Dental Wisdom

X-Rays Enclosed
DO NOT BEND

I got my teeth cleaned today. Let's just say it was a moment of awakening. I... didn't know that tartar buildup could be so hard. I've definitely broken off pieces of that junk before and thought it was portions of my tooth. Which is what it felt like today... like they were taking away part of my teeth.

People told me they love getting them cleaned. They feel smooth and wonderful. Bullshit. I don't mind the cleaning so much, but I miss that tartar build up. I don't so much care that it was "bad" for my teeth (which I no longer believe since I've never had a cavity up to this point in life), but I care that now it feels like I'm missing part of my teeth. There's this large gap at the back of my bottom teeth that never used to be there. It feels odd. And they aren't completely smooth, either... so that was a lie as well.

Anyway, I asked the doctor about my wisdom teeth. Turns out I have them, which is why I'm so smart. She wants to take them out. Probably because she is threatened by my braininess.

I got a referral to an oral surgeon, which also means I got to take home the panoramic x-rays of my mouth, which of course are so cool I want to share with the blogosphere.



Turns out, not only do I have all 4 of my wisdom teeth which will hopelessly never come in and will only cause my rear molars to rot right there inside my head... but I never lost two of my baby teeth. Both of my canines never fell out.

This means two things.

One: The tooth fairy owes me coin. I was jipped out of something in my childhood.

Two: (And she'll probably deny or not remember this.) I was right. When I was 16 or 17, I told my mom that I didn't think that I had ever lost one of my canine teeth, and I was pretty sure that the one in my mouth was still just a baby tooth. She said that was impossible and that I most likely just didn't remember losing it. Because I was a teenager and I must have lost it. Well, I'm now 26 and I still have two baby teeth.

So... HA! You can see them right there, all hiding up there on the top row. I have the option of getting my baby teeth pulled and fixing a bracket to my teeth and pulling the adult teeth down... but I'd have to see an orthodontist for that.

It's funny that the dentist saw that as a viable option. Why the hell would I ever do such a crazy thing? Not any part of that procedure sounds even remotely enjoyable. And then, on top of that, you get to pay to do it! No thank you.

So... it comes time to make a decision on my wisdom teeth. Getting them removed doesn't seem like something that I want to do anytime soon. For one, I'll likely miss work. Two, my insurance will only cover 80% of that and I assume it's a very costly procedure. And three... I'm a big baby and don't want to have surgery unless I have someone to bring me home and put me in bed and bring me applesauce and ice to put on my swollen chipmunk cheeks.

Le sigh. And this, my friends, is why everyone I knew had their wisdom teeth out when they were sixteen. About the time I was making observations that all my baby teeth had yet to come out.

So, I'm a little slow in the tooth care game, but at least I have zero cavities in this little mouth of mine. And fancy x-rays to prove it.


End Blog.

PS - If I ever die in a plane crash, remember this post. My dentist is Erica L. Fisher, DDS. (Teehee, her initials spell out elf.)