Real and Fantasy Football

I love Carolyn's new job. She just got free tickets to the pre-season Chiefs v. Rams game! It's tomorrow night and she's taking me with her because she's super nice like that. So, that's special for me - I get to see the Rams (Dad's favorite team) and the Raiders (Mom's favorite team) this year. Too bad the Chiefs don't play my favorite team, the Giants.

I like going to football games way more than baseball games, but don't usually go to that many since they're so much more expensive than popping in to see the Royals play. So, this is really awesome.

While we're on the subject of sports, I came in 2nd in my division in fantasy baseball, and fourth in overall points.

Meanwhile, I've just joined a fantasy football league. We had our draft on Saturday and here is my roster:

QB Peyton Manning, Indianapolis Colts
QB David Garrad, Jacksonville Jaguars

WR Plaxico Burress, New York Giants
WR Larry Fitzgereld, Arizona Cardinals
WR Donald Driver, Green Bay Packers
WR Darrell Jackson, Denver Broncos
WR Vincent Jackson, San Diego Chargers

RB Brandon Jacobs, New York Giants
RB Clinton Portis, Washington Redskins
RB Willis McGahee, Baltimore Ravens

TE Alge Crumpler, Tennessee Titans
TE Owen Daniels, Houston Texans

Defense Minnesota Vikings
Defense Seattle Seahawks

K Stephen Gostkowski, New England Patriots

I ended up with one more wide reciever than I wanted. I was trying to keep the running backs and wide receivers in equal numbers, but setting stuff up for an auto draft is kinda hard. I didn't want any Dallas or New England players, simply because I hate both of those teams, but I did end up with the Patriots kicker. I suppose that's not so bad.

I'm pretty happy with my team, for all that I know about football. So, this should be fun. It's my first year. Considering I did relatively well in fantasy baseball even though I'd never done it before, I have high hopes. However, I am in a league where everyone has played before.

It's okay though. Since I know that all of football is based on how awesome your mascot is, I've decided to name my team the Fire Dragons. I'm sure I'll do well based on that fact alone.


End Blog.

The Ultimate Bowl Game

For a long time I've been talking about how I don't think the Superbowl should be played by the two best teams in the leagues, but rather, by matching up mascots to play each other. This remains somewhat difficult if I'm restricted to stay within leagues (conferences?), but I've finally sat down and tried to figure out the best match ups that we should have the privilege of watching in Superbowl format.

Evenly matched mascots, taking on one another. This is what America really wants. Trust me. I have my finger on the pulse of America.

For example:
Titans v. Giants
Jaguars v. Panthers
Jaguars v. Lions
Ravens v. Cardinals
Ravens v. Eagles
Ravens v. Falcons
Ravens v. Seahawks
Raiders v. Buccaneers
Raiders v. Vikings
Chiefs v. Cowboys
Chiefs v. Redskins
Chiefs v. 49ers (they pushed lots of natives off of their land)
Bengals v. Lions
Texans v. 49ers (you know Texas and California really want to fight each other anyway)

Regular season games would include the following (in all combinations for multiple listings):
Colts v. Broncos v. Chargers
Falcons v. Eagles v. Cardinals v. Seahawks
Patriots v. Texans
Cowboys v. Redskins v. 49ers
Vikings v. Buccaneers
Panthers v. Lions

Some other interesting match ups may be as follows:
Texans v. Saints
Steelers v. Jets
Dolphins v. Seahawks


But really, we should get serious about this. There are several teams that don't have fair mascot rivals. So, I propose, we either eliminate these teams and vote them out of football, or create proper opposing adversaries for them.

Buffalo Bills
Miami Dolphins
Pittsburg Steelers
New York Jets
Chicago Bears
St. Louis Rams
New Orleans Saints

So, we need another very large grazing animal (unless we pair the Bills with the Redskins or Chiefs, but that doesn't seem like a very fair fight - or, alternatively, the same grazing animal, we can just name the team the Bison), another water dwelling creature (I suggest a shark), we should bring back the Oilers, get another mechanical flying machine mascot (missiles, rockets?), have another type of bear – like the Grizzlies, another small grazing animal ( like sheep or maybe a team named Aires), and a get team named the Angels and we'll be all set.

The following teams I think we should get rid of entirely:
Cleveland Browns
Green Bay Packers

These mascots were named after a guy and a sponsor, respectively. They have dumb mascots. I object.

Or, they can only play each other in the "Dumb Mascot Bowl". Because they suck.

And so, this is how it should be from now on. Then we won't have ridiculous things happening like baby horses beating the shit out of gigantic bears at the end of football season. This makes so much more sense when you think about it practically.

I am an evil genius who will revolutionize the world. Follow me.


End Blog.