Wisdom To Go [Stirred Not Shaken]

Profound. That is what I am.

Deep, with great perception, understanding, and knowledge. In other words, drunk.

It’s quite amazing. And legal. And sometimes I don’t know why. Other than the fact that prohibition sucked and everyone found a way around the rules. Just the act of prohibiting something makes you want it more. No wonder it didn’t stick. The golden jewel, just out of reach, the brass ring. Like the carrot in front of the tortoise, coaxing it along towards something unknown. Maybe something that’s not necessarily good for it. Like the trail of Reese’s Pieces that trapped ET in Elliot’s custody. He was totally kidnapped. Am I the only one that sees that? Just like alcohol leads some people into trouble. The great equalizer.

With the exception of me, tonight. I’m totally smart right now, and no one is around to witness it. I should use this time productively. I should study for my last final. I should learn finite math. I should cure cancer. I should… well, I’m not quite sure what to do with profoundly smart. And I’m not so sure I really do productive well. As we can see, from the creation of blog at 2am while drunk… when there are finals looming in the near future.

Productive is really not my forte. I’m more like the Queen of Slackerdom or Princess of Procrastination. It works for me. It agrees with me. It agrees with alcohol on Thursday night. This from the girl who didn’t drink on Thirsty Thursday with the rest of the college campus. Right now I can say there would be three people that would be amazingly proud of how much I’ve grown since then. I won’t name them. They know who they are.

But back to the thought I was originally trying to have… alcohol, legal at 21. As if 21 somehow makes you magically responsible. Or able to hold your liquor. Or maybe just able to conduct a stream of consciousness while under the influence. But I don’t think age matters much. I know 23 year olds who are way more responsible and apparently older and wiser than their years. I also know people who are quite opposite. They're more fun. And I think how you act under the influence of alcohol is all about the company you keep.

The sad drunk, the angry drunk, the violent drunk, the horny drunk, the funny drunk, the foolish drunk, the fall-down-drunk drunk, the to-hell-with-responsibility-I-can-blame-it-on-alcohol drunk, the giggly drunk, the depressed drunk… the rambling drunk… did I have a point? Other than “look, I know adjectives“?

We want what we can’t have. Lots. Alcohol makes that worse. Trust me. And sometimes, walking toward the light leads you to the promise land of granted wishes. And once we’ve obtained what we’ve wanted, it’s not at shiny as it appeared in the showroom window. We want what we can’t have, we don’t want it anymore once we finally get it, and we don’t realize what we have - until it’s gone. Lather, Rinse, Repeat. The circle of life... it moves us all.

My advice: Get over it. Satisfaction is never guaranteed, no matter what’s written on the packaging. Learn to want less, expect less… and sometimes you’re pleasantly surprised. Things cannot be both “new” and “improved”. Once you improve upon something, it’s no longer new. It’s just not.

So, be a slacker. Be selfish. Make yourself happy. Drink on a Thursday night after finals.

Or don’t. Because, as I’m sure you’ve noticed before, people who are drinking are always recruiting others. But who wouldn’t want to join the fun after the first drunken “I love you” slips from someone’s lips? Most of the time, I’m that kind of drunk. I’m the one who loves everyone, who touches everyone, and who thinks that every conversation is intimate, personal, and secretive. And slightly humorous if not mostly hilarious. I think I should apply that drunken philosophy to the rest of my sober life.

Spell checker rocks my world. I think it was invented for clumsy drunken fingers at 2am.

Blog End.