Friday, December 17, 2004

My Love For Charles Alderton

Carbonated water, high fructose corn syrup and/or sugar, caramel color, phosphoric acid, artificial and natural flavors, sodium benzoate (preservative), caffeine.

These eight (or nine) things in combination make the most perfectly delicious and refreshing soft drink in the world. And if I drink seven and a half of them a day, I could totally get my daily supply of carbs. Who needs nutrition anyway? I’m nearly positive one can run on sugar and caffeine for days.

I’m an addict. Sure, it seems harmless. A simple pleasure… but try to talk to me at noon if I haven’t had had my morning soda. I’ll be going through caffeine withdrawal symptoms. Headache, crankiness, paranoia. And I mean extreme and unreasonable suspicion that you’ve stolen my liquidy goodness. Because why haven’t I had it yet? It’s NOON.

I praise the genius that is Charles Alderton. I worship at his feet. I adore him every time I pick up a frosty can and pop the top, hearing that crisp release of pressure and satisfying scrape of aluminum past aluminum. Because the first taste, that first swallow, when you’re completely parched and in need of thirst quenching… that is the best part.

The pure brilliance of the drink is that it’s good cold, it’s good warm, it’s good carbonated, it’s good flat, it’s good alone, it’s good mixed with… other things… In other words, it’s the best beverage ever created.

Charles Alderton, Mastermind. Inventor. Genius extraordinaire.

Pavlov would be proud. My mouth is watering as I write this. So, I’m cutting this praise short and venturing into the kitchen for my pop. Because, it’s almost noon, and well past time for indulgence in my favorite simple pleasure.

Oh, how I love you, Dr Pepper.

Please recycle.

Blog End.

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