, the answer would be yes.

It's June.

I thought I'd keep you updated on only the unusual symptoms of my cold.

I'm a much happier person when I can breathe easily through my nose.

True, the basic theme of every movie they make is the same, but it works.

I went out to a bar with fellow classmates from my CSI school tonight.

Woooo!

Today in class we did like 12 practical assignments involving fingerprint development.

In list form!

Jessica Simpson... you totally stole Madonna's song "Holiday" and tried to pass it off as your own.

Guys Like That You're Sensitive

What a nice employer.

I'm not going to deny that global warming exists.

Temperature: 98.4

Summer Movie Vintage Mustang Count ...is now at two.

Same colors and shapes and explosions.

Yes, I know that for the first time in a long time I have health insurance.

Okay, so, remember how I said I missed going to see the Maple Shade Fireworks display with J?

Not that there was reason to worry.

I stole the following post from one of my friends from undergrad, and I didn't tell him about it.

I picked up my new front door key this evening when I came home from work – as I was locked out of my apartment.

So, I've decided to take advantage of the fact that the KCPD is sending me to Chicago for a week and I bought a ticket to go see Wicked at The Ford Center Oriental Theater.

INSTRUCTIONS:

So, I saw Pirate's Dead Man's Chest last night and through the eternally long movie kept thinking about how organ music is creepy.

That's how you spell Chicago.

These were all made on the last day of the PLM class at the McCrone Research Institute in Chicago.

Sunday night after arriving at the hotel I unpacked my things so I wasn't living out of a suitcase like I usually do on trips.

Neat!

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Your Eyes Should Be Brown

So, remember how I went to crime scene school so I could be put on this special list that lets me go out and actually work crime scenes?

Tuesday evening I went to dinner at the oldest Italian restaurant in Chicago called The Italian Village.

When I got up this morning and headed for the shower, I decided I'd weigh myself on the way.

Again, in summarized list form because, once again, I am lazy.

Someone help!

I wanted to just point out that the date today is kinda cool, no?

Awesome.

We all know her.

Right along side of Million Dollar Baby… we have World Trade Center. Two movies that you should see once and only once.

Okay, so kill me, I hate Outkast's song Hey Ya.

Which Of The Seven Deadly Sins Are You?

I totally brought home two Science and a Discover magazine from work today.

So, I got a call today while at work from the Phoenix Police asking me if I was still interested in the Forensic Scientist job I applied for back in October of 2005.

Saint Exupery's The Little Prince Quiz

This here is Lily Allen.

One of my coworkers had been on vacation all last week and had evidence sitting at her bench the entire time she was gone.

So, between me and my coworker... today we got pissed off at the flies and brought their reign of terror to an end.

"I am guaranteeing that Snakes on a Plane will win best movie next year."

So, I know Death Cab For Cutie has been around for a while - as I've had their music downloaded on my computer for some time - but I finally thought I'd peruse the collection of "new downloads" I have on my computer from well over the past six months and finally listen to them.

I'm ranting.

Hey, look, I finally got around to developing my pictures from Chicago!

Well, it's official.

So, tonight I went to a free screening of Shut Up and Sing about the Dixie Chicks.

I'm currently back near the top of the list for getting called out on crime scenes.

Someone should have warned me that there are 400 billion spiders in Missouri before I moved here.

Spider-Busters!

Yep, I'm that bored again.

Today must be a statewide holiday for everyone with a Missouri license plate.

Today I found out that my DNA's finally been run at the lab in case I end up contaminating anything.

Recently astronomers decided to boot Pluto from our solar system and downgrade its status as an official planet.

Look over here!

Guess who I saw on TV for the first time in ages while watching the Emmys tonight.

No one remembered.

So, I rented season one and watched it.

As I sat down in the bathroom, I noticed a bug of some sort crawling along my pajama pants.

So, they've finally started construction on my old undergrad science building, well loved Garber.

Here’s what I remember of the Renaissance Festival: It was magic.

You Are a Life Blogger!

For some unknown reason there was a photographer from the Kansas City Star at the Lee's Summit Hospital this evening while I was taking my first aid training class.

Blech.

"Shawnee Mission KIA, just a short drive. Shawnee Mission Parkway and I-35."

Please read that headline again and note how it is just saturated and dripping with the most sarcasm you have ever heard in your entire life.

Soooo... maybe this is where all my brain cells went.

Your Bumper Sticker Should Be

The forces of evil combined in my apartment today.

I went to the air show today.

While in the sun, if you know you're getting burnt and are already in pain, yet continue to stay in the sun... you're probably in store for a miserable existence in the coming days.

Ha Ha!!

Today at work everyone I saw had a comment for me… from "Man, you look really red," to "What the hell did you do to yourself?" to "What were YOU doing this weekend?"

I'm leaving out a Chipotle burrito and a Dr Pepper tonight, just like milk and cookies for Santa.

I've been "busy" recently and haven't posted anything for your reading pleasure.

On Friday morning a transformer blew at work causing the power to go out.

Ummm…

I got called out on scene last night at midnight.

I just got home from Trivia Night up at O'Dowd's in Zona Rosa.

Basically, Blog has become my own little scrapbook.

Okay, so I'm going to try to watch Survivor this season and Blog about it, by request (much like the US Olympic Curling team did back in February).

Okay, so I know you're not really going to believe this... but I was robbed today.

I'll be out of town in Ankeny, Iowa until Wednesday evening.

I finally figured it out - The reason that CSI is so unrealistic for me.

I'm doing this as a public service for EVERYONE.

Okay, so I don't have a whole lot of things to say about Survior this week.

I made zucchini bread this evening.

What the World Needs Now... is hugs, FREE HUGS!

So American Eagle is running these aerie ads in conjunction with Gilmore Girls and Veronica Mars (the reasons to be alive on Tuesdays, and the only thing I watch on the network).

The cricket that could easily win a world record for the loudest chirp is currently residing somewhere in the deep recesses of my kitchen.

By Greg Small

Stranger than Fiction

Lauren Graham was on Studio 60 tonight and will be on the show again next week.

So, Thursday at 8am I'm lecturing at crime scene school for an hour on sexual assault evidence - preservation, recovery, concerns, lab capabilites, etc. Remember back in June when I attended crime scene school? Yeah, same one.

I had my first Irish car bomb tonight.

I drove my car to the automatic carwash today because it was dirty.

Tonight I'll be at UMKC's indoor track walking around in 18 oblong circles.

I killed another spider in my apartment recently.

I'll be out of town for the next week attending the Advanced Polarized Light Microscopy course offered by McCrone Research Institute.

Erin Daniels lives on.

I heard about this on the radio today.

This is slightly overdue, but… I got to drive around an unmarked police car this past week.

For the past several days I've had the Veronica Mars theme song (We Used To Be Friends - The Dandy Warhols) stuck firmly in my brain.

If you're voting in KC and haven't taken the time to look at some of the things that are showing up on your ballot tomorrow, here's a brief and non-encompassing overview of some of the issues:

I'm blogging to you from a remote undisclosed location where, through my indigo colored classes, I see the Democrats taking majority control over both the House and the Senate and Republicans consecutively thanking God during their concession speeches.

Yes, I jumped the gun last night (or rather, early this morning) in reporting the winners of the Senate race.

I actually thought I was going crazy tonight.

Hey!

I helped a 15 year old figure out how to do her algebra homework this evening because she missed her last class.

I'm getting the biggest, meanest, scariest dog that money can buy.

Today I purchased renter's insurance and got a dead bolt installed on my back door.

My new roommate moved in this afternoon and Thor, reluctantly moved on to his next security job.

I may have accidentally named my dog.

What I really need is a better camera that doesn't have a broken self timer.

Remy didn't pack a single thing for the trip to Texas.

Here are a few photos from the holiday.

I was just listening to the news and the weather came on.

Obviously I have a good father.

I had a dream that I was at the airport with my dog and I lost her.

I should really start watching the news.

Not much else for me to add to this brilliance.

Remy lulled me into a false sense of secuirty this week.

Blogger's been bugging me to update to their new system for the past... oh... 2 months?

She really is a watchdog!

Tonight I paid off my credit card.

I just watched a teaser for the new Harry Potter flick.

Yesterday I turned in my very first crime scene report and diagrams from the scene I went out to... ooooh, two months ago and worried that there would need to be many corrections made to it.

Today I got sucked into YouTube for... well, frankly, hours.

I've been doing a lot of reading at work recently since the lab is currently under construction.

1. I had to get the computer guru at work to help me fix a little problem I made for myself when I inadvertently changed a folder option in control panel that I shouldn't have.

This just in from your friendly neighborhood criminalist: I'm a criminalIST, not a criminal!

My dog is wagging her tail in her sleep.

I was looking over 2005 year end numbers the other day at work because I got an email from one of the task force meetings focused on sexual assaults in the state of Missouri.

I suppose everyone that does this sort of feels the same when they get the results.

I'm not a thoughtful or ambitious person, but many of the people I know are.

Remember how I said that Kansas City was the place to be not too long ago? Well... oops.

I went to the Cowboy Mouth concert on Thursday night in Kansas City at the VooDoo Lounge in Harrah's Casino.

Oh! I nearly forgot!

Mom, mumbling under her breath as she peers into the refrigerator: "This is a crisis. This is a ketchup crisis. The great ketchup crisis of two thousand and six."

And she's totally right, too.

Probably the worst thing that I could have gotten for Christmas was a digital camera with video capabilities.


End Blog.

Consolation Prize

I finally testified today. It went remarkably smoothly. There were the usual "Ummm..."s on my part, but overall, I think I did alright. It was on the higher end of "good". The quality assurance manager observed my testimony and I got a nod from him as I walked out. In my book, coming from him, that's a really good thing. And now, I'm all done for the year. Even if I testify again this year, he doesn't need to go observe.

Go me. First at the lab to testify in court this year.

And when I returned to the lab today, I had a huge stack of business cards sitting on my desk.

Hooray!!

I ordered them probably around 3 months ago. I wish that they were white, but apparently that's not something we can have. Because I requested white. But they are speckled grey with blue print. Ah, well. It's better than not having any.

They make me happy. Business cards! I've never had business cards before.

Along with all my contact information, they say:

Nikki Blackwell, MFS
Criminalist
Trace Evidence

Besides my CV, that's probably the only time I've ever put MFS after my name. I still think it's spiffy. I guess I should after how much I "paid" for it... (for the rest of my life).

And to top off today, construction was finally finished in the lab. Finito. Done. Tomorrow we clean and move back in. I finally see casework in my future!

Things are getting back to normal. They are good. I am good. My mood has uplifted. And I have a three day weekend coming up. Right now I'm going to ignore the fact that I have to give a 4 hour lab tour to the public on Saturday and bask in the glory of today.

Today was a really good day.


End Blog.

Testimony

I'd like to tell you about my very first day of court testimony, ever.

Really, I would.

But I STILL haven't testified yet.

That's right. I was at the Clay County Courthouse from 10am-5pm today and I didn't even get on the witness stand. I'm slated to be there at 9:15am tomorrow. If I don't get on before lunch, I'll be very unhappy.

Hell, I'm already very unhappy. And cranky. So, I'll keep this short.

I forgot the book I bought. Therefore, I had nothing to do all day. There's only so many times you can look at the case file and mentally prepare. And it's not like I'm allowed to go watch other people's testimony. So, I was forced to sit on an uncomfortable bench outside the courtroom... all day.

I think the defense attorney is making everyone's life miserable. I'm not looking forward to tomorrow. And I'm also wearing the same clothes. Because I'm starting to not care about this... which is wrong. I need to calm down and not be annoyed when I get over there tomorrow so I don't get defensive on the stand.

Therefore, I'm taking a nap. Because even though I did absolutely nothing today, it was the most stressful nothing I've ever done.


End Blog.

A Random Sort of Day

We had our yearly mandatory lab-wide meeting today. It lasted three and a half hours. There was some good information and I learned what was going on in other sections so it wasn't bad, it was just… long. When my supervisor got up to talk about his section, he said that since I started back in March, there's been no holding me back. It came off as a really nice compliment, and I think it's mostly true. I mean, I do like to learn stuff.

He also mentioned that today was my first day of court testimony, ever, so I got lots or questions about my case from coworkers, but with that went lots of well wishes and "good luck"s. The lab is such a friendly bunch.

That being said, after the meeting, I ate lunch and sort of freaked out, preparing for testimony. Then I got a call from the prosecutor pushing my time back to 4pm. The guy that did the DNA on my samples and I left at 3:15 to drive up to the courthouse and on the way got a call that we weren't going on today and would have to go tomorrow at 10am instead.

Whew. Big sigh of relief… but now I have more problems. I need to dress for court again. I decided instead of trying to put together something from my wardrobe I'd just go to the mall and purchase something new. JC Penny had amazing sales. Of course, they didn't have much in my size. (Which, by the way, is a 4. I was not aware of this.)

I finally settled on a blue suit because it was the only one that fit semi-decently and was suitable for court. I also bought two button down shirts and another black jacket that's not quite nice enough for court and possibly too dressy to dress down with jeans. But it was cute and under 14 bucks. I have a job now, I can do things like that.

So, I spent like $108.something, but I saved $115 because it was all on sale. Unfortunately, buying a blue suit caused more problems. The only nice dress shoes I have are black. A quick call to one of my "girls-who-isn't-fashionably-challenged" confirmed my suspicions. I needed to buy blue shoes.

After visiting five shoe stores, I finally found a pair of navy shoes that fit my tiny feet. They're not all that wonderful looking and they're not all that comfortable, but they were the ONLY navy shoes I found that fit. At this point in the night, I didn't give a damn what they looked like. I'm only ever going to wear them with this suit. And you know what? I don't even know if the color really matches… but… well, I'm a fashion disaster. People will just have to get over it. There's nothing more I can do.

So, as a reward, I bought myself Ender's Shadow, off of a friend's recommendation. I loved Ender's Game back in the day and read the whole series… but somehow missed the fact that Orson Scott Card had followed that up with a spin-off from Bean's perspective. So, I'll be reading that just as soon as I finish In Cold Blood, which has been pretty good so far. The book's better than the movie about writing the book. Actually, maybe the movie will be better after I finish the book and know what the movie's about.

Anyway… this is way long.

It's been a kinda frustrating day. I spent most of it being anxious about court that I didn't go to. And now I'm tired. So, in sum, here's what I learned today:

1. I'm a size 4.
2. They don't make many navy shoes and apparently in the whole world there's only like 4 pairs in my size.
3. I hate shopping.
4. Lawyers lie.

Oh, yeah… I also got a follow up call from North Patrol today about my break in back in November. Nothing new to report, they just wanted to check in, I guess. So, that was weird too.

But, it's now 9:00. I need to eat. Sucky sucky long ass day.

End Blog.

2007: The Year of Slackerdom

Alright, so we're a week into the new year and you've not hear a peep from me. Frankly, nothing's going on. I'd like to keep it like that. It's quiet and nice and relaxing.

This past week I've been super happy to have some "me" time and stay in. While I like my friends here, I haven't been interested in really leaving my house much since New Year's Eve.

Ah, New Year's Eve... we won't go into the diabolicalness of that evening. Let's just say there was alcohol, and I was all over the map. I talked to my best friend twice, once at her midnight and once at mine. East-coasters, I really do miss you all. During those phone calls I went from laughter to tears to laughter several times within a matter of seconds. I mean, I love my life - but people back "home" should still be a part of it. I hate being so far away.

Other than that, I've resubmerged myself into the internet. It may sound sad and uninteresting, but I have met so many good friends through a fanforum. So, I don't care how lame you think I am. =) They make me happy. And really, they were the people who kept me most sane during the time I was in DC and working at Target. So, I will forever be indebted to them.

And finally, there's work. Or lack of work. We've been out of the lab due to construction for a month now. I miss casework. I really want to get back into the lab and DO something. A lot. Meanwhile, I'm reading and researching and learning things about fibers and the FT-IR. And waiting to see if I get into the FBI class on hairs and fibers in Quanitco. The FBI Academy! Which, truely, if you know me well, you know I only care because I want to go see where Jodie Foster ran through the obstacal course in Silence of the Lambs. But, no word yet. But hey - DCers - there's a slight possibility I'll be in town March 19-30. FYI...

I had my yearly evalution on Friday. It was glowing. Like A+, gold shiny star, glowing. I love my job. I love my boss. He said some really nice things about me. Hooray!

In other work related news, I testify in court... TOMORROW. I've been ignoring that fact because it's scary. I'm waiting until tonight to go over all my questions that I got in pre-trial again, and letting the real freak out take place tomorrow morning. (I don't have to be at court until 3pm.) I like ignoring. Ignoring keeps me sane. I think a lot of this quiet week has mostly been ignoring.

I could live like this.


End Blog.

From Texas to Missouri

Probably the worst thing that I could have gotten for Christmas was a digital camera with video capabilities. Because I will abuse that privilage from now on.

This is a video blog (vlog) of my trip home from my parent's house. It is one of the most boring and sleep inducing drives I've ever made. This is mostly due to the fact that I only have Remy to talk to and she just sleeps the whole time. I envy her.

I'd tell you to enjoy this little production, but I'm not sure if that's possible. It might not so much be "enjoyable" as "sad" or "painful to watch". But, I know that the people who haven't seen me in a year might like to remember that I'm still a dork. And this is the best way to really show that.



That was fascinating. I turned an 8.5 hour trip into 5.5 minutes. If only that's all it took...

I will torture you in the future with more inane things such as this. Unless my life suddenly gets exciting.

You're so lucky!!


End Blog.

My Mom Thinks This is Funny

And she's totally right, too. I admit it. It is funny.

Merry Christmas to me.

End Blog.

Christmas Eve Dilemma

Mom, mumbling under her breath as she peers into the refrigerator:

"This is a crisis. This is a ketchup crisis. The great ketchup crisis of two thousand and six."

Stores are closed for the holiday. We have little ketchup and need for cocktail sauce. I'm not sure if we'll survive without it. Oh, the horror!


Trust me, the was the funniest thing I've seen in a while.

I love my mom. =)


End Blog.

Tablet PC

Oh! I nearly forgot!

I played with a tablet PC at work on Thursday for... well, all day. It's a little weird to get used to and if you really want everything to be in text format it would probably be faster to type it, which you can still do if you want to (unless you have really nice handwriting. I, however, still use capital letters in the middle of sentences when I'm writing and it doesn't always fix that issue - though I was surprised by how many things it figured out on it's own. The people who built that software - or whatever - did an amazing job).

So, the features where you actually get to write and draw pictures and stuff? Very cool. It could completely replace our bench notes and notebooks. I'm so ready to go paperless. I kinda want one. Okay, I really want one.

The only thing that sucks is the glare on the tablet when you're actually in the lab. The lighting in there isn't really ideal. And we are getting new lighting, but who's to say that it won't make it worse?

Plus, who knows if they'll actually shell out the money for this stuff. I mean, this would make us almost as cool as those CSI shows. I mean... Technology!!

Someone should really get on inventing all the cool gagetry the crime shows have. And then make it affordable for government agencies.

You could be millionaires!

Call me, I'll be your consultant for a percentage of the profits. And a tablet PC.


End Blog.

Throwing Things in a Cowboy's Mouth

I went to the Cowboy Mouth concert on Thursday night in Kansas City at the VooDoo Lounge in Harrah's Casino. It's a small venue with bars on either side of the place (not like metal bars, but like the kind that serve you alcohol). It's quite nice for seeing small shows.

However...

I was kinda upset with the crowd. They were throwing things at the band. Tossing the tootsierolls wouldn't have been a bad thing, but... c'mon... you didn't need to throw 12 million at them. And, it wasn't even on the stage. People were literally trying to hit them! Even I was annoyed and I wasn't trying to play music for them. If it had been me, I'd have stopped the show and left. As it was, they didn't even play Hurricane Party, so there was no reason to be throwing tootsierolls in the first place. And I kind of hate you for doing it because I think they would have played that song otherwise. And it's such a fun song.

Although, I do wish they would have played Irish Boy as well. That would have been a super fun song to sing in a crowd.

I know I'm showing my age since I'm complaining about this concert... but, someone totally pegged me in the back of the head with an ice cube as well. It hurt. A lot. I think my head is likely bruised from it because I still have a sore spot where it hit. I'm fragile. People shouldn't chuck ice at my head. Seriously.

But, I suppose it was fun all the same. Especially since I got to see Bren and Sam. Me loves them lots. (As does Remy.)

But what wasn't fun was only getting 4.5 hours of sleep and then going to work and driving to Texas afterwards. I was very tired. But, look! Here I am blogging from Texas in one piece. Hooray.


End Blog.

Weekend, Bloody Weekend

Remember how I said that Kansas City was the place to be not too long ago? Well... oops.

This weekend (after a rather slow two months) there were 11 homicides. Eleven!

Nothing says "holiday cheer" like murder.

On the bright side, these 11 deaths happened at only two major events. A quadruple homicide and a septuple(?) homicide.

There was also another group of 7 killed in Kirksville, MO this weekend, but thankfully our lab had nothing to do with that one.

Isn't it great that we're currently under construction and can't do lab work? Yeah... it's awesome.


In other news, I got a subpoena today. If there isn't a plea bargain or a continuance or anything, I'll be testifying on January 8th. I'm not really looking forward to it. Everyone, keep your fingers crossed for me until then.

End Blog.

Sending Christmas Cards

I'm not a thoughtful or ambitious person, but many of the people I know are. I've gotten several Christmas cards from friends so far this month. I'm happy that they think of me, but it also makes me feel sort of bad for not being one of those people that takes the time to send cards. I should. But I didn't. Mostly, I suck.

But this, of all cards, has been my favorite so far.

Simplistic. Normal. Cute.

Except... when I took it out of the envelope, it was not upright. Therefore, this is not the card I saw. No, it didn't merely say "joy" on it. Oh no.

This is the card I saw instead:

One that says "ho!" This, my friends, is a brilliant card.

Needless to say, since I was holding this card upside down, it opened backwards and confused me. Then the writing inside was all upside down. Which confused me even more.

I imagine that I looked like a chimpanzee holding this card and trying to figure out its intricacies.

So, Candra, thank you. For sending this particular card to me, and for taking the time to send it at all.

And for all my friends out there... May you have joy (ho!) this holiday season and a very merry new year.

Please forgive the slacker in me and know that I care for all of you.

I hope this message brings you holiday cheer.

Because I'm a dumbass.


End Blog.

Famous People I Don't Look Like

I suppose everyone that does this sort of feels the same when they get the results.

And that is: "I look nothing like these people."

And that's exactly why they're celebrities and you're not. Totally makes sense when you put it in that persepctive, huh?

But... yeah. I look nothing like these people. Otherwise, I could be an Oscar winning actress.

The internet is such a cool place to waste time, isn't it? I should be doing laundry.


End Blog.

Kansas City - The Place to Be

I was looking over 2005 year end numbers the other day at work because I got an email from one of the task force meetings focused on sexual assaults in the state of Missouri. Last year there were 1369 reported rapes in the state. According to national statistics, it's been claimed that nearly 60% of rapes are never reported.

From that statement I'd give you an estimate of the total number of rapes that have occured in the state in 2005, but that sounds a whole lot like math. So, if you're really interested, knock yourself out. (I actually jotted a few numbers down an attempted this, but I'm not sure the number I produced is in any way correct. Though, if you're curious as to how bad my math is, I came up with 3423 total sexual assaults.)

Anyway, in looking over all the information, I've discovered something important. And that is this:

If you're going to get raped, do it in Kansas City. We have nearly 4 times the amount of resources (Sexual Assualt Nurse Examiners) here than in St. Louis. In fact, if you add up all the resources available in all the different regions of the state, Kansas City has more than all of them combined.

So, don't get raped anywhere else. You know... as if you had control over such things.

What a happy, uplifting blog I've produced here. I'm sorry I had such a need to tell you this.

I promise something more upbeat soon.


End Blog.

Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

My dog is wagging her tail in her sleep.

It's kinda weird.


End Blog.

Holiday Fraud Alert

This just in from your friendly neighborhood criminalist: I'm a criminalIST, not a criminal!

(Or, for all of you who never thought about it before, here's wonderful new information on how you, too, can become a criminal.)

If you buy holiday gift cards from a display rack this holiday season, beware. You may become a victim of theft. People have started jotting down card numbers in the store while waiting in line to check out and then, in a few days, they call to see how much of a balance they have on your card. Once they know the card has been activated and there’s money to be spent, they start shopping online. It’s suggested that if you want to purchase a gift card to do so directly from a customer service representative where the cards are not viewable to the public.

Also, remember to keep your purchases out of view by locking them in your trunk (I don't have a trunk!) and to keep your receipts and items separately so they aren’t stolen and returned for cash or gift cards. If the store’s policy is to credit your charge card (if that’s how it was purchased), it’s suggested to give the old plastic a little use as another deterrent.


Happy holidays. Enjoy Consumerism at its best.


End Blog.

Things You Don't Care About

1. I had to get the computer guru at work to help me fix a little problem I made for myself when I inadvertently changed a folder option in control panel that I shouldn't have. It required a registry edit to fix. I was scared. I hope I never have to do a registry edit ever again. Computers are just supposed to work. By magic.

2. My DVD drive doesn't always read DVDs I put in there. Some of the rented ones aren't even recognized. Obviously I've done something horrible to Freddy in my efforts to clean up hard drive space previously. If I get this fixed (if you know what's wrong, tell me!) I'll never have to worry about it again.

Edited to add: Sweet! I did a system restore and fixed this problem! Of course, I think I shouldn't have picked a date so far back because I had so many new updates to re-download. But I think I have my computer working all properly again. I'm sure it would read those Wonderfalls DVDs now! Just a bit more minor tweaking to do... Hoorah!

3. Okay, maybe not NEVER, but I have some time on my hands, for sure. I just got a 500GB external hard drive. My computer's never looked so empty.

4. Due to time and budgetary constraints, I get to paint my workplace tomorrow. That's right! They're letting us pick up brushes and paint so that we can repaint our lab cigarette smoker's yellow! (The paint is free because we have gallons of it already at our disposal.) This is actually exciting for me. I don't have a problem painting... and it's going to be such a lovely deviation from reading my training materials for fibers and the FT-IR. Plus, I don't have to dress nice. That's always a bonus.

5. My printer's working again! (It's amazing what a trip to Best Buy will do.) I have new ink. It's so expensive. Next time it might just be cheaper to buy a new printer.

6. I have credit card debt again. (It's amazing what a trip to Best Buy will do.) It shouldn't take too long to pay off though. Man, those two weeks were nice, we're they? I bet it wasn't even two weeks...

7. I think I'm going to see Apocalypto tonight. I really had no desire until I read the reviews for it. Now I think it might be interesting. And really gory. And it'll be really fun to watch Beth watching it.

Edited to add: It's always fun to watch movies with Beth! *Whispering* "I don't like the scary monkey!" (You probably had to be there.) The movie was... well, I expected better quality from Mr. Gibson. Let's just say the make up and special effects won't be winning any awards. There was some ridculousness going on. It made me laugh... but I don't think it was supposed to. At least, not where I was laughing.


Okay. I think that's it for this installment of things you don't care about.

End Blog.

You Learn Something New Everyday

I've been doing a lot of reading at work recently since the lab is currently under construction. It seemed like a good time to go ahead with my fiber training and getting familiar with the FT-IR (Fourier Transform Infrared). I knew I'd be learning a lot about this topic and that I'd likely find it interesting.

And you know what happens when I learn things? That's right! You do too.

For example:

There are many man-made fibers that come from natural compounds. I didn’t know this. I assumed man-made meant synthetic. However, this is not the case. Let's look at rayon. What I always assumed to be some sort of synthetic chemical turned magically into fabric is nothing but wood cellulose that comes from pine, spruce, and eucalyptus trees. This cellulose is somehow dissolved in an aqueous solution and extruded through holes of a spinneret into filaments with a stretch spinning process.

Clothes. Made from wood! It's not just for paper anymore.

Who fricken knew?


Also, I read this little tidbit that was really encouraging:

"It is quite ludicrous to expect that it would be practical, or serve any useful purpose, to attempt to determine the origin of all extraneous fibers found present on a garment. This is sometimes suggested in court as a practical and sensible solution."

That last sentence actually made me laugh. Because I know it's true. Man, I'm going to hate court so much!


That is, unless it produces something like this. I mean, really, Supreme Court, I love you. This is nearly poetry. At least, it is for me. You all might not find the beauty in it like I do. But really… moving.

Wherever he steps, whatever he touches, whatever he leaves, even unconsciously, will serve as silent witness against him. Not even his fingerprints or his footprints, but his hair, the fibers from his clothes, that glass he breaks, the tool marks he leaves, the paint he scratches, the blood or semen he deposits – all of these bear mute witness against him. This is evidence that does not forget. It is not confused by the excitement of the moment. It is not absent because human witnesses are. It is factual evidence. Physical evidence cannot be wrong; it cannot perjure itself; it cannot be wholly absent – only its interpretation can err. Only human failure to find it, study and understand it, can diminish its value.
(Harris v. United States, 331 US 145, 1947)


Here's to me not diminishing value.

End Blog.

English Laughter

Today I got sucked into YouTube for... well, frankly, hours. It's a frightening sort of addictive personality I have. Luckily I've never tried drugs because I'm sure that I'd be checked out of rehab and dead by now.

Anyway, I stumbled onto Paperlilies channel. I'm not sure why I was so enthralled there. Was it the English accent? Was it the random content? Was it that she slighty, in the oddest sense, reminded me of Drew Barrymore/Sara Rue? Was it the few times where she vlogged in an American accent? I have no idea.

But, seeing as how this was near the end of her video section, and after I had watched countless of her videos, I think I may have gone temporarily insane. (Someone spiked the vids!) Because I could not, and I mean could NOT, stop laughing at this:





I feel we would be fast friends. We have the same sense of humor and both think we're geeks.


And oh, the out takes!




So, Bryony, thanks. Even though I didn't ask for your permission to post you on my blog. Isn't the internet a crazy thing?

I suppose that's what happens when we put ourselves out there.


End Blog.

Homicide, Life in the Lab

Yesterday I turned in my very first crime scene report and diagrams from the scene I went out to... ooooh, two months ago and worried that there would need to be many corrections made to it. But, turns out, I'm a report writing machine, Baby. I received this email today from the sergeant (excluding case info and his name and such):

Nikki,
Your homicide report was very good and I approved it today. Let me know when you’re tired of the warm, dry lab environment and I’ll get you a spot on Dogwatch down here.


Doesn't he just make you feel all warm and fuzzy? I'm glad he likes my work enough to try to steal me away, but he doesn't really want me on dogwatch. I mean, I complain about how cold the interior of the lab is; I would not work well outdoors in winter time.

But I would like a pair of the awesome blue cargo pants the CSTs wear as uniforms. Though, I'm sure I'm the only one.

It's been a while, so I'll say it again, just to make sure there are no doubts.

Man, I love my job.


End Blog.

Potter

I just watched a teaser for the new Harry Potter flick. Things of note:

1. The boys finally cut their hair. Thank goodness.

2. It's coming out Friday, July 13th, 2007 - Not near Thanksgiving. Hoorah! Four months earlier than I thought and on a Friday the 13th.

3. Snape! Yay Snape! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! They can hate him all they want. I know he's a good guy.


Check it out.


End Blog.

Credit Where Credit's Due

Tonight I paid off my credit card. Completely. I have absolutely no credit debt. Not one red cent.

My computer, all those darn bridesmaid dresses, the many airline tickets to Texas and Missouri, my bed, and any other miscellaneous "Mmmm, I can't really afford that" thing I needed when I was in DC (And we are talking about need, not want)... it's all paid for.

It makes me want to go out and buy something ridiculous and expensive. Like a new digital camera or a laptop or a playstation or something. But, I won't.

Next year I'll finally be saving an almost decent amount of money from every paycheck. Finally. Maybe 26 is the year I'll grow up. =)

Of course, we're not mentioning the student loan debt. Maybe when I'm 65 and still posting on this thing you'll see me say, "I just paid off my education loans!" Shortly thereafter I'll probably retire. Or die. Or break a hip (I'm totally getting osteoporosis the way I drink Dr Pepper) and then have medical debt.

Anyway... it feels like a milestone. Now I have three credit cards with a balance of zero.

I'm cool like that.

(Doesn't this post heading sound like an episode title of Veronica Mars? I think I might watch too much TV.)


End Blog.

Edited to add: "Credit Where Credit's Due" is the title of Veronica Mars; Season 1, Episode 2. Confirmed. I do watch too much TV.

Watchdog

I think this is where Remy hangs out when I'm not around. I found her here today, just looking out the window.


She really is a watchdog!

Getting this picture wasn't easy. I had to sneak up on her and then just sort of guess where she was a) because it was dark and b) because the LCD screen on my camera doesn't work and I don't actually have a view finder.

So, should you come over and stay in my guest room, hope you don't mind dog hair. Because I think she's already claimed this room since she spends more time in it than I do.

(Photoshop really works wonders. You should have seen the poor quality of this image when I took it. Also, the new upgrade is waaaaay nicer for uploading photos. I no longer need two programs to do it!)

Beware everyone. Remy's on guard.


End Blog.

Upgraded

Blogger's been bugging me to update to their new system for the past... oh... 2 months? Maybe more. Today I decided that I'd finally just do it. Usually updating things leads to regret. Some feature that I love changes for the worse. Colors and style aren't the same. Fonts, icons, pictures... are all wrong.

For example, I just downloaded the update for Internet Explorer. It's all funky and cartoony now. I'm not pleased. Good thing I've been using Firefox almost exclusively for the last 9 months. I also just downloaded the update for Window's Media Player as well. The icons all changed. It's not the little round colorful circle anymore. It's an ugly blue flimstrip thing. Ick. I liked the look and style and feel of these things because it's what I knew. I don't like when things change and I'm too lazy to look into changing them back - if that's possible.

Thus, I didn't really want to upgrade blogger. But, I finally have after all this time. They wore me down with their constant "upgrade!".

Thankfully there are only a few minor things that have changed that I don't enjoy. Most of it was all for the better, and I will easily get used to all of it. So, that's why things look slightly different around here. But, mostly the same. Which I'm happy about.

I thought about changing the whole format, or maybe just the colors... but, I'm not really sure that I could handle it. I like the blue/green/tan scheme. It's purdy. And quite amazing that I liked it in the first place because it's a template that I didn't make any changes to.

Anyway... party on.


End Blog.