Friday, August 19, 2005

The Waiting Game

I don’t really know how to sell myself. Which, I suppose is good in the sense that you’ll never confuse me for a prostitute… But I don’t know where I really stand in my interview either.

It was my first huge, look, I have a Master’s degree, give me a job kinda of thing. And I at least think that I didn’t totally blow it. Of course, maybe they were just being nice to me. I mean, if they hated me, would I even know it? Although, they would be very skilled liars. I did get an optimistic vibe leaving the place.

However, I have no idea how long it’s going to take to hear back from them. Or how long it’ll take if they decide to call me back for a polygraph. Or after that, how long it would take to actually hire me. The ballpark figure I got was “by the end of the year”. That’s four months. And I’m impatient.

Mostly because I know I’ll have no source of income come October. And I will not go back to Target. I can't bring myself to do it. I guess I had just hoped that this would be a bit speedier. Realistically, I guess it would be just as silly to hope that I didn’t have to pay rent anymore and food and gas suddenly became free. Or that I would win the megamillions jackpot. Then I wouldn’t even need a silly job. I could sit around and split my time completely between the television and internet and be contentedly happy, never having a worry again. Well, unless there were two conflicting showtimes! Thank goodness for VCRs. Wait, what am I talking about? I have millions of dollars! I'd totally have on demand and tivo.

I’m just sick of waiting. I’m ready to start whatever it is that’s to become of my life. Because I know where I am now is nothing close to what I want to be.

This all sounds so depressing, but worrying about my future is something I’ve been doing a lot of recently. And most of it stems from my lack of funds. There’s this commercial on the radio that claims “people think about money once every 30 seconds”. I don’t know how that could be true. Because if I did that, I think I’d have to commit myself into a long-term care mental facility.

But meanwhile, while in Missouri, I shall stop worrying for a few days and bask in the beauty that is this trip:

  1. The flight cost $5.00
  2. My bags were not lost
  3. No hotel costs
  4. No rental car expenses
  5. Green, green farmland as far as the eye can see (mmm, corn and soybeans, how you feel like home)
  6. And my personal MO support group showing up for me in spades. What a difference a year can make.

And so…

It’s been a lovely trip so far. Even if it turns out that it was just to spend a little extra time with friends. I love you guys! *tear*

End Blog.

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