River in a Hat

I haven't tortured Remy in like, a year. Anyway, a long time... and River is always so spastic you can't put a hat on her head... right? Well, normally, right. BUT, River has this amazing quality that when she's tired, you can do absolutely anything to her and she just won't fight it.

For example:

She likes the right side of the couch. She always lays there. I like the right side of the couch, too. And unlike Carolyn, I will move the dog so that I can sit where I want to. So I moved her and pulled her back into my lap and she pretty much slept there. Then I got this great idea... I just bought my floatin' hat for the 4th of July float trip... and it's on my head... and River's head is RIGHT THERE...

Carolyn snapped the picture on her phone. It's awesome. She pretty much just let it happen. Expect more ridiculous sleepy River pictures in the future.




End Blog.

Overestimated Maturity

River Monster did not grow up. She had a few shining moments followed by a path of destruction. Today she managed to get to three different areas in the living room and cause a bunch of damage. The DVDs and books, her favorites - and a new addition, she's now getting behind my desk and desamating much more important things, like my beloved charcoal pencils (I know, I haven't actually drawn anything ages) and some pictures (goodbye picture of my AP chemistry class (I'm SUCH a geek)). She also moved some tax forms... although she didn't manage to eat them.

Funny thing is, I thought I had barricaded off the section of the room behind my desk. Not well enough though. She actually pulled the electric plugs out of the wall in her efforts to squeeze by and actually unplugged the power strip leading to my computer and lights... and maybe even Carolyn's laptop. (I don't need a lecture on the dangers of fire and how many things you can plug into an outlet, okay?) This forced an improper shutdown of the new computer. Oops. I'm sorry, new computer.

SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH.

I really wanted to trust her and have her be a grown up. She's obviously not ready and will be in that muzzle for the foreseeable future, no matter how sad she appears when it's presented to her. If she doesn't shape up, it will be on her for the rest of her life. DO YOU HEAR ME, DOG!?

Maybe she's an adolescent, not a grown up. I guess we could revisit this topic again in another 6 months. I know she CAN be good... I've seen her do it before. I just don't want to have more stuff destroyed in another 6 months... maybe more like 8 months, after I get home from Hawaii...

Once again... SIGH.


End Blog.

River Monster Grows Up

I don't want to jinks anything, but we've not used River's muzzle in three days. The first day was an accident because Carolyn forgot to do it when she left the house and I was already at work at that time. She found a ziploc bag that had her food in it once and ended up ripping it up. But it was the only thing she tore up... and it smelled like her food... or it might have had some of her food still left in it.

The second day, we picked up around the house and crossed our fingers. Only one bag torn up seemed pretty good. Apparently we're betting types. That day, River (probably with Remy's help) decided that she would unpack my suitcase from the recent trip to New Jersey. I came home to my clothes spread around the living room, but nothing was destroyed. Progress?

The third day, we closed the bedroom doors. Everything was perfectly how I left it when I came home. Like I said... I don't want to jinks anything when I say this, but...

I think River grew up. I think I have a dog that I can trust to not eat my house! It only took a year and a half!

I'm proud of her. She's being such a good girl.


End Blog.

The Ultimate Madonna Quiz

I found a bunch of files that I had forgotten about when transferring stuff from old computer to new computer. One of them was *nerd alert* "The Ultimate Madonna Quiz" that I made up myself a few years ago when I had a ton of time on my hands. (Read: I had just moved to Kansas City and didn't have the stunning social life that I now lead.)

I just took it. I got a 45/50 which is a 90%. That must mean it's REALLY hard because I made the damn thing. You'd think I would know all of the answers.

How do you think you'll do? Try it out. Good luck.



1. Which of the following songs does NOT have Spanish lyrics?

A. Who’s that Girl?
B. Be Careful
C. Paradise (Not For Me)
D. Spanish Eyes


2. Which of the following songs does NOT have the word pray or prayer?

A. Who’s That Girl?
B. Cherish
C. Nothing Fails
D. Oh, Father


3. In which movie did Madonna play a character named Nikki?

A. Who’s that Girl?
B. Desperately Seeking Susan
C. Shanghai Surprise
D. Swept Away


4. In song, Madonna asks you to “Put your hands” where?

A. Right there
B. All over my body
C. On my skin
D. B and C


5. Which song does NOT reference a mother?

A. Mer Girl
B. Nothing Really Matters
C. Deeper and Deeper
D. I’d Rather Be Your Lover


6. In which song does Madonna teach us a “different way to kiss”?

A. Where Life Begins
B. Erotica
C. Justify My Love
D. Inside of Me


7. Which of the following songs never appeared on a soundtrack?

A. Die Another Day
B. This Used to be My Playground
C. Crazy for You
D. Beautiful Stranger
E. I’ll Remember


8. Which of the following words do NOT appear in a Madonna song?

A. Lucky Star
B. Little Star
C. Lost Star
D. Lonely Star


9. Which song does NOT make mention of a bird?

A. Frozen
B. Impressive Instant
C. Don’t Tell Me
D. Dear Jessie


10. Which song makes mention of a key?

A. Frozen
B. Open Your Heart
C. Keep it Together
D. All of the Above


11. Which two songs both have the lyrics "Romeo and Juliet”?

A. Cherish and Fever
B. Vogue and Like It or Not
C. Cherish and Vogue
D. Borderline and Swim


12. Which song does NOT have the words “satin sheets”?

A. Dress You Up
B. Express Yourself
C. Crimes of Passion
D. None of the above


13. Which song does NOT have the word “diamonds” in its lyrics?

A. Material Girl
B. Express Yourself
C. More
D. Rainbow High


14. Madonna must have had a mental breakdown and forgotten she had previously recorded a song with this title because on her album, Confessions on a Dance Floor, she used it for a second time.

A. Secret
B. Forbidden Love
C. Push
D. Future Lovers

15. Which song’s first lines are the spoken words “And you can dance”?

A. Into the Groove
B. Dress You Up
C. Express Yourself
D. Causing a Commotion


16. Which song does NOT have the word “fool” in it?

A. Can’t Stop
B. One More Chance
C. Rain
D. None of the above


17. The following lines precede the chorus of which song?
“There’s no reason to feel guilty,
It’s too late, now,
What’s done is done.
If you can keep it a secret, Darlin’,
We can have some fun.”

A. Crimes of Passion
B. Forbidden Love
C. I Want You
D. Nobody’s Perfect


18. Which two songs end with the sound of a rainstorm?

A. Rescue Me and Rain
B. This Used to be My Playground and One More Chance
C. Take a Bow and Secret
D. Rain and Survival


19. Which song has the following lyrics? “No end and no beginning.”

A. Power of Goodbye
B. Ray of Light
C. Like a Prayer
D. Love Won’t Wait


20. What is the title of the duet between Madonna and Mandy Patinkin?

A. White Heat
B. Be Careful
C. What Can You Lose?
D. Love Song


21. Which really lame rhyme is NOT a Madonna lyric?

A. I don’t like cities, but I like New York. Other places make me feel like a dork.
B. My father had to go to work, I used to think he was a jerk.
C. I drive my Mini Cooper and I’m feeling super-dooper. Yo, they tell me I’m a trooper.
D. You said we’d never part. And now you’re breaking my heart.


22. Hypothetically, let’s say Madonna took acid and then wrote a song. Which would most likely be the final product of that endeavor?

A. Dear Jessie
B. Dear Jessie
C. Dear Jessie
D. Dear Jessie


23. In the song “Swim”, where is Madonna swimming?

A. Across the Nile
B. In a pool
C. To the ocean floor
D. Near a waterfall

24. In which song does Madonna sing, “Don’t want my dreams addin’ up to nothin’”?

A. Candy Perfume Girl
B. How High
C. Crazy for You
D. I’m So Stupid

25. In which song is Madonna egotistical enough to tell us, “Better the devil that you know, your love for me will grow”?

A. You Must Love Me
B. Like It or Not
C. Love Song
D. Nobody Knows Me


26. In what song did Madonna somehow make “it through the wilderness”?

A. Survival
B. Like a Virgin
C. Borderline
D. Live to Tell


27. Finish these lyrics: “Cupid, please take your aim at me.”

A. You took a poison arrow and you aimed it at my heart.
B. Cherish the thought of always havin’ you, here by my side.
C. And help me change my destiny.
D. I know that you’re afraid that I might come steal your heart away in the night.


28. Happiness lies where?

A. In your heart
B. In memories
C. In your own hand
D. Inside of me


29. Madonna was once quoted as saying, "It’s a message song that everyone is going to take the wrong way," about what song?

A. Papa Don’t Preach
B. Oh, Father
C. Material Girl
D. What It Feels Like for a Girl


30. On her album “Confessions on a Dance Floor”, the track following “Jump” is what?

A. Don’t Tell Me
B. How High
C. Did You Do It?
D. Don’t Stop


31. What “Ain't no big deal” to say?

A. I love you still
B. I can’t get over you
C. You’re the one I’m dreamin’ of
D. I want you


32. Finish the lyric: “Slowly now we begin to move. Every breath…”

A. I fall deeper and deeper
B. I’m deeper into you
C. We’re gettin’ into the groove
D. You’ve got something to prove


33. Finish these lyrics: “I’ve had other lips. I-I-I’ve sailed a thousand ships.”

A. I’ve had other guys. I’ve looked into their eyes.
B. But I’m standing on a cloud every time you’re around.
C. But no matter where they go, you’re the one for me, Baby, this I know.
D. But you don’t even know I’m alive and this pounding in my heart just won’t die.


34. Which song opens, “Today is the last day that I’m using words”?

A. Words
B. Bedtime Story
C. Justify my Love
D. Intervention


35. Finish these lyrics: “I know where beauty lives. I’ve seen it once, I know…”

A. The womb it is
B. The one she is
C. The woman gives
D. The warm she gives


36. “Time goes by so slowly for those who wait.” According to Madonna, what should we do about it?

A. Wait. Patience is a virtue.
B. Go out. Girls just wanna have fun.
C. Stop hesitating. Those who run seem to have all the fun.
D. Remember the past when you had a mother. Then find someone to love you.


37. What are the three emotions Madonna feels for us at the beginning of “Time Stood Still”?

A. Pain, sadness and regret
B. Hope, compassion and pleasure
C. Despair, regret and tenderness
D. Love, devotion and faith


38. Which song asks “How many licks did it take?”

A. Erotica
B. Where Life Begins
C. Secret Garden
D. Thief of Hearts


39. Babyface co-wrote “Take a Bow” with Madonna and performed the backup vocals.

A. True
B. False


40. In which song does Madonna ask you to “Sing la-di-da-di”?

A. Shoo-Bee-Doo
B. Don’t Stop
C. Issac
D. Shanti-Ashtangi


41. Which song does NOT have the word “stranger” in its lyrics?

A. Crazy for You
B. Beautiful Stranger
C. Bad Girl
D. None of the Above


42. Name that tune: “I’m not the same. I have no shame. I’m on fire!”

A. Burning Up
B. Bad Girl
C. White Heat
D. Fever


43. Which person has NEVER been referred to in a Madonna song?

A. Sigmund Freud
B. Marlon Brando
C. Cleopatra
D. Al Capone


44. Name that tune: “You’re wasting time. Make up your mind. And get into the groove.”

A. Into the Groove
B. Causing a Commotion
C. Vogue
D. You Can Dance


45. Name that tune: “Express yourself, don’t repress yourself.”

A. Express Yourself
B. Like a Prayer
C. Human Nature
D. Justify my Love


46. The first line of what song is “What are you lookin’ at?”?

A. Strike a Pose
B. Vogue
C. Candy Perfume Girl
D. Dress You Up


47. “It doesn’t pay to be” one of these:

A. A thief of hearts
B. A Christian
C. A runaway lover
D. A star


48. Where did Madonna say she “Lost my reputation, bad and good”?

A. New York
B. London
C. Hollywood
D. Paris


49. Name that tune! “Why do all the things I say, sound like the stupid things I’ve said, before?”

A. I’m so Stupid
B. Skin
C. Human Nature
D. I’d Rather Be Your Lover


50. Which song asks if “you like to boogie-woogie”?

A. Hey Mister DJ
B. Beautiful Stranger
C. Ray of Light
D. Music


I'll put the answers in the reply. I know you're thrilled about this.



End Blog.

I Gots a New 'Puter

I bought a new computer. Because I wanted one.

You know how EVERYONE says that Windows 7 is so completely AWESOME? They're lying. Windows 7 tells me that I don't have permission to do, like, ANYTHING that I think I should be able to do.

Look, I know it's a really important host file, but I want to change it. You should let me. If my computer stops working, I've backed it up. LET ME CHANGE STUFF! I realize this operating system was made for the computer ignorant or technologically unsavvy masses, but come on... how the hell do I change these security settings? (Hello pot, my name is kettle.)

If I want to run a program that I think is completely safe, you should let me, even if you think that it's probably a trojan or virus or something. Yes, thank you for the warning, but really, if I'm going to be stupid enough to ignore it, you should let me. And if I get a virus, it's clearly my own damn fault. Once again, I have backed up my computer...

Sigh.

Regardless of the operating system, everything else is really pretty. And it runs so fast when you compare it to my old machine.

I've gotten most of the really important things back. Just a few I'm having trouble with... one of them being my router program. It's not NEEDED, but I really liked how I could see everyone using my network in case there was someone using it who shouldn't. It was pretty and user friendly. And I can't figure out how I had it in the first place.

The only other programs I really miss are all the photo editing and graphic ones. And all my old emails.

Other than that... Pretty.

Really really pretty.


End blog.