Daniel's Magical Mustache

Dan stopped cutting his hair and shaving his mustache parts sometime in March, bringing much joy to the land. He looks like he's preparing for time travel back into the 70's.

In that light, I have given Daniel magical powers, just like Samantha Stephens had on Bewitched. Which would also make Beth Darrin. It just goes to show that true love can endure the most vexing situations!

Enjoy. Laugh. Repeat.

I wonder what sort of spells he's casting... maybe I don't want to know.

Life would be a little less lively without this guy.


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Oh Happy Day!

I got my economic stimulus payment check today. I have big plans for it to go directly toward a credit card payment and thus not stimulate the economy at all.

Take that, President Bush. That's how you stick it to the man.


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She's Totally Hawking Out, Man!

When Remy goes into "alert mode", she usually shows it by raising the hackles on her back. Now, most dogs I've encountered only raise their hair in the areas over their shoulders and just before their tails. But not Remy. No, Remy has a full blown mohawk all the way down her back. It's the coolest thing... ever.

This morning I stuck her on her cable (thankfully, since I don't always) and went to the bathroom myself. When I came back, she hadn't moved from her position and was standing stalk still... totally hawking out. (I will not get rid of that expression, I love it.) She did this the night I got my grill and put the cover over it, too. It was fantastic, she had no idea what the huge black thing in the back yard was, and therefore needed to show her dominance.

She was super intensely focused on the back of the yard. So, I did what any normal person would do... I went and got my camera.
This picture was taken through my backdoor glass. You can see Remy trying to put the fear of god into the black cat along my back fence. (To the right of the tree.) It's just sitting back there, staring back. I think I interrupted a stare-off. I'm pretty sure Remy's saying, "Get out of my yard, cat. Mine." (I mowed it yesterday. Doesn't it look fantastic? Maybe the two of them are just fascinated with the grass...)

I opened the door, and apparently this was permission to attack. Remy bolted, I yelled at her to stop through laughter, and the cable snapped her back to reality as the cat hopped over the fence. Remy almost did a back flip and crashed into the grass. It was hilarious. And then I cursed myself for not turning on the video option on the camera I was holding in my hand. Missed opportunities.

She shook it off and trotted back to the patio, still in full hawk mode. You did good, kid.
Man, she really hates cats. It's awesome. Also, today I heard that the cat she used to live with (who I assume tortured her constantly) has died. I think Remy might have a little grin on her face about that one.

I think if it had taken a little longer for me to name her, she might have been Mohawk. Or just Hawk. Because both of those names are currently nicknames for her. She does it so often and so readily, and she just looks so cool with her bad self. One of the many personality quirks I've grown to love.

Especially because I get to scream, "She's totally hawking out, man!"


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The Rubik's

A few weeks ago I went to the dentist (no cavities!) and while I was in the waiting room, I picked up a Rubik's Cube. I'd never bothered to learn how to solve those things when I was little, but as I was sitting there trying to figure it out, I thought, "It'd be really neat if I could solve this while I was waiting. That would make me really cool." Okay, at least I thought it would be cool. It would be cool to me if I saw someone else do it.

So, the next time I found myself in Wal-Mart (yay!), I bought one. And now I am cool. (Relatively speaking.)

Just in case you don't believe me...

Scrambled:

Solved the top green side and the first layer.

Solved the second layer.

Solved the cross/middle of the bottom side.

Moved the corners to their appropriate places, but not in the correct orientation.

Two corners in the correct location - this is the hardest part because it looks like you're messing up the rest of the cube while you're doing it!

Finished.

And the other side, too.

I figured if I didn't show the progress someone would say that I just took it out of the package and snapped a picture. The bright colors in these photographs make me happy.

Yay me! Now I just have to remember this long enough to impress people in tooth pain. I rock so hard.


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Stop Animal Cruelty

Remy's had it with the hat wearing bullshit. She put her foot down. But, as it turns out, I'm relentless... I had help... and quite frankly, I'm more than twice Remy's size. Here is photo documentation of the latest "Remy in a Hat" photo shoot. I got it for free at the baseball game on Sunday. Enjoy!

The hat is currently on the floor.

Stop moving!

"I hate you."

So. Much. Hate.

"Did you drop food? I smell food."

"Le sigh."

"I give up."

"Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine. I still hatechoo, though."

And thus concludes the toughest time I've had putting Remy in a hat. Look forward to float trip pictures - everyone's required to have a "floatin' hat" and I'm going to try to get Remy in all of them! (Like it or not.)


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Firefox Download Day

I'm not usually a fan of software updates because they usually ruin everything. Okay, usually they just change things enough to make me angry because everything is different - even if they have improved stability or features or what have you.

However, my beloved Firefox is coming out with version 3 on Tuesday (June 17), and I trust them beyond reason that they will not screw up. They are claiming more than 15,000 improvements, which is kinda funny because I don't really think they have much to improve upon. I love them. So, I plan on helping them set a Guinness Book Work Record for the most software downloads in 24 hours.

I beseech you to download it on Tuesday. Also, I just used Firefox to figure out if I spelled and used that word correctly, and I have. That's right, I have a spellchecker (it doesn't like that word, by the way) right here in my Firefox browser. It's worth it just for that, don't you think?

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Because It's Been Too Long

I present to you, Remy in a hat.

She's tired because she's a hard workin' country dog. You can tell. From the hat.


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Bringing Inside Out

When I came home from work yesterday, I let Remy outside, as I always do. Except, instead of going outside to pee, as she always does, she picked up her ducky (thanks for the present, Mom) and sprinted to the back of the yard. Then she laid down and didn't move for fifteen minutes.

(Look how short my grass is!)

She just set up camp with all the comforts of home and I never thought she'd come in. And she wasn't hooked to her cable, so (God forbid) I had watch her the whole time to make sure she didn't wander off. Although, she didn't move... at all. I'm not sure what it was all about, but it was fairly entertaining. Because anytime she does something out of the ordinary, it's entertaining. Obviously, I have a very limited existence. Maybe I'll go put a hat on her head...


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The Sasquatch Cometh

I knew there was good reason to drive fast and get the hell out of Oklahoma every time I've found myself there. I just stumbled upon this show on the Travel Channel called Bigfootville. It's about different places in Oklahoma where people frequently see hairy, nine foot tall creatures. Now, I'm not afraid of Bigfoot, I'm afraid of the yahoos that think they see it.


For some reason I thought Bigfoot allegedly lived the Pacific Northwest, not Oklahoma. Oklahoma is supposed to be the home of The Chicken Man. But at any rate, here's what I've pulled together: it has a broad shoulder span, no neck, giant cone shaped head, is 400-500 pounds, has reddish to brown to black hair, swinging arms, and a long stride. And apparently it doesn't defecate because the ranger claims he's never seen any droppings that could have come from Bigfoot.

Does anyone else find it odd that there's someone whose job title is actually "Bigfoot Researcher" (more commonly known as Bigfooters)?

The show is hilarious because they have several people in the woods in the pitch dark looking at movement in trees 100 yards away, wondering what it is because they can't see anything except darkness. And then they think that something is throwing rocks at them. Because I'm sure that's what Bigfoot would do if it happened upon you in the middle of the night in its own back yard.

Then one guy totally freaks out because... I have no idea why... movement in the woods, wind? It scared him so much that he wanted to leave. And as they were going, another rock was thrown at them!

Don't you think if they did exist we would have found some evidence of them? I mean, they are supposed to be pretty big. Some droppings, bones, something in the fossil record, maybe?

Next time I drive through Oklahoma, I'm bringing my gorilla suit and stilts with me. It'll be too easy...


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NASA is My Hero

You should watch When We Left Earth: The NASA Missions on the Discovery Channel. It's awesome. I've gotten goosebumps. I've teared up. I still really wish that I was an astronaut and could go to the moon.

And watching this series, it amazes me that we even got off the face of the planet in the first place, let alone made it to the moon. And on that note, when's the last time that the country has been so inspired to do anything that a president says he wants us to do? It's still so unbelievable that we accomplished all that we have in the space program.

And I completely agree with Hillary Clinton - in one of her speeches she spoke about the energy crisis and going green and alternative forms of energy - and she said it should be our new moon mission. And she's right. We should be challenged to lose our dependence on oil within the next decade. Kennedy wanted to put a man on the moon. And we did it. How ridiculously crazy is that? It might not be as glamorous as leaving the Earth and visiting the moon, but if we could get minds together like those that created NASA, I have no doubt that we could actually get it done.

We went to the moon. The moon. How hard could it be to not use petroleum?

Really, you should watch it. It's so inspiring. Where is the government funding and the scientific backing we used to have? I think we must have been much smarter in the sixties. Where is our sense of community? America, pull yourselves together. Go fix the world without going to war.

Our new moon is green.


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I Surrender

Okay, I give up. I can't beat 47 minutes in the lawn mowing department. It took 58 minutes this evening. Mostly because I stalled it a few times. It was 10 days between mowing... so, again, I really should be cutting it every week. Le sigh. Too bad. I was busy doing other things like spending all my money and hanging out with my super fun friends.

But, I tried to beat the 47 minute mark and had a heart attack and got hit by lightning in the process. Okay, not really... but I'm out of shape and the first to admit it, so I get winded and sweaty and heart attack-y when I do things like this. Not only was I trying to race the 47 minute clock, but a thunderstorm. I did not beat either. The last 3 passes I had at my lawn were done in the rain... which turned into pouring rain with lots of thunder and lightning. I didn't get hit though. I guess that's just reserved for petroleum plants in these parts.

So, I give up. I don't think I CAN mow my lawn in less than 47 minutes. However, I would like to extend the challenge to anyone reading this blog. I challenge YOU to mow my lawn in less than 47 minutes.

Dare you.

Double dare you.

Triple dog dare you.


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Lightning and Fire!

This happened last week, but I didn't get around to blogging about it because I'm lazy. I'm not sure if it made national news or not, but it was the only thing that was on tv here on Tuesday night. I know, because I was looking for election coverage and couldn't find it.

Lightning hit this giant petroleum tank and it caught on fire. Which is totally cool - even Mother Nature is against us using gas and hell bent on increasing prices.

Here's a summary story online: Lightning Strike Causes Petroleum Fire in Kansas City

Then, on Wednesday morning on my way to work, this is what I saw, since the firefighters could only let the tank burn out and there was a bunch of smoke. Take that, Mother Nature!






Traffic sucked that morning, and pretty much every other morning this past week. I think that my honeymoon is over. People found out that it wasn't that bad with all the construction going on, and they came back... and ruined everything.

Oh well. Maybe I'll have to start waking up earlier again... or continuing being a few minutes late for work.


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