Rape Culture

I'm sure you've heard about the allegations regarding Ben Roethlisberger and how he raped an employee at Harrah's in Lake Tahoe. I don't know how much you're aware of, or what is going on in the media/blogosphere.

Some take it seriously, some do not, some call her a gold digger. Some say the allegations can't be true because there was no criminal report and it's a year later.

Are you serious?

I deal with this EVERY DAY. And a reason why rape is such a big deal is because of media events like THIS and how poorly they are ALWAYS handled. Remember Kobe Byrant? Anyone know how that ended? All charges were dropped because the woman refused to testify. I don't blame her, either. Do you know how scary that would be? Do you even have any idea how horrible the whole process is? It might even be more emotionally scarring than the assault.

And with this case, everyone told her not to report. That she was lucky to have had sex with this man; he was a legend! Any girl would be lucky to be in her place!

It makes me sick to know that we could have done something for this woman, if only she had come forward. It doesn't matter if your rapist is famous, it's STILL RAPE. She didn't just have sex with him and regret it. She didn't just have sex with him when she didn't want to. That's called rape. She didn't have sex with Ben Roethlisberger, she was raped by him. THERE IS A DIFFERENCE.

This would have been the *perfect* case for anonymous reporting. We're working on it. I promise. You can get a sexual assault exam at the hospital and not report to the police. Do not let anyone talk you out of it. Get it done - even if you're not sure if you're going to prosecute or report to the police. If you decide to a year later, at least the evidence has been collected. Hell, it'll probably take us another year to work it and get a DNA profile if there's anything probative in the kit anyway.

There is help out there. And there are advocates and counseling to get you through it. This woman was hospitalized for depression after the event because she had absolutely no support system.

Our culture, the media, society's views - they're wrong. It's up to all of us to change them.

Here's a really great story regarding rape culture.

If you don't know what it is, read this.

Often times I am reminded how largely ignorant the general populations is. I wonder how it could be that I am brighter than SO MANY people. I don't think of myself that way - until something like this comes along. Then I feel pretty arrogant... but I think, appropriately so.

The media cares about celebrities. About Michael Jackson's death. It's all we report on. I haven't seen one story representing this woman appropriately.

Sure, I believe in innocent until proven guilty. But that doesn't mean that you don't believe the victim's statements. Leave it to the courts to decide - but don't discredit her. It took a lot of courage to come forward.

Sorry, I'm too angry/excitable about this topic... Ending rant. (Totally check that link if you haven't.)


End Blog.

KC Star Letter to the Editor

I don't read the paper much, and I don't visit it online much, either... but we usually have a paper floating about the lunch tables at work and the two coworkers I was eating with today were perusing its pages. So, I was reading bits and pieces over their shoulders and those things pointed out to me.

I read a letter to the editor that made me really angry, so I pointed it out to my friends so that I wasn't the only one seething over it. They were equally as angry, because unlike the author of the letter, they were educated in this matter. (I found it for you online at http://www.kansascity.com/309/story/832962-p3.html and have copied it below.)

Sexualized culture promotes rape

The Star’s article “Motive may never be known” (9/15, Local) questioning how Edwin Hall went from juvenile delinquent to rapist and murderer turned a blind eye to the obvious.

The abduction, sexual assault and murder of Kelsey Smith is more evidence of the negative effects of a highly sexualized culture on communities. Rapes have increased in Kansas City by 45 percent. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports that 26 percent of teenage girls have a sexually transmitted disease.

It is cause and effect: garbage in, garbage out. We can’t afford to be indifferent and dismiss as harmless fun the pervasive flood of highly sexualized commercials, videos, TV entertainment, Internet porn and sexualized music, all exacerbated by emerging handheld communication technologies. The pornification of America has changed everything.

Kelsey Smith was likely one more tragic victim of fantasy-driven criminal behavior. The public will never know? Wake up and smell the coffee. We all know. Denial and desensitization are the issues we should examine.

Phillip Cosby

Executive director, Kansas City Office

of the National Coalition for the Protection

of Children and Families

Overland Park

Really? Really Phillip Cosby? There are a million fallacies about what you have written.

I'd love to know where you got the statistic that rapes have increased in Kansas City by 45 percent. LOVE to know. Because, as one who works on these sorts of crimes, I have not seen an increase like that. Maybe you need to be more specific. Rapes have gone up 45 percent since when? The 1920s? Maybe. But you could counter argue that women just weren't reporting it back then.

Besides that one little "fact", I'd like to point something out to you regarding criminology. Rape isn't about the sexual act. It's about power and control. It's violent, not sexual. So, your argument is completely STUPID.

I banish you from writing letters to the newspaper, now and forevermore!

Secondly, I looked up the National Coalition for the blah blah blah...* of which Phillip Cosby is the Executive Director.

Do you know what their mission is? "To protect people from the harms of pornography and the sexual messages of today's culture." Oh, come on!

I for one, am sick of people not taking responsibility for their actions. Edwin Hall is a rapist and a murderer and you, Phillip Cosby, are blaming his actions on all of society. No. This is Edwin Hall's fault. There are millions of people out there right now exposed to the same horrible cell phones and television and commercials and music that he was and they seem to behave appropriately. All of society is not running amuck raping and murdering each other. This is not a cultural problem. Rapes and murders happen everywhere - even places where they don't have televisions and internet pornography.

People should hold themselves accountable for their actions. It's not a question of the "pornification of America" or what sort of pressure society is putting on the populous, but rather having good moral and ethical character to know that rape and murder are wrong and abstaining from them. Our culture has not desensitized us to that and entertainment has not brainwashed society to turn a blind eye to these actions.

If they had, Edwin Hall wouldn't be in jail for the rest of his life.

Oh no! Someone take my cell phone away from me! I'm feeling the urge to rape and murder! Is that prime time television coming on? Oh Noooooooooo!


End Blog.

*This site is uber religious. The offices are bases in Kansas. Enter at your own risk. As a gauge of how crazy they are in their religion, they have a section under their links to five different homosexuality recovery websites.