Someone Tell This Cricket We're Not in Asia

The cricket that could easily win a world record for the loudest chirp is currently residing somewhere in the deep recesses of my kitchen. He's excellent at hide and seek because I cannot find the damn thing. It's also extremely possible that he's a ventriloquist.

It's a male cricket, as his goddamned chirping won't stop. And because I like to keep my apartment warm, he's chirping LOTS. Although, stupid cricket, it's only 78 degrees in here, not 81 as you calculate (count how many times they chirp in 15 seconds and add 39).

Give up already. You're in my apartment. There are no female crickets here. Your calling is not helping. We're both alone. Got it?

I have no idea how people in China thought that keeping them as pets was somehow a good idea. Unless they had female crickets. They make for quieter companions.

Currently the only cricket I like is the toy cricket that sits on the dashboard of my car. He's the only one I consider good luck. And if I could find this damn thing, I'd kill it. Or at least shoo it outside to die in the 40 degree weather that snuck in unexpectedly.

Okay, maybe not... Guess what I just read on wikipedia.

In Barbados a loud cricket means money is coming, hence no one must kill or evict the cricket if it chirps inside a house.

Sigh. Guess he stays. Loudness and all. It'd be really cool if he'd start pulling his weight around here and kill a bunch of spiders for me though.

Shh, Crickey! It's bedtime!

End Blog.