Pub Crawl for Cancer

Saturday a group of us participated in the Pub Crawl for Cancer in Westport. It is an insane event that must raise a ton of money based on the number of people that were there. And it turns out it's an excuse to be completely ridiculous and offensive in public and people will cheer for you as they pass.

Let me explain.

The group that I was with was a bunch of college frat friends of Daniel/Alex/Tom, and then my friends who joined their group. There were over 20 of us. Their group dressed up based on an SNL skit/music video "I'm on a Boat". (See below. If you don't already know about this, you have to watch it to understand these pictures. I had not seen it before Saturday, so the joke was completely lost on me. It was sad. I think this means that I am old.)



Because we didn't know what the theme was on the other half of the team, and we were encouraged to "dress silly" by the team captain, we decided to take our fake mustaches out in public again. They were also a huge hit. I get more compliments when I wear a mustache than at any other time... ever... in my entire life. Scratch that - you get just as many compliments in a fake mustache as you do when you're wearing a bridesmaid's dress. I know which I'd rather, but as long as the end result in these costumes is getting drunk, it doesn't really matter much. Right?

I think that is all the background story you need. Enjoy photos from the pub crawl.

Howdy!

Team captain, Alex in his ascot. Classy.

Only Brenda and I managed to keep our 'staches the whole day. This is the free after party. Trust me, there were way more people there than it looks.


He'll probably kill me for catching this photo at such a perfect time and putting it up on my blog. All the guys felt the need to rip each other's sleeves off. I'm sure it has something to do with being a boy, so I'll never understand.



I have no recollection of this. I don't know what they are doing. Maybe it was when I went to the bathroom because I didn't think I was so drunk that I wouldn't remember...


Messy much? She puts ketchup on her ketchup.

Brilliant! Best photo of the day.

Hungry found us and followed us around all day. We said he could stay as long as he wore a mustache, too.

If you don't know who hungry is... (Is this a lesson in pop culture or what?)

I think Ashley's hungry...

Hungry for beer!

And Tom's hungry for Hungry.

This little dude was obviously too fun.

And this, folks, was how our group walked through the streets of Westport. We had a boombox that continuously played the SNL song. We were on a boat!

There was a buoy. His back read "No Wake Zone". He would stop traffic in the middle of the street. It was amazing we didn't get hit by a car or arrested in the streets. You can kinda see T-Pain behind him.


Colleen somehow convinced the people working the burger line to let her flip the burgers. It's amazing what being appropriately dressed will get you. The back of her shirt also stated "I Flip The Burgers"

I can't tell you how many strangers on the street asked ME how this was possible. I would shake my head and say that I wasn't sure, but I did know that she gave him crabs.

It was a pretty awesome day. I'd totally do it again. Nothing like getting cirrhosis to cure cancer. It's worth it though.


End Blog.

Texas Car Inspection Road Trip

Every May I find myself driving to Texas to get my car inspected. As you know, it's an eight and a half hour drive which kinda drives me a little stir crazy after awhile. Like, oh, five or six hours in when I want to remove the state of Oklahoma from the United States and sink it in the ocean.

I thought I'd give you a quick recap of the trip, according to landmarks... because it's more fun that way.

Start from Kansas City.

There's the wee little city off in the distance of this picture. Bye Kansas City! See you in two days!

Here is the Paseo Bridge. Off to the left, you can see some cranes working on building the new bridge.

This is somewhere in southern Missouri. Missouri has roads that are named simply by letters. This town is the home of my initials. I imagine it is a magical place with unicorns.

Here is a McDonald's that is built over the turnpike. Seems like a completely normal place to put a McDonald's, don't you think?

This is a giant feathered Native American who greets you as you enter Big Cabin, Oklahoma. He is saying, "Thank you for paying that toll, sucker. If you'd like to lose more money for no good reason, I have built a casino for you right down the road."

This is also in Big Cabin, which, you can see is a very popular tourist location where all the NASCAR drivers go for vacation. There are more cops per capita than race cars. Although, that's probably true everywhere. At any rate, someone is really irate about receiving speeding tickets in Big Cabin. There are three of these trailers along the roadside. I took this picture as a representative sample of all three.

Then I pass a big giant lake in Eufaula. It is cleverly named Lake Eufaula. By this time in the journey, I have managed to kill one million bugs, just by moving my windshield through the air at high rates of speed. Some of them leave me with parting gifts that are yellow or red and gooey. At the gas station, I will scrub my little window clean again.

And then there's the Indian Nation Turnpike. I'm on this road for nearly 70 miles. In 70 miles, I saw 11 cars on my side of the road, and I passed every single one of them, just trying to get the hell out of Oklahoma.

This is where Jesus is buried. In Oklahoma. On the top of a hill. Don't drive into smoke.

This is a giant heifer. In a fence. I like to pretend he's made of paper mâché.

Here is a decapitated pilgrim. I think the feathered dude in Big Cabin may have done this, but I have no proof... yet.

This orchard in Texas is showing off its oranges and strawberries on the roadside. It's true that everything is bigger in Texas. Look at their produce!

Some time after this, I arrive at my parent's house which pulls me out of my delirium. Hooray! And, the car even passed its inspection and everything. Hooray times two!

Then, I drove home and saw all this stuff in the reverse order. Fascinating, I know.


End Blog.