Carol of the Dogs

I've finally gone off of the deep end. I'm just forewarning you before you actually click the video below...

This started as Brenda's joke since she spent the weekend in Kansas City with me and she's really to blame for originally giving a voice to Remy. Clearly things have gotten out of hand since then. She made River sing the first line of Carol of the Bells about 600 times... with new words, of course. It got stuck in my head. I sang it 600 more times.

Occasionally we would add more words or different lines. Most of the time it was just "ham egg and cheese" over and over again. Tonight, as I should be packing, I made the video that we joked about doing all weekend. There were many different ideas and versions floating around, but this is what I settled upon. (For ease = one camera shooting without any editing.)

True, it would have been funnier to have the dogs more animated as they sang, but they were trying to nap as I... er, they... put on this performance for you.

Congrats, Nikki. You're not even 30 yet and you are already the crazy dog lady. This is why I shouldn't be left alone very often.

Aren't you glad to know me? If you think this is crazy, remember, I have to drive to Texas tomorrow... with only these dogs for company. Thank goodness they are so talkative.

To sing along, here are the words: (Forgive me, Mykola Leontovych, I know you never intended for the song to end up like this.)

River:
Ham, egg and cheese
Give me some peas
Corn dogs and beers
Dill pickle spears
Turkey and rice
Gravy's so nice
Fire grilled steak
A piece of cake

What's on your dish?
How about fish?
Hand me the bread
Oh, what a spread

Remy:
I would like some crispy bacon!
I would like some crispy bacon!

River:
To my dearest friend,
I highly recommend
That you have some wine
The last bite is mine

Remy:
Bacon! Bacon!



PS, River doesn't even like all the foods she's singing about!

Merry Christmas, everyone!


End Blog.

River v. Cane, Battle for the Ball

I'm going to be Carl Fredricksen the 78 year old man from Pixar's Up for Halloween. Carolyn is going to be the 8 year old Wilderness Explorer, Russell, Remy will be Dug the talking dog, and Brenda will be Kevin, the exotic bird/snipe.

I tried on my costume tonight. It's going to be perfect. Totally worth every penny and hour I spent working on all of it. There will be pictures, I promise.

Meanwhile, I got my quad-footed cane and put tennis balls on the feet. River really wanted those tennis balls. I took some video for your viewing pleasure. (Don't mind Juno on the TV in the background.)

She's so adorable.


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Toby's Not a Grumpy Old Man

Belinda is horribly mistaken about her dog, Toby. He's not a grumpy old man. He needs a puppy in his life. Look at how much fun they are having!

It's not really that bad having four dogs in the house. I wouldn't mind it if I became the crazy old dog lady. It's actually pretty entertaining.

Although, someone told me that over the course of their lifetime dogs cost, on average, $36,000. Somehow I think Remy costs way less than that and River will cost way more.

I found a muzzle for River. We're working together to make sure that she thinks the muzzle is the best thing in the entire world and means that she's getting treats. Not sure how it's all going to pan out and I still have some reservations about keeping her in it all day, however I can't think of a better solution. I know that if I spend $150 on a new plastic-type kennel, she'll undoubtedly be able to get out of that one, too. (Her sister, Scout can get out of hers like that.) And she will probably hurt her nose doing so.

So, we'll see how this works.

She didn't eat anything in the house on Friday. Not that it's improvement, but... a mini miracle. Maybe my two doggy guests kept her entertained. I'm beginning to think it's not so much separation anxiety but boredom.

We shall see... the thrills continue.

I just realized that if you're not following my pictures on Twitter, you likely didn't see what she did on Wednesday. So, I shall leave you with this, my moment of anti-zen.


Her toys were under the couch and I think she tried to go through it since she couldn't reach them. She's too smart for me. I put pillows under the couch so nothing else can get under there... and so it continues.


End Blog.


PS, the fenced in yard is fabulous! I love it so much. Thanks for all your hard work Mom and Dad.

Gezuntite

When you watch this, just remember that I had to first realize that she was continuously sneezing, had to find my camera, and then had to actually get it on video. There must have been like 15 sneezes before this even happened.

Wow. Ever hear that thing about how if you sneeze seven times in a row it's like having an orgasm? Lucky dog.


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Disappearing River

More River video! She destroys the couch and hides herself within its cushions. The little toy that she has is a heart that was ripped off of a stuffed animal.

Maybe she's trying to build a fort... What a goofball.


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Wait For It...

She's just plain entertaining. It really doesn't matter what she's up to, if she's walking around, you best put the camera on her.

You requested more, please? Ask and you shall receive.


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Play Food

I gave River a vitamin that I got for free at the pet expo. She wasn't quite sure what it was. It took her at least five minutes to decide to eat it instead of play with it.

She makes me giggle.

She also doesn't understand how food magically appears in her bowl. Or she thinks that she's a magician... Either way, this is also funny. And slightly annoying.

She's certain that I'm not feeding her enough. Yet another thing that River is wrong about...


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Brain Damaged

River got a bath today because she smelled like puppy vomit do to a small unfortunate event last night and me being too lazy to get up and clean it up at 4am. That's what kennels are for, right?

Anyway, here she is after the bath being silly because all dogs are silly after baths. I'm amazed she didn't make herself dizzy and vomit all over again.

Puppies are so entertaining.


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After Midnight Cat Fight

I just woke up, although I'm not exactly sure why, to find that Remy was not in bed sleeping. I got out of bed to see where she was and when I reached the pitch dark hallway, I heard her toenails clicking in my direction, and a few little huffs, indicating her level of mohawkness. I looked out the back door and saw one cat run from the back yard and another frozen in position on the cinder blocks that make up this random wall on my patio. So, I did what anyone would do at 2am. I hooked her on her cable and let her outside with fair warning to "be careful".

What follows is approximately 30 seconds AFTER I once again realized that this is something that should be recorded.

Disclaimer: It's dark. The lighting is bad. It's 2am. I just woke up. There is no editing. Maybe it was only really amusing to me... What you really can't see well is Remy kicking up large tufts of grass and her full on mohawk. What I missed was lots of hilarious growling and posturing while keeping a good distance from said cat. I think she may have taken some claws to the face at some point in her life because she kept a very respectful distance while still trying the be an intimidator... which I think worked pretty well for her.

That cat just disappeared! I'm sure it was still there, trapped. I think Remy might have even been able to see it, but I wasn't gonna go step in the bare grass with naked feet just to get them all wet and look for a cat I really don't care about.

It was an unusual morning... night... I'm tired. And Huffy McHufferson is still bent out of shape and would like to be outside on the prowl protecting her yard from those cat evil doers.

Tune in next week...


End Blog.

Daniel's Magical Mustache

Dan stopped cutting his hair and shaving his mustache parts sometime in March, bringing much joy to the land. He looks like he's preparing for time travel back into the 70's.

In that light, I have given Daniel magical powers, just like Samantha Stephens had on Bewitched. Which would also make Beth Darrin. It just goes to show that true love can endure the most vexing situations!

Enjoy. Laugh. Repeat.

I wonder what sort of spells he's casting... maybe I don't want to know.

Life would be a little less lively without this guy.


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