Saturday, February 23, 2008

The Free Go

You may not know this about me, but I'm a seriously awful bowler. I remember bowling with my parents when I was much younger - probably between the ages of 7-10 or so, and I have to tell you, I was much better at it then. And we weren't even using the magic bumpers or anything.

Since then, I have lost all bowling talent. And that's why I invented the "Free Go". Here's how it works:

Make sure you get two balls to play this game. One must be really light (think 6 pounds) and then something else that looks like you actually know how to play (an 8 or 9 pound ball usually works for little weakling girls like me). Now, throw the light ball down the lane, but don't give it too much power. It'll knock over a few pins (if you're lucky!). Usually this will not reset the mechanism that re-racks your pins. Don't ask why, it's a big mystery. I think if the computer likes you, you get to go again. So, while your pins are rolling about on the lane, take the other heavier ball and toss it down the lane as well. You'll likely pick up a few more pins... and if not, the heavier ball will register whatever it is that resets the pins.

VoilĂ ! The Free Go.

Now both of your balls will be returned to you and you can try this again. The key is to get some pins down on your first light-ball turn, because if you get a gutter ball, the machine will reset itself. The second key is to not push the reset button... or let anyone else near the reset button who would push it for you, thinking that they are being helpful... or trying to prevent you from cheating.

Listen up. The Free Go is NOT cheating. It's a FREE turn given to you by the all knowing bowling gods. It would be wrong to upset them. It's totally cool to throw another ball down the lane if they don't reset your pins. They want you to. It's just that most people only have one ball... so they push the button to get their ball back and go again. This is silly and unnecessary. Get two balls.

It doesn't work every time. It's an art that must be mastered. I am very good at it. We all have talents.

With this technique, my score nearly broke 100. I would have done it too, if it wasn't for frame nine where I got two gutter balls.

Look at that score! (N would be me.) One of the spares was a two ball spare (a "real" one), the other was a four ball spare, and that strike? It was a two ball strike. I was the second best player that game.

...I also got the most Free Gos. Think how you could improve your game!

Also - Yes, I do think that you could throw MORE than two balls down the lane in the event that the second ball also does not register the reset of pins. However, I have no idea how many pins and balls it can handle and I get nervous of putting three down there at a time. But, by all means, check it out. I'm sure that anyone can be a great bowler if they try hard enough.

End Blog.


Anonymous said...

Impressive. The free go makes you the second best bowler on that team! Leave it to you to find a way to circumvent the system. *Proud parent indeed!*

big sis said...

You might like this thing called candlepin bowling. It's what they do in the Boston area. The pins are cylinders, not vase-like, you get three balls *on purpose*, and the balls fit in the palm of your hand, so they're super light (for weakling women like you). You should get a Wii to practice. Wii bowling is fun! Wiiiiiiiii!!!!!