Wednesday, January 24, 2007

The Boot Prints of Doom

Look at all that doom. DOOM!

Right outside my window!

I should move because of all the doooooom!

So, if you see someone wearing boots with this tred, kill them for me, k?

End Blog.

Monday, January 22, 2007

Ice Capades

I was cleaning off the snow from my windshield this morning and as I pushed the snow to the ground, it fell all over me. Snow's cold.

Anyway, as I was walking around the front of my car to get back inside, I saw all this snow sitting on top of my shoes. So I thought I'd just stamp my feet a whole bunch and clean them off. I wish this moment had been captured on film.

Clearly, it was too early for me to be thinking. And, well, I sorta just jumped to stamp my feet at the same time. Into a big puddle of ice. (For lack of a better term) My feet landed, immedately gripped to nothing, and slid right off into the parking lot, the rest of my body following. It happened so fast, I didn't even have a chance to catch myself.

Feet slipped, I hit the ground on my left side - knee, hip, shouder, head. Oh yes. Head. I went right down. I bet it was utterly hilarious. No one saw it.

I think my hip might be bruised. It still kinda hurts, but everything else seems in order. At least I didn't break anything. That would have been bad.

Have I mentioned recently that I hate snow?

Because I do.

End Blog.

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Bet Max!!!

(Special Guest Blogger - Brenda the Ying and Yang of Luck)

Returning home from a night on the town of ole Kansas City there are two things that Nikki and I thought were blog worthy.

1) MB has washer fluid that jettisons outside of her car to wash off her headlights! This extreme cleaning action elicited gasps of pure geek-ing fascination from both Nik and I. Of course, the gasping from the two of us prompted MB to jump out of her car and yell that she indeed needed to witness the magical spectacle as well. Some may think that they have already heard of magical washer fluid, but they have not seen the amazing feat that the luxury vehicle that MB drives shows the public.

What better way to have others in traffic be envious of you than to show that you're bored and need your headlights to be cleaned off. I know I would hit the button and then look at the other cars from my elevated state (because I'm a luxury SUV with fantastic tire height as well) and waggle my eyebrows.

Most likely this would be followed by the noise, "Eh? Eh?" I do understand that the lowly peon would not hear this, but I would then gesture to how fantastic my car was and they would understand that they need to not let me merge into lanes because I was a) annoying and b) so fantastic that I'd find a way with my superior washer fluid shooters around them.


2) Kathy Griffin is again brillant!

Many are nodding their heads. Most are nodding vigoriously. Most are more correct than the many. (Isn't that sentence just annoying as hell?) So I had my de-virgin-izing of the casino this evening at the lovely Ameristar in Kansas City, which is but a stone's throw away from Nik's apartment.

And by stone I mean a pebble being thrown by a giant, most likely Goliath, because he likes doing that.

As we enter into the land of lights and whistles I as ADHD as I am can't concentrate. Because.... lights and whistles.

After we finally settle down at some crazy penny slot machine called "Great White" I proceed to show the Yin of my Luck. This being the bad luck... and I own it, I'm that bad. As I finally am down to the remaining ten cents one of my friends gave me to gamble I called and she gave the fantastic 'bet it' advice. I did, ladies and gents, lose all my ten dollars.

While MB and Nik didn't. They won over twenty. Each. Can you feel my lips purse and grimace occur at the same time. Yes? Good then we'll move on.

Craps followed as MB tried to let me know what was going on. I understood that you got chips and you placed them on felt and people rolled dice. I nodded when appropriate, but really I was there to listen to people yell and say things like, "I ain't fraid of no ghosts!" Which amused me every single time the gentlemen would say it.

We tracked down a slot machine with a pulley that I could giggle and crank down on.

After Nik played Cops and Doughnuts and giggled herself silly, while MB and I were baffled by the crazy game we played we moved on and spent a good while at video poker. Where thankfully, it took me a lot longer to lose some money.

Remember when I said Kathy Griffin is brillant? It's because at anytime this could be heard out of Nik or I... we then got MB to say it as well. "Bet Max!" Which would be followed by fake smoking and swizzling of a straw in our drink.

As we left I exclaimed that there were penny slots that looked fun. I started to bet safe.

Nik did not. She would continue to "Bet Max!!!" and actually won 25.00.

I was not doing so well, as I was sitting in between MB and Nik, allowing them to win and continuing to be bad luck, to myself.

I decided that I only had 14.00 and I tried to bet Nik that in three "Bet Max(es)!" I would not win. Because I am the yin of luck.

I was going to Bet Max, while saying it, every. single. time. until I zero'ed out.

Funny thing about losing complete hope and just trying to make yourself laugh. You make money.

Return on the money you lost, recoup your dinner costs, and then some.

Kathy Griffin rocks.

End Nikki's Blog.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

The Never Ending Reservoir

Having your first car as a 1967 Mustang teaches you many of life's important driving lessons. It does not, however, teach you certain things. Such as: a whole bottle of washer fluid does't even begin to fill your entire washer fluid reservoir thingie. Who knew? I kept pouring and pouring and pouring into this tall, skinny, little thing and it... just never got full. I never even saw the top of the liquid, and all of a sudden I had poured the whole darn thing in there. I kinda felt like a magician.

I have no idea where all that blue fluid went, kids! Watch me pull a rabbit from my motor!

Of course, you have to remember that in my first car, the washer fluid sprayer consisted of me sticking my hand out of my side window with a bottle of windex. Eventually when I upgraded to the real workings of a the pedal at my foot that would work my washer and wipers, the little tank that held the liquid was tiny. I thought they were all like that!

They are not.

I have absolutely no idea how much that thing holds. It completely fascinates me!

Magic! Right there, hiding in my car the whole time!

I'm now assuming that they've never topped off that fluid when I got my oil changed, even though they said they did. I've been running off of the same washer fluid for two and a half years. I'm beginning to think that maybe my car can hold more washer fluid than gas at this point.

I'm telling you... amazing thing, that is. I've come a long way from my bottle of windex. (Oh, how I remember how much fun that was in the rain!)

*hugs crazy magical car*

End Blog.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Sinking Feeling

Dude, my calves are freezing. That whole thing about hot air rising is so true. The rest of my body is fine. My calves and feet are popsciles. I've taken to sitting Indian style in my chair and lowering it as far as possible so my knees fit under the desk. I'm quite short now. But my legs are thawing.

I wonder if my dog is cold laying on the floor. I think I might worry about her too much.

It's way cold here. The low tonight is -1. But it might get all the way up to 27 tomorrow!

End Blog.

AIM Update


Last night I said I was going to avoid this update because I heard mumblings of people trying to "figure it out". When people say that, I know that there's a huge change coming. Everyone who uses AIM regularly shouldn't have to "figure out" anything. Avoid it, I told myself.

Today when I came home, my computer was off. OFF! I also had to reset all my cable channels on my TV, so through my amazing deductive skills, I postulated that the power went out here today at some point. Although none of my clocks were blinking.

Anyway, upon restarting my computer, AIM asked me if I wanted to update. Did I remember the grumblings from the previous evening? Of course not! So, I updated AIM. What a foolish mistake.

Why is it that the more cartoony something looks, the better it's supposed to be? I feel like I should have big clown hands to use this. I HATE the new look. I hate the new size of the window. I hate just about every single feature. It's ugly. And I can't make the window any smaller. Do you know why this is bad? Because I keep it docked on the right hand side of my screen... eternally. Yes, it had ruined the right side of my screen, but it doesn't matter because it's always there. But you know what? It doesn't fit in its spot anymore. That's right, the smallest you can make the damn window is a good 8mm bigger than it should be.

Yes, I'm complaining over 8mm. On a computer screen, it's a big deal. Plus, I only have a 15 inch monitor anyway. I like my 15 inch monitor. But I want those 8mm back. Screw you, AIM. The windows are all... they're just wrong. They have stupid rounded corners and they're too big and... the whole thing just sucks.

I hate change. There was NOTHING WRONG with the previous version. It looked like my classic windows. And now it's all completely different. I hate it. Hate hate hate hate. I don't like the new icons. I don't like the little Zzz thing that comes up when people are idle. I don't like that the menus have changed. I have to "figure it out" all over again.

I was also upset that I had to restore all of my preferences.


I'm sure I'll get used to this. Eventually. But I won't be happy about it. Just so you know.

End Blog.

Still Waitin' On That Global Warming

When I arrived at work this morning it was 2 degrees outside. I’m not even exaggerating. That was the actual temperature. With the wind chill it felt like -9. The roads were fine, but the parking lots at both my apartment and at work were total sheets of ice. I came very close to falling several times. But, I did not. Sorry to ruin that visual you were forming.

When I let Rem out this morning, she took forever to pick the perfect spot. This annoys me to no end on freezing cold mornings such as this. I’m not a morning person. I hate cold weather. I’m very impatient in this regard. It just doesn’t matter where you go, Rem. It doesn’t matter.

But, this morning, as we were looking for said spot, even she was cold. She started shivering and lifting her little feet like she didn’t want to put them back down in the snow. Even her whiskers were frozen. Well, duh. Be quick about it and you get to go back inside where it’s warm. Sometimes I wonder how smart she is.

For example: She got a stuffed bear for Christmas. She likes said stuffed bear. She plays with said stuffed bear. We play with said stuffed bear together. I say the word bear all the time in conjunction with this toy. Anytime I ask her where her bear is when it’s not around, she brings me a bone. Not a bear, a bone. Maybe she can’t hear well. Maybe she likes to completely ignore me.

Maybe she just thinks it’s fun to annoy me. It probably is. I mean, lots of people do it. I don't know why my dog should be any different.

End Blog.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

2006 in Review

I have been informed by the intrepid blogging community that it is a tradition amongst bloggers to repost the first sentence or two of every blog entry they made that year. I'm a bit late. Deal.

Being that I have written 237 blogs in 2006, this post is somewhat long. But, it's also somewhat funny… at least, to me. I especially like how it starts. (PS – Don't let me start a blog with the word 'so' ever again. I find that annoying upon review.) I think the quality of my blogging declined over time, but I'm going to blame that on... anything but me. You pick. Just not me.


Disclaimer to the Universe:
Please do not jinx me for finally being optimistic about this job. Thank you.

I’ve been having the weirdest dreams lately where really odd things are happening and I refuse to wake up because I can’t imagine what I’ll do next, it just feels so bizarre.

I am not: dead. Yet.

I’m excited to watch the opening ceremonies of the Winter Games tonight.

I posted prematurely. I don't know what I was thinking. There's more crackpot mayhem on TV now.

Whoa... what happened? All of a sudden there are celebrities all over the place. Susan Sarandon, Sophia Loren, Yoko Ono, Peter Gabriel. Isn't the Olympics about sports? I forget.

But I love sports movies.

My plan to influence the Neilson ratings single handedly has been found out.

The luge is the strangest sport around.

So, this Valentine’s Day was not as cool as last year when I went to the morgue.

The Search Continues… for the most insane Olympian.

Lindsey Kildow may not be winning metals, but she’s got the absolute right idea about national television.

More insects in my diet.

For those of you living in a bubble... I'm moving.

Okay, so I got a call from the US Women’s Curling team asking that I please comment on them, or their sport, and to be my witty, wonderful self.

Yes, I have very odd concerns.

For the duration of the women’s figure skating competition, I will be cheering for Joannie Rochette of Canada.


I took a personality quiz online and decided to share it here because for once it seemed to really apply, almost in its entirety.

Nikki, on her way out for the evening, turned off the overhead light in her bedroom and headed for the door.

We went to Moxie’s tonight.

Yesterday I was introduced to Midwestern weather.

Today Alison berated me for not having an emergency kit prepared for bad weather.

You Are Dr. Pepper

I’ve been doing a lot of reading of scientific journal articles at work and have come across words that I didn’t necessarily know… but apparently was supposed to.

Henry just turned over 10,000 miles today on the way home from work.

Ovine – Relating to or like a sheep.

I know you’re sick of these but I’ve finished the first section of reading I was given, so hopefully there won’t be more for a little while.

There are some geniuses out there with a lot of extra time on their hands who have taken it upon themselves to re-tool the trailers of some of our most beloved movies and turn them into something else.

I got one email today.

The term room temperature is misleading.

Another great thing about moving out of my old place...

Thanks to Brenda and Beth... I've stolen this. So, me too.

There’s been a big news story for the past several days about a home invasion where the victim shot and killed two men who allegedly kicked in his door.

On this day in 1979, there was a major nuclear accident at Three Mile Island in Middletown, PA.

Update - Training advancement.

Hey, did you know there was a setting in here where you could allow anyone, even non-members to post comments?

You know who I don’t hear about anymore? Tai Shan, my little Butterstick.

Lebanon Valley College is tiny and in the middle of nowhere.

Today during my reading I came across a biology term that sent me right back to freshman bio, finals week, when I was helping J cram for our last exam.

I’ve decided I want to change my job title from “Criminalist” to “Crime Fighter” simply because it sounds more superhero-y.

Study Fails to Show Healing Power of Prayer

I wanted to share this conversation I had recently with all of you, but I had to sort of recreate it since there was no way I was to know at the time that it’d end up being so hilarious (to me at least).

I could listen to this song on repeat for days.

I have often wished that I had a way to see into the future, limited only to a few days and specifically for the purpose of knowing what the gas prices will be – lest I accidentally ruin something important.

Today in history (April 13), Commander James Lovell spoke the infamous words, "Houston, we've got a problem," aboard the ill-fated flight of Apollo 13.


The Police really know how to celebrate.

I went out and shot some pool tonight, in addition to standing around and watching other people shoot pool… which, worked as I’d hoped and I was invited to play with some other people.

Overall, you scored as follows: 11% scored higher (more nerdy) and 89% scored lower (less nerdy).

Many people don't really think about it, but the best thing about claiming Jesus is a Zombie is that all the Christians can't get mad at me.

I have lots of Madonna music.

My dog is turning 5 today.

Imagine my surprise this morning as I was driving to work when I saw that the 14 cent "Wednesday Price Hike" came a day early.

My entire morning was spent editing and updating my case reports after they had been rejected by peer review.

Today in history in 1999, the deadliest school shooting in US history occured at Columbine High School in Littleton, CO.

The only people that are going to be in the trace section at work on Monday are me and my boss.

Jake Gyllenhaal is the perfect man.

I was the supervisor of everyone in the trace section for an hour today.

Today we filed a bunch of older case evidence in the walk-in freezer.

I wrote a blog and stupid Microsoft Word shut down on me.

I was in the shower this morning looking forward to lunch today and I figured something out - A plan for my future should something go horribly wrong.

I totally rocked my cell ID test today.

Okay, they weren't mine.

Dear Blog, Today was an awesome day.

I was reading the April 15th issue of Science News today at work.


Okay, so I signed up for the Blockbuster online whatever-it's-called-thing and have been getting movies sent to my apartment and getting an additional free rental every week at Blockbuster.

Attn: Green Car Drivers

I moved really far away from all of my favorite people.

Damn! My missions were thwarted by a friendly customer service rep!

I really don't know why it took me so long to see this movie.

3 boxes weighing 47, 47 and 48 pounds

I have three rings that I wear every day.

CMT has had a marathon on all day of this show.

Is it wrong that all I wanna do is sleep in this new bed of mine?

There are a whole bunch of things I should do tonight before leaving for the weekend.

You're not going to believe this. I totally vacuumed.

Yay! Multiple dog weekend!

I used the plural form of this word because I doubt that one person would have done this on their own.

I find that when I travel for long distances, I get attached to traffic around me – especially cars that drive like I do - with cruise control set at or slightly above the speed limit.

I saw my first lightning bug of the season tonight.

A businessman walks into a bank in Washington, DC and asks for the loan officer.

The radio station I was listening on the way home from the grocery store (I remembered where it was and everything! My checkbook says I haven't been there since 4/23. Isn't that amazing?) tonight was playing things I haven't heard in a long time.

Woo! 666!

Damn! I accidentally fell asleep waiting for the show to come on Bravo tonight, and when I woke up, it was half over.

Iraq's al-Qaida leader al-Zarqawi was killed.

It's 11pm and whoever it is that lives above me is vacuuming.

I got my dinner comped tonight at Ruby Tuesday's because I found a hair in my meal.

Heh... remember the last time I went to the morgue? What a fun day.

For those weak of heart or stomach, you might not want to read this. For people who continually ask me if I've seen a dead body today, the answer would be yes.

It's June.

I thought I'd keep you updated on only the unusual symptoms of my cold.

I'm a much happier person when I can breathe easily through my nose.

True, the basic theme of every movie they make is the same, but it works.

I went out to a bar with fellow classmates from my CSI school tonight.


Today in class we did like 12 practical assignments involving fingerprint development.

In list form!

Jessica Simpson... you totally stole Madonna's song "Holiday" and tried to pass it off as your own.

Guys Like That You're Sensitive

What a nice employer.

I'm not going to deny that global warming exists.

Temperature: 98.4

Summer Movie Vintage Mustang Count now at two.

Same colors and shapes and explosions.

Yes, I know that for the first time in a long time I have health insurance.

Okay, so, remember how I said I missed going to see the Maple Shade Fireworks display with J?

Not that there was reason to worry.

I stole the following post from one of my friends from undergrad, and I didn't tell him about it.

I picked up my new front door key this evening when I came home from work – as I was locked out of my apartment.

So, I've decided to take advantage of the fact that the KCPD is sending me to Chicago for a week and I bought a ticket to go see Wicked at The Ford Center Oriental Theater.


So, I saw Pirate's Dead Man's Chest last night and through the eternally long movie kept thinking about how organ music is creepy.

That's how you spell Chicago.

These were all made on the last day of the PLM class at the McCrone Research Institute in Chicago.

Sunday night after arriving at the hotel I unpacked my things so I wasn't living out of a suitcase like I usually do on trips.


Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Your Eyes Should Be Brown

So, remember how I went to crime scene school so I could be put on this special list that lets me go out and actually work crime scenes?

Tuesday evening I went to dinner at the oldest Italian restaurant in Chicago called The Italian Village.

When I got up this morning and headed for the shower, I decided I'd weigh myself on the way.

Again, in summarized list form because, once again, I am lazy.

Someone help!

I wanted to just point out that the date today is kinda cool, no?


We all know her.

Right along side of Million Dollar Baby… we have World Trade Center. Two movies that you should see once and only once.

Okay, so kill me, I hate Outkast's song Hey Ya.

Which Of The Seven Deadly Sins Are You?

I totally brought home two Science and a Discover magazine from work today.

So, I got a call today while at work from the Phoenix Police asking me if I was still interested in the Forensic Scientist job I applied for back in October of 2005.

Saint Exupery's The Little Prince Quiz

This here is Lily Allen.

One of my coworkers had been on vacation all last week and had evidence sitting at her bench the entire time she was gone.

So, between me and my coworker... today we got pissed off at the flies and brought their reign of terror to an end.

"I am guaranteeing that Snakes on a Plane will win best movie next year."

So, I know Death Cab For Cutie has been around for a while - as I've had their music downloaded on my computer for some time - but I finally thought I'd peruse the collection of "new downloads" I have on my computer from well over the past six months and finally listen to them.

I'm ranting.

Hey, look, I finally got around to developing my pictures from Chicago!

Well, it's official.

So, tonight I went to a free screening of Shut Up and Sing about the Dixie Chicks.

I'm currently back near the top of the list for getting called out on crime scenes.

Someone should have warned me that there are 400 billion spiders in Missouri before I moved here.


Yep, I'm that bored again.

Today must be a statewide holiday for everyone with a Missouri license plate.

Today I found out that my DNA's finally been run at the lab in case I end up contaminating anything.

Recently astronomers decided to boot Pluto from our solar system and downgrade its status as an official planet.

Look over here!

Guess who I saw on TV for the first time in ages while watching the Emmys tonight.

No one remembered.

So, I rented season one and watched it.

As I sat down in the bathroom, I noticed a bug of some sort crawling along my pajama pants.

So, they've finally started construction on my old undergrad science building, well loved Garber.

Here’s what I remember of the Renaissance Festival: It was magic.

You Are a Life Blogger!

For some unknown reason there was a photographer from the Kansas City Star at the Lee's Summit Hospital this evening while I was taking my first aid training class.


"Shawnee Mission KIA, just a short drive. Shawnee Mission Parkway and I-35."

Please read that headline again and note how it is just saturated and dripping with the most sarcasm you have ever heard in your entire life.

Soooo... maybe this is where all my brain cells went.

Your Bumper Sticker Should Be

The forces of evil combined in my apartment today.

I went to the air show today.

While in the sun, if you know you're getting burnt and are already in pain, yet continue to stay in the sun... you're probably in store for a miserable existence in the coming days.

Ha Ha!!

Today at work everyone I saw had a comment for me… from "Man, you look really red," to "What the hell did you do to yourself?" to "What were YOU doing this weekend?"

I'm leaving out a Chipotle burrito and a Dr Pepper tonight, just like milk and cookies for Santa.

I've been "busy" recently and haven't posted anything for your reading pleasure.

On Friday morning a transformer blew at work causing the power to go out.


I got called out on scene last night at midnight.

I just got home from Trivia Night up at O'Dowd's in Zona Rosa.

Basically, Blog has become my own little scrapbook.

Okay, so I'm going to try to watch Survivor this season and Blog about it, by request (much like the US Olympic Curling team did back in February).

Okay, so I know you're not really going to believe this... but I was robbed today.

I'll be out of town in Ankeny, Iowa until Wednesday evening.

I finally figured it out - The reason that CSI is so unrealistic for me.

I'm doing this as a public service for EVERYONE.

Okay, so I don't have a whole lot of things to say about Survior this week.

I made zucchini bread this evening.

What the World Needs Now... is hugs, FREE HUGS!

So American Eagle is running these aerie ads in conjunction with Gilmore Girls and Veronica Mars (the reasons to be alive on Tuesdays, and the only thing I watch on the network).

The cricket that could easily win a world record for the loudest chirp is currently residing somewhere in the deep recesses of my kitchen.

By Greg Small

Stranger than Fiction

Lauren Graham was on Studio 60 tonight and will be on the show again next week.

So, Thursday at 8am I'm lecturing at crime scene school for an hour on sexual assault evidence - preservation, recovery, concerns, lab capabilites, etc. Remember back in June when I attended crime scene school? Yeah, same one.

I had my first Irish car bomb tonight.

I drove my car to the automatic carwash today because it was dirty.

Tonight I'll be at UMKC's indoor track walking around in 18 oblong circles.

I killed another spider in my apartment recently.

I'll be out of town for the next week attending the Advanced Polarized Light Microscopy course offered by McCrone Research Institute.

Erin Daniels lives on.

I heard about this on the radio today.

This is slightly overdue, but… I got to drive around an unmarked police car this past week.

For the past several days I've had the Veronica Mars theme song (We Used To Be Friends - The Dandy Warhols) stuck firmly in my brain.

If you're voting in KC and haven't taken the time to look at some of the things that are showing up on your ballot tomorrow, here's a brief and non-encompassing overview of some of the issues:

I'm blogging to you from a remote undisclosed location where, through my indigo colored classes, I see the Democrats taking majority control over both the House and the Senate and Republicans consecutively thanking God during their concession speeches.

Yes, I jumped the gun last night (or rather, early this morning) in reporting the winners of the Senate race.

I actually thought I was going crazy tonight.


I helped a 15 year old figure out how to do her algebra homework this evening because she missed her last class.

I'm getting the biggest, meanest, scariest dog that money can buy.

Today I purchased renter's insurance and got a dead bolt installed on my back door.

My new roommate moved in this afternoon and Thor, reluctantly moved on to his next security job.

I may have accidentally named my dog.

What I really need is a better camera that doesn't have a broken self timer.

Remy didn't pack a single thing for the trip to Texas.

Here are a few photos from the holiday.

I was just listening to the news and the weather came on.

Obviously I have a good father.

I had a dream that I was at the airport with my dog and I lost her.

I should really start watching the news.

Not much else for me to add to this brilliance.

Remy lulled me into a false sense of secuirty this week.

Blogger's been bugging me to update to their new system for the past... oh... 2 months?

She really is a watchdog!

Tonight I paid off my credit card.

I just watched a teaser for the new Harry Potter flick.

Yesterday I turned in my very first crime scene report and diagrams from the scene I went out to... ooooh, two months ago and worried that there would need to be many corrections made to it.

Today I got sucked into YouTube for... well, frankly, hours.

I've been doing a lot of reading at work recently since the lab is currently under construction.

1. I had to get the computer guru at work to help me fix a little problem I made for myself when I inadvertently changed a folder option in control panel that I shouldn't have.

This just in from your friendly neighborhood criminalist: I'm a criminalIST, not a criminal!

My dog is wagging her tail in her sleep.

I was looking over 2005 year end numbers the other day at work because I got an email from one of the task force meetings focused on sexual assaults in the state of Missouri.

I suppose everyone that does this sort of feels the same when they get the results.

I'm not a thoughtful or ambitious person, but many of the people I know are.

Remember how I said that Kansas City was the place to be not too long ago? Well... oops.

I went to the Cowboy Mouth concert on Thursday night in Kansas City at the VooDoo Lounge in Harrah's Casino.

Oh! I nearly forgot!

Mom, mumbling under her breath as she peers into the refrigerator: "This is a crisis. This is a ketchup crisis. The great ketchup crisis of two thousand and six."

And she's totally right, too.

Probably the worst thing that I could have gotten for Christmas was a digital camera with video capabilities.

End Blog.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Consolation Prize

I finally testified today. It went remarkably smoothly. There were the usual "Ummm..."s on my part, but overall, I think I did alright. It was on the higher end of "good". The quality assurance manager observed my testimony and I got a nod from him as I walked out. In my book, coming from him, that's a really good thing. And now, I'm all done for the year. Even if I testify again this year, he doesn't need to go observe.

Go me. First at the lab to testify in court this year.

And when I returned to the lab today, I had a huge stack of business cards sitting on my desk.


I ordered them probably around 3 months ago. I wish that they were white, but apparently that's not something we can have. Because I requested white. But they are speckled grey with blue print. Ah, well. It's better than not having any.

They make me happy. Business cards! I've never had business cards before.

Along with all my contact information, they say:

Nikki Blackwell, MFS
Trace Evidence

Besides my CV, that's probably the only time I've ever put MFS after my name. I still think it's spiffy. I guess I should after how much I "paid" for it... (for the rest of my life).

And to top off today, construction was finally finished in the lab. Finito. Done. Tomorrow we clean and move back in. I finally see casework in my future!

Things are getting back to normal. They are good. I am good. My mood has uplifted. And I have a three day weekend coming up. Right now I'm going to ignore the fact that I have to give a 4 hour lab tour to the public on Saturday and bask in the glory of today.

Today was a really good day.

End Blog.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007


I'd like to tell you about my very first day of court testimony, ever.

Really, I would.

But I STILL haven't testified yet.

That's right. I was at the Clay County Courthouse from 10am-5pm today and I didn't even get on the witness stand. I'm slated to be there at 9:15am tomorrow. If I don't get on before lunch, I'll be very unhappy.

Hell, I'm already very unhappy. And cranky. So, I'll keep this short.

I forgot the book I bought. Therefore, I had nothing to do all day. There's only so many times you can look at the case file and mentally prepare. And it's not like I'm allowed to go watch other people's testimony. So, I was forced to sit on an uncomfortable bench outside the courtroom... all day.

I think the defense attorney is making everyone's life miserable. I'm not looking forward to tomorrow. And I'm also wearing the same clothes. Because I'm starting to not care about this... which is wrong. I need to calm down and not be annoyed when I get over there tomorrow so I don't get defensive on the stand.

Therefore, I'm taking a nap. Because even though I did absolutely nothing today, it was the most stressful nothing I've ever done.

End Blog.

Monday, January 08, 2007

A Random Sort of Day

We had our yearly mandatory lab-wide meeting today. It lasted three and a half hours. There was some good information and I learned what was going on in other sections so it wasn't bad, it was just… long. When my supervisor got up to talk about his section, he said that since I started back in March, there's been no holding me back. It came off as a really nice compliment, and I think it's mostly true. I mean, I do like to learn stuff.

He also mentioned that today was my first day of court testimony, ever, so I got lots or questions about my case from coworkers, but with that went lots of well wishes and "good luck"s. The lab is such a friendly bunch.

That being said, after the meeting, I ate lunch and sort of freaked out, preparing for testimony. Then I got a call from the prosecutor pushing my time back to 4pm. The guy that did the DNA on my samples and I left at 3:15 to drive up to the courthouse and on the way got a call that we weren't going on today and would have to go tomorrow at 10am instead.

Whew. Big sigh of relief… but now I have more problems. I need to dress for court again. I decided instead of trying to put together something from my wardrobe I'd just go to the mall and purchase something new. JC Penny had amazing sales. Of course, they didn't have much in my size. (Which, by the way, is a 4. I was not aware of this.)

I finally settled on a blue suit because it was the only one that fit semi-decently and was suitable for court. I also bought two button down shirts and another black jacket that's not quite nice enough for court and possibly too dressy to dress down with jeans. But it was cute and under 14 bucks. I have a job now, I can do things like that.

So, I spent like $108.something, but I saved $115 because it was all on sale. Unfortunately, buying a blue suit caused more problems. The only nice dress shoes I have are black. A quick call to one of my "girls-who-isn't-fashionably-challenged" confirmed my suspicions. I needed to buy blue shoes.

After visiting five shoe stores, I finally found a pair of navy shoes that fit my tiny feet. They're not all that wonderful looking and they're not all that comfortable, but they were the ONLY navy shoes I found that fit. At this point in the night, I didn't give a damn what they looked like. I'm only ever going to wear them with this suit. And you know what? I don't even know if the color really matches… but… well, I'm a fashion disaster. People will just have to get over it. There's nothing more I can do.

So, as a reward, I bought myself Ender's Shadow, off of a friend's recommendation. I loved Ender's Game back in the day and read the whole series… but somehow missed the fact that Orson Scott Card had followed that up with a spin-off from Bean's perspective. So, I'll be reading that just as soon as I finish In Cold Blood, which has been pretty good so far. The book's better than the movie about writing the book. Actually, maybe the movie will be better after I finish the book and know what the movie's about.

Anyway… this is way long.

It's been a kinda frustrating day. I spent most of it being anxious about court that I didn't go to. And now I'm tired. So, in sum, here's what I learned today:

  1. I'm a size 4.
  2. They don't make many navy shoes and apparently in the whole world there's only like 4 pairs in my size.
  3. I hate shopping.
  4. Lawyers lie.

Oh, yeah… I also got a follow up call from North Patrol today about my break in back in November. Nothing new to report, they just wanted to check in, I guess. So, that was weird too.

But, it's now 9:00. I need to eat. Sucky sucky long ass day.

End Blog.

Sunday, January 07, 2007

2007: The Year of Slackerdom

Alright, so we're a week into the new year and you've not hear a peep from me. Frankly, nothing's going on. I'd like to keep it like that. It's quiet and nice and relaxing.

This past week I've been super happy to have some "me" time and stay in. While I like my friends here, I haven't been interested in really leaving my house much since New Year's Eve.

Ah, New Year's Eve... we won't go into the diabolicalness of that evening. Let's just say there was alcohol, and I was all over the map. I talked to my best friend twice, once at her midnight and once at mine. East-coasters, I really do miss you all. During those phone calls I went from laughter to tears to laughter several times within a matter of seconds. I mean, I love my life - but people back "home" should still be a part of it. I hate being so far away.

Other than that, I've resubmerged myself into the internet. It may sound sad and uninteresting, but I have met so many good friends through a fanforum. So, I don't care how lame you think I am. =) They make me happy. And really, they were the people who kept me most sane during the time I was in DC and working at Target. So, I will forever be indebted to them.

And finally, there's work. Or lack of work. We've been out of the lab due to construction for a month now. I miss casework. I really want to get back into the lab and DO something. A lot. Meanwhile, I'm reading and researching and learning things about fibers and the FT-IR. And waiting to see if I get into the FBI class on hairs and fibers in Quanitco. The FBI Academy! Which, truely, if you know me well, you know I only care because I want to go see where Jodie Foster ran through the obstacal course in Silence of the Lambs. But, no word yet. But hey - DCers - there's a slight possibility I'll be in town March 19-30. FYI...

I had my yearly evalution on Friday. It was glowing. Like A+, gold shiny star, glowing. I love my job. I love my boss. He said some really nice things about me. Hooray!

In other work related news, I testify in court... TOMORROW. I've been ignoring that fact because it's scary. I'm waiting until tonight to go over all my questions that I got in pre-trial again, and letting the real freak out take place tomorrow morning. (I don't have to be at court until 3pm.) I like ignoring. Ignoring keeps me sane. I think a lot of this quiet week has mostly been ignoring.

I could live like this.

End Blog.