Thursday, December 28, 2006

From Texas to Missouri

Probably the worst thing that I could have gotten for Christmas was a digital camera with video capabilities. Because I will abuse that privilage from now on.

This is a video blog (vlog) of my trip home from my parent's house. It is one of the most boring and sleep inducing drives I've ever made. This is mostly due to the fact that I only have Remy to talk to and she just sleeps the whole time. I envy her.

I'd tell you to enjoy this little production, but I'm not sure if that's possible. It might not so much be "enjoyable" as "sad" or "painful to watch". But, I know that the people who haven't seen me in a year might like to remember that I'm still a dork. And this is the best way to really show that.

That was fascinating. I turned an 8.5 hour trip into 5.5 minutes. If only that's all it took...

I will torture you in the future with more inane things such as this. Unless my life suddenly gets exciting.

You're so lucky!!

End Blog.

Monday, December 25, 2006

My Mom Thinks This is Funny

And she's totally right, too. I admit it. It is funny.
Merry Christmas to me.

End Blog.

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Christmas Eve Dilemma

Mom, mumbling under her breath as she peers into the refrigerator:

"This is a crisis. This is a ketchup crisis. The great ketchup crisis of two thousand and six."

Stores are closed for the holiday. We have little ketchup and need for cocktail sauce. I'm not sure if we'll survive without it. Oh, the horror!

Trust me, the was the funniest thing I've seen in a while.

I love my mom. =)

End Blog.

Tablet PC

Oh! I nearly forgot!

I played with a tablet PC at work on Thursday for... well, all day. It's a little weird to get used to and if you really want everything to be in text format it would probably be faster to type it, which you can still do if you want to (unless you have really nice handwriting. I, however, still use capital letters in the middle of sentences when I'm writing and it doesn't always fix that issue - though I was surprised by how many things it figured out on it's own. The people who built that software - or whatever - did an amazing job).

So, the features where you actually get to write and draw pictures and stuff? Very cool. It could completely replace our bench notes and notebooks. I'm so ready to go paperless. I kinda want one. Okay, I really want one.

The only thing that sucks is the glare on the tablet when you're actually in the lab. The lighting in there isn't really ideal. And we are getting new lighting, but who's to say that it won't make it worse?

Plus, who knows if they'll actually shell out the money for this stuff. I mean, this would make us almost as cool as those CSI shows. I mean... Technology!!

Someone should really get on inventing all the cool gagetry the crime shows have. And then make it affordable for government agencies.

You could be millionaires!

Call me, I'll be your consultant for a percentage of the profits. And a tablet PC.

End Blog.

Throwing Things in a Cowboy's Mouth

I went to the Cowboy Mouth concert on Thursday night in Kansas City at the VooDoo Lounge in Harrah's Casino. It's a small venue with bars on either side of the place (not like metal bars, but like the kind that serve you alcohol). It's quite nice for seeing small shows.


I was kinda upset with the crowd. They were throwing things at the band. Tossing the tootsierolls wouldn't have been a bad thing, but... c'mon... you didn't need to throw 12 million at them. And, it wasn't even on the stage. People were literally trying to hit them! Even I was annoyed and I wasn't trying to play music for them. If it had been me, I'd have stopped the show and left. As it was, they didn't even play Hurricane Party, so there was no reason to be throwing tootsierolls in the first place. And I kind of hate you for doing it because I think they would have played that song otherwise. And it's such a fun song.

Although, I do wish they would have played Irish Boy as well. That would have been a super fun song to sing in a crowd.

I know I'm showing my age since I'm complaining about this concert... but, someone totally pegged me in the back of the head with an ice cube as well. It hurt. A lot. I think my head is likely bruised from it because I still have a sore spot where it hit. I'm fragile. People shouldn't chuck ice at my head. Seriously.

But, I suppose it was fun all the same. Especially since I got to see Bren and Sam. Me loves them lots. (As does Remy.)

But what wasn't fun was only getting 4.5 hours of sleep and then going to work and driving to Texas afterwards. I was very tired. But, look! Here I am blogging from Texas in one piece. Hooray.

End Blog.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Weekend, Bloody Weekend

Remember how I said that Kansas City was the place to be not too long ago? Well... oops.

This weekend (after a rather slow two months) there were 11 homicides. Eleven!

Nothing says "holiday cheer" like murder.

On the bright side, these 11 deaths happened at only two major events. A quadruple homicide and a septuple(?) homicide.

There was also another group of 7 killed in Kirksville, MO this weekend, but thankfully our lab had nothing to do with that one.

Isn't it great that we're currently under construction and can't do lab work? Yeah... it's awesome.

In other news, I got a subpoena today. If there isn't a plea bargain or a continuance or anything, I'll be testifying on January 8th. I'm not really looking forward to it. Everyone, keep your fingers crossed for me until then.

End Blog.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Sending Christmas Cards

I'm not a thoughtful or ambitious person, but many of the people I know are. I've gotten several Christmas cards from friends so far this month. I'm happy that they think of me, but it also makes me feel sort of bad for not being one of those people that takes the time to send cards. I should. But I didn't. Mostly, I suck.

But this, of all cards, has been my favorite so far.

Simplistic. Normal. Cute.

Except... when I took it out of the envelope, it was not upright. Therefore, this is not the card I saw. No, it didn't merely say "joy" on it. Oh no.

This is the card I saw instead:

One that says "ho!" This, my friends, is a brilliant card.

Needless to say, since I was holding this card upside down, it opened backwards and confused me. Then the writing inside was all upside down. Which confused me even more.

I imagine that I looked like a chimpanzee holding this card and trying to figure out its intricacies.

So, Candra, thank you. For sending this particular card to me, and for taking the time to send it at all.

And for all my friends out there... May you have joy (ho!) this holiday season and a very merry new year.

Please forgive the slacker in me and know that I care for all of you.

I hope this message brings you holiday cheer.

Because I'm a dumbass.

End Blog.

Famous People I Don't Look Like

I suppose everyone that does this sort of feels the same when they get the results.

And that is: "I look nothing like these people."

And that's exactly why they're celebrities and you're not. Totally makes sense when you put it in that persepctive, huh?

But... yeah. I look nothing like these people. Otherwise, I could be an Oscar winning actress.

The internet is such a cool place to waste time, isn't it? I should be doing laundry.

End Blog.

Kansas City - The Place to Be

I was looking over 2005 year end numbers the other day at work because I got an email from one of the task force meetings focused on sexual assaults in the state of Missouri. Last year there were 1369 reported rapes in the state. According to national statistics, it's been claimed that nearly 60% of rapes are never reported.

From that statement I'd give you an estimate of the total number of rapes that have occured in the state in 2005, but that sounds a whole lot like math. So, if you're really interested, knock yourself out. (I actually jotted a few numbers down an attempted this, but I'm not sure the number I produced is in any way correct. Though, if you're curious as to how bad my math is, I came up with 3423 total sexual assaults.)

Anyway, in looking over all the information, I've discovered something important. And that is this:

If you're going to get raped, do it in Kansas City. We have nearly 4 times the amount of resources (Sexual Assualt Nurse Examiners) here than in St. Louis. In fact, if you add up all the resources available in all the different regions of the state, Kansas City has more than all of them combined.

So, don't get raped anywhere else. You know... as if you had control over such things.

What a happy, uplifting blog I've produced here. I'm sorry I had such a need to tell you this.

I promise something more upbeat soon.

End Blog.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

My dog is wagging her tail in her sleep.

It's kinda weird.

End Blog.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Holiday Fraud Alert

This just in from your friendly neighborhood criminalist: I'm a criminalIST, not a criminal!

(Or, for all of you who never thought about it before, here's wonderful new information on how you, too, can become a criminal.)

If you buy holiday gift cards from a display rack this holiday season, beware. You may become a victim of theft. People have started jotting down card numbers in the store while waiting in line to check out and then, in a few days, they call to see how much of a balance they have on your card. Once they know the card has been activated and there’s money to be spent, they start shopping online. It’s suggested that if you want to purchase a gift card to do so directly from a customer service representative where the cards are not viewable to the public.

Also, remember to keep your purchases out of view by locking them in your trunk (I don't have a trunk!) and to keep your receipts and items separately so they aren’t stolen and returned for cash or gift cards. If the store’s policy is to credit your charge card (if that’s how it was purchased), it’s suggested to give the old plastic a little use as another deterrent.

Happy holidays. Enjoy Consumerism at its best.

End Blog.

Things You Don't Care About

1. I had to get the computer guru at work to help me fix a little problem I made for myself when I inadvertently changed a folder option in control panel that I shouldn't have. It required a registry edit to fix. I was scared. I hope I never have to do a registry edit ever again. Computers are just supposed to work. By magic.

2. My DVD drive doesn't always read DVDs I put in there. Some of the rented ones aren't even recognized. Obviously I've done something horrible to Freddy in my efforts to clean up hard drive space previously. If I get this fixed (if you know what's wrong, tell me!) I'll never have to worry about it again.

Edited to add: Sweet! I did a system restore and fixed this problem! Of course, I think I shouldn't have picked a date so far back because I had so many new updates to re-download. But I think I have my computer working all properly again. I'm sure it would read those Wonderfalls DVDs now! Just a bit more minor tweaking to do... Hoorah!

3. Okay, maybe not NEVER, but I have some time on my hands, for sure. I just got a 500GB external hard drive. My computer's never looked so empty.

4. Due to time and budgetary constraints, I get to paint my workplace tomorrow. That's right! They're letting us pick up brushes and paint so that we can repaint our lab cigarette smoker's yellow! (The paint is free because we have gallons of it already at our disposal.) This is actually exciting for me. I don't have a problem painting... and it's going to be such a lovely deviation from reading my training materials for fibers and the FT-IR. Plus, I don't have to dress nice. That's always a bonus.

5. My printer's working again! (It's amazing what a trip to Best Buy will do.) I have new ink. It's so expensive. Next time it might just be cheaper to buy a new printer.

6. I have credit card debt again. (It's amazing what a trip to Best Buy will do.) It shouldn't take too long to pay off though. Man, those two weeks were nice, we're they? I bet it wasn't even two weeks...

7. I think I'm going to see Apocalypto tonight. I really had no desire until I read the reviews for it. Now I think it might be interesting. And really gory. And it'll be really fun to watch Beth watching it.

Edited to add: It's always fun to watch movies with Beth! *Whispering* "I don't like the scary monkey!" (You probably had to be there.) The movie was... well, I expected better quality from Mr. Gibson. Let's just say the make up and special effects won't be winning any awards. There was some ridculousness going on. It made me laugh... but I don't think it was supposed to. At least, not where I was laughing.

Okay. I think that's it for this installment of things you don't care about.

End Blog.

Monday, December 11, 2006

You Learn Something New Everyday

I've been doing a lot of reading at work recently since the lab is currently under construction. It seemed like a good time to go ahead with my fiber training and getting familiar with the FT-IR (Fourier Transform Infrared). I knew I'd be learning a lot about this topic and that I'd likely find it interesting.

And you know what happens when I learn things? That's right! You do too.

For example:

There are many man-made fibers that come from natural compounds. I didn’t know this. I assumed man-made meant synthetic. However, this is not the case. Let's look at rayon. What I always assumed to be some sort of synthetic chemical turned magically into fabric is nothing but wood cellulose that comes from pine, spruce, and eucalyptus trees. This cellulose is somehow dissolved in an aqueous solution and extruded through holes of a spinneret into filaments with a stretch spinning process.

Clothes. Made from wood! It's not just for paper anymore.

Who fricken knew?

Also, I read this little tidbit that was really encouraging:

"It is quite ludicrous to expect that it would be practical, or serve any useful purpose, to attempt to determine the origin of all extraneous fibers found present on a garment. This is sometimes suggested in court as a practical and sensible solution."

That last sentence actually made me laugh. Because I know it's true. Man, I'm going to hate court so much!

That is, unless it produces something like this. I mean, really, Supreme Court, I love you. This is nearly poetry. At least, it is for me. You all might not find the beauty in it like I do. But really… moving.

Wherever he steps, whatever he touches, whatever he leaves, even unconsciously, will serve as silent witness against him. Not even his fingerprints or his footprints, but his hair, the fibers from his clothes, that glass he breaks, the tool marks he leaves, the paint he scratches, the blood or semen he deposits – all of these bear mute witness against him. This is evidence that does not forget. It is not confused by the excitement of the moment. It is not absent because human witnesses are. It is factual evidence. Physical evidence cannot be wrong; it cannot perjure itself; it cannot be wholly absent – only its interpretation can err. Only human failure to find it, study and understand it, can diminish its value.
(Harris v. United States, 331 US 145, 1947)

Here's to me not diminishing value.

End Blog.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

English Laughter

Today I got sucked into YouTube for... well, frankly, hours. It's a frightening sort of addictive personality I have. Luckily I've never tried drugs because I'm sure that I'd be checked out of rehab and dead by now.

Anyway, I stumbled onto Paperlilies channel. I'm not sure why I was so enthralled there. Was it the English accent? Was it the random content? Was it that she slighty, in the oddest sense, reminded me of Drew Barrymore/Sara Rue? Was it the few times where she vlogged in an American accent? I have no idea.

But, seeing as how this was near the end of her video section, and after I had watched countless of her videos, I think I may have gone temporarily insane. (Someone spiked the vids!) Because I could not, and I mean could NOT, stop laughing at this:

I feel we would be fast friends. We have the same sense of humor and both think we're geeks.

And oh, the out takes!

So, Bryony, thanks. Even though I didn't ask for your permission to post you on my blog. Isn't the internet a crazy thing?

I suppose that's what happens when we put ourselves out there.

End Blog.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Homicide, Life in the Lab

Yesterday I turned in my very first crime scene report and diagrams from the scene I went out to... ooooh, two months ago and worried that there would need to be many corrections made to it. But, turns out, I'm a report writing machine, Baby. I received this email today from the sergeant (excluding case info and his name and such):

Your homicide report was very good and I approved it today. Let me know when you’re tired of the warm, dry lab environment and I’ll get you a spot on Dogwatch down here.

Doesn't he just make you feel all warm and fuzzy? I'm glad he likes my work enough to try to steal me away, but he doesn't really want me on dogwatch. I mean, I complain about how cold the interior of the lab is; I would not work well outdoors in winter time.

But I would like a pair of the awesome blue cargo pants the CSTs wear as uniforms. Though, I'm sure I'm the only one.

It's been a while, so I'll say it again, just to make sure there are no doubts.

Man, I love my job.

End Blog.

Monday, December 04, 2006


I just watched a teaser for the new Harry Potter flick. Things of note:

1. The boys finally cut their hair. Thank goodness.

2. It's coming out Friday, July 13th, 2007 - Not near Thanksgiving. Hoorah! Four months earlier than I thought and on a Friday the 13th.

3. Snape! Yay Snape! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! They can hate him all they want. I know he's a good guy.

Check it out.

End Blog.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Credit Where Credit's Due

Tonight I paid off my credit card. Completely. I have absolutely no credit debt. Not one red cent.

My computer, all those darn bridesmaid dresses, the many airline tickets to Texas and Missouri, my bed, and any other miscellaneous "Mmmm, I can't really afford that" thing I needed when I was in DC (And we are talking about need, not want)... it's all paid for.

It makes me want to go out and buy something ridiculous and expensive. Like a new digital camera or a laptop or a playstation or something. But, I won't.

Next year I'll finally be saving an almost decent amount of money from every paycheck. Finally. Maybe 26 is the year I'll grow up. =)

Of course, we're not mentioning the student loan debt. Maybe when I'm 65 and still posting on this thing you'll see me say, "I just paid off my education loans!" Shortly thereafter I'll probably retire. Or die. Or break a hip (I'm totally getting osteoporosis the way I drink Dr Pepper) and then have medical debt.

Anyway... it feels like a milestone. Now I have three credit cards with a balance of zero.

I'm cool like that.

(Doesn't this post heading sound like an episode title of Veronica Mars? I think I might watch too much TV.)

End Blog.

Edited to add: "Credit Where Credit's Due" is the title of Veronica Mars; Season 1, Episode 2. Confirmed. I do watch too much TV.


I think this is where Remy hangs out when I'm not around. I found her here today, just looking out the window.

She really is a watchdog!

Getting this picture wasn't easy. I had to sneak up on her and then just sort of guess where she was a) because it was dark and b) because the LCD screen on my camera doesn't work and I don't actually have a view finder.

So, should you come over and stay in my guest room, hope you don't mind dog hair. Because I think she's already claimed this room since she spends more time in it than I do.

(Photoshop really works wonders. You should have seen the poor quality of this image when I took it. Also, the new upgrade is waaaaay nicer for uploading photos. I no longer need two programs to do it!)

Beware everyone. Remy's on guard.

End Blog.


Blogger's been bugging me to update to their new system for the past... oh... 2 months? Maybe more. Today I decided that I'd finally just do it. Usually updating things leads to regret. Some feature that I love changes for the worse. Colors and style aren't the same. Fonts, icons, pictures... are all wrong.

For example, I just downloaded the update for Internet Explorer. It's all funky and cartoony now. I'm not pleased. Good thing I've been using Firefox almost exclusively for the last 9 months. I also just downloaded the update for Window's Media Player as well. The icons all changed. It's not the little round colorful circle anymore. It's an ugly blue flimstrip thing. Ick. I liked the look and style and feel of these things because it's what I knew. I don't like when things change and I'm too lazy to look into changing them back - if that's possible.

Thus, I didn't really want to upgrade blogger. But, I finally have after all this time. They wore me down with their constant "upgrade!".

Thankfully there are only a few minor things that have changed that I don't enjoy. Most of it was all for the better, and I will easily get used to all of it. So, that's why things look slightly different around here. But, mostly the same. Which I'm happy about.

I thought about changing the whole format, or maybe just the colors... but, I'm not really sure that I could handle it. I like the blue/green/tan scheme. It's purdy. And quite amazing that I liked it in the first place because it's a template that I didn't make any changes to.

Anyway... party on.

End Blog.

The Trickster

Remy lulled me into a false sense of secuirty this week. She's been nothing but the model perfect dog, but it seems she's smarter than expected. Or, maybe I'm just dumber than I thought.

Thursday evening a friend and his dog came over to visit. We were outside and he called to Remy, I let go of her leash and she went right to him. We repeated this again, this time with me calling to her. No problems. As it had recently snowed, and I could tell Rem wanted to run around in it so badly, I figured I'd let go of her leash so she could frolick with the other dog. And seeing as how he comes when called as well, I figured there'd be no problem getting them back.


As soon as Remy knew I let go of the leash, she bolted directly into the woods behind my apartment. Whoops! It took me a few minutes of coaxing to try to get her out, but eventually I had to trudge in there after her. So, I'll only trust her in fenced in, non-wooded areas for a while.

Friday night I took her to a coworker's house. (The same people that found her for me in the first place.) They have three cats and two dogs and a fenced in back yard. Remy had a blast running around in it. She's really quite fast. Also, I took a tennis ball with me so we could play.

The first time I threw said ball, I expected it to bounce, forgetting that in snow no such thing happens. So, I toss a ball, the dogs don't see it (it's dark out), and it sinks into a pile of snow. We humans have no idea where it is. We tell the dogs to find it. They're too interested in one another to care about a silly ball. There's chasing to be done!

So, we start searching the yard. After a few minutes I decide I don't really care about it and will see how Rem plays with a tennis ball some other day. I mean, it'll be easy to find in the daylight when the snow has melted, right? However, my persistant friend is still looking. So, I continue as well. The dogs run and frolick about.

Still no ball. It's weird that it could disappear so completely! We start making a grid on the ground and walk over the snow. Eventually we'll step on it, right?

It's then that I look up and see Remy dash off in the yard, tennis ball held firmly in mouth. I could swear she's laughing at me.

How long did she have that thing!?

She's a trickster, I tell you! Trickster!

I think I've trusted her to quickly. There's some mischievousness in her still. Though, I do blame myself for yelling, "Play with me!!" Obviously we have two different ideas of what exactly that means.

End Blog.

PS - I would like to note something I find utterly hilarious. Rem's afraid of cats. Afraid! She won't go near them, avoids them at all costs, actually jumps when surprised by one, AFRAID! It's too funny. Poor girl. Something traumatic must have happened in her puppyhood.

Saturday, December 02, 2006


Not much else for me to add to this brilliance.

I kinda want to paint my face blue and run around yelling "Freedom!"

End Blog.