Monday, August 18, 2008

Olympic Backyard Games

I love the Olympics. However, they are keeping me up past my bedtime and I have been really tired recently. Not only are they on television for slightly over four hours every night, but you can watch clips of things online any time you want, and stream some events live, as they happen. Not to mention newspapers and radio, but I try to stay away from them because they spoil you on events that haven't happened yet here in prime time because of the crazy China time difference.

That being said, I find myself watching the craziest things. Things I would not watch on tv if it weren't for the Olympics. Here is an example of things I would cruise past with my remote control:

Discus or shotput
Any sort of running in general
MEN'S field hockey (who knew this existed?)
Anything Equestrian (do they do anything other than make their horses walk in circles?)
Weightlifting (Ew, did you see that elbow?)
Table Tennis

I've also watched all sorts of gymnastics, swimming, diving, synchronized diving, rowing, beach volleyball, volleyball, softball, high jump (which I love, why is there not more of it?) and other more conventional things. I might watch some of these things even if it weren't for the Olympics.

But, out of all of these things, I think we need to focus a bit on the trampoline. Yes, trampoline is an Olympic sport, and in 2012 they are taking away softball. Men's field hockey is a sport! I can't even wrap my head around that. I hope they were kilts.

Anyway... I was talking about trampoline.

To be eligible to compete, you must be 18. I assume this is because you have to be of legal age to sign waivers in case you fall on your neck and become a paraplegic. There can't be any other explanations since 12 16 year olds can compete in gymnastics.

These men and women are thrust nearly 30 feet into the air as they jump and complete 10 elements in their routine. This sport is basically platform diving without water. ...Except sometimes, on purpose, they land on the bed of the trampoline flat on their backs or stomachs. And they have to stop with like, one jump and not fall over. I think.

You see, the only way I've managed to watch this sport is online. And when you watch those feeds, there are no commentators. It's like they just put some cameras there and you're spying on what's going on in the venues sometimes. Other times, there seems to be a real camera person, there just isn't anyone telling you want's going on.

Mostly, I just sit here wishing that they'll jump from one trampoline to the other. I'm sure the Olympic official judges would frown upon that and disqualify the athlete, but I think it would be pretty damn cool.

Also, this whole stromotion thing is ridiculous. Stop it! There's only one person up there jumping around! Stop fucking with my pea-sized brain. It's weird and unnecessary. I hate stromotion, and I hate it's dumb name.

Televise the men's trampoline finals in prime time!

End Blog.

PS - Holy crap, they're televising the women's finals tonight. And I already watched it online without commentary. I wonder if it was better or worse that way...

I know who wins!

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