Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Be Nice To Me, I Gave Blood Today

Temperature: 98.4
Blood pressure: 120/70
Pulse: 68
Hemoglobin: 14.0

I'm one pint of blood down, and six vacuum tube vial thingies (including the two from this morning for the job related HIV/blood chemistry test). I don't know if it was a good idea to do them both on the same day, but I did. I'm incredibly zany like that. And apparently super philanthropic when it comes to blood. So now I have needle holes in both my arms and a cut finger from the hemoglobin test. (Which, by the way, is super fancy now-a-days.)

And, they needed my B negative blood. As I knew they would. Go me.

O00oo, and I got a free XL t-shirt. Which is kinda sad because it's actually a nice design for the police/fire battle for blood thing. I'd wear it for real if it weren't so big. But instead, I'll have to shuffle it off to the land of "clothes that can only be worn to bed".

Oh, good news. The police are currently winning the battle by 36. Can't wait to see tomorrow's tally as I'll be one of them there donors. Apparently the police won last year for the first time in many, many years. I'd like to see them do it again. And it's not because I work for the police.

It's because the firefighters have a better reputation in the community as a whole. They can flood your car, break down doors and shatter windows and people thank them for it. People hardly ever thank the police. And after 9/11, I think the public respects firefighters even more.

I think we need to show the cops more love. Their job is just as hard and dangerous. So… the police deserve to win the blood battle. And any other friendly competition with the fire people. Except for maybe putting out fires because if the police are better at that, we've got some problems.

End Blog.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

The Global Warming Sham

I'm not going to deny that global warming exists. I'm not going to deny that we're creating carbon dioxide and green house gases. But, what I am going to do is tell you that someone has yet to convince me that humans are the cause of it.

I'm a skeptic. Yes.

I do not claim to be an expert on this topic. What I do claim is that the public is being brainwashed into thinking things that may not be entirely true simply because they are not supplied with all of the information out there and forced to believe only the things presented to them. (I won't bring up the bird flu issue again.)

Indulge me in a little science talk for a few moments. (I feel like I haven't had a good science post scince early May.)

Our current climate has the same carbon dioxide levels and greenhouse gases as the Pliocene era (3-4 million years ago). However, during the Pliocene, the Earth was on average 3 degrees Celsius warmer, there were no polar ice caps, and sea levels were 25 meters higher. So, why is the Earth so cool today?

Surely, you say, this is where the whole global warming thing is coming from, right? Why, you ask, wouldn't I believe it's going to happen given these facts? Certainly we are headed for a big melting disaster and regressing to a climate much like the Pliocene!

Here's the thing though… the Pliocene had a constant El Niño ocean current which kept a warm surface layer of water in the Pacific Ocean. But we don't have that today. We have an alternating El Niño, La Niña current so the Pacific stays relatively cool. Therefore, we have polar ice. (In fact, almost all of the ocean's waters are near freezing, even those beneath the tropics.) So, the currents, the winds, some kind of thermodynamics (that's always been a fuzzy area for me)… they all play a part in global climate.

So, global climate change doesn't just depend on carbon dioxide levels. That's just it… it's GLOBAL. Land formation, ocean currents, water surface temperature, the tilt of the Earth, reflecting light from the surface of the planet, electromagnetism, carbon dioxide, greenhouse gases, ozone, wind, weather, clouds, atmosphere, the carbon cycle… all of this stuff plays a part in global climate.

I'm not convinced that people have that much of an effect. The climate was changing for thousands of years before we got here and it hasn't ever stopped. Humans have been through an ice age before. Did they cause it? I think not. The Earth is going to continue to evolve with or without us.

When you have different groups of scientists predicting both the melting of polar ice caps and the coming of the next ice age, it's hard to choose who to believe. Therefore… here's what I'm going with: It doesn't matter. Either way, if we helped set it in motion or not, we can't stop it. We can't stop tornadoes or earthquakes or hurricanes. We can't change ocean currents or winds. We can't control weather. Even if we could control carbon dioxide levels, none of us can control all the other factors, let alone the global climate as a whole.

So, shut up about it already.

Now, using up all of our non-renewable resources is a different problem altogether. That you're all allowed to work on. I motion that all geo-meteorological types (or whatever they're called) start working on problems other than predicting the coming climate change. All in favor?

End Blog.

KCPCL Looks Out For My Well Being

What a nice employer. I'm being sent to a mandatory blood chemistry screening and HIV test tomorrow.

Isn't that nice?

I think I'm also going to try to give blood tomorrow. It's the 12th annual Battle For Blood between area police and fire departments. Currently, the fire community is winning by 9 people. (Check it out at

I figure it's been a long time since I've given blood, and they always like it when I do since I have the second rarest blood type. I think only 2% of the US (caucasian) population is B-, or something crazy like that. So, I feel like I should do it more often.

Plus... it's summertime. They always seem to be in short supply at this time of year.

So, that's the plan. Tomorrow I shall give away all my blood. Woo!

End Blog.

Maybe Too Much

Guys Like That You're Sensitive

And not in that "cry at a drop of a hat" sort of way. You just get most guys - even if you're not trying to. Guys find it is easy to confide in you and tell you their secrets. No wonder you tend to get close quickly in relationships!

But... I do cry at the drop of a hat!

End Blog.

Monday, June 26, 2006

In My World, You Could Be Imprisoned For This

Jessica Simpson... you totally stole Madonna's song "Holiday" and tried to pass it off as your own. I hope she's getting royalties from your song "A Public Affair". Because she and Jellybean Benitez did it better the first time around.

Seriously people, have you heard this? The opening bars sound like a bad remake of "Holiday". I can't get over it. She's a stealer. And it's not like it's been sampled. It's been comptely stolen and re-synthesized. In, like, a bad midi form.

Okay, besides the fact that it's a Madonna song, you might wonder why I'm so upset. Therefore, I will share with you my fondest DC memory of all.

Leaving the Madonna concert (The Re-Invention Tour):
I get on the metro from the MCI Center with all the other fans leaving the Madonna concert. A completely empty metro train rolls in and we cram in like sardines. And someone in the back of my train starts singing "One day to come together to release the pressure. We need a holiday!" The whole train laughs, and then joins in. We sang the whole song, together. It was like living in a musical. (Like RENT but without all the AIDS. Not that I really know it was without all the AIDS. Maybe it was just exactly like RENT.)

It was the only time I ever felt united with other people in that city. And my favorite "city moment" from the entire 2 and a half years I lived there.

Jessica Simpson's ruining everything!

End Blog.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Random Events of the Past Several Days

In list form!

1. I had a weird dream that my mom gave me a horribly bad haircut.

2. I had incredible fun with an undercover cop from Columbia, MO and a detective from Raymore, MO at crime scene school.

3. I got a phone number at work after only 4 months of being on the job.

4. I had a dream about an avalanche that was kinda scary.

5. I passed crime scene school and almost pulled an all-nighter.

6. I was told my report writing "reads very British" but that I write extremely well.

7. I found out that "the exact opposite of" my name is "Whitebad".

8. I think my alcohol tolerance has increased, due in large part to the influence of police. I find this fact humorous.

9. I'm now offically allowed to be placed on-call at work and go to crime scenes as a secondary, although I'd really like to do my ride alongs before that happens.

10. I love my hair every single time I get out of the shower. Someone should have made me cut it a million years ago.

11. The dreams are beginning to bother me. I'm having them almost every night. Usually I don't remember them and they hardly ever wake me up, but all this activity is really getting ridiculous.

12. I was probably dehydrated this whole last week.

13. I actually saw sunlight and it changed the color of my skin slightly. Imagine!

14. I remembered that I liked being outside and sweating isn't that bad.

15. I still don't like math and am still bitter that the US doesn't use the metric system. C'mon, America. It'd make our lives so much easier!

16. Someone almost ran right into my car today because they didn't check their blind spot before merging. Luckily, I know where the brakes are and how to use them.

17. I still have clean laundry I haven't folded from last weekend. Getting my own washer and dryer was probably a very bad thing. My apartment slowly got messy the past three weeks.

18. I finally saw Chasing Amy. What a great movie.

19. I still have a horrible sounding cough anytime I drink anything, but feel just dandy otherwise. I'm ready for it to go away now that it's been two full weeks.

20. I stabbed myself in the face with a mechanical pencil and broke the lead off right there in my jaw. Talent, I say. Talent. And... ouch.

21. My thighs ache today from squatting so much during the crime scene practical yesterday. I'm horribly out of shape, I suppose.

Yay Random Facts.
End Blog.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

There's a Right Way and a Wrong Way

Today in class we did like 12 practical assignments involving fingerprint development. The problem with the set up was that we had to put our own prints on different substrates and then develop them. A good thing to note here is that its 90 degrees outside and you can't wear gloves if you want to lay down prints, but you should have them on while you're enhancing them.

Interesting fact: When your hands swell up from a combination of sweat and heat, latex gloves are super difficult to get on and off. Needless to say, we all got extremely messy in this endeavor. I got some really pretty prints as well… but… extremely messy.

How messy you may ask?

Let's just say I somehow managed to superglue black powder to my left index finger, got Genitian violet on my right palm while taking off my gloves, and found Crowle's stain on my forearm sometime later that afternoon. Although, I would also like to point out, I was not the filthiest person there.

The crime scene techs are really amazing people. I know with practice it all gets easier and this was the whole point of the exercise – the heat, the bad lighting, the substandard conditions we'll work in at times.

It was really a blast. Man, I love this job.

But messy.

Aren't you thrilled by my stories? I mean, supergluing black powder to your finger is not something you'll ever see on CSI.

End Blog.

Friday, June 16, 2006



Okay, I know, when getting your hair cut is the most exciting thing going on in your life, it's pretty lame. But, you have no idea how much I really really really really really really really really needed a haircut. (Okay, if you read my blog, possibly you had an inkling to the dire need.)

That's a lot of reallys. I mean, this event is totally blog-worthy.

And it only cost me $14.99. For a haircut. Of my whole head. And it actually looks pretty dang nice.* I suppose I've found my new hair cutting place. And it's so very close to my apartment.


End Blog.

*Of course, it has been blown dry by a professional and we all know I'm not going to take the time to do that myself. However, there is no product in my hair. I suppose this is how I keep the price of my haircuts so low.

Thirsty Thursday

I went out to a bar with fellow classmates from my CSI school tonight. Cops are fun to hang out with.

Plus, now I know an undercover narcotics officer. How cool is that?

Good times. Good night. Good people. And they even walk you to your car at the end of the night.

End Blog.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

The Magical World of Pixar

True, the basic theme of every movie they make is the same, but it works. Every single time.

Toy Story, Toy Story 2 (they're rumored to be making a 3rd for 2008), A Bug's Life, Monsters Inc., Finding Nemo, The Incredibles, and now Cars. All stories about family, whether you're born into it or you accidentally find yourself making your own with a bunch of loveable rag-tag misfits.

Cars gets two very enthusiastic thumbs up. Visually stunning. Great soundtrack. Heartwarming story. Go see it and wait until the end of the credits, people! Have you learned nothing from past Pixar Animation flicks? The drive-in sequence is a blast and the very last scene has a wonderful play on words. And if they add outtakes later in the theatrical run I'll be very upset about missing them.

Plus, any movie that gives a car a personality is okay in my book. Although, the movie needed a Mustang. Ka-chow!

End Blog.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Good News

I'm a much happier person when I can breathe easily through my nose. And today, without medication, I was able to do it all day.


I'm still kinda sleepy, but I have homework to finish for school. Tomorrow we're reconstructing a crime scene from all the police report reading I need to do tonight.

And thus ends the most boring blog entry, ever.

Monday, June 12, 2006

Sickly McSickerson

I thought I'd keep you updated on only the unusal symptoms of my cold. This one you'll enjoy.

Everytime I swallow my right ear sqeaks. You can't hear it, but I can.

The good news is that I found old cold medication in my cabinet containing pseudoephedrine. Man, remember pseudoephedrine? Back in the good old days? Of course it "expired" nearly a year ago. I suppose that tells you how often I get sick enough to medicate myself and how truely miserable I must be right now to be doing so. You know, aside from the ear thing.

God damn drug dealers had to go and ruin cold medicine for everyone. Phenylephrine just doesn't work the same. Of course, right now I'm vowing to go to a store before class tomorrow morning and grab me some oxymetazoline. I'm not kidding around anymore. That's how much the nasal congestion is bothering me. I'm bringing in the big guns - Afrin - even if it will make my throat hurt like hell. Please, God, let them still sell the most miracle wonder drug of them all.

Funny, you'd think if I was going to ask God for something, it would be to get rid of my cold. I suppose we see how much faith I have in healing the sick without modern medicine.

End Blog.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Fortress of Solitude

It's June. A month with lovely weather and gorgeous nights, one where my bestest friends celebrate their birthdays (some longer than others) and a time where I happen to feel really crappy – about all sorts of things.

Currently, I'm sick. My throat hurts, my eyes are burning, I ache and when I'm lucky, I can breathe through my nose. I quarantined myself in my apartment today and slept as much as possible, watched some movies, read a book, avoided homework like a champ, and overall felt sorry for myself. But that's not my only issue right now.

Living here, while it has amazing perks, sucks every now and again. I love the days I spend an hour and a half on the phone with J, but it makes the times in between those calls ever more depressing. I don't get it. I hardly got to see her the last three years anyway, but knowing there's such distance between us now is disheartening. But for that hour and a half, she makes everything feel right in the world. Someone that honestly, truly cares about me and isn't afraid of saying so. Sometimes that's all a girl needs: to know that someone else out there in the cosmos cares and appreciates who it is that you are. I miss having people who get me, who just know me that well. And I love that I know her better than anyone else and can tell within her first three words if anything is wrong. You don't find friends like that often, if ever. She knows the best and worst parts of me and loves them both. I couldn't be more grateful to know her.

Thirdly, although the least important in this random thought seepage, I need a haircut more than I have ever in my entire life. I don't even like to look in the mirror. I didn't recognize myself in a recent photo right away. My indecisiveness on the matter is just making it worse. It needs to go, but the problem is that once I get it cut in a fashion I like, it'll be in my face and over evidence when I get back to the lab, even if I try to pull it back. And it's going to annoy the shit out of me possibly more than the ugliness that is my current unending locks. This is one of the many times where it'd be wonderful if I had been born a guy. Because buzzing your hair off in the summertime is perfectly acceptable for them. Alas… I need to find somewhere to cut my hair and hope that I can trust whoever does it. It's a good 6 inches too long. I suppose this should be my next goal and I should just suck it up and get it done.

Get a haircut, like it or not.

Wow, did we all notice how much I went on about my hair? I feel like it has to represent something profound in my life. Wanting to get rid of it but unable to trust someone to let go? Not wanting to let it go for some reason that's not so clear to me yet?

It's pretty awful when you start reading into your own journal writing. Something is probably seriously wrong with my mind. I mean… you have to mean to write symbolism. There needs to be a conscious effort on the author's part, right?

Obviously this virus is messing with my mind. I should be sleeping.

End Blog.

Friday, June 09, 2006

Going, Going, Gone

For those weak of heart or stomach, you might not want to read this. For people who continually ask me if I've seen a dead body today, the answer would be yes.


We learned how to process a body at the morgue today, but it wasn't much new information for me. I mean, taking hinge lifts and fingernail scrapings are kind of self explanatory. Although it was good experience to be around more dead people.

I like dead people. Not like… like them, like them, but… find nothing wrong or creepy about them being dead. We saw a gentleman this afternoon that had been killed in a motorcycle accident. His left arm and right wrist had compound fractures and possibly his neck or chin or something was broken… I'm not sure, but something was certainly not right about it.

We took his elimination prints and hair standards to learn how. Fingerprinting him was not too difficult. I actually got some really nice looking prints from him and took a palm print as well. This was way easier than last time. I imagine you get better with practice of how to manipulate a hand that's still in rigor.

There was talk about getting to see the old guy they fished out of the river after 3 days of submersion, but that didn't happen. I feel like that's something I need to experience. I mean, I'd like to confirm that I can handle something that "icky". I'd like to know the smells and such and be able to see seriously bloated individuals and know what skin slippage is like. But, alas, we did not.

Some people were complaining about the smell in the morgue. I didn't think it was gross. As a matter of fact, I really thought it smelled like cooked cabbage. I kinda wanted halupki. It was like Thanksgiving at the morgue.

Isn't it weird that both of the times I've been in the morgue I've made references to things smelling like food? This might explain why I'm not a "foodie" like some of the people that I know, eh? I sometimes feel that I've gotten the short end of the stick in the smelling/tasting department because I don't get as much pleasure out of food as most people. Or so it seems. I guess in this situation my deficiencies come in handy.

So, the only thing I've confirmed from this is that the morgue smells delicious!

Just wait until I see my first decomp case. I bet it smells like brownies and fresh baked bread! Okay, wishful thinking. Although, I'm hopeful that I'll find it less horrible than some of my colleagues.

So, the morgue was not too exciting, but one of the lectures today was. Topic? Auto-erotic deaths.

Okay, I've had lectures on this before, but never have they been as funny as the one that our CST gave today. She cracked me up, and quite possibly it was only funny if you were there, but I think this quote is humorous enough for everyone, so I will share:

"Don't use an electric sander to masturbate. It's baaaaaad. Just, you know, masturbate normally."

The lecture also included video footage of people who set up cameras to film themselves doing these acts and their safety devices failed resulting in accidental deaths. Most compressed their necks too far, passed out unconscious leaning on the rope, and then their bodies couldn't get enough oxygen and they died of hypoxia in muscle spasms. So, I actually watched people die today. That's something we never saw in school.

So, week one of crime scene school down, two more to go.

I like it so far, although I'm not learning too many new things yet. It's also nice to meet people from other departments and other labs… and spend all my money going out to lunch with them.

End Blog.

It's Morgue Day!

Heh... remember the last time I went to the morgue? What a fun day.

I promise if there are any good stories, I'll share them. Hopefully Kansas City will have something just as interesting as Fairfax County did.

End Blog.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Goodbye, Ruby Tuesday

I got my dinner comped tonight at Ruby Tuesday's because I found a hair in my meal.

My waiter was super nice and really rather good looking. I knew the hair wasn't his. His head was totally shaved. And when he looked at the hair, he apologized and said that it was really "nasty" and I shouldn't have to pay for it. Even though I found it after I'd eaten most of the food given to me.

I think I should start looking harder in my food for hair. I mean, we lose 100-150 head hairs daily, and that's not even counting any other body hairs. Or pet hairs. I find them in evidence all the time. I mean, I could start eating for free... especially when the hairs are so obviously not mine.

This incident hasn't turned me off of Ruby T. I'd go again. (The headline is misleading.)

End Blog.

It's 11pm

And whoever it is that lives above me is vacuuming.

Seems like out of common courtesy things like that shouldn't happen. I suppose that's one of the major downfalls about living in an apartment. That and paying rent and coming out of it owning absolutely nothing.

I think I'd really like a small house with a fenced in yard and a dog. Although, that seems very adult and probably hard to obtain. It's not like I have a lot of money and getting more loans doesn't seem like something I want to do anytime soon.

So, I guess I'll have to live with the late night vacuumers. I suppose I'm happy it's not something else I have to listen to. Like loud sex or Latino music like my old place.

Every cloud has a silver lining.

End Blog.

News Has Filtered Through My Bubble of Seclusion

Iraq's al-Qaida leader al-Zarqawi was killed. (Insert your own political statement here.) Sadly, I will miss hearing his name on the news. It was so gosh darn fun to say and I liked to repeat it.

I won't comment further on the war or willful acts of death.

End Blog.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Last Comic Standing

Damn! I accidentally fell asleep waiting for the show to come on Bravo tonight, and when I woke up, it was half over. I was impressed with some of the comics I saw. No one completely bombed or anything.

But I write this tonight because they cut to a scene backstage as the contestants were waiting for the results – and who do I see?

Was that Theo from MTV's Road Rules? Is he even funny? What was his stand up like?

I mean, I know it was him. But his name was listed on the screen as "Theo Von" instead of "Theodor Vonkurnatowski". Probably a good choice is he's going into show business.

But, here's the thing… he's been on the Road Rules show and like a million of the Real World/Road Rules type challenge shows. I know. I watch the marathons. I watch for Coral and Mike "The Miz" and Theo. He's currently staring on the newest challenge show called Fresh Meat.

How much more exposure does he need? And, couldn't he live off of MTV forever? There's no way he'll make as much money as a comic as he is with MTV. Plus, I've never seen him be funny anyway.

So, I wasn't really surprised when he didn't make it past the round that I saw. But now, I totally need to see a rerun or something. I MUST see his stand-up.

So that I can understand.

End Blog.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006


Woo! 666!

I hope lots of babies are born to superstitious Bible-thumping mothers today and it knocks them down a peg. I saw a news story about a woman who had a cesarean on the 5th so as not to "tempt fate".

Why? Because fate thinks she needs to raise the spawn of Satan and she disagrees?

How is it that so many people lack logic and good sensibility?

Sometimes I want to smack them over the head with a shovel.

Your baby is not the Devil.

Or… is it?

End Blog.

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Self-Esteem Booster

The radio station I was listening on the way home from the grocery store (I remembered where it was and everything! My checkbook says I haven't been there since 4/23. Isn't that amazing?) tonight was playing things I haven't heard in a long time. I think it was 80s weekend or something. Anyway, they started playing Oh, Mickey.

I changed the words. All the Mickeys were Nikkis and all the guys were girls.

It's a fantastic song that way. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy that someone likes me enough to sing a song telling me not to break their heart.

And yes, I do realize what a loser that makes me.

On a completely unrelated side note:
I'd like to wish my bestest friend in the whole wide world the happiest birthday, ever.

And Big Peacocks. And lots of them.

End Blog.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Wise Millionaire Businessman

A businessman walks into a bank in Washington, DC and asks for the loan officer. He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan.

So the businessman hands over the keys to a Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the businessman returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.

The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The businessman smiled and replied, "Where else in DC can I park my car for two weeks for only 15 bucks?"

What? I thought it was funny.

End Blog.