It's Blog!

How I Spend My Saturday Late Nights

2011-07-17T00:45:00.000-05:00

I've been getting a lot of spam bots on AIM recently. I was bored tonight so I talked to one of them. Actually, I'm bored enough to let you read it, too. I took out all the links and stuff because, really, you shouldn't be clicking that kind of stuff anyway.

Here you go:

dababygrl2: hey!

drnik46: go to sleep

dababygrl2: Hey what's up? 23/F here. u?

drnik46: why do people talk to computers, I wonder

dababygrl2: Hmm. Have we chatted before?

drnik46: that statement was ironic. If you weren't a computer, you'd have totally laughed.

dababygrl2: Oh ok. I wasn't sure. Anyways... Whats up?

drnik46: The sky.

dababygrl2: Oh Im like sooo bored. Theres nothing to do.

drnik46: Take my first piece of advice this evening and GO TO SLEEP.

dababygrl2: Ohhh wait. I got a idea. Have you ever watched a girl strip on cam? :-X

drnik46: Nope.

dababygrl2: Welllllll.... Do you wanna watch me strip on cam? ;-)

drnik46: Nope.
drnik46: I guess computers don't sleep.

dababygrl2: Yeah? Ok you have to signup through this website that my cam is linked trhough so i cant be recorded ok?

drnik46: But they also don't wear clothes.

dababygrl2: It only takes a second babe and its free. k?

drnik46: lame.
drnik46: Computers SHOULD wear clothes. Where is their modesty?

dababygrl2: http://xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx ok go there then click on the gold JOIN FREE button at the top of the page. ok?

drnik46: Haven't we programed in modesty yet?

dababygrl2: Also it does ask for a credit card when you signup. But DONT worry

drnik46: Also. I'm blind, so this doesn't seem that exciting.

dababygrl2: It dosent charge the card at all. Not even a penny. Its just to make sure your over 18. k?

drnik46: I think computers would be able to tell that without a credit card.
drnik46: Somehow.
drnik46: They're like super smart and all.

dababygrl2: K babe well hurry up. When you get logged in then view my cam and we can have some fun :-X
dababygrl2: I also have some toys ;-X but you have to tip me some gold or take me in private to see those.

drnik46: I mean, did you see Watson on Jeopardy?
drnik46: Probably not. I mean, you seem to have to be naked playing with toys all the time.
drnik46: That's really a shame.

dababygrl2: Hey lets talk on there my aim is messing up.

drnik46: Are you trying to pay for computer college?
drnik46: It makes me sad that there's no one on the planet that will see this. You know, on your end of the conversation.
drnik46: Well, and on mine.
drnik46: Because I'm blind.
drnik46: If you remember properly...
drnik46: From a few minutes ago
drnik46: You know what? i'll just put this on my blog.

You're welcome, internet.

End Blog.

There's Also Email

2011-04-26T22:48:00.001-05:00

And one would assume there shouldn't be a character limit from email. I mean, how could there be, right?

So, maybe there are options. Maybe no one needs a computer anymore. Maybe smartphones are enough. Maybe I'm going to cry... My hard drive failing sucks.

And you know what? I've been ignoring my blog anyway, but more that I can't do it, well, that's always when you want to.

You don't know what you've got til it's gone.

At least everything is backed up from my computer. And it turns out my phone is freaking awesome. Put a new browser on it tonight and there's an ap for dropbox. Coolest thing ever. Now, if only bayer life was longer when you're constantly using it.

End Blog.

2011-04-26T22:42:00.001-05:00

It seems there is a character limit. Well, awesome...

2011-04-26T22:40:00.003-05:00

(2/2) on? I hope so, because I'm without a phone for the next few weeks.

2011-04-26T22:40:00.001-05:00

(1/2) Mobile blogging. That's the newest thing I'm trying. I remember once, this was a thing I did, and it did not work. Have I grown in technological applicati

River in a Hat!

2011-04-18T20:57:00.000-05:00

I got a new hat. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!

Coolsville, Daddy-o.

I like how her ear is totally all wonky. Hee.

End Blog.

30 Days of TV: Day 10 - A Show You Hated But Ended Up Loving

2011-04-01T17:29:00.002-05:00

This one's easy. I watched the first three-ish episodes of Grey's Anatomy when the show started seven years ago and I thought the main character, Meredith Grey, was whiny and annoying, and I decided that I didn't have to watch a show that made me mad. Because she did. She was a doctor for goodness sakes! Be a grown up, not a fifteen year old with high school drama!

Season One Cast

I didn't watch it for several years. I'm not sure exactly who got me back into it. I think it was probably Carolyn who forced me to watch it once she moved in. And when I started watching it, it was a completely different show. Meredith was tolerable. She'd grown up. Mark Sloan was pretty and had been a great addition to the cast. Same goes for Callie Torres.

And I started watching it. And I fell in love with it. The characters were so much more put together and well rounded. I was even convinced to go back and watch older episodes so I could understand their back story, and I actually liked it. LIKED IT! That horrible, annoying show that I turned off because it made me angry...

A third of the original cast is no longer in the show. And now, instead of nine main characters to follow around, there are more like fourteen. I think that more people lead to less ridiculous drama and better story telling. Often times I think it's hard for a show to manage such a large cast, but Grey's does a pretty good job of it. There are still characters that I'm not a huge fan of, but the good news is since there are so many characters to follow, you don't often have to suffer through their scenes for very long. The downside is that if you have people that you love, you always wish their scenes were longer.

Season Seven Cast

Honestly, Mark and Callie saved this show for me. The latest episode (the musical event!) basically had Callie, Arizona, and Mark carry the episode, which is pretty awesome for three non-original cast members. I like that the show evolved in such a way that new cast members felt organic, like they belonged there, and were developed well enough to be in the forefront and carry and entire episode... in song.

So... hated it due to the main title character, but love it for pretty much everyone else. (I'm still not a huge fan of Meredith.)

See what others think:
Brenda
Jessie
Dany (to be published)
Beth (to be published)

End Blog.

30 Days of TV: Day 09 - Best Scene Ever

2011-01-19T22:34:00.000-06:00

Day 09 - Best Scene Ever

Best scene ever? EVER? I don't even know where to start thinking about this. I mean, I already talked about my favorite X-Files episode and that awesome thing from Dexter... Nothing immediately stands out as BEST, and deciding on something like that seems like a lot of pressure. I mean, there are lots of good scenes in different shows. How do you rank them?

After talking that out with you all and a bit of internet perusing, I've decided to go with a comedy on this one because I think that "best scene" sort of automatically puts itself in a drama category and this comedy probably would be overlooked by most people. But, I settled here because it really can hold its own against a lot of other stuff that I've come up with. I have chosen this scene because 1) it was hilarious, 2) we STILL talk about it, 3) it was unexpected and brilliant, and 4) it was such a hit there was extended content.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you How I Met Your Mother's very own Robin Sparkles in Let's Go To The Mall. (Also, I think I need to mention that the slap bet came about during this episode because Barney bet Marshall that Robin was in a porno... which will explain a scene further down...)

And let's not forget the full version of the video:

After this we were treated with Sandcastles in the Sand

And even this season, we're still discovering additional little nuggets of Robin Sparkles that not only keep continuity, but are even more funny than ever before.

I couldn't find the small missing clip between these scenes. Basically Barney and Ted continue watching this with Robin and she turns it off because they keep making dirty jokes about the content. It's not really their fault though, as they are talking about beavers and wood... After that, it goes on to this scene later in the episode:

So, there you have it. I give best scene ever to Let's Go To The Mall, but mostly because of all the support and follow-up it was given. And that it was the inspiration for Beth's costume at my golden birthday 80's costume party.

See what others think:
Brenda
Jessie
Dany (to be published)
Beth (to be published)

End Blog.

30 Days of TV: Day 08 - Best Twist

2011-01-15T08:00:00.021-06:00

I'll have you know it took me an hour of messing around with HTML code to learn how to insert page jump breaks so that I don't spoil anyone on this post, and it turns out that all I really needed to do was update my posting editor. So... there's that. Whew... Man. I feel dumb and yet technologically savvy all at the same time. Aren't computers awesome?

Okay, on with it:
Day 08 - Best twist in a series

Dexter, Season 4 finale, "The Getaway"

Shhh... Spoiler Alert

If you have not seen this episode, and if you plan on watching Dexter at some point, DON'T EVEN BOTHER GOING BEYOND THE CUT. If you have not seen this episode but got spoiled and know what happens, I would recommend that you still not click the link. Even if you know "what" happens, you might not know exactly "how". Even if you do know what and how... it's so much better in context. If you can keep yourself from seeing this scene, please do so. I gasped and screamed at the tv when it happened. You should get to, too.

If you have already seen this episode or never ever plan on watching this show, ever, in your whole entire life... you may proceed.

Read more »

30 Days of TV: Day 07 - Least Favorite Episode

2011-01-14T18:17:00.007-06:00

Day 07: Least favorite episode of your favorite TV show

I've been putting off this post. I'm sure you could tell. But you see, the thing is... this one is hard. The easy answer is any episode from seasons 8 and 9 that did not have either Dana Scully or Fox Mulder in them. But, that's the easy way out... So I figured I should actually pick one in the remaining 7 seasons.

That being said, I had to sift through 161 episodes in 7 seasons of the X-Files because I don't have a good memory for things that I don't like. I tend to block them out and forget them. Who wants to remember crap?

So, after the sifting, I've narrowed it down to three episodes. They left no lasting impression other than me remembering that I didn't like them.

Season 1, Episode 7 - Ghost in the Machine
This episode reminded me of Tron. A central operating system at a company basically killed a guy by dropping an elevator while he was inside it. They were building an artificial intelligence and it talked to them, even though they never gave it a voice synthesizer. And some dude was trapped in a bathroom... and got shocked by an electrical current for the key card locks... and... well, it was just dumb. I think they uploaded a virus to kill it, like they did in the movie Independence Day. Regardless, it was boring and more unbelievable than most episodes.

The Central Operating System is always watching.

Season 5, Episode 11 - Kill Switch
This episode was written by William Gibson and Tom Maddox, who aren't even X-Files writers. I don't know who they are or anything about them other than they have something to do with the computer world (probably) and they wrote one other X-Files episode called First Person Shooter. (A lot of people also really hated that episode. I was only okay with it because they let them dress up and shoot big guns.) Anyway, it's another episode about computers and AI.

Kill Switch had nothing going for it that I can remember. I suppose if you really cared about computers in their infancy, back in 1998 (c'mon, it's true, think about what computers were back then) you liked this episode. But I was 17. I didn't care. (And dude, Ghost in the Machine happened in 1993. I was 12 then. No one even HAD a computer.)

I have no interest in watching her.

This episode was all about an Artificial Intelligence living in a computer that could kill people by a Defense Department laser satellite in the sky. I also believe that Mulder got caught in a bunch of tangled wires and they wanted me to believe that the computer AI was killing him. This episode was stupid. Much like when they did BASICALLY THE SAME EPISODE in season 1.

Maybe they should just stop making episodes revolving around computers!

Season 6, Episode 13 - Agua Mala
This episode gave us a hurricane, rain, darkness, big flashlights and a half-seen sea monster creature that attacks people at their most vulnerable moment: on the toilet. It reminds me of The Host (Flukeman) but without all the good parts. Plus, what - they were running out of ideas? Probably I don't like these last two because they've been recycled. There were also lots of one-dimensional, annoying, secondary characters and no one cared when they turned up dead. The best thing I can say for this episode is that people are wet in it the whole time.

Okay, so it's a pretty big bright side.

Yep.

Maybe I'll give it another shot...

HAHA! I did it!
Aside from these episodes, it's a solid series. So, don't judge it by these, just skip them! And just remember that you don't have to watch anything after season 7, if you don't want to.

See what others think:
Brenda
Dany (to be published)
Jessie
Beth (to be published)

End Blog.

Carol of the Dogs

2010-12-21T21:35:00.010-06:00

I've finally gone off of the deep end. I'm just forewarning you before you actually click the video below...

This started as Brenda's joke since she spent the weekend in Kansas City with me and she's really to blame for originally giving a voice to Remy. Clearly things have gotten out of hand since then. She made River sing the first line of Carol of the Bells about 600 times... with new words, of course. It got stuck in my head. I sang it 600 more times.

Occasionally we would add more words or different lines. Most of the time it was just "ham egg and cheese" over and over again. Tonight, as I should be packing, I made the video that we joked about doing all weekend. There were many different ideas and versions floating around, but this is what I settled upon. (For ease = one camera shooting without any editing.)

True, it would have been funnier to have the dogs more animated as they sang, but they were trying to nap as I... er, they... put on this performance for you.

Congrats, Nikki. You're not even 30 yet and you are already the crazy dog lady. This is why I shouldn't be left alone very often.

Aren't you glad to know me? If you think this is crazy, remember, I have to drive to Texas tomorrow... with only these dogs for company. Thank goodness they are so talkative.

To sing along, here are the words: (Forgive me, Mykola Leontovych, I know you never intended for the song to end up like this.)

River:
Ham, egg and cheese
Give me some peas
Corn dogs and beers
Dill pickle spears
Turkey and rice
Gravy's so nice
Fire grilled steak
A piece of cake

What's on your dish?
How about fish?
Hand me the bread
Oh, what a spread

Remy:
I would like some crispy bacon!
I would like some crispy bacon!

River:
To my dearest friend,
I highly recommend
That you have some wine
The last bite is mine

Remy:
Bacon! Bacon!

PS, River doesn't even like all the foods she's singing about!

Merry Christmas, everyone!

End Blog.

30 Days of TV: Day 06 - Favorite Episode

2010-12-20T22:59:00.002-06:00

The favorite episode of your favorite TV show: X-Files, Season 5, Episode 12 - Bad Blood

This episode is a "he said, she said" story. It was inspired by an episode of the "Dick Van Dyke Show", titled "The Night the Roof Fell In", in which Rob and Laura Petrie have a fight and then each tell their neighbor their version of what led up to it.

In this X-Files episode, we follow both Mulder's and Scully's point of view as they describe their version of the same set of events. They have traveled to Texas to investigate the serial exsanguinations of several local cows, and one dead human. Mulder believes that there are vampires in the area... so much so that he stakes one. Ronnie Strickland's family then threatens to sue the FBI for 446 million dollars. Mulder and Scully try to get their stories straight before talking to AD Skinner about the situation.

They set up the episode with this exchange:

Scully: Skinner wants our report in one hour. What are you going to tell him?

Mulder: What do you mean what am I going to tell him? I'm going to tell him exactly what I saw. What are you going to tell him?

Scully: I'll tell him exactly what I saw.

Mulder: Now, how is that different? (Scully gives him an exasperated look) Look, Scully, I'm the one who may wind up going to prison, here. I've got to know if you're going to back me up or what.

Scully: (indignantly) First of all, if the family of Ronnie Strickland does indeed decide to sue the FBI for - I think the figure is $446 million - then you and I both will most certainly be co-defendants, and second of all ... (pause) I don't even have a second of all, Mulder. $446 million. I'm in this as deep as you are and I'm not even the one that overreacted! I didn't do the ... (she makes a stabbing motion) with the thing!

This is the best episode because even though they are basically telling the same story twice, it's seen in completely different ways. You get to see who Scully thinks she is, and how Mulder perceives her, and the same is true for Mulder.

Mulder thinks Scully is unapologetic and skeptical. Scully thinks Mulder is too enthusiastic and impulsive. They both think the other talks too much and doesn't listen to them when they speak.

They have different ideas about what they think are attractive qualities.

And this is quite possibly the most quotable episode in X-Files history.

Reasons to love it:
-The best opening to the episode, ever.
-Luke Wilson guest stars.
-The autopsy scenes are hilarious. (Even if they don't know what a large intestine should look like.)
-Mulder sings the theme song from "Shaft" while under the influence of chloral hydrate.
-Scully's quote (in clip below), "You're not going to tell me it's that Mexican goat sucker thing," is a call back to a season 4 episode about El Chupacabra. The episode is titled "El Mundo Gira".

The following two clips are told from Scully's perspective:

And although this is videotaped from a television and the sound and picture quality are pretty horrible, this is one of my favorite scenes in the episode:

Even the actors loved this episode. Gillian Anderson often says that it's her favorite. Here's a short behind the scenes clip.

The writing was superb. The interaction between Mulder and Scully was at the perfect point in their relationship. The banter was incredible. The story was entertaining and the bits of comedy were perfection. I always thought that the series was at its best when the episodes could make me laugh.

On top of that, this was a stand alone monster-of-the-week type of episode. It works better if you know the characters and their relationship, but you don't need to know about it to enjoy. I wore out my copy of this episode on VHS. I don't often like to rewatch things that I've already seen, but this one is well worth it.

I shall leave you with some of my favorite quotes (promise I'll be brief):

Scully: Begin autopsy on white male, age sixty, who is arguably having a worse time in Texas than I am, although, not by much.

Mulder: DANA?! He never even knew your first name!

Scully: Yesterday morning when I arrived at work you were, uh... characteristically exuberant.
(In his verison of events, Mulder says: "Yesterday morning began like any other morning. You arrived at the office, characteristically less than exuberant.")

Scully: [voiceover] Having completed the autopsy, I checked into the Davey Crockett Motor Court. [Name appears at bottom of screen]
Mulder: It was actually the Sam Houston Motor Lodge. [Type corrects itself]

See what everyone else thinks:
Brenda
Dany (to be published)
Jessie
Beth (to be published)

End Blog.

30 Days of TV: Day 05 - Why??

2010-12-19T22:56:00.012-06:00

A show that you hate: True Blood

It's really a shame too because I like a lot of Showtime shows (edit: oops! This one is on HBO... maybe that's a reason I don't like it? Showtime clearly has better quality television) and this one had potential. I actually really liked the first season, but then it turned into utter rubbish. You might think that I'm saying this because the story doesn't follow the novels. I'm not. In fact, I tried to read the first book after I'd seen a couple of the episodes in the first season, thinking that books are always better then movies/television shows. Turns out I didn't like the books at all. I suppose it only makes sense that the series turned out the way it did...

I watched all of the first season and actually liked the show. Then, the second season just turned ridiculous. I suffered through it for a while and then realized that I didn't have to watch it just because Carolyn had it on the TV. It was life changing. =) Seriously, after I decided that it wasn't worth my time and if I didn't watch it, I couldn't be annoyed with it, I felt a lot better. No more hour long frustration in my life!

So what did I hate about it? The main characters were whiny and annoying. They didn't solve their problems, they just seemed to have them and then get more problems and there was a never ending horrible cycle going on. The characters that I did like usually turned up dead.

There was also not a lot of explanation as to what was going on. And as I understand it, even if you read the books, the storyline was often confusing. I wanted there to be more substance to the mythology of the world they lived in. Instead, every week we got something like, "Oh, by the way, there are werepanthers!" and "PS, I forgot to tell you, fairies!!"

There was so much potential for the show... it just never did what I wanted it to do: Have a real, meaty, substantial storyline with characters that I actually cared about. And even though they were throwing odd things out at you every week and seeing which things stuck, I didn't feel like there was ever a good twist or plot or... anything. This show goes nowhere. There's blood and gore and violent sex and not an interesting thing that I can think of.

The only endearing character is Jason Stackhouse (played by Ryan Kwanten) who is not all that bright. He does a lot of stupid things, but his heart is in the right place. And he's very, very pretty. He was the only one that I looked forward to seeing on screen.

I have little else to say about it... other than I do not recommend anyone viewing it. There seem to be some people who enjoy the show, but I'm not quite sure what they're getting out of it. Unless it's just the pretty, pretty Ryan Kwanten.

A second runner up for a show that I hate would be The Closer. (I would have put this first if I could ever sit through it long enough to have actual reasons to hate it.)

I hate this show so much I can't even make it through the first five minutes of any episode of it, ever. What do I hate about it? Everything. But mostly it's Kyra Sedgwick, her weird fake southern accent, and everything about her arrogant and condescending character Brenda. I've never been able to watch it and I never will. Also, good news (for me), it's going off the air! Yay!

See what everyone else thinks:
Brenda
Dany (to be published)
Jessie
Beth

End Blog.

30 Days of TV: Day 04 - My Favorite Show

2010-12-18T10:04:00.013-06:00

Your favorite show of all time, in the history of the universe (up to this point in time, of course): The X-Files

Honestly there are a lot of shows that I really love. LOVE. But, if I had put anything else in the top position, I would have felt really guilty. Like I was cheating on Mulder and Scully. I have never been so obsessed with a show before this one came around. Granted, it was on while I was in high school so it's not like I had a chance to before then. At the time, the internet was something that was new and exciting and let me obsess about it more.

I mean, I knew the actual titles to episodes and I think that was the first time I realized that shows actually title episodes. And some of them were pretty ridiculous like "Død Kalm" (It's about a Navy ship where the people on it age rapidly. Mulder thinks it's part of the Philadelphia Experiment. Mulder and Scully enter the ship and by the end of the episode look like they're 90.) and "Anasazi." (It's some Navajo word. There's aliens in it and probably some conspiracy of some sort. They talk about how the Navajo language was used in the war to encrypt messages and that none of the code breakers could decode it.)

I was pretty ridiculous. I used to video tape every episode, and tried to watch them all live, even though I was taping them. There were some episodes I rewatched so much that I wore out the VHS tape. (It was called "Bad Blood." Luke Wilson guest starred. There were vampires. A 'he said - she said' storyline that was completely hilarious.)

Aside from sentimental value, it really was my favorite show, and for the most part it holds the test of time. Although, it is fun to see the giant cell phones back in the 90's. For those of you that never watched or are too young to have been into it when it aired and never got around to it... (it aired from 1993 to 2002.)

It was a science fiction/fantasy series that followed two FBI agents assigned the X-Files unit. These cases were largely about unexplained phenomena, alien life forms or extra-terrestrials, and conspiracy theories. There were large multi-episode arcs that were so complex, it raised more questions than provided answers. The story lines where referred to as the mythology and had themes following "black oil", "The Syndicate", "Cancer" and "Colonists". They would also have monster-of-the-week episodes that were some of their best, and worst.

The series followed agents Mulder and Scully, believer and skeptic. Scully was assigned to the x-files to debunk whatever crazy theory Mulder had come up with this week. Eventually they both found themselves wrapped up in the overarching government conspiracy and could only trust one another. (Even if the show's catch phrase was "Trust No One.")

They were close platonic friends and became my first ship... And the first time I'd even heard the word. I was a shipper... There was a fandom. It wasn't just a show, it was also a community of other people who were obsessed with it. My best friend was also really into the show and we fueled each others excitement about it. We used to watch it in our own houses, on the phone with each other (before cell phones). You couldn't talk during the show, only commercials... but we were on the phone, mostly not talking, for the full hour. I made collages of posters and had them hanging in my room.I learned a lot about story construction and what makes television entertaining from this series. It was my first complex show, at times even impossible to follow. Then, later in the series, two new agents entered the picture, Doggett and Reyes... and the show was never the same. They didn't have that magic chemistry of Mulder and Scully. In my opinion, the show ran about 2 years too long...

Regardless, I loved it. It made you think. It was the "Lost" of its generation. And, I have to admit, it was one of the influences that started me down my career path today. I may not be a medical examiner like Scully, or in the FBI, but I did end up with a forensic science career. The X-Files was a creepier version of CSI before there was CSI.

I think that the show has probably influenced a lot of television today: Lost, CSI, Fringe to name a few.

It is the only series of which I own every single episode. I wanted to believe.

I would put up video, but it's kind of impossible to decide how to represent the show. It was so many things - dark, funny, scary, suspenseful, sad. It had action, comedy, and romance.

I had a three way split scene where everyone was in the bathtub.

Yet it was a show about monsters and conspiracies.

See what others think:
Brenda
Dany
Jessie
Beth

End Blog.

30 Days of TV: Day 03 - Favorite New Show

2010-12-17T17:38:00.008-06:00

Your favorite new show that started in the year 2010: Rizzoli and Isles

I think that I've watched exactly five new shows in 2010:
Raising Hope
No Ordinary Family
Mike & Molly
Outsourced
Rizzoli and Isles

Out of those five, Rizzoli and Isles definitely wins, even though they don't always get their forensic information exactly right. I can't really blame them too much though, hardly any procedural shows do.

I know, you're about to say that I'm about as one note as they come. Yet another strong female led show. And I can't even refute it. It's true, there are two very strong female characters in this show. It's also true that it's one of the reasons that I like it. I agree with you, I am the most boring and predictable tv watcher in all of history.

But, really, this one is kinda in my wheelhouse, so you have to just give it to me. Procedural crime drama. Cops. Medical examiners. Forensic investigations. A show where I can act superior and tell you all the things they're doing wrong. Why wouldn't I watch this?

Surprisingly, there were not that many things to complain about, either because they weren't doing that many things wrong, or because the story line was compelling enough that I didn't feel the need to complain. (More on this when we get to Dexter.)

Plot lines were decent, the chemistry between the female leads is unmistakable (and very lesbian subtexty, even though the characters are straight), and who doesn't adore Rizzoli's entire, very Italian, family?

Isles has a pet tortoise. She's the medical examiner, is eccentric, and very Temperance Brennan-esque (from Bones). Rizzoli is a tough cop in an all boys club. Her partner, Frost, is a little green and seems to vomit every time there is a dead body nearby.

I won't tell you it's a fantastic show that will stand the test of time, but of all the new shows I've watched this year, I've enjoyed it the most. It ran for a short ten episodes and is now over, but has been picked up for a season two. In all likelihood, I'll continue to watch.

Second runner up in this category is definitely Raising Hope. Although, I could totally do without all the baby parts and that makes the title kind of pointless...

Here's what my friends think:
Brenda
Dany
Jessie
Beth

End Blog.

30 Days of TV: Day 02 - Why Aren't You Watching?

2010-12-16T17:24:00.017-06:00

A show that you wish more people were watching: 30 Rock

You know, living with someone who can look up Nielsen ratings so that I don't have to try to figure it out is super cool.

That's how I know that 30 Rock placed 53 during the May 2010 sweeps list of the top 100 broadcast shows. Really, people? Why aren't you watching this show with me?

Simply the most important thing that you need to know about this show is that Tina Fey is behind it. She's the series creator and star of the show. It's basically loosely based on her experiences as head writer of Saturday Night Live, and takes place behind the scenes of a fictional sketch comedy called TGS with Tracy Jordan (originally The Girlie Show). They work in the GE building at the NBC Studios at 30 Rockefeller Plaza, hence the name of the show.

Tina plays Liz Lemon, a sarcastic and self-deprecating woman who is attractive and doesn't know it. She thinks of herself as a geek who will never outgrow the torment of her youth.

Jenna (Jane Krakowski) and Tracy (Tracy Morgan) are pretty ridiculous in their roles. Kenneth (Jack McBrayer) usually ends up helping them set fires that Liz Lemon has to eventually figure out a way to put out. She's a mess, doesn't hold herself together that well, and is always looking to her boss, Jack (Alec Baldwin) for advice. But, she remains the heart and brains of the whole operation.

Liz and Jack have an absolutely fabulous relationship. She looks up to him as a father-type figure, someone who can get things done, and who everyone respects. Jack thinks of Liz as his pet project, trying to shape her into a useful human being, and hoping that one day, she will be worthy of being called his protégé. Jack somehow pulls of totally arrogant, yet extremely likable.

Just with these five characters, so much shenanigans occur. Every week it seems like a miracle that their live show airs. Liz is barely holding them together, yet they are so much like a dysfunctional family.

I think the best part about the relationship between Jack and Liz is that they have absolutely no sexual tension. Jack is way out of Liz's league. He is constantly giving her advice, especially about men, and none of it is ever really good.

The show is smart, quick, and kinda zany. It doesn't just make you laugh, it also makes you think. It frets over what it means to be funny. And, another gem it has going for it - this show has amazing continuity. You'll really notice it if you marathon the episodes back to back. Really, I love the continuity on this show - and it's only rivaled by How I Met Your Mother. Also, they have some pretty great guest stars. (Like Princess Leia.)

30 Rock has won 3 Emmy awards for Outstanding Comedy Series and in one of her acceptance speeches, Tina Fey thanked "the dozens and dozens of viewers" watching 30 Rock. In November of 2010, she was the youngest-ever winner of the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor.

What makes this show great is it's a comedy with a woman in the central role. (Wow, I said that about Freaks and Geeks, but you know what? It's true. There have been far too many leading man roles, and quite frankly, I'd rather watch a show about a woman because I can identify with them more.) Under Tina Fey's writing at SNL, she brought out the talents of Amy Poehler, Rachel Dratch, Cheri Oteri, Molly Shannon and Ana Gasteyer. Think of the show today. Can you name one outstanding female actress (besides Kristin Wiig)?

But, just singing 30 Rock's praises probably won't be enough to convince you, so watch this compilation of clips that someone put together... If you don't fall in love with Liz Lemon, then this is not your type of humor and you really shouldn't be watching anyway.

There are two other very specific scenes I love from the show, but sadly they are nowhere to be found on youtube, and aren't able to be embedded from hulu. Also, the scene I found there wasn't complete, and I'm not going to try any harder because you should just watch all the episodes anyway. But, specifically, watch season 1, episode 3 "Blind Date". Jack sets Liz up on a date with Thomas... Gretchen Thomas, assuming wrongly that Liz was gay. This scene is near the end of the episode after Liz ponders over the situation:

Liz Lemon: What do you say, we make a pact? If, say, in twenty-five years, neither of us has found somebody, we'll move in together and become roommates. And even though I am... not into the sex stuff, if it helps you, I would let you... do stuff to me.

Gretchen Thomas: I can't be around anymore. Bye Liz.

Liz Lemon: That's funny. That's what the guys always say.

The other episode is season 2, episode 10 "Episode 210". Liz falls in love with a piece of real estate and tries to buy it, because of a piece of advice from Jack. When she's waiting to hear from the co-op board, she panics, drinks several bottles of wine, and proceeds to drunk dial them. It was hilarious and if you've ever gone through the stress of buying a house, you will love this scene as much as I did.

And I haven't even mentioned that they sing every once in a while...

I just adore her and this show. It is one of the funniest on right now, and it's definitely the funniest one you're not watching.

Here's what others think:
Brenda
Dany
Jessie
Beth

End Blog.

30 Days of TV: Day 01 - Canceled Before Its Time

2010-12-15T22:23:00.005-06:00

Day 01: A Show That Should Not Have Been Canceled

Freaks and Geeks aired on NBC during the 1999–2000 television season. Eighteen episodes were completed, but the series was canceled after only twelve aired. GET THE COMPLETE SERIES ON DVD. You won't be sorry.

This was a brilliant comedy-drama show that was executive produced by Judd Apatow. I'm not sure that I would even need to go on from there, but it most certainly gets even better!

The cast is one of those amazing ensembles, you can't even believe that all of this talent was in the same place at the same (very short) amount of time... and before they all really hit it big. Clearly this show MADE THEM. Or... you know.... Judd Apatow did.

Also, and this is noteworthy: Freaks and Geeks was home to the original William McKinley High School - well before Glee.

Let's take a closer look at the cast.

Linda Cardellini
She's probably better known as Nurse Samantha Taggart from ER, or Ennis's girlfriend in Brokeback Mountain, or maaaaaaybe even as Chutney in Legally Blonde. Pretty. Amazing actress. She does the 'bad girl rebel' thing really well as a teen growing up in the 80's. She's an A student and a mathlete, until she enters high school and starts hanging out with all the slackers. The good girl gone bad, who struggles with her identity.

Seth Rogen
If you don't know who this is, you've been living under a rock. But if you need a refresher, he's been in Anchorman, The 40 Year Old Virgin, Knocked Up, Superbad, Kung Fu Panda, Pineapple Express, Monster's v. Aliens, and the upcoming movie The Green Hornet. This is the show he was in before he was a big movie star. Plus, they're all so young! Anyway, he's one of the Freaks, along with Linda. This mostly means that they're outcasts at school, they smoke a lot of pot, and get into trouble without really trying.

Jason Segel
What can I say about the man who is bringing back the muppets? What's that you say? He looks familiar, but you aren't quite sure who he is? Of course you do. He plays Marshall Eriksen on How I Met Your Mother. He's Lily's (Alyson Hannigan) husband. He was also in Forgetting Sarah Marshall. How could you forget his full frontal nudity? Anyway, his character is a drummer, his name is Nick, he has a huge crush on Lindsay, and I totally adore him.

James Franco
He's gone on to star in the Spiderman movies as Harry Osborn. If you're not a superhero fan, maybe you've seen him in Annapolis, or Knocked Up, or Pineapple Express, or Nights in Rodanthe, Milk, Eat Pray Love, or a little daytime TV show called General Hospital. His name was Franco on that... how original. He's the real bad boy in this, and mostly the instigator.

John Francis Daley
This adorable little guy grew up to play Sweets on Bones. He was also on Boston Public and Kitchen Confidential, but if you know him it's probably from Bones. Also, watch Bones if you don't already. Most definitely a geek, as were his two friends.

Samm Levine
This is that guy that shows up in a guest spot in a ton of different shows and he looks really familiar and you know that you know him, but you can't place where he's from. Yeah, he's that guy.

Martin Starr
Another of Judd Apatow's favorites, he's had parts in Knocked Up and Superbad, and also Adventureland. And he's grown up. And his voice is super deep now. He might be the biggest geek of all (but grown up really well).

Busy Philipps
You know her from Cougar Town. But she was also in Dawson's Creek and ER. Or maybe, just maybe, you know her from The Sarah Conner Chronicles. She was also one of the Freaks, and although I think she was in every episode, she didn't make the opening credits.

Speaking of the opening title credits, they have Joan Jett and the Blackhearts singing "Bad Reputation" while the characters are getting their yearbook pictures taken. I have never fast forwarded through the credits. Not once. Ever.

It's basically a coming of age series that's grittier and funnier than The Wonder Years, more real-to-life than Buffy (simply because there are no monsters), and better than Glee (that fun singing show with absolutely no plot or continuity). It takes place in the 80's and you can TELL. This also makes it awesome... and horrible. Plus, the show centers around Linda Cardellini's character, Lindsay. It's not that often that the central character is so well defined, interesting, and female... and mostly surrounded by an entirely male supporting cast.

The Freaks:

The Geeks:

It's the epitome of high school and all the horrible events that we all suffered to grow up. It's sometimes painful to watch, but only because you remember those FEELINGS because every feeling was felt in capital letters. It's also very funny at times.

(I've just decided that a high school reunion show is totally in order. They need to make this happen...)

So, although I could list a TON of shows that were canceled before their time, I think that this one tops the list. I do however, want to make some honorable mentions:
Veronica Mars
Pushing Daisies
Firefly
Wonderfalls

If you haven't watched any of these series, they are all highly recommended. They also won't take you eons to get through because they didn't get to stick around very long!

See what everyone else had to say about it:
Brenda
Dany
Jessie
Beth

End Blog.

The Gauntlet

2010-12-15T17:49:00.004-06:00

Today Brenda issued a challenge to all of her blogging friends, and we have all agreed to join her in the 30 Days of Television meme that's been floating around the interwebs. For thirty days (more or less... and likely not consecutive in my case) we will be posting the following:

Day 01 - A show that should never have been canceled
Day 02 - A show that you wish more people were watching (currently on)
Day 03 - Your favorite new show (started in the year 2010)
Day 04 - Your favorite show ever
Day 05 - A show you hate (or dislike very much)
Day 06 - Favorite episode of your favorite TV show
Day 07 - Least favorite episode of your favorite TV show
Day 08 - Best twist in a series
Day 09 - Best scene ever
Day 10 - A show you thought you wouldn't like (or hated) but ended up loving
Day 11 - A show that disappointed you
Day 12 - An episode you have never grown tired of...
Day 13 - Favorite childhood show
Day 14 - Favorite male character
Day 15 - Favorite female character
Day 16 - Your guilty pleasure show
Day 17 - Favorite mini series
Day 18 - Favorite title sequence
Day 19 - Best TV show ensemble cast
Day 20 - Favorite kiss
Day 21 - Favorite relationship (romantic, friendship child/parent)
Day 22 - Favorite series finale
Day 23 - Most annoying character
Day 24 - Best quote
Day 25 - A show you plan on watching, but haven't gotten around to yet (old or new)
Day 26 - Season finale failure
Day 27 - Best pilot episode
Day 28 - First TV show obsession
Day 29 - Current TV show obsession
Day 30 - Saddest character death

Some of these might have either no answer of very short, unsatisfying answers. In such a case, we have three alternative ideas to use, which are:

Show you lost track off that you wish you kept watching
Show you love that everyone else hates
Show you hate that everyone else loves

We have been given permission to change a day if it's difficult or rather boring with these ideas, or to make up our own if we feel the need, just so long as we post the original day and topic and do a strikethrough or something similar.

So with that, the 30 Days of Television begins. Here are the other bloggers that are participating:
Brenda
Beth
Dany
Jessie

Sounds fun! Maybe we will all pick up on a new show, and get to share some of our favorite TV moments. Please feel free to join in!

End Blog.

Bailey Update

2010-12-12T08:26:00.002-06:00

Sorry to leave you hanging folks... We did find a home for Bailey. And the next day we checked in on them to make sure everything was okay. He had a bath and spent the night sleeping in his new bed with his new little 10 year old girl. So, quite an upgrade from the garage. I hope he has a very merry rest of his life and never has to suffer the cold again.

End Blog.

My Garage Smells Like a Homeless Dog

2010-11-30T20:07:00.004-06:00

A recap of Carolyn's day saving Bailey the dog, as written by Carolyn in an email to one of her friends that volunteers at a shelter:

---

I found Bailey wandering around my neighborhood at around 1030AM today, 11/30/10. I live on [REMOVED] in Kansas City, MO. He came right up to my dog Remy and myself, tail wagging like crazy and I was able to get a leash on him easily. He was pretty dirty but otherwise looked not too worse for wear. He was wearing a black collar with a 2004 3-Year Rabies tag (#561247) on it. I called the number on the tag which was for VCA Wingate Animal Hospital in Englewood, CO (303) 771-8620. I spoke with Alissa there.

Turns out his previous owner used to be an employee of VCA Wingate, however, she has since passed away. From the information I was able to gather, her daughter was last known to be caring for the dog, but the only number the animal hospital had for her was a work number for a place where she is no longer employed. They have no other way of getting in touch with her. The only information I have about her is that her name is Caitlin Jones. They were also able to tell me that the dog's name is Bailey.

They also told me that Bailey is micro-chipped through HomeAgain (#45420D1F27), however, the owners never registered him so they didn't have any information either.

Bailey is a very friendly, sweet and playful boy. He looks to be a Yellow Lab of medium build and short height. I estimate him to be at least 7 years old given that his tag was from 2004 and it was a 3 year vaccine. He got along pretty well with my two dogs (both females) and was submissive to my older dog, Remy. Aside from being a little dirty he's in pretty good shape. I think he might have a slight injury to one of his toes on his back right paw but it doesn't seem to be bothering him too much. Just looks like he may have hurt the pad a bit and licked it a little raw but he moves just fine on it. He's a little scraggly and might be missing some fur on his belly. He's also scratching quite a bit. We think he needs a bath, however, we don't think we can give him one here.

I've gone through every avenue I can think of to try and find his owner but if there's anything you could do to help this guy out, I'd appreciate it.

---

Me too! He's currently living in the garage. I really hope we find someone that can take him. Not only for his sake, but because I really like my car being in the garage... =)

I'd like to be able to take him to the vet, but I don't really want to incur the costs. However cute he might be, I will not be keeping him. Three dogs is too many dogs for me, and he and River are not the best of friends. I also hope that he doesn't have some sort of disease that I'm exposing my pups to because that would really suck, seeing as how we're trying to do something nice for him.

Carolyn thought this would be an easy fix when she found him in the street. He had a collar and a tag on it, but it turns out not to be very simple. SO - Caitlin Jones - if you're out there, we have your dog. Please take care of him.

End Blog.

Christmas Wishlist

2010-11-29T20:52:00.006-06:00

Here is a list of things that would be cool presents for a person like me. Or exactly me. So, if you're looking for something to give me because of the upcoming holiday, this is your suggestion list, or a great jumping off point if you'd rather be more creative.

I love this tee shirt. They sell it here. (I'm a medium in a guys style.)

I've been drinking tea recently. I'm not sure why, but it's something that I've gotten into. I think that I'd like to start brewing loose leaf tea, as it's 'supposed to be better'. And I'd love to make Thai iced tea because it's super amazing. So, these are the things I've been thinking about buying for myself, although since it's gift giving season, I was told I'm not allowed to buy things for myself. I've had all these things in a shopping cart recently and held back on pushing the purchase button.

Teavana Perfect TeaMaker
Earl Grey Creme Black Tea
Cha Yen Thai Black Tea
Instant Hot Water Dispenser (or any other similar model, really)

I like this wall graphic for the wall right behind/beside my desk in the living room. In the bright kiwi color because I think it would look really neat. There are a bunch of other ones that I like as well, but I've had my eye on this one for several months.

Xbox 360 games, although don't pay full price for them, because I wouldn't if I was buying them myself. Get them used. Gamestop is awesome for that kind of thing.

Borderlands
Bioshock 2
Dragon's Age
Mass Effect

Books are also good. Have you read a good book recently? I'd like to read it, too! Honestly, I'm not sure what I'd like to get to read right now, but am open to suggestions. Or gift cards. Actually, I think I'd like to read Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes. I like fiction and science fiction and anything that makes more brain wrinkles happen.

I also want a Roomba, or someone to do my vacuuming for me, but I doubt either of those things are going to happen anytime soon.

Other than that, I'd like a new pair of eyelids that work properly and don't get infected every single November.

So, next time I go to buy something else on the internet, I'll let you know... it's usually the only way I realize that I want something.

End Blog.

Gay Wedding Number Two: Troy and Adam

2010-11-07T16:07:00.005-06:00

Clearly, the only reason to put anything on my blog anymore is when I have pictures! Troy and Adam got married back in October, but last night was their actual reception and they had a small ceremony at that time too.

I did a reading for them from Jayne Eyre, which I found out about when I arrived at the reception. (Clearly gay weddings are all just thrown together at the last minute. Like, holy crap, I can't believe that we're actually getting away with this!)

The other reading that they had was EXACTLY THE SAME ONE that I did at Bethany and Kerriann's wedding. Apparently the gay version of Corinthians 13:4 is Goodrich v. Department of Health by Massachusetts Supreme Court Justice Margaret H. Marshall.

The dress code was "dressy casual". Therefore, I wore jeans and a shirt and tie. I think that's exactly the definition of that term. Some people were more "dressy" and some were more "casual". So, like, I was supposed to be dressed as such! They told me I could wear jeans!

Here the "god parents" are with Belinda's daughter, Avery. It's nice that she came, considering that she's not even 2 weeks old.

Here I am with my "boyfriend", Troy - and Carolyn is with hers, Adam. It's nice that I'm still allowed to refer to him as such, seeing as how he's married now. I certainly do miss him at work - he recently got a different job and left me! He's lucky I still love him enough to read at his reception ceremony.

This is ABC - Ashley, Beth, and Carolyn. They lined up the wrong way for the photo, but I set them straight.

They're not crazy. The DJ played Thriller. Who doesn't love pretending to be a zombie at a gay wedding? No one. Okay, probably everyone except for these people because there weren't any other people on the dance floor, but that was mostly true all night. They were probably intimidated by our AWESOME dancing out there... There were interpretive dances to both Madonna's "Like a Prayer" and Cyndi Lauper's "True Colors".

This is me dancing with my other boyfriend, Tom.

Carolyn, Troy, and Tanya partying it up. We finally got other people on the dance floor at the end of the night.

Then, after the party, was the after party! I went out with some co-workers and hung out at Sol Cantina in Martini Corner... or something like that. I had a great time. Truly, I should really hang out with work people outside of work because they are super fun, and wouldn't you know, we have a lot in common! Shocking...

It was a great night. I woke up sore this morning from all the dancing.

Yay Gay!! Congratulations, guys!

End Blog.

Happy Halloween 2010

2010-10-31T16:44:00.006-05:00

The following is a photo journal of the Annual Anderson Halloween Party costumes. If you don't watch TV or movies or enjoy pop culture, most of these costumes will be lost on you. However, I loved them all. Also, I didn't get photos of everything because I was really bad about taking pictures this year. I'll try to get some from a more responsible photo journalist.

This year I went as Sue Sylvester from Glee. Carolyn was Will Shuester. I bought a meagphone and a slushie for the occasion. Also, I have no idea why this photo is so blurry. I obviously didn't take it.

You can also see Daniel in the background in his Captain's shirt and Joe as Harry Potter.

Brenda as Dr. Arizona Robbins and Krisana as Dr. Callie "Gauze Paws" Torres from Grey's Anatomy. You know, from when she had the chicken pox.

Troy and Adam as members of clergy. Opposing religions still love each other.

Tom and Ashley as Lone Star and Princess Vespa from Spaceballs!

The Rabbi and Pediatric Surgeon prep for the bris.

Joe changed from his Harry Potter costume.

And then came the portion of the night where we all started wearing everyone else's costumes!

This is Sue pretending to be Jesus.

The following night I went to another Halloween party. There, Sue ran into Olivia Newton-John (she was just an 80's aerobics instructor, but it's funnier if she's Newton-John) and Madonna.

Cyndi Lauper was also in attendance.

And thus ends all the photos I took at these parties. It was another success, although I'm not sure that it topped last year's "Up" costumes. Although, people did seem to enjoy it and got it rather quickly, so that was nice.

At the Anderson's party I used my megaphone to yell at people all night, since I knew everyone there. Also, I made fun of Will Shuester's hair. Repeating Sue's one liners was ridiculously fun. At one point I stood in the corner of the kitchen we were using as a bar for mixed drinks and I screamed "This is Sue's Corner. You are not allowed in Sue's Corner. Everyone out of Sue's Corner!" And then I said, "That's how Sue, 'sees' it," and did her little C letter hand motion thing. If nothing else, I had a great time!

As always, thank you Beth! It's the best part of Halloween every year.

Oh, and PS - these are the two pumpkins I carved this year:

Happy Halloween, Everyone!

End Blog.

Belinda's Baby Girl

2010-10-25T22:30:00.005-05:00

Belinda's daughter was finally born today. I drove her to the hospital this morning at 7am and Avery Elizabeth Potter was born at 5pm on the dot. She was 6 pounds, 9 ounces and 20.5 inches long. She's a healthy little girl and I got to see her tonight. Here are all the pictures I took while there. She slept almost the whole time, which I thank her for.

Excited!!

End Blog.

Puppy Picture Spam

2010-10-20T17:36:00.002-05:00

Took some pictures with my phone of the dogs playing in the yard after work today and thought I'd share. It might have taken two years, but I think that Remy actually really does like River. I know the opposite is true.

Love them!

End Blog

Also, Vegas

2010-09-19T22:14:00.002-05:00

Man, I almost died without seeing Las Vegas, too.

That trip is also mostly already paid for.

Whew.

End Blog.

I Almost Died Before Ever Seeing Hawaii

2010-09-19T17:31:00.009-05:00

Last night some severe thunderstorms went through the area. It had been raining all day, off and on, and it's not unusual to have thunderstorms here in Kansas City. We weren't in a tornado warning, and I hadn't watched the news or really heard anything about the weather all day. So, when I left Beth's house to go home, I wasn't expecting to come face to face with death by tornado.

When I walked out of the Anderson's, it was only slightly drizzling. Carolyn, Dany and I walked to our cars. We didn't jog. We got a little wet. I had my windshield wipers on the lowest setting as we drove away. Like I said, it had been kinda raining off and on all day. No biggie.

As we drove, the rain got heavier. Once we got to I-35 south, it had gotten worse. There was some water on the road and it eventually got to the point that I pulled over to wait out the storm because I couldn't see well enough, even with my windshield wipers on as fast as they would go. Then it started to slow and I felt comfortable driving again.

I pulled back into the road and drove a bit further, where traffic stopped. Initially, since no one was moving, I thought maybe there had been an accident ahead, in the midst of the stormy weather. But, it was just because of the weather. A few moments later, all hell broke loose.

Hail started to come down, faster than I'd ever seen. Tons and tons of hail, ranging in size from dimes to quarters. It started accumulating on the ground like snow. In inches. Probably right around four inches. Of hail. In a few minutes.

The rain and hail were coming down hard, I could hear it hitting my car and windshield, sad that I didn't make it the mile home to the garage. I apologized to my car for not leaving sooner. We had almost made it!

Then the wind picked up, blowing in all directions. Strong wind. Except the only gauge I had for measuring how strong the wind was, was my car shaking as it blew. It was dark (11:45pm), so we couldn't see tree branches blowing, and the rain was coming down so hard we couldn't tell which direction it was coming from. The lightning that flashed was really bright but brief. The rain was hitting the car and washing over the windows so much, I couldn't even see rain drops blowing in one direction or another.

It was so loud that I turned up my radio to try to gauge it. Carolyn and I were screaming over the storm and could barely hear each other. The radio cranked to all but two bars on the volume gauge, and I could just hear it. I'd never be able to stand listening to the radio that loud.

It was then that I started to think that we might be in the middle of a tornado. I was hoping it was a small tornado and wasn't going to pick up my car. I pushed my foot harder on the brake (as if that would help anything) and realized that both of my legs were shaking. Next to me, Carolyn started reciting Hail Mary's and Our Father's. Even I started to think that might be a good idea.

I screamed to her that it had to be over soon. I said it three different times before it was actually over. I looked out of the driver's side window. The left lane of the road had turned into a raging river, and I stepped on my brake some more. Hail was rushing by on my left, accumulating on my right. The windshield wipers, still moving as fast as they could, were now brushing aside shredded leaf particles and small twigs along with rain and hail. Even with the wipers moving, the windshield looked like I was going through an automatic car wash. The wind changed directions.

Out the front window, I saw a green fireball in the sky. A few seconds later, to the left of it, there was a larger green firework looking thing. I screamed, "Holy Fuck!" and hardly heard it. By this time, my heart was beating a bit faster, adrenaline was pumping. The storm lasted a bit longer. It felt like a couple minutes, but I didn't keep track of the time. I'm sure it felt much longer than it actually was, so I wouldn't want to make an estimate.

But it finally died down to just a light drizzle. The car in front of me didn't move. Eventually, I passed it on the right shoulder, driving through the four inches of hail. And I went home. 200 yards south of us, there was no leaf debris in the road. Father south, it looked like nothing happened. Traffic was stacked up in the other direction and on all the exit ramps. We probably saw 6 cop cars or fire personnel in the mile it took us to get home.

Everything at home was fine. The dogs didn't even seem freaked out. But it took me and Carolyn and Dany a good hour to calm down. We looked for information about the storm and tornadoes, but didn't find anything. I was still convinced it was a tornado. And if it wasn't, I never, ever, ever wanted to be in one.

We all agreed it was the scariest thing we'd ever experienced. In the morning, the news said there was a "wet microburst" in the area we were in. Winds reached up to 80 mph and there was lots of rain and hail. Today, we drove around to look at the effects of the storm we narrowly survived. (Yes, this may be an exaggeration, but it certainly felt like we were near death at the time!)

This map shows you where we were parked on 35 last night - at the red X. The highlighted circle is what I approximate as the area of destruction (which is likely not super accurate, though we did drive around the area), and the little black house is approximately around about where I live-ish, kinda.

This is a Sonic where we though we could grab some breakfast. It wasn't open. This used to be their sign.

And this is their parking area.

And this is a big old pile of hail. The storm hit at 11:45pm or so and this picture was taken at 10:30am. It's September. The overnight temperature was in the low 70's. How much hail had to be here??

This is Stroud's. You may have seen it recently on Man vs. Food (look around the 6:15 mark). The sign, which should be on the left, is now down, on the right.

This is the spot on I-35 that we were stopped at last night. There are several broken trees right here.

A closer look at two of the down trees.

And just a little bit behind us, This sign blew over.

And this tree.

And this sign. Which was facing the opposite direction as the that first sign I showed you.

Even this afternoon, the roads were covered in these shredded leaf bits. Trees were just torn apart last night.

And this tree was blown over right behind a Corvette. They got pretty lucky.

About 4 panels of this fence were down.

And another one down, another one down, another one bites the dust.

And a tree on a house.

It was a scary night, and scary day, actually seeing the damage that this storm caused. Power was out for a few thousand in the area, and the traffic lights were all out as well. Everything was a flashing red light with a four way stop.

But, on the bright side, if there hadn't been a storm, I would have never been driving around, and if I had never been driving around, I would never have found this precious gem, right here in Kansas City.

There's always a silver lining.

The deposit is paid for the Hawaii trip. I'm going in February. Here's hoping I don't die before then!

End Blog.

TOGA! TOGA! TOGA!

2010-08-29T22:42:00.008-05:00

I was changing the sheets on my bed and River was having a Toga Party.

She's an ANIMAL!

End Blog.

Poison Ivy

2010-08-29T22:17:00.003-05:00

I got poison ivy pretty bad this year, thanks to the dogs doing such a terrific job of trekking it in and contaminating my skin. I got it way worse than Carolyn, probably for a million reasons. Like, I touch the dogs more, or I have fingernails and scratched myself more and spread it around, or I'm more allergic or something. At any rate, some patches healed, some didn't, some kept getting worse.

So, on Friday, I went to the Minute Clinic at CVS (who needs a regular physician anyway?) and they gave me steroids. Oh, my God, what a miracle drug. How does that even work? I'm not even itchy anymore! The rash is already healing nicely. I should even be able to shave my legs again soon! (Trust me, this was a big worry of mine and other possible contamination issue.)

And once it's cleaned up completely, I'm totally going to go get a massage, because I've been wanting one for months. Also, a haircut, but that's completely unrelated. I think I put myself last when it comes to spending money.

Anyway, awesome drugs that I'll have to be on for 9 more days because of the tapering down effect.

I also sprayed the yard to get rid of the poison ivy out there. It's slowly starting to dry up and die. I have it in 2 known spots and there are probably about 7 or so plants out there. I feel like it might be coming over from my neighbor's yard, which is really annoying, because I feel like I'm going to keep having this probably recurring every summer for years to come. I really hope that is not the case. (I had a VERY mild case last year.)

It's late and this is probably jumbled up, but just wanted you to know that even though you had no idea things were sucking, I'm doing a lot better now!

End Blog.

Do I Have a Target on Me?

2010-08-05T18:14:00.004-05:00

Remember back in 2006 and 2007 when my apartment was broken into? (Like, three times, but who's counting, anyway?) And everyone told me that I should move and then I started looking for a house and it took me a million years and I looked at two hundred houses and I made three different offers on three different houses and finally someone sold one to me out of pity. And it just so happens to be the house that I'm currently living in and paying a mortgage on and trying to refinance so I can pay less money on and it's also the same location WHERE SOMEONE STOLE MY GOLF CLUBS FROM CAROLYN'S CAR. Yeah. That happened.

Granted, her car was accidentally unlocked, but that's not the point. We both got all of our clubs and golf gear stolen over the weekend which totaled up to about $1450 in loss. Which is exactly that crappy point of loss when you have a $1000 deductible and filing a claim means that your insurance is going to go up $80 that will last for the next five years. Totally not worth it.

Long story short:

I called the police to report a theft from the vehicle. This conversation took place:

Me: Stuff was stolen!
Dispatcher: Did they leave behind tools or anything else?
Me: No.
Dispatcher: I'm going to give you a number to file a report over the phone.
Me: Would it make a difference if I told you I work at the crime lab and I really want an officer out here?
Dispatcher: Uuuuuummmmmm... I don't know. Hang on.
*pause*
Dispatcher: We'll be sending someone there.
Me: Thank you!

So, two officers came out and we filed the report and they fingerprinted Carolyn's car (That's a bitch to clean, in case you didn't know. PS, she hasn't yet. I keep getting a black forearm from resting my arm on her window.) and collected a few envelopes that were in the center console that ended up on the passenger side front seat, so I know Bad Guy touched them.

And we were sad.

Actually, I was enraged. If I had that power that turned me into the hulk, I would have been all "HULK SMASH!" all day long. But I don't. So I didn't. So, there's that. At least all my other stuff wasn't in tiny pieces.

Anyway, getting stuff stolen sucks. And apparently, people really like to take my things.

Listen everyone - my things are not that super extra especially nice. But it turns out, I'm highly attached to my things. So stop taking them from me. It's emotionally damaging. And it turns out, YOU WILL GET CAUGHT.

Okay, so, this is really the best part of the story. Are you ready? I don't think you're ready. Sit down or something. You are? Oh...

Three years later, after my apartment burglary, the crime lab got a CODIS hit on the swabs collected from my window screen. (See, there WAS a reason I mentioned it in the first sentence of this post.)

That's right, Jerk! The cops know who you are. You fucked with the wrong person. (I know you thought that when Remy scared the ever-loving crap out of you, but now we have a DNA database for backup. Honestly I just want to prosecute so we can have Remy testify in court. Wouldn't that be the *cutest?*)

And it turns out that the idiot that stole my golf clubs also just got caught. I got a call from my case detective today saying that they found my golf clubs (sadly Carolyn's clubs have yet to be recovered).

Apparently the police got a tip regarding a bunch of business burglaries and went to talk to their suspect in the case. He was staying at his girlfriend's apartment, she opened the door and told the police that they could come in, and BEHOLD, there were my golf clubs, right there in the apartment. Bad Guy said that he bought them at a garage sale 8 months ago, but Detective found a receipt in there from Tomahawk Hills from about a month ago for 9 holes. Yay golf league! (That was probably when it was sweltering and Carolyn wasn't there and we decided to play best ball and got a 52. Good times.)

The women's clubs and women's shoes were clearly not his, and he had a whole bunch of other stolen property like power tools and drills and chainsaws and leaf blowers and stuff. So, I had to go make a report, sign it, get a picture taken with me and all my stuff (that's weird, right?), and then I got to take all of my things home!

They also found one tan fuzzy head cover from Carolyn's golf set. That's kind of like rubbing salt in the wound, but I took it anyway. I told her it was her beacon of hope, that her clubs were out there somewhere, and one step closer to being found because now they know who Bad Guy is. (It's hard to come up with comforting bullshit when you're super happy to have your stuff back and trying not to be giddy over it because her stuff is still out there homeless and sad and missing and lonely and in need of a hug and stuff.)

So, moral of the story is this - DON'T FUCK WITH ME, BAD GUYS.

I'm glad that I've gotten this Bad Guy Public Service announcement out there for consumption. I'm serious. Just don't.

End Blog.

River in a Hat

2010-06-25T07:49:00.003-05:00

I haven't tortured Remy in like, a year. Anyway, a long time... and River is always so spastic you can't put a hat on her head... right? Well, normally, right. BUT, River has this amazing quality that when she's tired, you can do absolutely anything to her and she just won't fight it.

For example:

She likes the right side of the couch. She always lays there. I like the right side of the couch, too. And unlike Carolyn, I will move the dog so that I can sit where I want to. So I moved her and pulled her back into my lap and she pretty much slept there. Then I got this great idea... I just bought my floatin' hat for the 4th of July float trip... and it's on my head... and River's head is RIGHT THERE...

Carolyn snapped the picture on her phone. It's awesome. She pretty much just let it happen. Expect more ridiculous sleepy River pictures in the future.

End Blog.

Overestimated Maturity

2010-06-24T17:19:00.004-05:00

River Monster did not grow up. She had a few shining moments followed by a path of destruction. Today she managed to get to three different areas in the living room and cause a bunch of damage. The DVDs and books, her favorites - and a new addition, she's now getting behind my desk and desamating much more important things, like my beloved charcoal pencils (I know, I haven't actually drawn anything ages) and some pictures (goodbye picture of my AP chemistry class (I'm SUCH a geek)). She also moved some tax forms... although she didn't manage to eat them.

Funny thing is, I thought I had barricaded off the section of the room behind my desk. Not well enough though. She actually pulled the electric plugs out of the wall in her efforts to squeeze by and actually unplugged the power strip leading to my computer and lights... and maybe even Carolyn's laptop. (I don't need a lecture on the dangers of fire and how many things you can plug into an outlet, okay?) This forced an improper shutdown of the new computer. Oops. I'm sorry, new computer.

SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH.

I really wanted to trust her and have her be a grown up. She's obviously not ready and will be in that muzzle for the foreseeable future, no matter how sad she appears when it's presented to her. If she doesn't shape up, it will be on her for the rest of her life. DO YOU HEAR ME, DOG!?

Maybe she's an adolescent, not a grown up. I guess we could revisit this topic again in another 6 months. I know she CAN be good... I've seen her do it before. I just don't want to have more stuff destroyed in another 6 months... maybe more like 8 months, after I get home from Hawaii...

Once again... SIGH.

End Blog.

River Monster Grows Up

2010-06-12T13:16:00.004-05:00

I don't want to jinks anything, but we've not used River's muzzle in three days. The first day was an accident because Carolyn forgot to do it when she left the house and I was already at work at that time. She found a ziploc bag that had her food in it once and ended up ripping it up. But it was the only thing she tore up... and it smelled like her food... or it might have had some of her food still left in it.

The second day, we picked up around the house and crossed our fingers. Only one bag torn up seemed pretty good. Apparently we're betting types. That day, River (probably with Remy's help) decided that she would unpack my suitcase from the recent trip to New Jersey. I came home to my clothes spread around the living room, but nothing was destroyed. Progress?

The third day, we closed the bedroom doors. Everything was perfectly how I left it when I came home. Like I said... I don't want to jinks anything when I say this, but...

I think River grew up. I think I have a dog that I can trust to not eat my house! It only took a year and a half!

I'm proud of her. She's being such a good girl.

End Blog.

The Ultimate Madonna Quiz

2010-06-11T18:13:00.003-05:00

I found a bunch of files that I had forgotten about when transferring stuff from old computer to new computer. One of them was *nerd alert* "The Ultimate Madonna Quiz" that I made up myself a few years ago when I had a ton of time on my hands. (Read: I had just moved to Kansas City and didn't have the stunning social life that I now lead.)

I just took it. I got a 45/50 which is a 90%. That must mean it's REALLY hard because I made the damn thing. You'd think I would know all of the answers.

How do you think you'll do? Try it out. Good luck.

1. Which of the following songs does NOT have Spanish lyrics?

A. Who’s that Girl?
B. Be Careful
C. Paradise (Not For Me)
D. Spanish Eyes

2. Which of the following songs does NOT have the word pray or prayer?

A. Who’s That Girl?
B. Cherish
C. Nothing Fails
D. Oh, Father

3. In which movie did Madonna play a character named Nikki?

A. Who’s that Girl?
B. Desperately Seeking Susan
C. Shanghai Surprise
D. Swept Away

4. In song, Madonna asks you to “Put your hands” where?

A. Right there
B. All over my body
C. On my skin
D. B and C

5. Which song does NOT reference a mother?

A. Mer Girl
B. Nothing Really Matters
C. Deeper and Deeper
D. I’d Rather Be Your Lover

6. In which song does Madonna teach us a “different way to kiss”?

A. Where Life Begins
B. Erotica
C. Justify My Love
D. Inside of Me

7. Which of the following songs never appeared on a soundtrack?

A. Die Another Day
B. This Used to be My Playground
C. Crazy for You
D. Beautiful Stranger
E. I’ll Remember

8. Which of the following words do NOT appear in a Madonna song?

A. Lucky Star
B. Little Star
C. Lost Star
D. Lonely Star

9. Which song does NOT make mention of a bird?

A. Frozen
B. Impressive Instant
C. Don’t Tell Me
D. Dear Jessie

10. Which song makes mention of a key?

A. Frozen
B. Open Your Heart
C. Keep it Together
D. All of the Above

11. Which two songs both have the lyrics "Romeo and Juliet”?

A. Cherish and Fever
B. Vogue and Like It or Not
C. Cherish and Vogue
D. Borderline and Swim

12. Which song does NOT have the words “satin sheets”?

A. Dress You Up
B. Express Yourself
C. Crimes of Passion
D. None of the above

13. Which song does NOT have the word “diamonds” in its lyrics?

A. Material Girl
B. Express Yourself
C. More
D. Rainbow High

14. Madonna must have had a mental breakdown and forgotten she had previously recorded a song with this title because on her album, Confessions on a Dance Floor, she used it for a second time.

A. Secret
B. Forbidden Love
C. Push
D. Future Lovers

15. Which song’s first lines are the spoken words “And you can dance”?

A. Into the Groove
B. Dress You Up
C. Express Yourself
D. Causing a Commotion

16. Which song does NOT have the word “fool” in it?

A. Can’t Stop
B. One More Chance
C. Rain
D. None of the above

17. The following lines precede the chorus of which song?
“There’s no reason to feel guilty,
It’s too late, now,
What’s done is done.
If you can keep it a secret, Darlin’,
We can have some fun.”

A. Crimes of Passion
B. Forbidden Love
C. I Want You
D. Nobody’s Perfect

18. Which two songs end with the sound of a rainstorm?

A. Rescue Me and Rain
B. This Used to be My Playground and One More Chance
C. Take a Bow and Secret
D. Rain and Survival

19. Which song has the following lyrics? “No end and no beginning.”

A. Power of Goodbye
B. Ray of Light
C. Like a Prayer
D. Love Won’t Wait

20. What is the title of the duet between Madonna and Mandy Patinkin?

A. White Heat
B. Be Careful
C. What Can You Lose?
D. Love Song

21. Which really lame rhyme is NOT a Madonna lyric?

A. I don’t like cities, but I like New York. Other places make me feel like a dork.
B. My father had to go to work, I used to think he was a jerk.
C. I drive my Mini Cooper and I’m feeling super-dooper. Yo, they tell me I’m a trooper.
D. You said we’d never part. And now you’re breaking my heart.

22. Hypothetically, let’s say Madonna took acid and then wrote a song. Which would most likely be the final product of that endeavor?

A. Dear Jessie
B. Dear Jessie
C. Dear Jessie
D. Dear Jessie

23. In the song “Swim”, where is Madonna swimming?

A. Across the Nile
B. In a pool
C. To the ocean floor
D. Near a waterfall

24. In which song does Madonna sing, “Don’t want my dreams addin’ up to nothin’”?

A. Candy Perfume Girl
B. How High
C. Crazy for You
D. I’m So Stupid

25. In which song is Madonna egotistical enough to tell us, “Better the devil that you know, your love for me will grow”?

A. You Must Love Me
B. Like It or Not
C. Love Song
D. Nobody Knows Me

26. In what song did Madonna somehow make “it through the wilderness”?

A. Survival
B. Like a Virgin
C. Borderline
D. Live to Tell

27. Finish these lyrics: “Cupid, please take your aim at me.”

A. You took a poison arrow and you aimed it at my heart.
B. Cherish the thought of always havin’ you, here by my side.
C. And help me change my destiny.
D. I know that you’re afraid that I might come steal your heart away in the night.

28. Happiness lies where?

A. In your heart
B. In memories
C. In your own hand
D. Inside of me

29. Madonna was once quoted as saying, "It’s a message song that everyone is going to take the wrong way," about what song?

A. Papa Don’t Preach
B. Oh, Father
C. Material Girl
D. What It Feels Like for a Girl

30. On her album “Confessions on a Dance Floor”, the track following “Jump” is what?

A. Don’t Tell Me
B. How High
C. Did You Do It?
D. Don’t Stop

31. What “Ain't no big deal” to say?

A. I love you still
B. I can’t get over you
C. You’re the one I’m dreamin’ of
D. I want you

32. Finish the lyric: “Slowly now we begin to move. Every breath…”

A. I fall deeper and deeper
B. I’m deeper into you
C. We’re gettin’ into the groove
D. You’ve got something to prove

33. Finish these lyrics: “I’ve had other lips. I-I-I’ve sailed a thousand ships.”

A. I’ve had other guys. I’ve looked into their eyes.
B. But I’m standing on a cloud every time you’re around.
C. But no matter where they go, you’re the one for me, Baby, this I know.
D. But you don’t even know I’m alive and this pounding in my heart just won’t die.

34. Which song opens, “Today is the last day that I’m using words”?

A. Words
B. Bedtime Story
C. Justify my Love
D. Intervention

35. Finish these lyrics: “I know where beauty lives. I’ve seen it once, I know…”

A. The womb it is
B. The one she is
C. The woman gives
D. The warm she gives

36. “Time goes by so slowly for those who wait.” According to Madonna, what should we do about it?

A. Wait. Patience is a virtue.
B. Go out. Girls just wanna have fun.
C. Stop hesitating. Those who run seem to have all the fun.
D. Remember the past when you had a mother. Then find someone to love you.

37. What are the three emotions Madonna feels for us at the beginning of “Time Stood Still”?

A. Pain, sadness and regret
B. Hope, compassion and pleasure
C. Despair, regret and tenderness
D. Love, devotion and faith

38. Which song asks “How many licks did it take?”

A. Erotica
B. Where Life Begins
C. Secret Garden
D. Thief of Hearts

39. Babyface co-wrote “Take a Bow” with Madonna and performed the backup vocals.

A. True
B. False

40. In which song does Madonna ask you to “Sing la-di-da-di”?

A. Shoo-Bee-Doo
B. Don’t Stop
C. Issac
D. Shanti-Ashtangi

41. Which song does NOT have the word “stranger” in its lyrics?

A. Crazy for You
B. Beautiful Stranger
C. Bad Girl
D. None of the Above

42. Name that tune: “I’m not the same. I have no shame. I’m on fire!”

A. Burning Up
B. Bad Girl
C. White Heat
D. Fever

43. Which person has NEVER been referred to in a Madonna song?

A. Sigmund Freud
B. Marlon Brando
C. Cleopatra
D. Al Capone

44. Name that tune: “You’re wasting time. Make up your mind. And get into the groove.”

A. Into the Groove
B. Causing a Commotion
C. Vogue
D. You Can Dance

45. Name that tune: “Express yourself, don’t repress yourself.”

A. Express Yourself
B. Like a Prayer
C. Human Nature
D. Justify my Love

46. The first line of what song is “What are you lookin’ at?”?

A. Strike a Pose
B. Vogue
C. Candy Perfume Girl
D. Dress You Up

47. “It doesn’t pay to be” one of these:

A. A thief of hearts
B. A Christian
C. A runaway lover
D. A star

48. Where did Madonna say she “Lost my reputation, bad and good”?

A. New York
B. London
C. Hollywood
D. Paris

49. Name that tune! “Why do all the things I say, sound like the stupid things I’ve said, before?”

A. I’m so Stupid
B. Skin
C. Human Nature
D. I’d Rather Be Your Lover

50. Which song asks if “you like to boogie-woogie”?

A. Hey Mister DJ
B. Beautiful Stranger
C. Ray of Light
D. Music

I'll put the answers in the reply. I know you're thrilled about this.

End Blog.

I Gots a New 'Puter

2010-06-11T18:02:00.002-05:00

I bought a new computer. Because I wanted one.

You know how EVERYONE says that Windows 7 is so completely AWESOME? They're lying. Windows 7 tells me that I don't have permission to do, like, ANYTHING that I think I should be able to do.

Look, I know it's a really important host file, but I want to change it. You should let me. If my computer stops working, I've backed it up. LET ME CHANGE STUFF! I realize this operating system was made for the computer ignorant or technologically unsavvy masses, but come on... how the hell do I change these security settings? (Hello pot, my name is kettle.)

If I want to run a program that I think is completely safe, you should let me, even if you think that it's probably a trojan or virus or something. Yes, thank you for the warning, but really, if I'm going to be stupid enough to ignore it, you should let me. And if I get a virus, it's clearly my own damn fault. Once again, I have backed up my computer...

Sigh.

Regardless of the operating system, everything else is really pretty. And it runs so fast when you compare it to my old machine.

I've gotten most of the really important things back. Just a few I'm having trouble with... one of them being my router program. It's not NEEDED, but I really liked how I could see everyone using my network in case there was someone using it who shouldn't. It was pretty and user friendly. And I can't figure out how I had it in the first place.

The only other programs I really miss are all the photo editing and graphic ones. And all my old emails.

Other than that... Pretty.

Really really pretty.

End blog.

An Important Public Service Announcement from River

2010-05-27T20:41:00.005-05:00

Dear bloggy people who read blogs, It's River. I'm here to save your lives.

I heard blogs were so 7 years ago, but that was on tv, and I also heard that you shouldn't believe everything on tv. So, even if blogs aren't cool, which I suspect they are not, I am writing this serious investigative journalistic piece here because it's the only way I know how to publish something to the public. Spread the word, all of you three readers out there. Tell three people who will tell three people... you know how it works.

And now the important news:

Squirrels are Terrorists

I don't know why humans don't get it. Dogs get it. We try to warn you. I have taken to announcing the terror alert level in my jurisdiction regularly. Why don't you understand?

Look, squirrels have cell phones and they are not above blowing up your house. I think there's an app for that. The only reason they do not get away with this is because of dogs like me. (And Remy, but mostly me.)

Squirrels are evil. They are plotting your death while they steal your birdseed. Why do you think they're always up in trees? They have the high ground. YOU ARE AT A DISADVANTAGE.

You don't believe me? Then why do all dogs all over the world know this universal truth? We don't talk to each other. We're not the ones with cell phones. And when we meet each other, that is not one of the pieces of information we transmit by butt scents... But that's a story for a different time.

Beware of squirrels. This is what they are capable of when you steal their cell phone from them.

(If a dog had made that commercial, it wouldn't say "cell phone karma, it's real." It would say Terrorist Squirrels Are Real.)

Just think, if squirrels can do that, what else they are capable of!!

Stay safe, humans.

River Out.
Oooo, Mom, can I go out?

A Riddle

2010-05-06T19:04:00.005-05:00

What can run but never walks,
has a mouth but never talks,
has a head but never weeps,
has a bed but never sleeps?

Who me?

End Blog.

Puppy Picture Spam

2010-04-05T18:55:00.005-05:00

These were all taken during a time when we were puppy sitting for Tanya and Scout and Buster were here. Four dogs is slightly too many in a house this size. But it was fun!

Scout, River's sister, being calm. She got all of the calm and none of the hyper genes, unlike River.

Remy and Scout ganging up on River in the snow.

You wants to take a photo of me, Mom? Here's my toy.

Remy sleeping. Tuckered out from all the activity going on behind her.

EXCUSE ME! WHERE AM I GOING TO SIT??

Sisters. They were attached at the shoulder for a week.

That's the happiest looking yawn, ever.

River really likes the camera. A lot.

Yay.

Puppy picture spam complete.

End Blog.

Zombie Jesus Weekend

2010-04-05T18:11:00.006-05:00

Carolyn went home this weekend to NJ to spend the holiday with her family. Seeing as how I don't really believe there is a giant man in the sky watching out for all of human kind who sent his son to die for our sins, I thought I'd spend the weekend at home, alone, doing absolutely nothing. Maybe sleeping, watching a ton of TV, that sort of thing. Indulging mostly in the sloth sin, I wager. With some gluttony thrown in for good measure.

Turns out, I didn't really do that much. Saturday I went to the driving range and hit a bucket of balls. I was pleasantly surprised at some of my drives. True, they still don't go very far, but I actually hit some nice shots with my three wood, the most horrible club I own. I hate it and never use it because I do so poorly with it. But surprisingly I got a few good shots with it. Then I went to lunch with Troy, played some video games with him and two other friends on Xbox Live, and did some online shopping for a ball marker/hat clip combo. (I found a Mustang one, which I bought.) Then I watched some TV, ate some Taco Bueno, and decided that I would try to fix my lawnmower.

Last year the self propel stopped working, and wouldn't you know, that dang lawnmower is really hard to push around without it. And because I'm a fat ass and don't enjoy exercise, it was probably harder than it should be. Anyway, I found out that a belt had slipped off of a pulley and I put it back together. My lawnmower is now working properly! Seeing as how I completed this task at 12:30am, I promptly went to bed.

Sunday morning I went golfing at 9:45am with Troy and Adam. I like golfing with them because they are only slightly better than me and I don't feel like I'm holding anyone up. Anyway, that was super fun. It was a really nice day after the sun came out and I got a bit sunburnt. I have a really awesome watch/glove line on my left hand.

We then ate at Five Guys, which was one of the only places we could find open on Easter. Turns out a lot of people take the whole thing pretty seriously. When we got there, we were starving, and there were three police cars in the parking lot. There seemed to be some sort of domestic dispute. I really wanted to know what was going on, but I never found out. It was nice to have a show with dinner though.

I came home and did a ton of laundry. Including all the sheets from the bed. Remy had a little anal leakage problem and stunk up the whole room with her stupid anal gland. I wish that she would give me some sort of warning so I could take her to the vet or something before this disgusting explosion happens in my house, but she doesn't. She just surprises me all the time with really unpleasant smells and then doesn't even bother to help clean it up. This happened Saturday night while I was sleeping. The smell was so bad it woke me up from dead slumber.

It's a good thing I really like that dog. Maybe they smell proportional to how much you love them. That's saying a lot, then.

I was going to mow the lawn, but it conveniently rained and I didn't have to.

Monday I went to work, came home, and mowed my front lawn for the first time in 2010. Who's excited that lawnmowing season had begun??? (I'm not. Although really early spring and really late fall are the times I actually enjoy it because I'm not dehydrating with every step.)

Before

After

Before

After

So, anyway, I guess the point here is that I was way more productive than originally planned. I'm I'm quite proud (Ah, another sin!) of my mechanical repair.

Side note: It POURED this morning. Like, only rain that Missouri can produce, rain. There was hail, just not here or at work. So, I get to work and I don't want to get out of the car because although I don't have far to go, I know I'll be SOAKED by the time I get to the door. So, I climb into the backseat of my car from the driver's seat, and found an umbrella in the back. I get out, open it up, and find that it had been booby-trapped. The thing fell apart into four pieces! I couldn't even figure out exactly what happened and threw the thing away. It wasn't an umbrella! It was just pieces!

So, that was pretty hilarious. If you are the person that booby-trapped my umbrella, KUDOS TO YOU. I'm sure the whole thing was pretty hilarious to anyone other than me.

That was pretty much my weekend. I will try to blog more better in the future...

End Blog.

Closing Ceremonies

2010-02-28T22:14:00.002-06:00

Here's all I have to say about the Olympic closing ceremonies (because I didn't get a chance to watch much of them, as it is my birthday, don't you know):

There were lumberjacks with giant inflatable beavers and giant inflatable moose. Meese? Mooses?

Ridiculous.

Also, Belinda and Troy made homemade pasta and chicken parm and a carrot cake tonight for my birthday. I have officially eaten the entire weekend. I don't need to eat for a few days, for sure.

It was a good birthday weekend. Happy 29 to me.

End Blog.

I'm Psychic, Olympics

2010-02-27T21:18:00.003-06:00

Four years ago I started cheering for Canadian figure skater Joannie Rochette (<-- Proof) because she skated to Madonna's "Like a Prayer". This year, she won bronze. She also got a lot of coverage because her mom died days before her performance, so you probably even heard of her this year (unlike last time).

She was supposed to skate an exhibition piece to Madonna's "Die Another Day", but because of her mother's death, instead skated to something from Celine Dion... because her mom liked her. And I guess the Madonna song was inappropriate given the turn of events.

This upset me greatly. She traded Madonna for Celine Dion.

Siiiiiiiiiigh.

I'm sure the other performance was much better. And it made me happy she was still using Madonna music. I hope that she sticks around and redeems herself in a couple years. I mean, I suppose I'll forgive her for this lapse in judgement. I'm sure she's not thinking clearly.

I would have loved to see the "Die Another Day" skate. Maybe another day...

End Blog.

Luge Track Equality

2010-02-18T22:00:00.003-06:00

Everyone's heard about Nodar Kumaritashvili of Georgia who had an unfortunate accident on the luge track that ended in his death. It was pretty sucky all around for everyone. Including all of the competitors. (And me, I got pretty drunk because of that damn drinking game.)

Once they put up the walls protecting them from the steel beams, some of them were probably fine with the changes. They made the track safer, all was better.

Then they also moved the start positions. The men moved to the women's start and their speeds dropped. The German who won - his speed was just slightly over 91mph.

The women's start was moved to the junior's start, 800 feet below their original start point, where they are now entering the course into turn six. Canada's Meaghan Simister likened the new start to driving "into what is basically an ice wall."

Did you watch the women? I felt horrible for them. None of them got a good start coming into turn six. It was painful to watch. They hadn't practiced it. I was upset about the whole thing.

Germany's Tatjana Huefner won gold after the 10 curves of the Whistler track, topping out at 84 mph. I tried to find women's speeds from the 2006 games, but I couldn't. I have no idea if these speeds were much faster than normal or not. I've been complaining all week to anyone who would listen about why couldn't the ladies also start from the women's start? Why did the men and women have to have different starts after all of this, anyway?

I mean, wasn't a a man who died? Weren't most of the crashes they were showing me on my TV from other competitors MEN? Why were they punishing the women? Were they, too, really having trouble with the track? Because I haven't heard that they were. The only things I heard were complaints: that the track was shorter, that it was punishing those who were strong starters, that they felt like they were on the kiddie run. So why couldn't they start from the original women's start, where the men were?

The answer, it turns out, is considered a strength issue. Luge requires upper body strength to push off and to maneuver the sled at high speeds. Based on the assumption that women are less able to handle the hurtling speeds safely, they typically start about 200 meters down the track from the guys, and thus, go slower. Some would also say that ~~sexism~~ tradition plays a role. Just as women's hockey doesn't allow checking (boo), women's luge differs from men's because of concern for their well-being.

So, why then, do we get to have the same downhill and snowboard cross tracks?

Equality for all!

I will let you know, Olympics people, downhill and snowboarding were much more fun and interesting to watch than the luge this year.

Oh, Canada...

End Blog.

Women's Downhill 2010

2010-02-18T19:52:00.007-06:00

Remember Lindsey Kildow from the 2006 Winter Olympics? Of course you don't. You haven't heard anything about her since then, even though she's competing inat least three events this year. So, let's move on. We don't need to think about Lindsey Kildow anymore. We don't have to remember the poor girl who crashed during the Women's Downhill and how I blogged all about it back then.

Instead, let's focus on this completely new girl, Lindsey Vonn, who dominated the downhill event in 2010.

What's that you say? They are the SAME WOMAN?

That's right, Lindsey went and got married and confused the heck out of me. And although she was still kinda hurt and still got a billion hours of screen time during the Olympics, she was like a new woman in her athletic performance.

Sadly, she fell during the super combined on the slaloms. It wasn't as spectacular as Kildow's crash in 2006, but Vonn did fall this year in a different event.

AFTER she won gold in the event she crashed in as Kildow in 2006.

Don't you love how I'm making it like sound she was put into the witness protection program for four years, just to come back under a new identity? In my mind, it's the only way to reconcile the new name. It confused me. A lot. And no one bothered to explain her marriage. Jerky commentators.

I blame Bob Costas.

Anyway, I still really like Lindsey Kildow and I'm still rooting for her for her last event. Lindsey Vonn who?

End Blog.

Redo: 2010 Winter Olympic Opening Ceremonies 03

2010-02-14T07:32:00.004-06:00

Okay, Blog. For historical purposes, I shall try to state some things that happened during the opening ceremonies. I doubt it will be cool. I just wanted to put down some things that I remember that were funny. This was a collaboration of me, Belinda, and Troy. I have no idea who said what... except for Troy and the pudding cup.

Memorable things:

I'm nearly certain Wanda Sykes is there. Mostly because Belinda and I just both screamed "Wanda Sykes!"

Dear 2010, you are no 1985. 1985 had actual singers, not just Auto-Tune and American Idols.

I am frightened by the giant crystal phallic things. Why does every Olympics have to scare me with something that looks like a dildo? Especially with the arms sticking out like that. These totem poles look like "the rabbit" vibrators. (I mean, so I've heard...)

Why are all these people wandering around pretending to be natives? They're the whitest people, ever. Where's Jacob Black? And what's with the super old woman? Troy: "It's like she's just wandering around looking for her pudding cup."

Troy has a real problem with the "chute" dancers bopping around in turtlenecks through the entire parade of athletes. He was sure they all must have had their own internal MP3 playing because there was no music. Isn't it weird that they do this every year, too? They did it in Beijing. They did it in Atlanta... It's weird, right?

I love the athletes from little warm countries. There are like 2 of them and they're wearing shorts. Guys, it's cold. Winter Olympics. Snow and whatnot. Put something on that isn't your bathing suit. Bermuda, I get that's all you're known for, and I do love your shorts, but you look ridiculous.

Fiddling, tap-dancing, plaid insanity. Belinda had some great things to say about it. I can't remember them.

Although... SHOES ON FIRE! Was pretty much my only response after I got over all of the plaid.

Joni Mitchell! Okay, I thought for sure Joni was dead. Um... Sorry Joni. And to all of the people watching with me, who had to confirm several times that she was, indeed, alive and singing at the Olympics. Have I mentioned we were drinking alcohol?

Slam poetry, as found on You Tube. Isn't that where they found Sarah Palin? You Tube? I'm pretty sure the 'pubs just googled "Conservative republican woman" and then threw her in the vice presidency category. That was the extent of the vetting process.

Sorry, dozed off while the old white guys were talking. This is the most boring opening ceremonies, yet. I am thoroughly disappointed, Canada. Thank goodness for the alcohol.

Maybe we should just outsource everything to China...

The Olympic flame looks like Superman's Fortress of Solitude. I just screamed "FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE" and then ran around the room and showed everyone the superman tshirt I am wearing. These technical difficulties suck. Please hold. FOREVER.

That's all I really remember... It makes me sad it was lost.

I watched speed skating and women's freestyle moguls last night. And Luge. All of them are scary.

Speed skating - Giant blades on your feet so that you can cut someone if they try to touch you... because just touching you will make you fall over.

Moguls - Just hurts my back watching them. With the bouncing and all the knee surgeries. Why are these women putting themselves through this? Ooooouch. You know that they make ski hills that are completely smooth, right?

Luge - even with the changes, the men are still hitting 91mph. I have a question for you - if they moved the men down to the women and doubles start, can they move the women up to the men's? Hear me out! The women are lighter and usually go slower. And they start lower. Shouldn't they be given the advantage of a higher start? Like in golf - women's tees are closer to the hole - for the advantage. Seems like luge should totally be the opposite of that. --I'm just sayin'.

Okay... probably more random thoughts to come later.

I think I've forgiven blog, even though it never apologized to me. Damn inanimate objects.

End Blog.

Maybe You Should Say You're Sorry

2010-02-13T08:28:00.001-06:00

I'm still really upset about this, Blog.

I don't know if we can still be friends.

End Blog.

Fuck you, Blogger

2010-02-12T23:34:00.003-06:00

I hate blogger.

I had Troy and Belinda both help guest blog the opening events.

Blogger lost it.

It was awesome.

I can't even tell you how angry I am at the whole thing.

We were brilliant and funny and magrinally mean at times. And drunk from the drinking game that was created. And all of it is lost.

Such disappointment. I couldn't save it.

DAMN IT.

No wonder I never blog anymore. This is totally not making me want to.

End Blog.

2010 Winter Olympic Opening Ceremonies 02

2010-02-12T19:24:00.005-06:00

Total running "Tragedy" count - 6

Why the hell is Arnold Schwarzenegger carrying an Olympic torch?

I forgot all about Mary Carillo. I only ever see her during the Olympics, with her deep voice and relatively boring stories. Welcome back into my life for two weeks, Mary. I will promptly forget about you soon.

Why does Apolo Ohno always wear something around his head? Does he think that he's the Karate Kid? Don't you think that Jaden Smith will have something to say about that? Or will he play him in an upcoming feature film about Apolo's life?

I just saw a commercial that had a guy with prosthetic running type feet. All they showed was his fake feet and when they panned up, Dan and I were both disappointed it wasn't a robot. Obviously we're the worst people on earth. I love us.

Below was the best guest blogging event, ever. It most likely didn't make much sense. It was most likely clearly awesome. It has been lost by the computer Gods.

I hate them.

I am sorry that this is lost. =(

Sigh... we were clearly drunk, too. I even lost count on the running tragedy count... siiiiiiigh. I am so disappointed.

End Blog.

2010 Winter Olympic Opening Ceremonies 01

2010-02-12T17:57:00.004-06:00

Dear Blog, It's been a long time. I know that I didn't post anything in January, but the Winter Olympics have brought me out of semi-retirement. I'll try to be better about it...

But for now - The Opening Ceremonies.

FYI, before I start, I wanted to let you know this has been turned into a drinking game. Here are the rules that Belinda and I made up:

Drink -

Rule 1:
Any announcer mentions the lack of snow in Vancouver (alternatively, if they mention the HUGE amount of snow on the East Coast).

Rule 2:
Any announcer mentions the fashion of any of the athlete's uniforms.

Rule 3:
Anytime a Mountie shows up.

Rule 4:
Anytime ANYONE mentions the Beijing Opening Ceremony.

Rule 5:
The providence "Saskatchewan" is mentioned.

Rule 6:
You recognize a famous Canadian. If others do not recognize the Canadian in question, they have to chug their drink. (This should be easy as there are only 7 famous Canadians).

Rule 7:
Nikki says "they must have been on crack when they came up with this", we will all do a shot.

Rule 8:
Anyone is suspended/flying by wires.

Rule 9:
The words "world record" are said.

And finally,
Rule 10:
If the Georgian dead Luge guy is mentioned take a drink. BUT if the words "sacrifice", "tragedy" or "horrific" are mentioned, you MUST finish your drink and pour one out for your homeys.

(We were told it was too soon for #10. Also, it's impossible to finish your drink every time they say "tragedy", because they say it like 5 times in 2 minutes. So, be careful and don't die... like he did.)

I shall post this so you know the rules. There will be more from me on this subject.

Confucius Say

2009-12-07T16:51:00.004-06:00

I realize that I still owe you pictures. I should really have more from Halloween up and now even some from Beth's Second Annual Cookie Baking Party. But, alas, I still don't have my own working camera (Dear Santa) and am too lazy to upload the ones I stole from Carolyn's.

Meanwhile, because I don't have said working camera (Hi Santa!), and I don't have a macro setting on my phone camera, you'll have to forgive the quality of the picture below.

This was hilariousness enough that I laughed out loud by myself at home, so I thought it only right that I share.

*ahem*

River has somehow been getting into trouble even with her muzzle on. She keeps getting into my garbage can by my desk and shredding the junk mail/papers that end up in there. She's done this several times now, so today when I went to work, I put it on top of my desk. Problem solved.

So I thought.

Today when I came home, I let both dogs out and then noticed once again there was some stuff ripped up in the living room. It turned out to be the box that my cell phone came in. Luckily, only the box was ripped up and the receipts that I kept inside were okay, still intact on the floor.

Then I found a small plastic wrapper and realized it must have been from a fortune cookie. Two had been on the coffee table from the night before when Carolyn and I had ordered food. Guess neither of us managed to clean them off the table, or eat them. So, River must have pulled them off the table and opened them up. Not sure who actually ate them.

Anyway, my fortune cookie suspicions were correct, because after I picked up the plastic wrapper, I found this (click for larger):

"You will have a party."

Oh, how right you are.

I laughed out loud. Good one, River. Well played.

No idea where the other plastic wrapper/cookie/fortune is. I can only imagine what that one said. Probably something like, "Destroy all evidence or you will get caught."

Sigh. I don't know what to do with this dog. The muzzle was such a good solution for so many months. I'm out of options, I think. I'm pretty sure I need to clear out some more of the bottom shelves and stuff she might be able to get to. I don't remember where my phone box was, so I'm not sure where she got it from.

Good times. I know who is on Santa's naughty list!

End Blog.

Up Halloween

2009-11-01T12:18:00.008-06:00

I promise I'll put up more pictures later, but here is the crew from Pixar's Up at the Halloween party. I even made Carl's house and have it hanging from the balloons in this picture. Remy went as Dug, even though she didn't quite make the picture. We had a lot going on...

If you can't tell (because my costume is SO good), I'm the old man, Carl Fredricksen. Carolyn is Russell, the Wilderness explorer (I made a couple parts of her costume) and Brenda is the bird, Kevin.

(click picture to enlarge)

I'm very proud. I walked out of this movie when I watched it in June and said, "I'm going to be that old man for Halloween!" I'm glad that I have friends who supported me. And that I was able to sneak Remy into a 'no dogs allowed' house because she was vitally important to the costume. She had a great time and was probably more social than I was!

Sadly, not many of the people at this party had actually seen the movie. Which was just sad. It's Pixar! You'll love it! So, if you haven't seen it, go BUY it on November 10th when it comes to DVD and watch it. Then, retroactively love our costumes.

As always, another great Halloween party.

I wish my digital camera was working. I have to get pictures from others. I'm going to have to get a new one, I suppose.

End Blog.

River v. Cane, Battle for the Ball

2009-10-29T18:59:00.005-05:00

I'm going to be Carl Fredricksen the 78 year old man from Pixar's Up for Halloween. Carolyn is going to be the 8 year old Wilderness Explorer, Russell, Remy will be Dug the talking dog, and Brenda will be Kevin, the exotic bird/snipe.

I tried on my costume tonight. It's going to be perfect. Totally worth every penny and hour I spent working on all of it. There will be pictures, I promise.

Meanwhile, I got my quad-footed cane and put tennis balls on the feet. River really wanted those tennis balls. I took some video for your viewing pleasure. (Don't mind Juno on the TV in the background.)

She's so adorable.

End Blog.

No Idea What She's in For

2009-10-18T22:59:00.003-05:00

River's been a crazy puppy, but now that she's getting a wee bit older, she is more calm... if infrequently. But now, lucky River, she has graduated to being tortured, just like Remy.

She's so smart looking, no?

End Blog.

Too Long Since I've Tortured Remy

2009-10-18T22:50:00.003-05:00

Hey, look! Brenda found a ridiculous hat. And what do we do in the Blackwell household when we find a ridiculous hat? That's right, we put it on Remy!

Yay!

End Blog.

I Miss You, Too

2009-09-22T21:31:00.002-05:00

It's been a long time. I know. I'm lazy and right now I'm sick.

I blame Twitter.

Just wanted to let you know.

Oh, yeah, and I bought an Xbox 360. Also, new television is coming back. So... good luck, blog. You have much to compete with.

I just saw Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs in 3D. It's probably something you should do, immediately.

STEVE!

End Blog.

Toby's Not a Grumpy Old Man

2009-08-08T11:09:00.004-05:00

Belinda is horribly mistaken about her dog, Toby. He's not a grumpy old man. He needs a puppy in his life. Look at how much fun they are having!

It's not really that bad having four dogs in the house. I wouldn't mind it if I became the crazy old dog lady. It's actually pretty entertaining.

Although, someone told me that over the course of their lifetime dogs cost, on average, $36,000. Somehow I think Remy costs way less than that and River will cost way more.

I found a muzzle for River. We're working together to make sure that she thinks the muzzle is the best thing in the entire world and means that she's getting treats. Not sure how it's all going to pan out and I still have some reservations about keeping her in it all day, however I can't think of a better solution. I know that if I spend $150 on a new plastic-type kennel, she'll undoubtedly be able to get out of that one, too. (Her sister, Scout can get out of hers like that.) And she will probably hurt her nose doing so.

So, we'll see how this works.

She didn't eat anything in the house on Friday. Not that it's improvement, but... a mini miracle. Maybe my two doggy guests kept her entertained. I'm beginning to think it's not so much separation anxiety but boredom.

We shall see... the thrills continue.

I just realized that if you're not following my pictures on Twitter, you likely didn't see what she did on Wednesday. So, I shall leave you with this, my moment of anti-zen.

Her toys were under the couch and I think she tried to go through it since she couldn't reach them. She's too smart for me. I put pillows under the couch so nothing else can get under there... and so it continues.

End Blog.

PS, the fenced in yard is fabulous! I love it so much. Thanks for all your hard work Mom and Dad.

Our Own Amusement

2009-07-30T21:52:00.002-05:00

There is a room in the lab called the wet lab where crime scene techs package all their stuff. In this room, there is a vault where they keep things until they're logged into property. This vault has a door with a little window.

On the door there was a sign that stated “Loaded Gun on Shelf!!!” (Yes, 3 exclamation points)

So, I screamed the note out loud to Belinda, who was in the wet lab with me, with enthusiasm, like it was intended to be read. Then, being naturally curious, I looked in the window to the vault. On the shelf in the lab there was another note, “Loaded gun” and on that shelf there was a box (presumably containing said gun, which, by the way, I’ve inferred was loaded) and written on that box was “loaded”.

I told Belinda I wanted to go outside of the wet lab to put up a sign, “Loaded Gun on Shelf in Vault!!!!”

To which she countered that she wanted to go outside of the building and make a note, “Loaded Gun on Shelf in Vault in Wet Lab!!!!!”

We just found it ridiculous how many times it said there was a loaded gun, as if the gun being loaded is somehow remarkably dangerous if it’s sitting on a shelf. Like they just go off by themselves or they’re extremely flammable or volatile or something. Plus, it was the end of the day and I was with Belinda and we make each other laugh. And I may have been dancing around and making wild hand gestures about the loaded gun on the shelf in the vault in the wet lab.

I texted Belinda like 3 or 4 times last night telling her there was a loaded gun on the shelf in vault in the wet lab. It was hilarious.

And thus, it will always make me laugh.

Good story.

End Blog.

Really?

2009-07-27T19:21:00.003-05:00

I read a report today at work that stated something like the following: Upon arrival at the scene the dead body was breathing.

REALLY?

REALLY!!??

Just thought I should share. That is all.

End Blog.

Rape Culture

2009-07-24T17:56:00.003-05:00

I'm sure you've heard about the allegations regarding Ben Roethlisberger and how he raped an employee at Harrah's in Lake Tahoe. I don't know how much you're aware of, or what is going on in the media/blogosphere.

Some take it seriously, some do not, some call her a gold digger. Some say the allegations can't be true because there was no criminal report and it's a year later.

Are you serious?

I deal with this EVERY DAY. And a reason why rape is such a big deal is because of media events like THIS and how poorly they are ALWAYS handled. Remember Kobe Byrant? Anyone know how that ended? All charges were dropped because the woman refused to testify. I don't blame her, either. Do you know how scary that would be? Do you even have any idea how horrible the whole process is? It might even be more emotionally scarring than the assault.

And with this case, everyone told her not to report. That she was lucky to have had sex with this man; he was a legend! Any girl would be lucky to be in her place!

It makes me sick to know that we could have done something for this woman, if only she had come forward. It doesn't matter if your rapist is famous, it's STILL RAPE. She didn't just have sex with him and regret it. She didn't just have sex with him when she didn't want to. That's called rape. She didn't have sex with Ben Roethlisberger, she was raped by him. THERE IS A DIFFERENCE.

This would have been the *perfect* case for anonymous reporting. We're working on it. I promise. You can get a sexual assault exam at the hospital and not report to the police. Do not let anyone talk you out of it. Get it done - even if you're not sure if you're going to prosecute or report to the police. If you decide to a year later, at least the evidence has been collected. Hell, it'll probably take us another year to work it and get a DNA profile if there's anything probative in the kit anyway.

There is help out there. And there are advocates and counseling to get you through it. This woman was hospitalized for depression after the event because she had absolutely no support system.

Our culture, the media, society's views - they're wrong. It's up to all of us to change them.

Here's a really great story regarding rape culture.

If you don't know what it is, read this.

Often times I am reminded how largely ignorant the general populations is. I wonder how it could be that I am brighter than SO MANY people. I don't think of myself that way - until something like this comes along. Then I feel pretty arrogant... but I think, appropriately so.

The media cares about celebrities. About Michael Jackson's death. It's all we report on. I haven't seen one story representing this woman appropriately.

Sure, I believe in innocent until proven guilty. But that doesn't mean that you don't believe the victim's statements. Leave it to the courts to decide - but don't discredit her. It took a lot of courage to come forward.

Sorry, I'm too angry/excitable about this topic... Ending rant. (Totally check that link if you haven't.)

End Blog.

Rage Against the Cage

2009-07-23T17:29:00.007-05:00

After the second failed suicide attempt, I was convinced that it was best for River if I brought her kennel back out and fixed it up so that she couldn't escape. Sure, they said, she would try to escape and probably scrape up her nose again, but when she discovers that she can't get out, she will stop. So, I bought some hardware and zip ties and made the cage impossible for River to get out of. And I put her in it today.

This is that I came home to: (River was still in the cage, so at least my handiwork was suitable.)

She pulled the carpet that was underneath her kennel into the cage. Now, you might be wondering how, exactly she managed to get to the carpet...

She broke the plastic bottom liner thing. And then tore it up into some pieces.

And she BROKE the metal wire of the cage. Easy peasy! No problem getting that carpet in the cage when you're the hulk.

Here is what remains of the bottom plastic.

And here is the twisted metal cage. Seriously. She's only a 45 pound dog. I don't think that I am even strong enough to do this to the cage, even given all day.

Holy twisted metal, Batman!

And this is what happened to my carpet.

So, what I learned from this is that keeping her in the kennel is just as destructive and expensive as keeping her out of the kennel. I mean, given a couple more hours, she probably could have strangled herself on the carpet, which is, I'm sure, what her goal was in this endeavor.

I need a puppy sitter. She just gets so crazy when there are no people around and she's left 'alone'. I need a puppy psychologist for this separation anxiety.

"What? What I'd do?"

End Blog.

Dog Attempts Suicide for the Second Time

2009-07-21T22:19:00.003-05:00

I came home from work today and found that River got into the bathroom while I was gone. There were three bags of stuff from Carolyn's apartment's medicine cabinet on the floor that hadn't quite gotten moved all the way in yet.

River decided to eat their contents, which included a razor, a bottle of acetaminophen, a toothbrush, a tube of icy hot, some cold medicine, a thermometer, and a box a q-tips. There was probably some other random stuff in there, but it wasn't recognizable by the time I got home.

I have no idea how much of the medications she ingested.

I swear this dog is trying to kill herself. I still don't think she'll make it past her first year.

She needs to be put on suicide watch. I need some people to help volunteer for her 24 hour watch. And to take away all the shoelaces...

PS - She's fine. It seems. For now. Until the next time she tries to kill herself. My next guess is strangulation.

End Blog.

Dr. Nik

2009-06-30T23:27:00.003-05:00

I changed River's bandage tonight. It definitely takes 2 people. The cut was bloody and crusty but not actively bleeding or oozy or infected looking. She has at least 5 stitches from what I could tell, though she didn't let me look at it really well.

She was not a fan of the whole process. I think it probably hurt a bunch, but once we got her on her back with a cone on her head, she calmed down. Carolyn's head scratches and soothing sounds probably helped, because I was going, "Ooo! Ick! *sucks in breath* I'm sorry! Oh, ouchy! Stop it! I know... I know..."

But, it's changed... so, I hope we can keep it dry because this isn't something I want to have to do again if I don't have to.

Dumb dog.

End Blog.

I Do Not Like the Cone of Shame

2009-06-30T20:02:00.004-05:00

And my paw still hurts.

Glass is stupid. Why is it so easy to break? And how can something so easy to break cut me so bad?

I hate this.

End Blog.

Suicidal Dog Slits Wrist

2009-06-29T23:12:00.008-05:00

Tonight River took a sliding shoulder into the back door and broke the bottom pane of glass. In doing so, she managed to cut the outside of her right paw and puncture the area right near her dew claw. The laceration was clean and right to the muscle and was bleeding enough that I didn't think I'd be able to stop it myself.

I trapped her in the bathroom and tried to clean her up a bit and then taped paper towels to her paw to apply some pressure and stop the bleeding. (You know, after I stood in the bathroom for a minute staring at the medicine cabinet thinking, "I need gauze." "I don't have gauze." "I need gauze." It was a vicious cycle.)

Carolyn looked up an emergency vet and drove us there and I called Belinda to pick up Remy and take her to her house so that she didn't somehow get into the broken glass. I didn't need two cut puppies and bills to go with them. (Remy got a bath at Belinda's! How cool is that?)

When we got there, the vet cut off my make-shift bandage, looked at the wound, and bandaged her back up. Then he gave her a sedative. And it knocked her out. It also made her vomit up her dinner. She she is being really sleepy in the doctor's office.

And here is my shirt with dog blood on it. Luckily, I was in my lawn mowing getup, so I don't really care.

I think I might donate this shirt to the lab. What's not fun about dog blood on a shirt?

They gave her some stitches and bandaged her up. While she was there, I went to Lowe's to buy some stuff to fix the window. I settled on plexiglass and silicone to fix it in there, with a backup plan of plastic tarp in case I wasn't handy enough to fix it.

The bandage can't get wet and it needs to be changed if it does. If not, I have to change it every 3 days. It's starting to bother her because she keeps licking at it and limping and favoring it.

I put a latex glove over her paw to keep it dry and carried her outside because I thought she might have to pee. She turned right around a gimped herself back into the house. Then I fed her because I realized she threw up all her food earlier. She liked that, because she always likes food... and I gave her an antibiotic and some pain meds that are supposed to make her drowsy. It's kind of working, but she keeps messing with her paw.

Hopefully it will kick in soon.

Carolyn babysat her while I fixed the back door. Turns out I am awesome and managed to clean up the glass and put in a piece of plexiglass to fix it. Not sure how permanent of a fix it is, but I'm going to try to keep it for as long as I can. I'm pretty sure a new door or new glass might be really expensive.

I know, those pictures were really exciting.

Update: I took her out again and she peed and ran right back to the door. Then came in a drank a whole bowl of water. Maybe I'll set my alarm for the middle of the night to check on her.

Because this is the kind of thing she does when I'm sleeping:

(Not all the time, she just apparently didn't like Kovu's bed.)

Okay, it's late and been an eventful day. I'm going to try to get some sleep. I hope River does the same.

End Blog.

Gezuntite

2009-06-23T23:46:00.004-05:00

When you watch this, just remember that I had to first realize that she was continuously sneezing, had to find my camera, and then had to actually get it on video. There must have been like 15 sneezes before this even happened.

Wow. Ever hear that thing about how if you sneeze seven times in a row it's like having an orgasm? Lucky dog.

End Blog.

Crunchy!

2009-06-18T23:12:00.006-05:00

Beetles, beware! River has a new favorite thing - eating those of you that fly into the house at night. At first she would play with them for awhile before eating them, now she just sits down and has a snack... unless it's a remarkably big beetle. Then she plays with it forever, throws it at me and scares me half to death, and then only eats parts of it, forcing me to clean up after her.

Lucky for you, I got the best part of that story on video. Watch:

You'd have screamed too. It was a big, scary beetle. It doesn't matter that my six month old puppy wasn't afraid of it. That's not the point!

End Blog.

Pictures of My Children

2009-06-14T21:58:00.004-05:00

Here is some more puppy picture spam. They get along much better than they used to, but Remy still gets a bit upset with River sometimes. And when she's not running away or digging holes in the yard, River is a pretty good puppy, if not a little hyper. Forgive the grainyness of some of these. I took them with my phone because my camera is in the car and I am too lazy to go retrieve it.

Are you really surprised?

Adorable!!

End Blog.

What is this Factor, Exactly?

2009-06-13T09:56:00.004-05:00

How does anyone watch Bill O'Reilly? I mean, honestly, I can't even understand how anyone, even those who actually have similar beliefs, can manage to watch his show. I don't think that he has a normal speaking tone. He's always yelling about something ~~ridiculous~~ and it always seems like he is defensive, never lets his guest speak - instead they have to try to scream over him to even try to answer his questions, and then he goes about contradicting himself from one sentence to the next, so that he doesn't even make any sense.

If this is what he is like in real life, I can't imagine he has any friends. Who would keep a friend who never lets them express opinions or have a normal, casual conversation? Must he say exactly what he thinks immediately for fear that it will fall out of his head?

I can't watch him. Every single time I try to, I can feel my blood pressure spike. And I'm sure that it's not just because of his content (although I rarely, if ever agree). It's because he just seems mean. Not only that, but I don't understand why anyone would agree to appear on his show.

People in the "left" media blame O'Reilly for Dr. Tiller's murder because he kept calling him a "baby killer" on the air. I don't necessarily blame that specific action on Tiller's death. No, I'm sure that anyone who regularly watches The O'Reilly Factor would simply go insane. That's what happened to Scott Roeder. If I were him, I'd use that as my defense in court and to prove it, I'd have the jury watch a few hours of that show.

I'm sure they'll let him go under the condition that he never has access to a television again.

Which leads me to a really great segue. Why in the world is FoxNews or MSNBC on televisions in public places like the dentist office or the airport? Everyone knows that we don't get unbiased news anymore. And since this country feels so divided, why would these be the things piped into waiting areas filled with people that have different views on life?

Wouldn't it be nicer to just put on the discovery channel or the food network? We don't need this sort of stress in our lives. (Okay, for truths, I would really like a "fair and balanced" news station. Remind me again why we don't have one.)

It's amazing that O'Reilly hasn't keeled over from a heart attack on the air yet. I thought about embedding a clip of his show to prove my point, but I can't even bring myself to spread his rhetoric. I'm sure you understand what I'm talking about without it.

End Blog.

How Can They Be Cuter in Their Sleep?

2009-06-02T23:10:00.004-05:00

I love it when they sleep. And get along. Right next to each other.

Those are some good dogs. Wouldn't it be nice if I trusted River enough to just go to bed right now?

End Blog.

Thankfully, She Loves Me Anyway

2009-06-02T21:19:00.005-05:00

Remember when Remy got dressed up in Royals gear? Or when she was put in a hat? (I know, you're asking, "Which time?" right now.) It seems that many of the times the shenanigans of torturing Remy occur, Brenda is around. This past weekend was no exception. This time we decided that Remy should join in on the mustache fun.

She was not pleased... can you imagine? But she did get a lot of treats for her trouble. Here are the fruits of our labor! (You can see Dany in the background of some of these photos. As you can tell, she had nothing to do with this.)

I can't tell you how much I love this dog. I'm sure Caesar Milan would totally disapprove.

End Blog.

River Has a Higher IQ Than I Do

2009-05-27T21:32:00.003-05:00

River pulled my blanket off of the sofa and put it on her pillow. This dog is crazy smart.

And Comfy.

And Cute.

I lurves her!

End Blog.

Yard Wish List

2009-05-27T19:36:00.012-05:00

My parents are coming to visit in late June and as part of the visit, Dad has agreed to finish off the fence around my yard. I have received a request for pictures of what needs to be done, so here is the portion that requires a fence. The left side of the house: (click on pictures to make them bigger)

There's kind of a slope. That will probably make things difficult.

And the right side of the house:

This is the side that I would like some sort of gate to go on.

The whole house with yard:
The entire lot that I'm on is 75 feet by 140 feet. I have taken no measurements. I'm guessing the fence-needing part is 30ish feet.

This area here is right along where the fence would go in along the left side. I think some bushes were cut down here before I moved, leaving a bunch of stupid root things that keep sprouting ugly foliage. I'd really like to get this out of here, but I don't have the tools to do it. Maybe if I bought a hatchet I could hack it up.

And while we're at it, here is the wish list I have to fix up all of my backyard.

You can't tell, but this is part of the fence in the back yard. It's leaning pretty badly.

Here it is from the side. I think all the vine crap that grows on it is pulling it down. I'd love to get rid of the vine stuff, but 1) it's my neighbor's fence too and I don't know what he thinks about that, and 2) the vines might be what's holding it up. It would look nicer without it, but all I really want it to make sure it's supported and isn't going to come down anytime soon.

Then there are the tree stumps. Some of them seem dead, some of them still sprout new shoots... all of them are a little too tall to mow over. I would really love to just mow my back yard without worrying about these or having my blades hit them accidentally. I so want to get them at least short enough to mow over. Gone would be better, short is all I ask.

I think this will be the easiest to get rid of. It already seems like it's rotting.

You can't really tell what's going on here. But I have issues with the mowing. I hate tree stumps.

I HATE this one. It keeps trying to regrow its tree. By the end of the year I'll probably have a huge bush out back. I cut it down last fall, but it grows really fast and I'm sure that at some point I won't be able to stay on top of it. (Hi Remy's head!)

And then there is the horrible back corner of the yard. The fence needs a little bit of work and this is where all the trees and sticks around my house go to die. I'd like to get rid of them. I'd also like to not have to cut them up in little small pieces for the garbage. Some of the things in here have really sharp thorns. I hate this pile. I wish I could just burn it all or something.

I also hate the huge tree stump by this pile.

It's got some cable thing by it that is attached to the electric/telephone/cable line pole. Probably I'm not supposed to touch it. I really want it out of there.

And finally, last but not least, this damn clothes line pole. I only have one, so I can't even have a real clothes line! (Not that I want one.)

I hate this whole area of my yard. Blerg.

So, that's all the things I'd like to do outside. They probably won't all be tackled, but that is the dream.

Dad, please use this as a guide on what you need to bring with you. =)

End Blog.

Pub Crawl for Cancer

2009-05-17T22:39:00.014-05:00

Saturday a group of us participated in the Pub Crawl for Cancer in Westport. It is an insane event that must raise a ton of money based on the number of people that were there. And it turns out it's an excuse to be completely ridiculous and offensive in public and people will cheer for you as they pass.

Let me explain.

The group that I was with was a bunch of college frat friends of Daniel/Alex/Tom, and then my friends who joined their group. There were over 20 of us. Their group dressed up based on an SNL skit/music video "I'm on a Boat". (See below. If you don't already know about this, you have to watch it to understand these pictures. I had not seen it before Saturday, so the joke was completely lost on me. It was sad. I think this means that I am old.)

Because we didn't know what the theme was on the other half of the team, and we were encouraged to "dress silly" by the team captain, we decided to take our fake mustaches out in public again. They were also a huge hit. I get more compliments when I wear a mustache than at any other time... ever... in my entire life. Scratch that - you get just as many compliments in a fake mustache as you do when you're wearing a bridesmaid's dress. I know which I'd rather, but as long as the end result in these costumes is getting drunk, it doesn't really matter much. Right?

I think that is all the background story you need. Enjoy photos from the pub crawl.

Howdy!

Team captain, Alex in his ascot. Classy.

Only Brenda and I managed to keep our 'staches the whole day. This is the free after party. Trust me, there were way more people there than it looks.

He'll probably kill me for catching this photo at such a perfect time and putting it up on my blog. All the guys felt the need to rip each other's sleeves off. I'm sure it has something to do with being a boy, so I'll never understand.

I have no recollection of this. I don't know what they are doing. Maybe it was when I went to the bathroom because I didn't think I was so drunk that I wouldn't remember...

Messy much? She puts ketchup on her ketchup.

Brilliant! Best photo of the day.

Hungry found us and followed us around all day. We said he could stay as long as he wore a mustache, too.

If you don't know who hungry is... (Is this a lesson in pop culture or what?)

I think Ashley's hungry...

Hungry for beer!

And Tom's hungry for Hungry.

This little dude was obviously too fun.

And this, folks, was how our group walked through the streets of Westport. We had a boombox that continuously played the SNL song. We were on a boat!

There was a buoy. His back read "No Wake Zone". He would stop traffic in the middle of the street. It was amazing we didn't get hit by a car or arrested in the streets. You can kinda see T-Pain behind him.

Colleen somehow convinced the people working the burger line to let her flip the burgers. It's amazing what being appropriately dressed will get you. The back of her shirt also stated "I Flip The Burgers"

I can't tell you how many strangers on the street asked ME how this was possible. I would shake my head and say that I wasn't sure, but I did know that she gave him crabs.

It was a pretty awesome day. I'd totally do it again. Nothing like getting cirrhosis to cure cancer. It's worth it though.

End Blog.

Disappearing River

2009-05-15T00:02:00.005-05:00

More River video! She destroys the couch and hides herself within its cushions. The little toy that she has is a heart that was ripped off of a stuffed animal.

Maybe she's trying to build a fort... What a goofball.

End Blog.

Computer Virus

2009-05-14T23:52:00.004-05:00

I got one somehow. It sucked.

Four days of frustration later, I think I've got it under control.

Here are some FREE invaluable resources:
AVG Virus Scanner
Trend Micro House Call and HijackThis
Killbox
SpyBot Search and Destroy
Ad-Aware

Sorry for the absence, I think I'm sort of back, although next week's calendar is totally full of things, so maybe not quite "back" back.

End Blog.

It's So Quiet

2009-05-07T22:17:00.003-05:00

River is spending the night at the vet. She got spayed this morning and they are keeping her overnight. It's really quiet. We've only have to go out twice tonight. Remy's sleeping soundly on the couch.

It's so weird.

I kinda miss her.

Remember this moment tomorrow... and for the next week when I have to take her outside on a leash and try to keep her calm so she doesn't pop a stitch or something.

Cross your fingers that she'll get a cone! I can see fabulously funny video coming from that.

I hope she's doing okay on her own...

End Blog.

PS... she vomited in my car this morning on the ride there. It's like she knew something bad was going to happen...

Wait For It...

2009-05-04T22:02:00.007-05:00

She's just plain entertaining. It really doesn't matter what she's up to, if she's walking around, you best put the camera on her.

You requested more, please? Ask and you shall receive.

End blog.

Golden Child

2009-04-30T18:22:00.003-05:00

I'd be a horrible mother. I totally play favorites. You wouldn't know it from the blog postings, but Remy is the golden child. Having River around just makes me appreciate how well behaved Remy is even more.

I wish I knew who trained her. I'd give River away for a few months to teach her some manners.

So, because the blog has been awfully River-centric the past month (I've only had her a month... it seems so much longer), here a a few pictures of Remy.

I have to say, she's not quite as exciting to photograph, but I still love her oodles.

End Blog.

PS, River just fell off the couch. It was hilarious.

Everyone's Doing It

2009-04-27T22:31:00.004-05:00

Even Belinda is in on the puppy picture spam!

http://everyoneelsehadone.blogspot.com/2009/04/free-labor.html

Everyone loves her. It's impossible not to... I mean - look!

'Nough said.

End Blog.

Up And Away

2009-04-27T22:09:00.005-05:00

We went to Red Robin Friday night for dinner and, as always, someone picked up a balloon on the way out. (Get this, it wasn't me. Carolyn, Beth and Ashley all took one. And then Beth abruptly lost hers when she tried to tie it around her wrist which ended up killing a dolphin.)

Anyway, some were left in my car and therefore it only seemed right to let the puppy play with one.

I'm sure you can tell, she's screaming, "Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!"

Now you know why I was so upset about not being able to get the info off of my SDHC card (You know, if you saw that twitter). I bought a card reader tonight - all is well again. And the USB port I plugged right into my fancy new monitor... which I now realize that I never put up pictures of.

End Blog.

Play Food

2009-04-22T06:49:00.000-05:00

I gave River a vitamin that I got for free at the pet expo. She wasn't quite sure what it was. It took her at least five minutes to decide to eat it instead of play with it.

She makes me giggle.

She also doesn't understand how food magically appears in her bowl. Or she thinks that she's a magician... Either way, this is also funny. And slightly annoying.

She's certain that I'm not feeding her enough. Yet another thing that River is wrong about...

End Blog.

Obviously, Technology Isn't As Cool As It Thinks It Is

2009-04-21T21:47:00.002-05:00

Two things I learned today:

I just found a feature that allows me to text blog posts directly from my phone to Blogger. (See below.) Obviously, it doesn't work and is limited to 160 characters.

Seems that I'll only use Twitter for that purpose since it actually works...

End Blog.

2009-04-21T21:46:00.003-05:00

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2009-04-21T21:46:00.001-05:00

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Dog Haven

2009-04-16T22:46:00.004-05:00

More picture spam. Because this is really what my life is now, watching dogs. They are more entertaining than most anything else though so I'm quite happy.

This looks rather familiar, doesn't it, Remy?

"This pillow is mine. I don't care that I haven't used it since we moved here. It's mine, I tell you, mine! Don't come near it again!"

"I love you, Sister. You're the best under-pillow pillow I've ever known."

Ah, frenemies meet again.

End Blog.

Bobbing For Turtles

2009-04-16T22:24:00.003-05:00

It's not always a turtle, but almost every day River dunks something in her water dish. She is super messy, but hilarious. For instance, look at this photo essay:

Remy: "What are you doing in my water?"

River: "Oh! Nothing. I mean, I'm totally drinking. Duh. What else would you do in a water bowl?"

River: "Oh! Shiny!"

Turtle: "Thanks for putting me back in my natural habitat!"

Nikki: "You're making a mess!!"

River: "I just wanted to take care of my pet turtle."

This is pretty much a normal day in the Blackwell household...

End Blog.

Lest We Forget

2009-04-08T22:22:00.003-05:00

Remy's still really cute in case anyone's forgotten!

End Blog.

More Puppy Picture Spam

2009-04-08T21:44:00.007-05:00

Little River seems to get into the most remarkable of places.

I also found out that she can somehow get into the bathroom when the door is only opened four inches.

She kicked the stereo with her back leg and opened the door to the tape deck. (It surprised her a lot!) I haven't gotten around to closing it yet, so if you were observant enough to notice, that's the reason why it's open.

Yay pictures!

End Blog.

Maybe I Should Have Named Her Bronco

2009-04-06T20:41:00.004-05:00

I took the puppy to the vet today because she's been doing this weird periodic cough thing. Sometimes right when I come home from work, sometimes when she runs around a lot, and like, all the time when she pulls when on her leash there's the little gagging cough.

The doctor diagnosed her with tracheobronchitis which is basically kennel cough. Awesome. She got some pills and he said she'd be feeling better in 3-5 days and it was good I bought her in because it wasn't deep in her lungs yet and she didn't have pneumonia. She got her temperature taken (which she really did not care for as it was rectally) and a rabies shot and some flea and tick meds and a delicious heartworm chewy.

This dog doesn't seem sick at all. The pamphlet they gave me said to limit her exercise, but that's damn near impossible. She's so crazy. So, I'm not following that recommendation because the only way to do it would be to drug her with some alcohol or something.

Anyway, the doc said that it's not uncommon with the weather being how it is and he's seen a lot of it. Although, he didn't seem to worried about Remy catching it, so I guess that's good. I'm just to keep an eye on them both.

Meanwhile, she's due for more shots for distemper and the like on the 15th and Remy is going to get some shots and a heartworm test and I'm getting them to trim her toenails at the same time too. So, she'll probably hate me... more. The next trip will be pricey, so luckily they didn't charge me for an office visit today - just the meds which were only $14.00. The best part about it is that River totally just ate the pill all by itself. Let's see how long that lasts...

I leave you with the River picture of the day. This is where she decided to go after the doctor took her temp and gave her a shot - under a countertop in a cubbyhole where they keep the trash. Seems about right... poor girl. Here's to a speedy recovery!

End Blog.

Brain Damaged

2009-04-04T16:35:00.005-05:00

River got a bath today because she smelled like puppy vomit do to a small unfortunate event last night and me being too lazy to get up and clean it up at 4am. That's what kennels are for, right?

Anyway, here she is after the bath being silly because all dogs are silly after baths. I'm amazed she didn't make herself dizzy and vomit all over again.

Puppies are so entertaining.

End Blog.

Frenemies?

2009-04-02T17:42:00.005-05:00

More of this, please!

End Blog.

Puparazzi

2009-04-02T07:29:00.005-05:00

River is such a spoiled celebrity about things. I mean, she went all Sean Penn on the puparazzi and I have the million dollar photo to prove it.

See? She's got the camera by the strap and attacked the photographer shortly there after.

Those celebrities are out of control.

End Blog.

Remy and River

2009-04-01T21:11:00.009-05:00

When the pups are inside, Remy goes out of her way to ignore River. When they are outside, they look like best friends, playing all the time. I don't know what happens when they cross the threshold to cause them to become mortal enemies, but I wish they would get over it.

For one, Remy's doing weird things like crawling under my desk and laying where my legs are supposed to go. It isn't so bad that she's extra clingy (she's also sleeping on top of me in bed) but she gets all tangled in my keyboard cable and pulls my keyboard from its home, which is annoying. Secondly, she's not doing any of her normal stuff. She doesn't even lay on the couch like normal. It's like she's put out in her own home and really upset about it. And finally, when they are outside playing - or vying for dominance, I'm not sure - they refuse to come in for anything. I really need to complete my yard fence so that I can just leave them out there without standing at the door to watch the whole time.

River, on the other hand, desperately wants to be Remy's friend indoors and out. She keeps trying to edge closer and closer to her... all the time. You know, that is when she's not distracted by something shiny, or moving, or fluffy, or chewy...

Doot doo... just lying on the couch like you...

Nothing to see, I'm not doing anything...

I touched your tail! Look how close I am!!!

I'm not sure if they finally overcame their issues or what, but they started playing together tonight inside the house! The pictures look much more vicious than it really was. Remy is such a good dog. She's so nice about the biting, even though I know River's teeth are sharp. She can put River's whole head in her mouth and not hurt the baby. I can only hope that she rubs off on the newbie and I get two great dogs out of this... though I can't imagine having a dog better behaved than Remy.

So, whatever is going on, I'm hoping Remy wins.

I'm trying to play them hard tonight so I don't have to wake up a million times in the middle of the night like I did last night. I think it's working... look who's tuckered out. This is about how tired I felt this morning.

End Blog.

Naming Update

2009-03-31T19:19:00.003-05:00

Okay, I tried out Lexi. It's hard to say a bunch of times in a row. The more I use it, the more I don't like it, so it's back to the drawing board.

I thought about using Riley but Dad says it's too close to my sister's dog Ripley. Riley is cute and easy to say. It's on the back burner.

Right now I'm calling her River. I like it. It's a little different. It's also a Joss Whedon character (Firefly) like Riley (Buffy the Vampire Slayer), if that makes a difference to anyone.

River. Rivey. Rivs. Rivers. Rivseys. Riv.

I think I like this one the most so far... to be continued...

End Blog.

No Name Started Responding to "No Name"

2009-03-30T21:22:00.008-05:00

It's about time I name her already.

The leading one (since I've gotten all my friends involved) is currently Lexus. Or Lexington.

Thoughts?

Are Remington and Lexington too similar? How do you feel about Lexi or Lex or Lexus?

Lexington = super American, first revolutionary war battle, even though I hate history. Lexus = foreign car maker, better sounding name to yell, kinda classy... or maybe snobby. Lex = villain in Superman.

Naming children is hard.

End Blog.

PS, I took her to see her sister tonight. They had loads of fun.

Oops, I Accidentally Got Another Puppy

2009-03-29T20:25:00.011-05:00

Today I found out the hard way that it is impossible to look at puppies and not bring one home. I went to the home show with one of my friends and I came home with a puppy. Granted, so did my friend, but she's actually been kinda looking for a puppy since hers passed away. Was this decision well thought out? Absolutely not. But puppy! Adorable! Squeeeeee!

The puppies are from the same litter. Mom is a pointer, dad a husky. Her sister's name (that said friend took home) is Scout. I'm still working on a name for my puppy.

She smells like a puppy. She has puppy breath. She is amazingly adorable because I think she looks exactly like Remy would have as a puppy. If only she had the white stripe on her head! This puppy looks like Remy's daughter. It's fabulous.

She's been silly, rolling around in the grass and playing with Remy's toys which are as big as she is. Remy's tried to get her to play a few times and her reaction is always the same: she hits the deck and rolls over into submission. Is there actually a dog in the world more submissive than Remy, the Omega dog?

Here are some pictures:

Stick!

Food!

Are they the same dog? Have I discovered time travel?

Probably.

Help me think of a fitting name. The ones currently in the running are - Roxy, Riot, Magic and Blaze. I couldn't think of a good gun type name to go well with Remy... so if you can, I'd like some suggestions. She's also got the little white tip on her tail, and her tail is curly. I guess it's the husky in her. No idea if she'll mohawk or not.

Here's some video for help with personality.

Also, Brenda adopted a cat today... Wonder Twins activate... in the form of... Adoption!

End Blog.

Mustache Mayhem

2009-03-16T21:38:00.007-05:00

You may know that one of my friends, Daniel, has grown a mustache and has had it for quite some time now (like, a year). When asked when he would shave it off, his response was, "When it goes out of style." I'm not sure how Mustache Mayhem came about, but I'm not one to ask too many questions when something like this comes my way. Five girls in fake mustaches? Hilarious.

Plus, it also gives you an excuse to run around saying things like, "Mario!" and "Luigi!" and "I'd like a pizza pie!"

And fight with your best friend.

And walk to the grocery store for beer and cake.

People are so friendly to you when you're in a fake mustache. And they don't even care that you're in a fake mustache when they card you for buying beer. I can't even begin to describe what a great time we had watching people's reactions... especially those driving by our caravan of three cars.

And it gives you an excuse to play lawn darts and judge accordingly.

And claim ownership of things by placing your foot on them. The Anderson's couch was claimed in the name of mustache. I can't tell you how happy I was to still own this hat. It complimented my mustache so well.

And an excuse to look at Playboy. The boys have real mustaches in case you were wondering.

Even my Watchmen sticker grew a mustache for the occasion.

Hilarity ensued all day. But this was my favorite moment. Brokeback Mustache... our hand faces drank their way off into the sunset together... and lived mustache ever after.

I know, sometimes it's awesome to be me. All of these women are getting an extra point in my friend book... +1, will wear fake mustache in public for no good reason. Happy Snake Saturday.

End Blog.