Monday, August 18, 2008

Ninja Gymnastics Saves the Day

We all know that the American women are getting screwed in their gymnastic events. But what can we do? All of gymnastics was retooled not too long ago to make the scoring more uniform and unbiased. But it's obviously not working. It seems the home team always has some sort of advantage, regardless of the fact that a judge never scores their own country's athlete.

Relax, everyone. I have a solution to this problem. You know me, always making the world a better place.

Here it is, a simple change in the rules: All athletes will have to wear the same exact style and color uniform that covers them from head to toe, including over their faces so that the judges can't figure out who they are. They will each have a unique number on their uniform which will be drawn randomly from those lottery-type machines just before the competition. Therefore, all the judges will be unbiased. I suggest black. It's slimming. The judges should all be the best in the world at judging their sport, regardless of home nation.

Problem solved. It'll be like ninja gymnastics, and that's so much cooler anyway.

Viva la ninja gymnastics!

End Blog.

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